#i literally started a gay club my senior year and was told that i shouldn't attend because I'm just an ally and it was weird for them

[gently-radical]

Thinking about how when I was younger, my best friend would "come out" to me each time she felt that a different word or identity fit her. She would come to me, be like "I think I'm bisexual because XYZ reasons" and I would respond with what I thought was supportive words and I'd tell her that nothing she could ever tell me would change how much I love and respect her. First she identified as asexual, then bisexual, then lesbian, then nonbinary, then gender fluid, and finally a trans man. Each time, I told her that I'm proud of her and anything she discovers about herself will never change our friendship.

She told me after four years of this, that she wished I would be more supportive, because hearing me say that nothing would change just made her feel like I was parroting the supportive friend playbook and that my words weren't my own. We can unpack all of that later if we need to, but the reason I'm thinking of this is because I still, to this day, do not understand how I wasn't supportive enough, and I'm finding it wildly funny in this moment that I was "unsupportive" but every time I tried to tell her that I was confused about my sexuality she would just tell me "oh you're definitely straight, I think you just have some issues to work out"

I definitely had some issues to work out. Namely, being friends with homophobes and gender trenders who made me feel like I couldn't possibly be gay because I was "too normal"

#i literally started a gay club my senior year and was told that i shouldn't attend because I'm just an ally and it was weird for them #just things i chuckle at nowadays as i shop for engagement rings for my gf 🙃