#i literally can't even get meds for my 18 mental illnesses and now im gonna get hrt? in THIS neighborhood?

[octobergraves]

the thing that really put it all into perspective was when i told my friend i wasn’t sure if i was nonbinary or trans and she said “well if you woke up as a guy tomorrow how would you feel? do you think you’d still be nonbinary?” and i haven’t known peace since

#dismiss the bis #a part of me really doesn't want to be trans because i just. don't want to go through all the fucking hoops of getting meds and getting #surgery and coming out to people and etc etc #i literally can't even get meds for my 18 mental illnesses and now im gonna get hrt? in THIS neighborhood? #i couldn't even get my family to call me a far more feminine name than my birth name and now im gonna tell them im trans and it'll be okay? #unlikely #also my 'friend' group is super uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh bigoted so i doubt they'd be chill with it either #so it'd. definitely be easier to just live out the rest of my life as a woman. but god it Sucks lol #sorry i drank a like 20oz frozen mocha w/ brownie bits earlier and i think all the sugar broke my brain and is unlocking Extra Emotions #so tonite is Gender Night