#i like drawing unicorns for the kids but they are just horses with a horn | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

melodymelancholyart · 8 months

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We’ve reached 100 followers, and of course here’s your reward lol

The Smosh Pony Celebration Post!🎉

I’m going to supply the Smosh pony art I made in middle school , more art of the “Smosh in Equin” mock au, and Smosh pony designs based on Ian and Anthony’s current appearances! My two hyper fixations merged into an abomination of god!💕 This post is a long one so I hope you all enjoy!

I’ve noticed that some of you guys aren’t familiar with Mlp lore I don’t blame you I’ll supply some terminology and definitions so we’re all on the same page. I’ll be focusing on the lore of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic which I’ll be shortening to MLPFIM for simplicity sake. I’ll only go over really basic lore so you don’t need to watch the show to understand this post.

Cutie Mark - that weird symbol on a pony’s ass. They signify that pony’s ‘special talent’ or a symbol that represents their identity. These special talents are usually an activity that comes natural to its owners. Some can get rather abstract in meaning and design while others might be obvious. For example, a pony good at drawing might have a pencil and paper as a cutie mark. This gets very existential the more you think about it

Equestria - the central setting of MLPFIM ruled by two princesses. It’s home to ponies, dragons, and a multitude of fantasy creatures.

Pony - Ponies exist as three main types; Earth Ponies (normal horse), Pegasus (horse with wings), and Unicorns (wizard horse).

Pegasus (lore) - Pegasi can fly and move/stand on clouds. They usually work in controlling the weather. The weather is weirdly manual in the MLPFIM universe I’m not getting into it

Unicorns - Horses with a horn that allow them to use magic! Mostly telekinesis unless the pony is has raw magical talent (ie. Twilight Sparkle).

Earth Ponies - Normal horses but agricultural makes bank so they aren’t complaining.

Alicorns - All three horse types in one er a Pegasus with a horn.

(Made in 2012)

I originally made a cringey Smosh pony ‘series’ in middle school. All your favorite characters are here! Looking back, this entire concept was just really self indulgent. I shipped myself with Anthony (gurl wtf you’re 12??? Of course she’s an alicorn too lol) and some of these characters. As embarrassing as this is, I remember getting my friends involved, and we all would bounce ideas off each other about plot and lore. Just a bunch of preteen artists meshing what they love in one big project.

That being said if my preteen horse sona did meet Ian and Anthony it would probably be like this:

Cynicism aside I decided to draw the old designs of Ian and Anthony for old times sake.

I have no clue why they’re wearing hoodies like an eddsworld character or why Anthony has the Smosh symbol as a cutie mark but Ian doesn’t.

Fast forward to fuckin last year I got the idea for the April Fools Smosh horse thing and my brain just ran with it. This entire 'au' is one big satire of my middle school concept.

Terms like ‘cutie mark’ and ‘Equestria’ are replaced with ‘soul brand’ and ‘Equin’ since it doesn’t actually take place in the MLP universe.

Minor spoilers: Sketch ver. Ian and Anthony fuckin die and are reincarnated as horses forgetting their past lives. They grew up and live as social outcasts unable to use magic/fly properly because they literally don’t belong there and the universe is actively rejecting them. They fight forces that look like biblically accurate angels because they’re celestial bodies trying to remove them from the universe (Ian and Anthony are only fighting them because they think the big wheels with eyes are keeping them there but it’s actually something else).

With that being said, art time!

That got me thinking about what Ian and Anthony would look like if they were in the mlp universe. Of course my brain took this concept and ran with it. I’d like to share what I came up with!

Stellar Prism (Anthony) and Golden Horizon (Ian)

• They got their cutie marks together at the same time as kids.

• Gold’s talent is radiating sun energy that makes everyone in a 10ft radius happy. He literally glows when he’s happy.

• Prism can focus on someone’s talent and magnify the magic energy from them. I used Anthony’s quote of being a magnifying glass as a jumping off point.

• They preform comedy shows together akin to a manzai routine where Prism is the straight man and Gold is the funny man. They’d travel Equestria preforming together.

• Just like real life, Prism split from Gold because he felt like he didn’t know who he was without Gold. His talent is showing other people’s potential but he wanted to discover his own. While split, Prism studied more “unpopular” forms of magic to rediscover himself. He basically went through the abyss but came out on the other side self content. His ‘tattoos’ are side effects from these magic experiments.

• During the split, Gold met other aspiring comedians (other Smosh members) and they all formed into a comedy troupe.

• When Gold reunited with Prism, he was so happy that he accidentally flashbanged Prism.

• Prism calls Gold “Duck” because he looks like a rubber duck.

• Gold is a pretty fast flyer. He can out-fly most members of the troupe.

That's all from me! Thank you guys again for 100 followers! I've never really used Tumblr and I'm very late to the game. I'm still thankful for all the support I received! <3

Don't come cryin to me if this post got you to draw horses lol

#smosh #ian hecox #anthony padilla #ianthony #mlp #mlp fim #mlp art #my art #smosh art #mlp au lore #mlp au #ramblings #character design #my little pony friendship is magic #my little pony #☀️🔍#☀️ 🔍

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prestonmonterey · 3 months

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silly guy (oc) (more info below)

ok so funny story

i made this misfits and magic oc that was friends with evan (uhh cuz i think brennan mentioned that hed like bunk in summer camps in the middle of nowhere midwest)

so....this guy (julian. is his name. i think?) i made him like a year ago.. wayyyy before i learned about adamandi. or camp here and there...

but... hes basically a camp here and there oc so im makin it official

hes like...kinda a counselor i guess? official supervisor of the creativity cabin

(hes also pretty much ambrose bassford he/him classics. but. s okay i still love him /j)

uhh heres my old art of him that made me remember he existed

not super sure if i like the new drawing more. but. it exists so

julian richardson

he/him (ftm)

counselor of creativity cabin

aroaceflux

he wears the silly oversized letterman cuz...um...his mom got it for him and he likes it (shhh not me making up lore on the spot to justify my silly character design whims)

boots for hiking bc summer camp or something

idk if chnt actually has counselor uniforms that theyre sposed to wear or something but hed either wear the camp polo or just like. a graphic tee

(also when he was a mismag oc it was also an unsleeping city crossover and i think he was vox phantasma of. idk wherever he lives.) so...um some kind of like dream prophecies ig

idk what else to say

oh he has a lot of friendship bracelets (and pins on his bag that i totally didnt forget to draw :\ ) from like. camp arts and crafts activities

uhh hes probably gotten more than a safe amount of paint and glue and stuff on his skin bc he only wears cutoffs (and he takes off the letterman for activities, so it doesnt get dirty)

(he was also...how do i say this in a way that makes sense to anyone else...idk horse coded...specifically unicorn) i think he had a big phase of like. idk whats a popular unicorn book series. i imagine like warriors cats but horses (warriors does exist in chnt. so i guess it doesnt make sense? idk i feel like its plausible. my friend wrote warriors horse fanfic when i was a kid. and i feel like having big poky horns could have potential for immense gore)

anyway i guess that means hes a horse girl

#marble musings #uhh #i just remembered i dont have an art tag #should i make one #marble draws #is that good?#too late i already did it :\#mmm #chnt #i guess #chnt oc #camp here and there oc

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seraphex · 12 days

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hello hex seraphex ‼️ it is me back again ask for permission basing a cosplay off yr designs 🙏 and to ask if you have a reference/notes for your rumi designs because my partners and i are going to be the godslayers for a con in a couple of months and id love to try and incorporate some of your rumi design in my costume ::DD

YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY PERMITTED!!!! please send me pics too when it’s done if ur comfy with doing so :3 i would literally bounce off the walls <3 i don’t have very Official references for any of my jrwi designs since i like to mess with them and change the details a lot but i tried to scrapе together some notes + pictures !! hope it helps a bit

the way i draw rumi is based a lot on stuff like the last unicorn bc i loved that book as a kid. so that’s where the fluffy hooves ears and tail come from :-) and i draw all their hair/fur as white but i like to imagine it being kind of shimmery/sparkly like the hair on those old my little pony toys as well. so basically they’re Horse 🐎

also i figure the tail could help them balance since they don’t have plantigrade feet, same as vyncent . and because it looks fun. and i <3 making shit up about how fantasy anatomy works

their skin isn’t meant to be That pale white i just went too crazy with the lighting . or maybe they’re really anemic . who knows

the outfit, jewelry, makeup, etc. are all basically the same as the canon design! only major changes i made were making both the boot designs match + gave them matching armbands/wristbands + gold horseshoes. who’s their farrier? idfk

i added a tiny boob window too for fun as i was making this so i guess that’s just part of my design now

the horns are meant to have a similar texture to crystals, like a kind of angular shape yk? put some pictures of quartz here just to give you an idea. also one horn is meant to be broken like in canon i just accidentally drew both of them that one time and didn’t notice until now. oops

#asks #everyone is permitted 2 cosplay my designs/take inspo from them for cosplay i might just love u forever if u do #no id #anyways i wish u and ur partners so much luck in creating ur cosplays!! have fun!!!#lmk if u have further questions or need the og concept art or any thing my dms are always open :-)

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pinervina · 2 years

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Unicorn coloring pages for kids

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This free color by number worksheet is a fun way to take the turn of a cute color by number worksheet and turn it into a magical color page that your children are sure to want to show off.ĭo not forget to add these fun Unicorn Cupcakesto your coloring sessions too. Color by number activity books or color by number coloring books is always great ways for kids ages 4-10 into coloring. They are a great way for kids of all ages and unicorn lovers to use their creativity and improve their fine motor skills. And nowadays, we could all use some of that innocence and magic. Small riders, children walking and jumping with a Unicorn or horse riding. Paints pictures of beautiful unicorns, and also precious ponies. Book for coloring, painting or drawing unicorns.

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Who does not love unicorns? Their magical abilities, that awesome horn, and their beautiful rainbow-colored mane are just a few of the reasons that unicorns totally rock.īoys and girls love to think about unicorns and their powers and find comfort in using their imagination to believe that unicorns actually exist. Download Unicorn & pegasus coloring pages Fantastic animals and enjoy it on your iPhone, iPad and iPod touch.

#Unicorn coloring pages for kids

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sexcell1 · 2 years

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How to draw a kawaii unicorn

1. Introduction: Want to learn how to draw a kawaii unicorn? This video is for you! The Kawaii Unicorn was launched to the entire world in 2014 and is widely noticed as a new design and style design that is attaining reputation amongst youthful ladies and women. What is most substantial about this unicorn is that it’s a one particular-of-a-sort design, a exclusive development. The unicorn itself is produced of four areas: the human body, the head, the legs, and the hooves. The components are arranged in an intricate sample that provides it an practically 3D search. This fashion is not your daily style craze it is a new sort of style that will be ongoing to evolve into even a lot more kawaii styles. We are confident that you will uncover one thing you can relate to or stand out inside of these patterns we hope you appreciate finding out how to draw a Kawaii Unicorn Type! 2. What You may Need to have: All you want is a piece of paper and anything to attract with. If you are questioning what in the globe a “kawaii girl” is, this submit will hopefully be able to support. I assure. All it takes is a piece of paper and some crayons or markers, but regardless of whether you are searching for a unicorn, cat or any other sweet animal drawing design, we have you lined with our selection of kawaii female drawings. kawaii clothing that we have shown listed here are cost-free to obtain and use! Just follow these methods to obtain and save them: 1. Go to our web site ( http://www.kawaii-drawings.com ) two. Click on on "Drawing" on the prime right corner of the page (the place it states "Browse" then simply click on "Drawing" again) 3. Simply click on any picture 4. Decide on your favored style (unicorn, cat, horse etc.) and click on on it 5. Save your drawing by clicking on the orange + icon at the bottom of the screen that says "Preserve Drawing as..." (You'll know when you've saved considering that the monitor will switch into a sq. a single) three. Stage by Phase Directions: Comply with together with the video and you are going to be drawing your personal kawaii unicorn in no time! Kawaii, the adorable and elegant anime female fashion, is the most well-known character style in Japan. A kawaii girl is a kid-like woman that has a sweet face and dimples. She is generally portrayed with curly hair and pink or pinkish-purple eyes. You can check out this type by pursuing these methods: Action one: Attract your unicorn's physique shape one.) Attract a rectangle in your artboard which is at least as extended as your unicorn’s human body length (on the right aspect of the photograph). two.) Use your pink circle to draw a circle all around this rectangle. three.) Use your pink sq. to attract an oval around this circle. 4.) Use your pink triangle to draw an oval all around the oval you just drew on leading of the circle you manufactured in Step one. 5.) Use your black dot to hook up all 4 corners of this oval. 4. Guidelines & Tips: Listed here are some additional tips and tips to aid you out. Kawaii is a Japanese term for sweet, and this is our consider on it — a sweet unicorn. Traditionally, unicorns are considered to be wonderful, stunning creatures with the horn of a horse. Traditionally they ended up imagined to be creatures from the land of Narnia and they have been stated to be magical creatures as properly as currently being very good pals with horses. Nonetheless, over time the notion of unicorns has been absorbed into Western tradition in diverse techniques which can make them much more relatable for non-Asian folks who are intrigued in Japanese lifestyle. In terms of drawing, a unicorn is not as simple as adhere figures — you must consider about two things when portray one: • The eyes: A bit like how you would attract people’s eyes if you want your character to search happy and enthusiastic then you require eyes that are huge and bright • The nose: The nostril (or nostrils) is in which the air passes by means of — this may well not be what’s intended by “unicorn” but it’s near adequate that we can use it listed here To attract illustrations like this a single you can use our free of charge on the internet unicorn tutorial generator listed here .

#kawaii clothes #kawaii #kawaii fashion

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fabrowrites · 4 years

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The Ninja Create Fursonas

Despite the title, no furries were harmed in the making of this fic

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When the announcement first comes through, Jay's thrilled. He can't believe it's real. It's like something out of a dream. When the day finally comes and they're on their way to the studio, he sits in the back seat and practically vibrates in place for the entire trip.

A hand settles on his thigh. "Settle down, Jay!" Cole says, laughing. "You're charging up enough energy to give us all static shocks for a week. Is your brain exploding? You're so jittery today."

"Of course I'm jittery," Jay snaps. "How are you not? This is like, the greatest thing that's ever happened to me."

This thing being- wanting to ride their latest wave of popularity after defeating the Preeminent (and Nadakhan, but apparently he didn't count- yes, Jay was salty), a toy-making company had approached the group and asked if perhaps they'd be interested in a line of stuffed toy creatures made after them? As if they'd say no. And if that wasn't enough, they also wanted the ninja to be the ones to design them.

Jay just might pass out in the back of this van.

They'd been escorted into a cozy-looking room with long tables and chairs and given giant pads of paper and black markers. The head artist gave them a rundown of guidelines- nothing scandalous, certainly; they should try to make each character cute, relatable, and most of all marketable- and oh, wouldn't it be neat if they each had something to do with their element?

Jay had agreed readily. He sized up the sketch pad in front of him and cracked his knuckles. Okay, brain. Let's do this.

Except that was forty-five minutes ago and Jay's no closer to an idea than when he began. He bangs his head against the table with a long, drawn-out groan. His sketch pad drops uselessly from his hands.

"It's no use," he whines. "I don't have a creative bone in my body. I'm gonna have to pack my bags and move to the south and become a repressed goat farmer."

Kai mumbles something that sounds suspiciously like "not a creative bone in my body my butt." But when Jay looks over at him, the fire ninja's attention is fixed firmly to his own board.

Blearily, Jay raises his head. Everything he's drawn looks like trash. There's a weird leopard creature scribbled out in the corner. Next to it is a lizard that looks like a cross between Rango and that purple thing from Monsters Inc except with none of their good qualities and all of their bad. A sad bird-thing sits in the center. It looks disappointed in him despite its lack of face. Maybe the blankness enhances it.

He drops his marker on the table and leans back with a long groan.

"It can't be all that bad," Nya says. She's bent over beside him, bottom lip caught between her teeth as she fills something in. Jay sighs without moving.

"I couldn't think of anything to draw so I started drawing Kai as a porcupine."

Nya whistles lowly. "That is bad," she says. Both of them ignore Kai's outraged shout of: "Hey! My face is the best inspiration you'll ever get!" She sets down her own pad, closing the cover. "Maybe if we show you what we've done, it'll inspire you."

"Or it'll just make me feel worse about myself," Jay grumbles, but he sits up in his seat properly. "Okay. Let's try that. Do you have anything?"

Nya shrugs the way she does when she's proud of something she did but doesn't want to call attention to it. "There was something I was working on." She flips open her sketchbook. Jay scoots his chair closer to hers. His eyes widen.

"Woah, Nya! That's actually really cool!"

"Actually?" Nya asks, raising her eyebrow, but she laughs when Jay pouts at her. "Oh, fine. Thanks. It's not much yet, but-"

The character on her paper is a seal, small and round, with dark eyes and a happy puppy face. At the edges of the sheet are more drawings- one has the seal in a wetsuit; another puts it in diver fins and a snorkel.

"I wanted to experiment around," Nya says. "I think I like the wetsuit one the best."

"That one's cute," Jay agrees.

From Nya's right side comes a groan. "Will you two keep it down?" Kai complains. "Some of us are trying to work here."

"Some of us are trying to work here too, but we can't," Jay sends back. Not one of his best comebacks, but it's to Kai. "I've got brain blockage and Nya's helping me out."

Kai glances over and sees what they're doing. He perks up. "Oh, are we sharing?" He sits up straighter and drums his fingers on the table. "Hey, guys! We're sharing!"

"Oh, good!" says Cole. "I wanted your feedback on something."

"Me too," says Zane.

Jay narrows his eyes at both of them. "This right now?" he says. "This is about me. Not you."

Cole waves his hand. "Of course, of course."

The way he says it has Jay hhmphing, but they both turn their focus to Kai as the fire ninja loudly demands their attention.

Kai has created what appears to be a horse, except that it has a few too many legs, a creepy tongue drooling out of its face, and horns. So it's actually not like a horse at all. Somehow it's both angular and blobby at the same time. Ah, the dualities of Art.

"I thought we were supposed to be making these marketable," Zane says with a tilt of his head.

"This is marketable!" Kai protests. "Kids are like, bonkers for dragons."

Ah, so that's what the blob is, Jay thinks. "Bonkers?" he snickers aloud. "What are you, seventy? Did you try cuckoo too? What about nutty?"

"Bananas," Lloyd pipes up. "Gaga. Buggy."

"Okay, okay, we get it," Kai grumbles. "You like to talk."

"That wasn't my point at all," Jay says, but he concedes it. He does like to talk, after all.

"Why does it have six legs?" asks Nya.

"Those are its wings," Kai sniffs.

Nya bursts out laughing, slapping her hand on her knee, eyes closed into crescents. "Hey!" Kai shouts, shoving her from her chair. "You know that drawing's not my real talent."

"Oh, we know," Cole says under his breath.

"Huh?"

"Nothing!" Cole grins. "I'll go next." He flicks back a page or two. "So I originally wanted to do a bear, because bears are cool and they're the deadliest animal on the planet."

"I'm pretty sure you meant to say 'shark'," Nya says.

"I'm pretty sure I said what I meant to say," Cole snips back. He returns his attention to his drawing board. "But bears are too overdone in this day and age."

Jay can't even make fun of him for saying 'this day and age' like some grandma because he's too busy currently gaping at the art on Cole's board.

The character on Cole's paper is definitely not a bear.

"Bears are overdone," Cole says. "So I thought, why not make a narwhal?"

"How on earth," Jay asks faintly, "did you make the jump from bear to narwhal?"

Cole shrugs. "It made sense at the time."

"What's a narwhal?" Lloyd asks. His marker is flying a mile a minute across his sketch pad and his eyes never leave the page.

"It's a unicorn fish," Jay says, turning a disbelieving eye back to the earth ninja. Cole just grins. "A unicorn fish that no one cares about. What happened to giving me inspiration?" he demands. "You've just killed any ideas I might have had!"

Cole pouts.

"I, for one, think it's adorable!" Nya's come up behind Cole now and is peering at his sketch pad. Hearing her words, Cole brightens. "Does it have a name?"

"I was thinking Gnarly."

Nya nods sagely. "That's uber-rad, bro."

Bring Me to Life is playing on a psychedelic loop inside Jay's head. Wake me up inside, wails the lead vocalist, but Jay can't wake up (save me).

"Am I the only one taking this seriously?" he whines. "Guys. This is like, our legacy."

"I'm pretty sure our legacy is saving the city," Kai drawls, "not whatever these characters will be."

"Our legacy," Jay emphasizes. "Don't you realize how cool this is? How many people get to say they have their own cartoon character?"

Cole shrugs. "Exactly. That's why I'm having fun with it. Hey, do you think that Gnarly would look good with a monocle?"

"I'm taking it seriously," Lloyd says. "Look at mine."

"Gnarly would look absolutely dapper in a monocle, how could you even ask that."

"How big is he?" asks Zane. "That would have to be one big piece of glass."

"Hey, guys."

"Ooh, you should give him a mohawk."

"A mohawk? He's a fish! Fish don't have hair!"

"I'm pretty sure it's a mammal, actually."

An explosion rockets the left side of the room. Jay startles so badly he almost falls out of his chair. His eyes dart around for the threat, only to lock eyes with a smirking Lloyd. A smirking Lloyd who still has his fist raised, faint wisps of smoke rising from his fingers.

Jay lets out an inhuman shriek. It's a wonder that no one's come in to check on them, honestly. "Lloyd!"

"What?" Lloyd grins. "You weren't paying attention to me."

"We've raised a brat," Cole says. "An absolute menace."

Lloyd's grin intensifies. "As I was saying…"

He spins his board around with all the pomp and circumstance of a ten-year-old who learned how to act through daytime television. Somehow, despite them only having been given black sharpie markers to draw with, Lloyd has colored his character in with crayon. It's a shockingly detailed goat-creature. Its fur has been colored a mint green, and it's wearing a golden sweater with dragons crossing the sides.

It looks like it was ripped from the pages of an actual comic book.

"Woah!" Kai says, launching himself across the table and sending no less than three markers flying as he goes in for a closer look. "That's awesome, Lloyd!" He beams at the younger ninja. "What is it?"

Nya scoffs. "Obviously it's an alpaca, you dolt."

"It's a yak," Cole says.

Jay makes a disagreeing noise. "No, I'm pretty sure it's a goat."

"Guys," Lloyd says, looking extremely disappointed in all of them, "it's a llama."

They sit in silence for a moment.

"Ooh," Jay says. "Alright. That makes a bit more sense."

"Is it my turn?" Zane asks. Unlike some other members whose names shall not be mentioned, he waits until their attention is on him before starting. "I put a lot of thought into this character."

He turns around his paper. Jay chokes on his water. Tears stream from his eyes and he's coughing, but when he wipes them away the picture stays the same.

In the middle of the page, in the glorious high definition only a nindroid could hope to achieve, is a shark that looks like it came right out of some Super Bowl halftime slot. Its eyes are vacant. Its mouth is open in an agonized scream. It's standing in a starfish pose, legs in lieu of a tail.

"My character is a shark," Zane says, as if it needed any explanation.

Everyone stops and looks at him. Zane's the picture of earnestness, eyes wide and unguarded. At this exact moment, he looks like a five-year-old presenting some horrific drawing to its mother. As the silence stretches on, his face falls. "Is it not on target enough? I know we were supposed to be making something related to our element, but there are not that many snow creatures."

The group glances at each other, expressions veering towards the panicked side. By some unspoken agreement, they all reach the same conclusion.

"Oh, no!" says Nya. "We were all just surprised by how good you draw."

"It's a great shark, Zane," Cole says, tone a bit forced. The expression in his eyes doesn't match the grin on his face.

"Yeah," Jay says lamely. "I like how- how blue it is."

Zane beams.

"It looks like you're well on your way!" says a new voice. It's the head artist, coming back into the room. She looks around approvingly at the studio of chaos. "Well done. I knew I heard the sounds of productivity in here."

Apparently productivity sounds like random explosions and screaming now. That's- honestly not that far off the mark, considering that Jay's a literal ninja for his job.

"The next step, if you haven't already," says the artist, "will be coming up with names." Cole high-fives Nya. "I'll be back in a bit to check on you again!"

The room descends into voices once again as she leaves.

"I need a cool name for my dragon," Kai says immediately. "There's got to be a way to combine my name with it, right?"

"Kragon," Cole suggests. "Drakai."

Kai wrinkles his nose. "Kragon? Like that weirdo from the LEGO line?"

"No, you're thinking of Cragger," Lloyd says. "Kragon is that magical crystal thing Jedi use."

Jay rolls his eyes. "No, that's a kyber. Didn't I raise you better than this? Kragon is that website that people sell stuff on."

"No, that's Craigslist."

"Whatever it is," Kai interrupts, "I don't like it. So you nerds can all drop it now."

"I think I'll call mine Neela," Nya says.

Cole glances at her sketchpad and makes a noise of approval. "Neela and Gnarly," he says. "Hey! Ours could be best friends!"

"You're already coming up with backstory?" Jay protests. "I haven't even started my character!"

"Well stop whining and just make one!" Cole says, exasperated.

Jay pouts. At the other end of the table, Lloyd's cackling up a storm as he writes name after name down the side of his paper. Jay leans over to see: his favorites seem to be Llod, Llyod, and Floyd judging on the circles he's made around them.

Jay sighs and leans back in his seat. Nya's abandoned her spot beside him to go brainstorm with Cole, and Kai's still tossing ideas out to the group even though no one's listening to him.

"Ooh, what about Kaitron?"

"That just sounds like a robot," Jay complains. Inspiration cuts through the cloud of his mind like a knife. "That's it!"

The entire room stops and stares at him. Seeing that he's just stood abruptly and slammed his sketch pad against the table, Jay can't blame them. "Kai," he says, "you're a genius." As quickly as he stood he's seated again, turning over a new page and beginning to sketch.

"I'm a what?" Kai asks, somewhere in the background.

Jay outlines a triangular shape. Then a body with one big wheel instead of legs. He fills up his page with sketches, mind vomiting up ideas faster than he can put them on paper. Yes. Yes! This was exactly what he wanted!

"Everyone!" he says- practically demands their attention. He rips the top sheet off his sketchpad with a flourish. "Meet NJ, your friendly little shapeshifting robot friend! The double emphasis on friendliness means that it's full of love."

"Shapeshifting?" Lloyd asks. "Woah, that's neat!"

Jay nods, grinning. "He can turn into anything, as long as it's non-organic." He points out some sketches of NJ as a toaster, as a spy drone, as an umbrella.

"That's- actually a cool idea, Jay," Cole says. "I like it!"

"Hey!" Jay protests. "Are you telling me that all my other ideas aren't cool?"

Cole grins. "You said it first," he points out.

"Kriff!" shouts Kai. For a second Jay thinks the fire ninja is swearing, but it turns out he's talking to his dragon. "Perfect name. Done."

The head artist chooses this moment to re-enter the room. She beams when she sees all their sketchpads laid out. "Looking good, everyone! Do you all have designs now?" They nod. "Great. Well, our next step will be for each of you working with our on-location artists to better flesh out your concepts. Oh, and then backstories!" She grins. "I'll go call them in."

She leaves. Kai stares at his paper. "I hope my artist likes challenges," he finally says.

#ninjago #ninjago fic #ninjago fanfic #based on the making of bt21 videos #this is so chaotic

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rosesisupposes · 5 years

Note

Hey I saw you were offering fluff and I'm a hoe for Prinxiety, only if you feel motivated too though! Love your writing xxx

So, this may not be what you meant, but… I watched The Unicorn Store the other day and I loved it, and one of the characters’ names was literally Virgil. So in a slight mix-and-matched fashion, here’s that :D

The Store

Pairings: Prinxiety, Moceit (Paternal Royality, Paternal Roceit); brief moment of analogical if you squint.

Warnings: Self-doubt, reference to possible hallucinations; reference to abuse and miscarriage; also, minimal editing

Word Count: much longer than intended 4,434 words

Read on ao3

Roman, dearest Roman, grew up with a deep love for unicorns, and rainbows, and all things glitter. His imagination let him have wild and beautiful adventures with his pet unicorn. His name was Steve.

He drew him, over and over, hoping that if he just nailed it perfectly, his parents would understand, and finally see himBut while Pat and Dee indulged his stories and encouraged his art, it was clear they’d never really understand.

They did send him to art school though

He wanted to love it, wanted to meet all those people who thought like him, who saw the world like him

Unfortunately what he found was a mentor who’s best-known work was a photography series called Stick in a Box

In the final evaluation, they were asked to make a self-portrait

Roman’s classmates had beautifully composed but tiny charcoal drawings of themselves, lined up in neat 8.5x11 boxes

Roman’s drawing was technically perfect, too. But it was a charcoal of a unicorn on a hill, surrounded with stripes of purple, yellow, pink, green, red that stretched off the box, off the canvas, and onto the wall itself. As a final touch, he said a wish to himself and blew on glitter

Unfortunately, his mentor was… unimpressed. And Roman became an art school dropout, back in his dads’ house, shifted to the basement because his room had become a home gym

His dads were still supportive, though. They knew he’d bounce back. But it didn’t always help when they’d talk about “now that you’ve tried that” and “finding a new path”

Also, they kept bringing over their neighbor, Emile, who was Roman’s age. Emile has just started working with them at their retreat service for troubled and at-risk teens. And it’s not that Roman didn’t like Emile, it just felt like… they were prouder of him than their son the failure.

Okay, maybe Roman did dislike Emile.

So in a fit of… jealousy? Desperation? Roman announces he’s joining a temp agency. He’s going to have an office job. So, Dad, Papa, please make sure to purchase plenty of pens and graph paper as he will need them now. He even borrows Pat’s old office clothes. A bit outdated perhaps, but he’s professional now.

He starts at the ad agency/communications firm and damn does he look the part, he’s sure. Even if his work is boring. Even if the people are very caught up in very small concerns.

In the middle of the very, very beige cubicles, and the very, very dull conversations, Roman finds a letter. It has his name on it, spelled in glitter and rhinestones. And it invites him to The Store.

But he’s… he’s being professional now. He’s a businessman. He doesn’t care about frivolity like glitter. Right?

When the second letter arrives, still with his name, still with the same address, still with no signature… well, it might not be smart but he can’t help it

He goes to the address to find a lone, flickering neon sign that says The Store. He walks in to an elevator that has no buttons, but descends on its own. He walks through a pink-lit hallway to a curtain of rainbows, and finally emerges into a grand old room that’s been…. transformed.

On one side: a gate closes off a clear space. On the other: several grand tables are arranged with fruit and hay bales. The back wall has a long bar and freezers of ice cream. And in the middle, a man stands with a slight smile and adjusts his bright purple tie and the shiny satin matching suit jacket.

“Welcome, Roman!”

“How do you know my name?”

“I’ve been expecting you, of course. Though you are late, by several days. It’s rather impolite not to respond to an invitation immediately, you know.”

“What is this place?”

“It’s the Store. And I am the Salesman.” Roman notices what definitely looks like long strings of tinsel in the man’s dark hair.

“What kind of store?”

“The kind that sells that and only that which you need”

“Which is?”

“Roman, don’t be ridiculous. You know what it is. You’ve known your whole life.”

The Salesman flicks on the huge screen above the door. Footage of graceful horses under rainbows, horses in meadows, horses sleeping… except they all have a beautiful, spiral horn in their foreheads.

“Unicorns?! You have real, actual unicorns?”

“Yes we do. And I contacted you specifically to make you this offer: we have a unicorn, just for you.”

Roman starts to tear up. "Really? You do? For me? I was right, all this time? Oh my goodness, can i see her? Him? Them? Do unicorns have genders?“

“They do, if they want them. Yours isn’t here yet: you need to prove you’ll take good care of them first. A unicorn isn’t just a pet, you know. They’re a commitment. They will love you forever. Can you keep one safe forever?”

“I think I can,” Roman responds, though he’s still jittery and very glittery.

“Excellent! Here’s the first requirement, then,” the Salesman responds. He pulls out a shiny folder. In it is a description of “Sheltering and Feeding Your Unicorn”

“Do you have space to accommodate a unicorn? Can you feed one? To qualify for unicorn ownership, you must first demonstrate that you’re able to provide for them.”

Roman thinks of his basement room with a wince. “Uh, not yet. But I will!”

“And can you demonstrate that you’re stably employed, able to continue providing?”

“I will do that too.”

He heads off in a whirlwind of giddy and righteous energy. He’s getting a unicorn. He’ll do whatever it takes!

First stop is the hardware store. He finds a man in the lumber section.

“Hello good sir! I am in the market for lumber.”

“Whatcha building.”

“A stable.”

“How big’s the horse?”

“Uh, not quite a horse, but um. Bigger than a pony, but you know, they can probably become whatever size I need them to be. Um, just your average small horse, I suppose?”

“Where you buildin’ it?”

“My bedroom”

The man stares, then picks up his radio. “Virgil, please report to the lumber department.”

“Will he be able to help me?”

The man doesn’t answer, just rolls his eyes and walks off

Roman wanders until he finds the worker with the nametag “Virgil”

“So, are you the builder?”

“Uh, what?”

“The man said you could help me.”

“Yeahhh, he definitely just said that to fuck with me. I’m not really a carpenter, I just do stock.”

“Well, you know more about it than me! Maybe you could try?”

Virgil stares down at Roman earnest smile, then finally sighs. “I mean, I’m gonna get paid, right? Might as well.”

He’s then the first to point out that Roman’s… ‘pony’ won’t want to live in his basement.

But in the backyard, there’s the slightly-rotted ruins of Roman’s childhood castle. It’s not structurally sound, but the space is good. And maybe some of the wood is salvageable. Roman starts kicking in the walls for good measure, and Virgil, with a strange fascination bordering on entertainment, joins in at his urging.

The hardest part is keeping his parents from asking about Virgil’s visits. Roman is very tired of being reminded that among his many failings, he doesn’t even have a partner. And the eagerness with which Dad and Papa ask about the ‘young man’’ who keeps visiting kinda makes it obvious they hope that’s why. In Pat and Dee’s defense, they’re not trying to be pushy. They just saw the conspiratorial smiles Roman kept flashing Virgil, and the bemused but amused smiles Virgil returned.

But Roman’s getting a unicorn. Who needs a boyfriend when the unicorn will love him more than any human ever could or has.

Roman returns to The Store. “I’m building a stable, and I have an appointment to go buy hay. What’s next?”

“Ah, good. Now that you’re building a home worthy of a unicorn, you need to ensure the full environment is appropriate. Here, hold this.”

The Salesman hands Roman a spiraled cone. It feels like ivory, but is far too heavy.

“Is this…?”

“Yes, a horn. They’re fragile creatures, but the weight of caring from one is all too real. Will your unicorn be surrounded by support and love? Is there a healthy family environment for them to come home to?”

Roman realizes that he’s not been on… particularly good terms with his dads. And it’s probably not all their fault. So he volunteers to join a weekend retreat: rafting and camping with the kids. And Dad, and Papa. And Emile

If there’s one thing Roman can say for Emile, it’s that he’s a really great trier. He’s not particularly good at paddling. He volunteers to pitch a tent on his own and…. Well. It got up eventually.

Roman’s helping two of the teens assemble their own tent when Pat calls out to get ready for Truth Circle. The girls snort under their breath but call back to say they’re coming.

“What’s truth circle?”

“Ugh, it’s so lame. It’s going around and sharing and they want it to be some deep shit. But I make up something every time and they can’t tell.”

True to her word, the young woman, sitting around the campfire, tells a tearful story of how her mom cut up all her tube tops and she just misses them, so much. A young man says he’s "so tired of assumptions just because i like loud music, and like knives, doesn’t mean i’m gonna attack my English teacher! I like my English teacher."

To each pronouncement, Pat and Dee nod seriously, occasionally offering "Thank you” and “Good share”

Roman just feels worse and worse, knowing that all of these kids are probably laughing at his dads on the inside, so when they ask if he’d like to share anything…

“I’ve been working really hard lately, trying to improve my life,” he starts, and Pat and Dee are beaming, holding hands. “I really want to make it all worth it, you know? Because growing up, people kept wanting to not play with me, and every birthday I wished for the same thing: someone to love me, unconditionally. And I know I’ve been flighty, and selfish, but I’m finally at a turning point where all my hard work feels worth it. And It’s because I’m finally about to get the one thing I’ve always wanted: a unicorn.”

His dads’ faces drop. “Uh, kiddos, we’re gonna have a quick lil mini family circle over here, okay? Emile, you want to lead some campfire songs?”

Pat is the first to speak. "Ro, I was so happy when you told us you wanted to come, but this is just rude. This weekend is for the kids, why can’t you pretend to take it seriously?”

Dee puts a calming hand on Pat’s shoulder. “Roro, your dad’s right. If you wanted to make jabs at us for not getting you a puppy, you could have done that at home.”

Roman tries to explain. “No, I mean it, I’m working on getting one. I’m making a good home for it and everything. I wouldn’t lie about this!”

“Oh, and you didn’t lie about 'Steve’ eating all the cotton candy all those years?”

“That doesn’t count, I was a child!”

“And yet you’re still acting like one”

Roman is practically crying with frustration. “You know they’re the ones lying, right?” he whisper-screams. “All those kids. Just making up whatever bullshit they think you’ll accept. And I sit here, actually telling the truth, and you don’t believe me!”

Dee sighs. “We know they lie, Ro. Of course they do. Her mom beats her,” he gestures with his head to a girl. “His father passed away suddenly. Xe had a miscarriage. They just got out of an emotionally abusive relationship. They all lie, outrageously, and then suddenly one day they’re telling the truth because they trust that now no one will believe them when they’re actually vulnerable. But we know, and we’re there when they do.”

“Is that the problem?” Pat asks softly. “Were we just bad enough parents that you’re doing the same thing to us?”

“No, of course not!” Roman insists. He’s properly crying now. “I’m trying to tell you…” He trails off, seeing their disbelief. “Fine. I’ll just… go. You guys can adopt Emile instead.”

In the background, Emile pops his head up. “Did someone call me?”

All three shout back, “NO!”

Roman stares at his dads for another moment, helplessly, then stomps off.

He fucked up. Now there won’t be a loving family environment. Now he’ll never get his unicorn.

He gets home and glares at the rainbows and Care Bears and streamers in his room, then starts bagging them up. All of them. All of the old drawings, and paints, and especially the glitter. Plus the hay he’d lovingly dyed rainbow, and the huge amount of carrots.

He throws them all in bags and goes to toss them in the backyard, when he can no longer hold it back and starts to cry. All these hopes he’d been building. All his childhood dreams coming true. All for nothing.

He hides in the grey basement all weekend, staring at the dumb assignment about a dumb vacuum for his dumb job. He was urged to make a pitch for the ad campaign, unless he wants to stay a temp forever. And even if he can’t get his unicorn, he’d like to create something again. But a vacuum? a “mystic” vacuum? What even is that.

On Sunday afternoon, he hears power tools from the backyard, and drags himself outside to tell Virgil he can stop working on the dumb stable now. But Virgil hasn’t just finished the stable. He’s decorated.

And it is an explosion of color.

“Oh my goodness gracious,” he breathes, looking at all the rainbows painted up and down the walls. Drawings are pasted all around, with strings of tinsel everywhere. “Are these… my drawings?”

“Uh, yeah, you put all the materials out here, isn’t that why?”

“Did I put all these in those bags?”

“Well, no- your dads saw what I was doing and brought out their favorites of your art to add”

“They… like my art? But it’s all the unicorns, I thought…”

He brushes away a tear. His original drawing of Steve is here, a big red heart with a very spiky stick figure. And so is his high school masterpiece, a photorealistic unicorn rearing in the sunset.

Virgil scuffs a sneaker against the ground. Like the stable, he’s a little technicolor, splats of paint on his pants and shoes and face. “Do you like it?”

“Like it?”

“I… you made an art show of me. Of all I’ve done over the years. And you didn’t give up on this ridiculous project. Thank you, Virgil. I love it.” He stares, and suddenly grins. “Hey, any chance there’s some glitter left over? I have an idea.”

He prepares a gorgeous, glitter-filled presentation for the damn vacuum, and even makes it a demonstration of how well it works in one go. It’s the Mystic Vacuum. It’s dreams coming true. It’s an experience.

But the working world does not care if employees are going through a coming-of-age realization. Cubicles are immune to your thinking-outside-the-box thinking. The 'safe’ presentation of terribly restricted gender norms gets the ad.

He comes home, a little crushed, but Pat’s there waiting for him.

“Papa, I fucked up. Again. I just… really suck at being a grown-up”

“Did you go for it, though? Did you try?”

“..yeah”

“Did you care about doing it?”

“…yeah”

“Then you’re doing great, kiddo. The most grown-up thing you can do is fail at something you care about.”

Roman sniffs, and hugs Patton tightly. “Thanks, Pop Star”

“Now, do you want to hear what Emile did?”

Roman struggles for a moment. “I’m trying very hard to be grown-up, but I really don’t.”

“No trust me. You do.”

Roman eyes him warily.

"When we were coming back from the campsite, he got tangled up in his own life jacket. And fell into the water because of it.”

“…really?”

“Mmmhmm. And… I may have taken longer than I should have to get him out because I had to not be laughing when I pulled him back into the boat.”

Roman chuckles, then laughs, and Pat’s laughing too.

And suddenly, Roman notices something.

“What are those on the wall? Are those my paintings?”

“Oh those? Yesirree!”

“Did you just put them up?”

“Of course not. They’ve been up since you sent them home in freshman year, sweetie.”

“…you didn’t help Virgil just because you felt bad?”

“Oh honey, no. We’ve always loved your art.” Patton ruffles his hair. “We just want you to be happy.”

Thanks to Pat, Roman shakes off his setback, and when he sees a call from Virgil, he picks up eagerly. They go out for dinner, Roman still in his glitter from the presentation. And it is… wonderful. Virgil is sarcastic and witty, and only ever seems to mock Roman with the same level of skepticism he gives literally everyone else.

Until he finally asks, “So, now that it’s done, when are you getting the pony?That’s the big secret, right, you’re actually buying a pony?"

And Roman smiles and says, "Almost.”

“You see, I’m getting a unicorn.”

And Virgil stares a moment. Then he cracks a smile. “Cute, I get it. Like the pictures.”

“No, for real!” Roman tells him. “I’ve been working on this so that I can get a unicorn. I mean, I don’t know if I’m back in the running, but I think I fixed the family environment too so, hopefully.”

And now Virgil goes still. He’s concerned.

“Um. So, where is this unicorn coming from?”

“The Unicorn Store,” Roman responds matter-of-factly.

“Uh-huh,” Virgil nods slowly. “And that’s definitely a real place.”

“Yeah, I’ve been there several times. It’s lovely, and the Salesman is wild.”

Virgil’s eyes are a little bit bugging out of his head now. "The Salesman?”

“Yeah, he gave me the steps I need to get my unicorn. Place to live, nice environment, prove i can support them, you know. Like pet adoption, but better.”

“You gave him your financial information? Ro, I know you’re really excited but… this sounds like a scam.”

“Why does no one believe me? It’s real, I swear. There’s even a hay-staurant.”

“…you say you’ve been there? Can I come see?”

“I don’t see why not”

But when they get there, nothing seems right. The entryway sign is gone. The elevator still moves, but it doesn’t open to a pink hallway. And in the room… the decorations are gone. The Salesman isn’t there. The screen is missing. And Roman… starts to doubt. Virgil isn’t surprised, but he’s worried. Roman looks so heartbroken… did he really believe in this? A grown man, thinking he’d actually get a unicorn?

“Ro, we should go. If you need help making sure that guy hasn’t used your info to, I don’t know, buy random things, withdrawing money… I can help.”

“No,” Roman insists. “No, he’ll be back. I’ll stay.”

“Roman, c'mon, don’t do this…”

“I know what I saw!” he shouts. “It was real!”

“I don’t doubt he did a great job with the showmanship, Ro. I believe you. But he’s clearly gone now, and… it might be time to assume he’s not coming back.”

Roman doesn’t turn, and Virgil sighs. He keeps hoping Roman will relent, but if there’s one thing he’s already learned about this man, it’s that he’s stubborn. So he leaves alone. And Roman waits until he hears the elevator leave to break down.

Virgil, walking out, feels something in his shoe. He checks - it’s hay. Rainbow hay. But he expected that - it was a scam, right? A well-done scam. He walks on.

Roman goes home and finds himself just sitting in the stable, dejectedly. It’s so lovely, and it made him so happy but… He knew he was a daydreamer. Had he really fallen for such a ridiculous thing?

Dee and Pat find him together, and sit with him in the stable.

“It’s really well built,” Pat comments.

“And your art is lovely,” Dee says, fondly tracing a unicorn horn on the wall.

Roman sniffs. “It’s just a catalog of mania at this point. My slow descent into madness.”

Dee hugs him around the shoulders. “Roberry, you’re not crazy. You have a spark that is just… so unique. No one could hope to match the way you view the world. Hell, even I can’t. Neither can your Papa. But that doesn’t mean you’re wrong. It means we’re just limited.”

“Is this some of that feel-d trip stuff you tell the troubled teens?”

Dee grins. “Nah, they never believe the sappy shit. This is just for you.”

Roman wipes his eyes. “I’m sorry I’m such a disappointment.”

Dee and Pat object in one voice.

Dee continues, “Hun, you are so loved. By us, by the people who meet you… You’re joy, Roman. You remind people of joy.”

“And that boy seems to really like you, too.”

Roman groans. “He definitely thinks I’m crazy.”

“Give him a chance, okay?” Pat asks, patting Roman’s shoulder. “He might surprise you.”

“He built this, didn’t he?” Dee asks, gesturing around. “He’s gotta like you at least a little.”

The next day, Roman goes back to the hardware store, looking for him. He searches every department, and all the back rooms he can sneak into, but nothing. No Virgil. He ends up sitting in the backyard, glaring at the stable, but still… hoping.

He’s interrupted one day by a very tentative knock on the back gate. And Virgil comes out, looking sheepish.

“Hey, sorry, I didn’t mean to disappear…”

“I was looking for you at the hardware store?”

“I got transferred, actually. Turns out having a full construction project to my name means your boy got promoted. I’m… sorry, about the store. I shouldn’t have left you so abruptly.”

“It’s okay. And congrats.”

Virgil sits in the stable next to Roman, and smiles when Roman leans over on his shoulder.

He’s about to suggest they get coffee when Roman’s phone starts ringing.

“Hello?”

“Congratulations, Roman! He’s arrived!”

“Who is this? Who’s arrived?”

“The Salesman, of course. And your unicorn. He is here in the store, waiting for you.”

Virgil stares at the phone. “That’s him?” he mutters. “Here, if he’s a scammer, let me talk to him, okay?”

“I… you’re sure? He’s there?” Roman asks. His heart is in his throat. What if it really all had been true? What if Virgil scares him away? “I came by, and you were gone…”

“We don’t set up the full store for just anyone, Roman. It’s not for him. It’s just for you. But you need to let me know if you’re serious about this unicorn. If you don’t want him, there’s a woman who’s qualified who needs him just as much.”

“I’m coming!” Roman interjects. “Don’t give him away, please! I’ll be there as soon as I can!”

He jumps up and is practically sprinting to the car, Virgil barely able to keep up.

“Roman, can I at least come with?”

“Yes, sure, just don’t tell me not to go,” Roman says, practically vibrating with excitement.

The decorations aren’t fully back, but the sign outside is, at least. They descend through the elevator, and this time… the hall isn’t empty.

“Ah, Roman! You made it! And I see you brought… a companion,” the Salesman says, eyeing Virgil suspiciously. “He will, of course, have to stay out here while you meet him.”

“He’s really here?” Roman asks breathlessly. “My…?”

“Your unicorn, yes. I called you to say so, did I not? He’s right through those doors.”

“And I can meet him?”

“Yes, of course. You don’t have to take him home - as I said, another woman also needs him if you don’t want to anymore”

Virgil outright staring at the Salesman’s outfit. It’s blue today, all satin and rhinestones and tinsel. But still with a nicely-tied tie. The Salesman looks back, and adjusts his glasses. “Salutations.”

Roman approaches the doorway slowly, and eases it open. Rainbows spill out as he walks in, letting the door close behind him.

He is…. beautiful.

He’s there, in real life. A huge, graceful horse with a pearl horn and a shimmery mane. He wickers at Roman’s approach.

“Hi,” Roman breathes. “You’re… oh my god, you’re here. It’s Mr. Unicorn, right? Do you care?”

The creature nods.

Roman feels tears rolling down his cheeks as he reaches out a gentle hand to caress the beautiful thing’s nose.

“I’ve waited for you for so long. I wished for you every birthday. I would close my eyes and think 'send me someone to love me, unconditionally, for me.’" He smiles wetly. "I called you Steve.”

“And I… I worried so badly that you weren’t real, because I needed you to be real. I needed you to really, really love me. But…” Roman looks into a pair of soft brown eyes, huge and understanding. They feel… familiar.

“But I can’t bring you home with me. Because there’s a woman out there who needs you more than I do. And you are going to love her, okay? You’re going to love her and support her, and never judge her dreams. You’re going to make sure she knows you love her. And… and you make sure she never feels alone, okay?”

The unicorn nods, and nuzzles Roman’s chest. He wipes his eyes. “I’m going to hug you now, is that okay?” Another nod.

Roman throws his arms around the equine neck, breathing in the strange mix of lavender and sugar and sunlight that is the unicorn’s scent. A hair from the mane gets stuck to him, and easily breaks off. He tries to give it back, but the unicorn shakes his head. A memento. Just for him.

He turns to go, and sees the Salesman has entered, and brought Virgil with him. Virgil is staring, open-mouthed.

“Mr. The Salesman- I can’t take him. Please give him to the woman you mentioned, okay? She earned it, right?”

“She did. And since you no longer are a client, you can just call me Logan.”

Roman wipes his eyes, but holds tight to the single hair. “As long as he’s happy.”

“Will you be?” Logan asks. His face doesn’t betray any emotion.

Roman walks to Virgil’s side, and takes his hand. “Yeah, I think I will.”

fin

taglist: @residentanchor @royally-anxious @bewarethegrammarpolice @jemthebookworm @arandompasserby @sparkly-rainbow-salt @astral-eclipse @thelowlysatsuma @adorably-angsty @max-is-tired @almostoveranalyzed

#Roses Writes Fanfic #the unicorn store #platonic prinxiety #roman-centric <3 #romangst #moceit #paternal royality #parternal roceit #roman sanders appreciation #roman sanders #ts deceit #deceit sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders #logan sanders #it's important to me that you know i didn't change virgil's name from the movie

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othercat2 · 6 years

Text

Fic: Build a Life from Scratch 1/?

In which Bro has an existential crisis, the Grand Highblood is in the middle of having a Crisis of Faith and the Demoness is going to cut the next bitch who calls her “Handmaid.”

Clan of the Cave Hobbits

So, the first thing is, you wake up. Starting a story with someone waking up is a cliché. It’s not a thing you’re supposed to do. But this is you. Waking up and blinking at the sunlight between the trees. You are lying on the ground, which feels soft and damp. At ground level are ferns, various shrubberies, mosses and flowers. You don’t know the names of anything you’re looking at. The trees are not easy trees; maple, or oak. They are definitely deciduous though, and the climate is temperate (as far as you can tell from ironically watched nature programs).

You are as naked as some short asshole in a fantasy novel where citizenship means you can wear clothes.

Your head is empty.

You have to think about the latter for a moment. And maybe the former, because well, naked in the middle of a mysterious forest. This is generally a thing that happens in certain fantasy novels you may have read when you were a kid in your favorite foster home. (Not that you’d ever admit it out loud since that foster home also involved getting dragged to church every Sunday. Also, Pam kept trying to get you to give up Cal.) You will go to great lengths for talking unicorns, horses, and bizarre sexual interactions. The games may have also piqued your interest in the series.

You’re wandering in your head, and nothing is pulling you back to the subject, which is naked, in the middle of nowhere.

You sit up slowly, taking stock. You are entirely in one piece, no scars, and your hands free of calluses. (You remember being run through with a sword, the knowledge everything had fallen apart, the thing in your head snarling.) And your head is completely empty. And Cal is nowhere in sight.

Your chest tightens and you fold up, you feel hot and sick, sweat sheening your arms, sliding down your back. Cal is gone and your head is empty. You think you’re maybe going to throw up, but there’s nothing to throw up so you just gag on acid and try to breathe while it feels like your gut has turned into a nest of snakes. Your face is wet with sweat or tears and you rock back and forth for a while.

The moment passes, the feeling of sickness fades. Vague thoughts surface: the kid, where was the kid? There was a kid, right? The kid and the weird floating bird kid who tried to help you against the chessman-bird-dog-thing. You think of Texas summer heat and the roof. And you think about the kid.

(You think about Pam frowning over the lack of food, the lack of safety and security. Pam is long dead and wouldn’t understand what you were trying to accomplish. Wouldn’t understand the game that would render everything she believed in irrelevant. You don’t know why you’re thinking of her. You haven’t thought about her in years, but now you can almost see her; a short, round woman with thinning hair going gray at the temples. She’d had brown eyes.)

Where was Cal? Why does your head feel empty?

Your stomach also feels empty, and you aren’t sure what’s safe to eat around here. You rise up on legs that feel shakier than they should. The ground is uneven, but you try to walk. The undergrowth prickles against your skin, and you hope you aren’t brushing through the equivalent of poison ivy or sumac. There’s insects and birds, and the occasional fast, bounding shape heading away from your presence.

(You are more than a little worried about predators, and about lacking any kind of protection from same.)

Downhill leads you to the sound of water and the thirst that had been burning away at you for the past however many miles makes you hurry toward the sound. When you reach the bank of the stream you drop down to your knees. You’re about to scoop up a double handful of water when someone throws a fucking rock at you. It hits you in the back and you yelp, whirling around.

There’s a girl. Something like a girl standing a few yards away. She’s tall, has gray skin, huge curling horns that look too big for her to be standing under their weight. She has short black curly hair that looks like it had been mostly hacked off with a knife and dark eyes--you’re too far away to make out their color as anything other than dark. She’s wearing a leather skirt and tunic that has a feeling that’s more functional than sexy. There’s a bundle of some kind at her feet.

“What the fuck?” is the only thing that comes to mind to say.

“I should say that,” the girl says. Sort of says. Under the words you’re hearing in English are words in some other language you don’t know. “You want to be sick, go ahead and drink, foul yourself from both ends.” She smiles like a razor.

“Water’s clear?”

“Upstream a big prey beast fell in the water, too big for hunter beasts or carrion beasts to carry off easily. It rotted and sent foulness downstream. You drank and then gut pains started. You took fever and saw shit and broke your head falling down.” She says it not like it’s something she’s predicting, but like she’s telling you that this is something that already happened.

The realization is somehow more disturbing than anything else at the moment. “Well aren’t you a Good Samaritan,” you say slowly. “Think you coulda told me instead of throwing a rock?”

“No,” the girl says, smiling like she thinks she’s said something that’s fucking hilarious. You would definitely beg to differ on that. She picks up the bundle at her feet and tosses it gently toward you. It lands about a foot away. It’s a bundle of leather. You stoop to pick it up and find it’s a leather skirt and tunic like the one the girl’s wearing, and an honest to god flint knife. The blade’s about six inches long, and the hilt is wrapped in a leather cord. “Use ties,” she says, showing you a place in the waistband of her skirt that has a “ties” and a flint knife similar to yours held in place by them.

“Okay.” So the skirt ties off with a leather cord draw string. There are ties in the waist band for apparently knives and you think maybe also pouches or something. The tunic sleeves end at about the elbow, and it laces up the front with more leather cord. No shoes are included in the ensemble, and you can see that the girl isn’t wearing any.

“Come with me,” she says.

“Sure why don’t I follow the mysterious gray demon lady off into the unknown,” you say, even though you don’t have a lot of--any--options right now.

“You have somewhere else to go?” She asks, and heads off into the woods.

At a loss for anything else to do, you follow her. Up close her eyes are a warm garnet red and her sclera area gold yellow. It turns out she has a waterskin. The water is warm and tastes like ass, but is hopefully free of anything that sounds like dysentery from hell. You try to hand it back to her, but she lets you--makes you--keep it.

You walk, and the sunlight above the trees shifts considerably. Your feet hurt, your legs hurt, and you go uphill and then downhill at least three times, and then turn something like a bend that opens up into a clearing. The ground dips down and then back up again, and where it comes back up there’s something like a roof sticking out of a hill. Near the house is a garden, and what’s either a well or a cistern. “You’re kind of tall to be a fucking hobbit,” you tell the girl.

“Sleep under trees, if you don’t like,” she says, and heads down to her house.

You follow, because you might as well, having gone this far. The door is pretty big, so is the actual house. As you get closer, you realize food is being cooked, and you are even hungrier than you were when you first woke up.

The girl opens the door to her house and ducks inside, saying something loud that’s just a buzz in your ears. When you follow after her you have a moment of disorientation because there are two girls, absolutely identical standing by a fire pit in the center of the room. Then there’s just one girl. “Of course leave me to explain to the stupid clown,” the girl says glaring that the space formerly occupied by the other girl.

“Hard crowd tonight,” you say.

“Not you,” the girl says. She tilts her head deeper into the house. “Stupid high blood clown.”

This doesn’t explain a lot. The room’s lit by the fire in the pit, and the room is ventilated by the smoke hole and what look like a wicker grille covering holes in the roof. Meat is cooking on skewers over the fire, and something’s bubbling away in something like a leather pot. “Hot rocks from the fire,” she says, though you’d already figured out it was something like that. She shows you where to find what passes for dinnerware in the Neolithic: horn spoons and leather bowls, flat wood planks. (“I’ll figure out clay eventually,” she grumbles.)

She has you wash your hands twice before you touch the dinnerware or eat. (Cleanliness level: several hundred points above Clan of the Cave Bear.) The soap is soft and horrible and it feels like it’s trying to eat the skin off your hands. She only gives you a little of whatever had been cooking in the pot, a nutty smelling mush. “Wait, see if it makes you sick.” The meat is apparently safe for you to eat. You sample the food and wait a while to see if it makes you sick. When it doesn’t make you sick, you eat all of it.

You both eat in silence at a table that’s basically a section of tree trunk polished smooth and set up on smooth river rocks. She doesn’t ask questions any more than her twin sister had. It’s some variation of either she’d not curious or she doesn’t care. You don’t ask any questions either. It’s quiet, except for the crackling of the fire, and the sounds of whatever kind of crickets and frogs live out in the forest. You jump a little and then pretend you didn’t at the sound of something howling off in the distance. (The girl doesn’t react.)

The interior walls of the house are flat slabs of stone fit closely together without mortar. The floor is loose, coarse grained sand. It looks like someone took a piece of charcoal and sketched wild, abstract images on the walls. “Sooner or later he stop bitching about pigments,” she says. “Then my house look like fucking clown temple.” She rolls her eyes.

“Shit hole could use some color,” grumbles a voice like a bass drum for the dark of the next room. (Rooms.) “You bitching about my art again, Handmaid?”

“You call me that again and see how I serve, Highblood,” the girl snarls.

The voice laughs, and a skittering feeling runs over your skin and down your spine. “Who fuck’s out there?” the voice asks. “That ain’t you Demoness. That ain’t a fucking troll. This mudball have sentient life after all?”

“Has sentient life, just not here,” the girl--Demoness apparently--says. “Not yet.”

“Then who the fuck you breaking loaves with, geographically inclined rustblood?”

“Stupid fucker who breaks his head open three weeks from now,” Demoness says with an indifferent glacier coldness you can’t help but admire. “Just woke up, so takes too long to make him right.”

“Woke up. You mean like you and me woke up?”

“Come out and see, or are you sticking to your pile all spring like you did all winter?”

“Like you were traipsing out and about in the dark season ice,” the voice grumbles.

“Come out,” Demoness says. “I would threaten to give him your pile, but the rot from your maggot filled corpse would kill him, and my work all gone to waste.”

“You are the nastiest little bitch,” the voice says.

“Weak, hiding in your miasma all winter made you weak,” Demoness says.

“Motherfucking pale for you too,” the voice replies. There’s movement coming from the next room, followed by grumbling and cursing.

“Demoness” is pretty tall. Six foot eight, and not thin. She’s big and curvy with a lot of muscle mass under a pad of fat. Her skin has a kind of armored look to it, and had a smooth gleam that made you half expect to see your reflection in it. What comes out of the back room is maybe ten, eleven feet tall, and that’s not including the towering horns and wild, long hair like unto an eighties hair band. This guy is also broad as a house and his eyes are an indigo-purple that almost seems to glow. He’s wearing the same kind of skirt the girl is, along with something that’s more like a vest than a tunic. The armored look Demoness has is even more evident with him. He looks hard, almost segmented, though he doesn’t have the same gleam Demoness has.

“Highblood,” Demoness says.

“It’s a soft little thing, isn’t it?” Highblood asks, looming over you. He reaches out a hand and--

--you try not to be there--

--but he’s faster than you--

--And you freeze while he manhandles you. You’re frozen stiff and anything you might say is frozen behind a stone in your throat. Your heart however is going like a jackhammer. He moves your arms and legs, studies your joints, he touches your skin. He is so, so much colder than you. It’s weird and clinical, and it is way too much, he is way too close and he is manipulating your limbs like he wants to figure out the best way to tear you apart.

He lets you go finally, and you just kind of drop in a folded up heap on the floor. Highblood starts to rumble something to Demoness, but you don’t understand what he’s saying. Everything is a white washed blur and there’s a knife in your hand and you don’t understand anything. You uncoil at Highblood and lunge knife first--

And he isn’t there. You whirl, knowing, and this time you connect. It’s just a scratch, barely a scratch for this giant, blood thick and weird purple-blue. Then you are flying in the air and land on the far side of the firepit and Demoness holding back the giant with two slim white wands that are flickering a deep and furious red. “Yes poke at a damn sting tail and you’re surprised it stings! Stupid highblood fucker!” She screams up at the giant.

The big guy backs up, hands up and palm outward. “Not touching him, not touching you,” he says. “See, this is me backing right the fuck up. No need for the ashen conciliations”

You would very much like to abscond, but you’re knocked breathless and your mind is still crawling and shuddering from the giant touching you, from attacking the giant. You don’t think anything’s broken; it was just one hell of a belly flop. Anything you might say at this point is stuck behind the stone in your throat. You fold up and shake, your brain a tangled mess, listening to the shouting that is only occasionally comprehensible.

Demoness is snarling at Highblood. Highblood is talking fast and low, and under it is this deep humming sound that you are feeling more than hearing. You have no idea of what is going on or why he’s gone from fighting with you to trying to calm Demoness down.

You realize that’s exactly what he’s doing. It hadn’t been the giant who’d knocked you across the room, it had been the Demoness. The giant, Highblood, treating him (you) like a curiosity, like something to be studied, taken apart, broken. She’s angry because she hadn’t brought Highblood a toy, she’d taken in someone who was like them. (You don’t see how. You really don’t see how.) She’s angry because Highblood had been fucking around and underestimated someone because they weren’t another troll. Weren’t another highblood. Highblood was a fucking moron who could have been killed and he was just fucking around like he thought it was a game.

Demoness was right, Highblood is saying. He’d acted like the creature was tribute instead of a person. It had been so fascinatingly trolllike. He hadn’t planned on scaring it. He wasn’t going to hurt it. He had definitely underestimated it. Breathe girl, put down the fangs. Go check on the human, he’ll get his penitent ass out to the well for an ice cold scrub up.

“Go drown,” Demoness growls, and Highblood absconds. Then she comes over and pokes you with one of the white wands. “You alive?”

The stone is still pretty firmly lodged, so you grunt in more or less an affirmative, and bat at the wand. She steps back, and walks into the back of the house and emerges with a huge pile of bones, furs, rocks and who the fuck knows what else hovering behind her. This is not any more weird than anything else that’s happened since you woke up this morning. She opens the door and tosses all of it outside. “Clean your stinking pile!” She screams out the door, and shuts it. She glares at the door, and then turns back to you. “You tired?”

“Yeah,” you manage to croak.

She helps you to your feet, and takes you into the back, which is deeper into the hill, and a little lower than the main room. It’s a short tunnel that turns branches left and right. She goes right and the tunnel widens out into a room. Same stone walls and sand floor. Against one wall is a pile of dry grass covered by furs. There’s also a couple of shelves set in the wall with baskets full of clothes, bone, stone and wood tools. A few feet away from it is an area that looks like it was previously occupied by a similar pile with similar shelves and baskets. The light in the room is from little round candles set in niches in the wall.

Demoness grabs some furs from the shelf, measures out a space about three steps away from her pile, and dumps the furs on the sand. “Sleep here,” she says.

You collapse down into the furs and drop right over the edge into sleep.

#homestuck #bro strider #the handmaid #the demoness #the grand highblood #build a life

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analysis-by-vaylon · 7 years

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Vaylon's Crazy Theory #1: Pony Head will die, and Marco will use her horn as a weapon.

I told you these theories would be crazy, even for me.

First, a disclaimer: the contents of this post are sold as-is. Not guaranteed to actually predict the future, end shipping wars, or bring total enlightenment. Read at your own risk. May cause drowsiness or confusion. Void where prohibited. All sales are final. NO REFUNDS.

(This will be a long post.)

Perhaps you're thinking to yourself, "Vaylon, you crazy person, you, how on earth could you even begin to possibly justify such an outlandish theory?!" Well, what if I told you that it starts all the way back in episode 1b: "Party with a Pony"? But before I can tell you that story, I have to tell you this story: let's talk about the Holy Grail.

Not This @#$% Again!

If you're a regular follower of my blog, then I'm sure by now you're sick to death of me talking about the Holy Grail theory and how I think Lekmet's horn will come to play a big role in future seasons. Well, too bad! It’s a good theory, and I’m proud of it. There’s plenty of evidence for it, in my opinion -- but I missed something related to the Grail. Something big.

You see, I'm kind of an idiot for not realizing the possibility of this Pony Head theory sooner. The answer is literally right in front of my face every day. Have you ever seen my profile picture? It's the Lance of Longinus from Neon Genesis Evangelion.

Evangelion's Lance is based on an actual legend in medieval Christian tradition. The legend says that a Roman soldier named Longinus wanted to make sure that Christ was really dead, so he stabbed him in the side with his spear. (The use of the word lance instead of spear is debatable, but I like the alliteration, so I'm going to use it.) All sorts of stories and magical powers are associated with this weapon, and lots of different relics claim to be the "true" Lance. But here's the thing I had forgotten: in order for the Grail to catch the blood of Christ (and thus become the Grail), there has to be a sizable wound. The Lance, then, is what causes that wound.

The Holy Grail is only half of the picture! You can't have the Grail without the Lance; they go together. I felt like a fool when I realized the connection I’d been missing -- the hint was right in front of me the whole time.

In Arthurian tales, the Grail and Lance often go hand-in-hand -- one or both are depicted as continually dripping with blood -- and there have been lots (and lots) of books written about the symbolism behind the two mythical objects. One reading is that the Grail and Lance symbolically represent feminine and masculine aspects, respectively. Or, more irreverently, they represent Venus and Mars. Any of this starting to sound familiar yet?

I've written previously about Star being associated with the goddess Venus. Marco, then, of course, is associated with the god Mars; not only is his name ultimately derived from Mars, but he has a strong connection to the color red and to martial arts. The Roman god of war is depicted as carrying a spear as a weapon -- indeed, it's part of his symbol, which has now become the traditional symbol for "male." If there is indeed a Lance in Star vs. the Forces of Evil, then it seems only fitting that Marco -- the Lancer of the series -- comes to wield it.

Once I started thinking about the Lance, it was easy to find references to it (some more subtle than others). I've divided the theory into two sections: the first part will deal with connecting Pony Head to the Lance (and hence to Marco). The second part will deal with the foreshadowing of Pony Head's death. Let's begin!

Pony Head and Marco

Remember "Party with a Pony" -- the very first episode we see Pony Head in? Do you remember what game Pony Head and Marco play at the Amethyst Arcade?

Lance Lance Revolution! I was stunned when I recalled that scene. (I also wonder if it's a stealth reference to the opening of Revolutionary Girl Utena -- watch for the flying horses!) Notably, Pony Head loses the game to Marco. Indeed, for what it's worth, there are a number of references to sharp objects in "Party with a Pony":

The series is trying to establish a comparison between lances and Pony Head. Sound far-fetched? Perhaps -- but that's the point (so to speak) of this post. This theory's reading opens up the episode to a lot of irony in lines like this, for instance:

Pony Head: Look here, Earth Turd. This night is really important to me. You mess that up, and you’re gonna get the horn.

Marco could literally receive the horn from Pony Head. And there is another line in "Party with a Pony" that is much, much darker upon re-interpretation, but I'll save that for the second half. For now, let's move on to some other episodes.

Both Star and Marco make use of Pony Head several times throughout the series as a tool:

Her role as a tool in "St. Olga's Reform School for Wayward Princesses" and in "Pizza Thing" could foreshadow the eventual use of her horn as a weapon. "Pizza Thing" is particularly interesting as it focuses on Pony Head and Marco's relationship -- indeed, every time we see Pony Head on-screen, she is somehow causing trouble for Marco -- and there are odd lines in it like this one that seem to hint at something else going on:

Pony Head, however, does have a sharp edge to stab someone with. Marco using her horn as a weapon would be symbolic of the friendship between him and Pony Head; we would think of her every time he uses it. This shot is probably the most symbolic one in the episode, however:

Bowls, as I noted before in my post on the Holy Grail, are symbolic of the Grail; the symbolism, I think, is reinforced by Pony Head putting eggs into it. (Pizza dough does not ordinarily have eggs in it!) Remember: the Grail and the Lance go together. They are a pair, just like Star and Marco.

Finally, there's a pretty unusual passage in Star and Marco's Guide to Mastering Every Dimension:

It seems likely to me that the writers intend far more meaning behind Pony Head and Marco's relationship than is apparent at first glance; if this theory is correct, then perhaps Marco and Pony Head will become much closer than they are now just before she is killed, and he will commit himself to keeping her memory alive in a way she would have wanted.

Word Associations

I think "The Bounce Lounge" -- another often-overlooked episode -- is important, too, for establishing darker themes associated with Pony Head: that of old age, finality, and death. Yet, before we get into those themes, there's something odd going on in this episode, something that I've previously remarked on: shot-for-shot, "The Bounce Lounge" and "The Hard Way" have similar composition. (If you play both episodes at the same time, you'll see for yourself what I'm talking about.) In particular, I would like to focus on these two shots:

Visually, Pony Head is being compared to a pillar. Pillars play an unusual role in the series; for one thing, they're connected to Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade -- a film about the quest for the Holy Grail. For instance, the pillars that mark the clues that Indiana Jones follows are echoed in the second half of season two of Star vs. the Forces of Evil:

Pillar is a word with an interesting etymology. As you can see, it's ultimately derived from the Latin pila -- a word with some interesting connections (among them: mortar and pestle, pistil) -- but, more to the point (again, so to speak), it’s also etymologically connected to the Latin word pilum -- the famed javelin of the Roman soldier. Both pila and pilum probably have their origin in the proto-Indo-European root *peys- meaning "to crush."

The word pillar is ultimately derived from a root meaning "to crush." If you’re skeptical about the significance of this, just consider what a pillar does at the end of "The Battle for Mewni":

Yeah.

I don't think there's any need for us to balk at this sort of word association -- with cleaved in "Storm the Castle" and Janna sleeping in the grave in "Bon Bon the Birthday Clown," the writers have clearly demonstrated that they're aware of the meanings and etymologies of words. (As an aside, think about how much importance the word crush has in episodes like "Sleepover" and "Starcrushed"!) If Pony Head can be compared to a pillar, then she certainly can be compared to a javelin (or, more aptly, a spear).

The amount of suffering in "The Battle for Mewni" -- and the sheer number of times that the words dead or kill are used -- hint that the series as a whole is moving toward a darker, more serious tone. Would the death of a supporting character really be that out of place? There are some elements scattered throughout the series so far which hint at Pony Head's death; let's take a look at them.

The Shadow of Death

Even from the beginning of Pony Head's introduction, there's an air of danger and death around her; after all, in "Party with a Pony," she does try to kill Marco:

In the same episode, Marco responds to Pony Head with some violence of his own:

If this theory is right, and Pony Head is destined to die, consider how darkly ironic King Pony Head's incredible line at the end of "Party with a Pony" becomes:

King Pony Head: Ah, kids... You have 'em, and then you... wish they weren't around.

And that episode isn't the only one like that; as I noted earlier, "The Bounce Lounge" is entirely themed around old age, finality, and endings. There's a crow in the decrepit Bounce Lounge, an omen of death (if you watch the scene, note how the sound travels to the left channel, drawing your attention to the crow):

There's some visual metaphor going on as well: when Star starts to cry, all of her glass unicorn figurines shatter into pieces. Could this be foreshadowing Star's sorrow at her best friend's death? Indeed, the entire episode seems dedicated to priming the audience for -- something -- some kind of major loss or death:

Furthermore, Milly Sparkles says "six customers" -- and the show wants us to pay attention to what she says and how she says it -- but there are actually seven characters present:

At first, I wondered if something would happen to Marco, since he's the only one not reflected in Milly's shades, but in light of this theory, I now think it's Pony Head. A stretch, admittedly (isn't it all?), but it's hard to deny that "The Bounce Lounge" is a grim portent. To a lesser extent, “Running with Scissors” also presages death in what could be an ironic fashion:

This theory of mine about Pony Head may also help explain something I'd been puzzling over for quite a while during the season two finale livestream, which featured Marco and StarFan13 talking about Easter eggs to watch for during "Face the Music" and "Starcrushed":

StarFan13: Did you find all the Easter eggs? Did you find the unicorn skull, the pizza nuggets, and the shoulder tassels?

As far as I know, there's no unicorn skull in either "Face the Music" or "Starcrushed." However, there are some bones near the flytrap-like plant in "Face the Music":

But those don't look like unicorns to me; look at their teeth. (Also, the clues indicate we're looking for a single unicorn skull.) Perhaps this connection is far-fetched, but I always thought the hint of "unicorn skull" prefigured some other death -- and now I think it may be referring to Pony Head's eventual demise. (If someone has an alternate explanation for the unicorn skull hint, I would be happy to hear it!) But this is just a minor point compared to what I think is the biggest clue of all...

In a post about "Starcrushed," I wrote about how, among other things, the Magic High Commission and Star's group of friends all seem to run parallel to one another:

Emergency Friend Meeting: Star, Pony Head, Kelly, Janna, and StarFan13. Magic High Commission: Moon, Lekmet, Omnitraxus Prime, Hekapoo, and Rhombulus.

Thanks to Moon in "Return to Mewni," we know for a fact that Lekmet is gone for good:

Since "Starcrushed" implicitly compares Star's group of friends to the Magic High Commission, I don't think it's too much of a stretch to posit that one of Star's friends could die as well -- and the closest one to Lekmet in terms of kind and symbolism is Pony Head.

Lekmet is associated with healing (as is the Holy Grail); similarly, real-life legends about unicorns are also associated with healing -- their alleged horns were valuable, sought-after items believed to be cure-alls and were purchased by medieval nobles wanting to protect themselves against poison and disease. Both Lekmet and Pony Head have prominent horns, although Pony Head uses hers for magic, and it hasn't been revealed -- yet, anyway -- whether or not Lekmet's horn is magic (but I think it will be soon).

If Lekmet's horn is to be used as a magic item by Star, then is it really that much of a stretch to imagine Pony Head dying and her horn being used as a weapon by Marco?

How It All Goes Down

From what I've been reading, plenty of fans dislike Pony Head; in any case, I would certainly not characterize her as a popular character. I think she's fine in small doses, and at times she can even be hilariously off-beat: her appearance in "Running with Scissors" attests to that! A moment of redemption for her -- something to truly bolster audience opinion of her, perhaps even a heroic sacrifice -- would fit perfectly, I think, into the development of an otherwise unlikable character. It makes a whole lot of sense to me.

And, if it is to happen, then it seems obvious how: Miss Heinous. From "Heinous" -- an episode that I love due to how utterly off-the-rails demented it is -- it's clear that Miss Heinous is quite involved in the process of losing her grip on reality, and she's also become far more bloody-minded than previously shown. Here's a possible chain of events:

Miss Heinous threatens to kill Marco.

Pony Head sacrifices herself to save Marco.

Marco takes Pony Head's horn for revenge.

Implausible? Sure. I freely admit that this theory is crazy -- it's in the title, after all -- but I absolutely think it could happen, and that's what makes it so deliciously tantalizing. Given the show's running theme of transition, I think it would also be influential in terms of character development for Star if she lost her childhood friend; not only would it be symbolic of her transition to adulthood, but it would provide Pony Head a means of redeeming herself and allow the show to reveal just how dark it can truly be. I can’t wait for November!

I hope you enjoyed reading this! Feel free to complain here (or just send questions). Until next time! Take care of yourselves.

#star vs. the forces of evil #crazy theory #pony head #marco diaz

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petrichormemory · 7 years

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✒

Send a ✒ for a journal entry from my muse about a time they had with your muse

There’s a sketch in the center of the page. A majestic creature with a long, flowing mane and tail and a sharp horn rising from between its soft ears seemed frozen in action. He was about to leap over something that was missing from the drawing. Her words dance all around the image. Her usually neat handwriting looked almost rushed in her excitement to note the moment for all time.

I can not believe he did it! A real, live unicorn just standing in my kitchen like it was nothing! Absolutely best surprise I’ve had in nearly forever. Just gorgeous and really real and even got to ride him! It was a little like riding a horse but never knowing what’ll happen next. More like living magic or a dream and not knowing if you’re about to wake up and fall out of bed.

I have no idea how I’ll ever get him back for this and right now I don’t even care. I’m just so glad he did it. It’s crazy, if you think about it. All of time and space, and all the friends he’s made along the way, and he thought of me and my stupid little kid dreams of meeting a unicorn enough to make it happen. He could’ve been doing anything else and he stopped long enough to bring me something that made me that happy. There’s good in him, even if he won’t see it. I know it’s there.

#ic answers #v: through time and space #it had to be the unicorn)#thetax

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les-bi-katamari · 6 years

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SESSION 8

Bodies remaining around us: kid, two other bodies, one Herald corpse, one mook corpse, one undryad corpse. Bodies dragged into forest: sneak, two Heralds.

Brianne examines the Herald corpse. Lots of places where it’s shifted, transformed. Happened after death; not wounds, but its flesh struggling to keep up with its metamorphosis. Torso hollowed, less internal organs; ribcage grotesquely grown to accomodate muscles. Along spine and forelimbs, rows of metallic spikes growing out of it. These spikes are similar to the smaller spikes used for the dryad, but NOT the larger one, which was more intricate, shaped, gold inlay. Abyssal runes on them. (Note: the corpses in Ulthar’s tower did not have a big spike, only the Herald spikes.) Brianne reads the script: an abyssal prayer “We purify the weak, and rise in glory.” They all say the same thing. No discernable tool marks.

Brianne gets Ghorza to rip one of the spikes out, dripping with ichor. She then cuts it open to discover its bones are now the same metallic substance as the spikes. The bones are ALSO etched with Abyssal; it appears to say something else, but the ribs appear to be in the middle of something. She recruits ghorza again to help flay the flesh from its bones; Brianne fucks up during the autopsy and something bursts, releasing a nauseating scent of decay. She pukes (away from the body).

We eventually manage to peel off enough flesh from bone to get the gist. It reads like a religious text - mentions of Galaias, [her return from… entrapment? Somewhere.] The Herald is a walking unholy text, with prophecies etched into its bones. [With Primeval Awareness, Brianne detects more undead are in Mielikki’s Arbor, and six more suddenly appear there.]

Finally we go back inside to reunite with the cuddlepile.

Meanwhile, inside: Cadence is tending to Apphia’s near-mortal wounds, cleaning her etc. Kelsey anxiously asks if Apphia’s titties will be okay.

Megs, the only one who’s not preoccupied, talks to Juna alone. It turns out she knows the living bruiser, Valden Bray. (Gwen: “Can I roll insight to see if they fucked?” - Megs actually does but gets a 6 :P ). When she realizes he was one of the ones snooping in the barn, she charges in, grabs him by the collar, and demands an explanation while dangling him in the air.

He says he got mixed up in some bad shit, he needs food for his family and can’t lumberjack, so he signed up with the castle, but then it got ‘weird.’ He repeats that he was looking for the lens, sent on behalf of ‘someone above Brandt’.

Juna: “And so what, you were going to kill my family?! My parents, my siblings? Give me one good reason I shouldn’t burn you from the inside out!” (Kelsey: “Roll insight to see if they fucked!”) There’s another couple of the Vardanes, tall teenage boy and shorter girl, and Apphia and Cadence coming down now. Apphia DOES roll, and determines that they have made out but not fucked. Ghorza and Brianne come in now too. “I can’t believe this sniveling bastard sold out my family!”

He agrees to talk more; Juna lets him down, then decks him in the face again. He mentions the sneak was all about the ‘cause’ - says the people ‘holed up in Castle Aldessein’ are all weirdos. Mentions Martin, the bruiser we killed in the barn - Ghorza interjects “I think if you search your memory you’ll find he was killed by the zombies.” He mentions the margravine was more or less forced to leave by Brandt et al. The weirdos are part of some kind of cult, “Harbingers of the Dark Sun.”

Some of the group know of this cult - the cult of Cyric, triple-crowned king, god of lies and murder, whose followers are sometimes known for controlling the undead, binding them under their will. (Gwen: “Do you think someone would really do that? Just put on hats and tell lies?”)

Valden says there were services held in the dungeons at night. Carm was really into it. Carm and Nemeth run the show there. Brandt is a pawn they installed; Nemeth tells him what her superior wants and he makes it happen. The cult is everywhere - in all the marches and Isvanir - communicating with each other, keeping tabs on our movements, etc. The Margravine is being poisoned to keep her weak but alive.

Nemeth is apparently a tiefling too. Gold eyes, red hair, dark skin, horns, tail. Quiet, keeps to herself; doesn’t interact with the grunts much (Brandt does that). Looks like a warrior? Talks mostly to Brandt, Carm, the lieutenants sometimes.

Carm - the worst of all of them. Extremely creepy. Human. Keeps tabs on everyone. REAL into Cyric. Slight, pale, sandy brown hair, blue eyes. Coldest stare. Carm overheard another grunt talking about not being into Cyric; he disappeared and the altar got more bone decorations.

Cassath and Dresna - lieutenants. “Mostly just into each other” - no insight check needed, they’re fucking all the time; they’re probably fucking right now. Cassath is a high elf, from Isvanir. Light, short, messy brown hair. And she’s a witch? Scarred, burned hands (from acid). Cruel, but not really into Cyric. Dresna - half-orc, short black hair. She’s sneaky and creepy. Not as cruel as Carm, not really into Cyric; just there for Cassath.

Apphia knows of Cassath - an exiled criminal, from the slums where the Tarjanir refugees were. Ran a illicit alchemist shop, made acids. Made a lot of mayhem, was sentenced to be executed many years ago.

Ghorza knew of Dresna - she was in Vassarein’s army. Perennial bad example for the troops; didn’t play well with others. Robbed the armory and vanished.

Only one other person of importance, who Owen told us about, was the greasy, light-figured, shifty-looking guy who would swing by occasionally to deliver reports and talk to Nemeth and Brandt. No one who matched the description of Gulden, or the one Ulthor fought at the ruins.

Correspondence to Isvanir - maybe upstairs in the keep?

Albrecht - former castle guard. Erik knows him, recommends we talk to him. Dancing Dryad inn. Left when the cult took over.

Helene wants to get the family out of here, to safety. We decide that - after we burn the bodies - we’ll take the Vardanes into town and get them room in the inn. And Valden, we guess. Then we’ll rest up for the night.

We burn the Mortens (neighbors) and the herald and Martin (the bruiser). (Burned body count is up to 19).

We can now read some more of the remaining bones of the Herald, now that the flesh is burned up. [Brianne has heard some of these prophecies in her dream. Galaias returns under a sky of blood, upon a road of bone. She was sealed away on the Material Plane millenia ago. ‘From the ranks of her enemies, a spiteful soul will draw her forth.’]

Juna has a gift for Ghorza and Apphia, before we leave - she gives them a Ring of Necrotic Resistance and a Ring of Protection, and heartfelt hugs. It’s really gay!

We go into town - Cadence has shifted into a horse, and Megs and the kid ride her. Apphia is in the cart, being held in Juna’s strong arms. She gets the Cloak of Comforting.

Brianne, Apphia, Helene, Juna, and the kids check into the inn. Meanwhile, Eric takes Ghorza and Valden with to go find Albrecht. We’re rounding up a posse to save the people in the outskirts! Cadence stays a horse. She takes off on a run with Megs on her back.

The cost of putting up the Vardanes is 114. We split that five ways.

We find a stoic elven man with dark skin nursing a drink. Albrecht is Erik’s ex bf for sure. He perks up slightly when he sees Erik. He explains the situation with the undead attack. Albrecht toys with a dagger while looking at Valden, who admits he’s shit. Albrecht says he’ll round up his men. He also says he’ll put Valden to work helping to fix things once.

We discuss tactics on how to fight the things, that they should run away from the undryads if they see one. Ghorza tells Albrecht they’ll try to rescue the Margravine and reinstate her, which he fervently hopes they do.

Meanwhile, Cadence and Megs are out looking for flowers. They… find some weeds. They then try to go to Ghorza’s moms’ bakery, but forget it’s in a different city. Luckily, Megs has fantastic Investigation and finds an awesome bakery, and they get lots of pastries. They also get nice meals and wine to bring back to the party? So cute!

Imp: “And you brought us weed! Can I roll for how dank it is?”

Kelsey: “She needs to ride back in on me, looking dashing as fuck on the noble steed-” Lin: “Roll Charisma.” (Cadence rolls an 8, but at least Megs manages to roll a 22). Lin: “Peasant girls look out their windows, sighing, a merchant woman leans out of her booth and gives Megs the nod.”

Cadence fucks up and turns back before Meg dismounts, which spoils the effect a bit. Cadence druidcrafts the weeds into lovely flowers.

Ghorza gives Cadence a big hug and spins her around, and Cadence smiles for the first time that day. They share with the Vardanes too, and Juna hugs them as well. Megs redemption arc complete!

Lise and Armand - the Vardane kids. Lisse is like 7, Armande is 14.

We prepare to rest for the night. (Brianne buys our rooms. (It’s gay).) Tomorrow we storm the castle dungeons! Valden’s gonna be leading us in; we’ll put up the ruse that we’re on their side and Megs is bringing in the lens. Apphia will have the actual lens, and will show Valden the real lens as proof that we’ve had it all along. Then she’ll hide it on her person, and make an illusory copy.

Apphia and Brianne go out to get Apphia a new top, although Juna had Mending’d her shirt. Shopping episode~! After Brianne helps her find one, Apphia decides to get her a super soft nice cloak… OF BILLOWING! It’s all super gay. As they walk back, Brianne brushes her hand against hers, and Apphia takes her hand and swings their arms as they walk back.

Cadence, with a few drinks in her, finally shares her nightmares (or, trauma flashbacks) - a unicorn which was an Exarch(?) of Mielikki was corrupted into a undryad-like beast, and chased her out of the arbor. We have a big group hug.

Brianne: “If I’m super gay for Apphia, does that make me an Apphiest?”

Megan: “If Brianne wants to have the gay panic long rest, she can bunk with apphia.”

End of session, and day 3.

#recap #day 3

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milenasanchezmk · 7 years

Text

6 Food Products I Love to Hate and 5 I Just Love

Any old time readers remember the Fuming Fuji? He was the lovable yet ornery food critic of early MDA who railed against chocolate milk, cocoa puffs, chicken fries, applesauce (he was seriously biased here), and frozen waffles. He’d get a little carried away, and we eventually had to put him down (ironically, by turning him into applesauce), but his heart was in the right place. Today, I’m paying homage to the Fuming Fuji by having a little fun with some of today’s more absurd food offerings. Then I’ll follow up with some that I’m enjoying these days.

Let’s go:

1. Peeled Sumo Mandarins in Shrink Wrap

Whole Foods is a great store. They carry the best brand of mayo, for one. And two, they offer some of the most nutrient-dense food around. But now and then I find myself raising an eyebrow (or two) at something on the shelf.

Last year, they began offering pre-peeled sumo mandarin oranges in plastic shrink wrap. Because mandarin oranges weren’t already expressly bred to be easy-to-peel. Because orange peels weren’t crafted by evolution to protect the delicious interior. Because even if you were able to somehow peel your own orange, what the hell are you going to do with the peel?

2. Fried Gluten with Peanuts

The anti-Primal, fried gluten with peanuts has everything you’re not supposed to eat on strict paleo or Primal:

Gluten.

Rancid soybean oil (both frying and storage medium).

Soy.

Sugar.

Legumes.

And it’s all packaged in a can no doubt lined with ample BPA. If you were to toss a pallet of these into a CrossFit box, the universe would implode on itself.

3. Gluten-Free Water

The best satire is indistinguishable from reality. I’m pretty sure that Clara Gluten-Free Water is a real brand whose earnest mission is to give you “peace of mind throughout the day,” but boy is it tough to tell from the “portraits” of the water to their commitment to a diverse customer base (intended for anyone “at a vipassana retreat or simply working as an account manager at an award-winning boutique ad agency”) to the odd phrases they coin (“lifestyle-oriented individual”).

Who am I kidding. I’m going to start drinking this stuff and get on the righteous path. Who could say no to this face?

4. The Juicero

Ah, how I love the hubris on display when Silicon Valley tries entering the food space. From Soylent diarrhea to shmeat to disappointing vegan “mayo,” it rarely goes right. The Juicero is another example.

A $700 juicer that used proprietary packets of fresh produce, like a Keurig coffee maker only for kale juice, the Juicero just never made sense to me. How could such a set-up—shipping refrigerated single-serving produce packs—work?

It hasn’t. The company just announced they’re pulling out and issuing refunds for the Juicero.

5. Unicorn Froot Loops

I just don’t understand the “unicornization” of foods. What makes Unicorn Froot Loops unicorn Froot loops? I assumed they would have severed cereal horse heads with horns interspersed with the loops, but that doesn’t appear to be the case. They’re just different colored loops. There’s a unicorn on the box. Is that it?

Do kids really like unicorns so much that they’ll clamor for Unicorn Froot Loops? Is there a huge demand for unicorn-themed foods? Sure, put enough sugar in it and they’ll eat it, but what specifically about the unicorn is drawing people in?

Maybe if these were made of real unicorn meal, I’d sing a different tune. That’d be a healthy high-protein breakfast. I imagine magical beast flesh has plenty of undiscovered micronutrients, too. Oh well.

6. Yoni Beer

It was inevitable, in hindsight. Of course they were going to make beer using vaginal bacteria. I’m actually surprised it took this long. After all, “The secret of the beer lies in her vagina.” You get this message in fortune cookies, for crying out loud.

Look, I’m not going to disparage reproductive organs. But, well, the vagina a person chooses to consort with is a personal decision. I don’t just want any vagina’s lactic bacteria in my beer.

Then there’s the inevitable question I’m sure we’re all wondering right now: when’s the male version coming out—and will it derive active cultures from smegma? How long do we seriously have to wait?

But enough negativity. What do I love?

1. Turkey Legs at Disneyland

My kids are grown. I have no real reason to brave the crowds and visit Disneyland. And the product I’m about to recommend isn’t good enough to get me to go anymore. But when I did go, when my kids were of age and I did go to Disneyland, the turkey legs were a lifesaver. I still think about them.

There’s no gussying it up: It’s just a big tender smoked turkey leg. For about $9, you get around a pound of meat and sinew and tendon and gelatinous unctuousness. I’ll happily wait in line for Star Tours if I’ve got a turkey leg to gnaw on.

2. The SousVide+

Mike and Mary Dan Eades are good friends of mine, so when they asked me to highlight their upcoming SousVide+ I was more than happy to do it. Then I got to try the thing, and came away even more enthusiastic.

3. Chili Peppers

The farmer’s market has been great for fresh chilis lately. I’m loving fresno and serrano chilis, or any chili with moderately high heat that retains its fruitiness. There’s even a stand that sells Thai chilis on the vine. Just look around at your local market, as there are many different types. Ask to try them! I keep a tupperware container full of chopped chilis, garlic, shallots, and ginger that I can quickly add to stir fries without messing up a cutting board or getting hot chili residue all over my hands.

I’m also really into dried ancho chilis, which I eat like fruit bark. Seriously. Try it. I got the idea after listening to a podcast episode of “Conversations with Tyler” with Mark Miller, where they do a dry chile tasting and discuss how to choose dried chilis. Even better is a handful of dried ancho chili strips mixed with beef jerky.

On the powder front, chipotle chili powder is essential. Mix it with cumin and garlic powder for an incredible addition to any meat dish.

4. Wide Mouth Canning Jars

I’ve been pickling a fair bit of produce. Stuff like sauerkraut and kimchi, while delicious and not that hard, still take a bit more effort than I’m willing to expend these days. Plus, you have to worry about keeping torn up cabbage that loves to float submerged under the brine. It’s a big headache.

Instead, I’ve been pickling whole garlic cloves (I just get the big bag of organic peeled cloves from Costco), various spices like ginger and turmeric, small onions and shallots, and all the chili peppers I just mentioned. It’s great. Add the produce to the wide mouth canning jar, fill with salty brine (teaspoon of salt per cup of water or thereabouts), and wait for bubbles to start appearing. The relative density of the ingredients means keeping them submerged is simple. Sometimes I’ll spruce it up with a few dashes of fish sauce, or maybe a layer of olive oil at the top.

5. Short Rib “Steaks”

My new favorite “steak” is the short rib. Not the Korean cut with the little bone islands dispersed throughout, though that’s great, too. I prefer the English cut with the whole rib bone. To get a “steak,” I use a sharp knife to separate the meat from the bone. I season the meat with salt and pepper, throw it in the oven for 15-20 minutes at 270°, then sear it over high heat for a minute on each side. Even better—you can reserve the bone for soup.

Perfection.

That’s it for today, everyone. Do you have any personal favorites (or absurd discoveries) to add? Share ’em on the board, and have a great week.

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fishermariawo · 7 years

Text

6 Food Products I Love to Hate and 5 I Just Love

Let’s go:

1. Peeled Sumo Mandarins in Shrink Wrap

2. Fried Gluten with Peanuts

The anti-Primal, fried gluten with peanuts has everything you’re not supposed to eat on strict paleo or Primal:

Gluten.

Rancid soybean oil (both frying and storage medium).

Soy.

Sugar.

Legumes.

And it’s all packaged in a can no doubt lined with ample BPA. If you were to toss a pallet of these into a CrossFit box, the universe would implode on itself.

3. Gluten-Free Water

Who am I kidding. I’m going to start drinking this stuff and get on the righteous path. Who could say no to this face?

4. The Juicero

It hasn’t. The company just announced they’re pulling out and issuing refunds for the Juicero.

5. Unicorn Froot Loops

6. Yoni Beer

Look, I’m not going to disparage reproductive organs. But, well, the vagina a person chooses to consort with is a personal decision. I don’t just want any vagina’s lactic bacteria in my beer.

But enough negativity. What do I love?

1. Turkey Legs at Disneyland

2. The SousVide+

3. Chili Peppers

On the powder front, chipotle chili powder is essential. Mix it with cumin and garlic powder for an incredible addition to any meat dish.

4. Wide Mouth Canning Jars

5. Short Rib “Steaks”

Perfection.

That’s it for today, everyone. Do you have any personal favorites (or absurd discoveries) to add? Share ’em on the board, and have a great week.

0 notes

watsonrodriquezie · 7 years

Text

6 Food Products I Love to Hate and 5 I Just Love

Let’s go:

1. Peeled Sumo Mandarins in Shrink Wrap

2. Fried Gluten with Peanuts

The anti-Primal, fried gluten with peanuts has everything you’re not supposed to eat on strict paleo or Primal:

Gluten.

Rancid soybean oil (both frying and storage medium).

Soy.

Sugar.

Legumes.

And it’s all packaged in a can no doubt lined with ample BPA. If you were to toss a pallet of these into a CrossFit box, the universe would implode on itself.

3. Gluten-Free Water

Who am I kidding. I’m going to start drinking this stuff and get on the righteous path. Who could say no to this face?

4. The Juicero

It hasn’t. The company just announced they’re pulling out and issuing refunds for the Juicero.

5. Unicorn Froot Loops

6. Yoni Beer

Look, I’m not going to disparage reproductive organs. But, well, the vagina a person chooses to consort with is a personal decision. I don’t just want any vagina’s lactic bacteria in my beer.

But enough negativity. What do I love?

1. Turkey Legs at Disneyland

2. The SousVide+

3. Chili Peppers

On the powder front, chipotle chili powder is essential. Mix it with cumin and garlic powder for an incredible addition to any meat dish.

4. Wide Mouth Canning Jars

5. Short Rib “Steaks”

Perfection.

That’s it for today, everyone. Do you have any personal favorites (or absurd discoveries) to add? Share ’em on the board, and have a great week.

0 notes

cristinajourdanqp · 7 years

Text

6 Food Products I Love to Hate and 5 I Just Love

Let’s go:

1. Peeled Sumo Mandarins in Shrink Wrap

2. Fried Gluten with Peanuts

The anti-Primal, fried gluten with peanuts has everything you’re not supposed to eat on strict paleo or Primal:

Gluten.

Rancid soybean oil (both frying and storage medium).

Soy.

Sugar.

Legumes.

And it’s all packaged in a can no doubt lined with ample BPA. If you were to toss a pallet of these into a CrossFit box, the universe would implode on itself.

3. Gluten-Free Water

Who am I kidding. I’m going to start drinking this stuff and get on the righteous path. Who could say no to this face?

4. The Juicero

It hasn’t. The company just announced they’re pulling out and issuing refunds for the Juicero.

5. Unicorn Froot Loops

6. Yoni Beer

Look, I’m not going to disparage reproductive organs. But, well, the vagina a person chooses to consort with is a personal decision. I don’t just want any vagina’s lactic bacteria in my beer.

But enough negativity. What do I love?

1. Turkey Legs at Disneyland

2. The SousVide+

3. Chili Peppers

On the powder front, chipotle chili powder is essential. Mix it with cumin and garlic powder for an incredible addition to any meat dish.

4. Wide Mouth Canning Jars

5. Short Rib “Steaks”

Perfection.

That’s it for today, everyone. Do you have any personal favorites (or absurd discoveries) to add? Share ’em on the board, and have a great week.

0 notes