#i left that night crying on the fucking ubahn lmao

[nooradeservedbetter]

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#i was scrolling down ig procrastinating my work and i saw a lot of old valentine's day posts #and one of those in particular is from a person that i casually dated for a short while and we didn't part on good terms #and a lot of it was my fault and i can admit it #and i am happy they found someone truly #we weren't made to be honestly #it's not about them #it's about me feeling sorry for myself #moving in another country in the middle of covid w the trauma of spending march 2020 in milan... fucking destroyed me #destroyed my social life and everything #i didn't use to have problems socialising and making friends or dating around #i had a friend here and she'd been a friend for years and she hosted me when i first came here and idk i think it ruined our friendship #last time i saw her we were in a group of people and she mostly ignored me to talk to another person for all night #and i tried to converse and organise things with her and this other person #stuff that we'd talked about alone and she'd said yes and suddenly it was no because the other person didn't want to #i left that night crying on the fucking ubahn lmao #i just want to move cities and start again from scratch because i feel like bln is poisoned for me rn #i feel so alone and unwanted by everyone and i hate it