#i know for a fact this is all just an emotionally constipated jiwoo refusing to acknowledge his renewed happiness but

[fruti2flutie]

i HATE tms2 rn. not a hate as in, "this is a terrible plotline & i can't stand it," but a hate as in, "this is brilliantly done & i continue to be emotionally devastated!!!!!"

because seojoon was always the one chasing, was always the one accommodating, was always the one taking the extra steps to meet jiwoo. because jiwoo never expressed himself as much as seojoon did, never revealed more than he needed to, and yet seojoon was fine with it, loved him regardless. seojoon found his happiness in just being with jiwoo, in moving into an apartment with him, in getting scolded about hangers & other mundanely domestic things he'd never thought he was meant to have. seojoon believed in their shared happiness.

when jiwoo left, seojoon remained to search for answers. he wanted to know what he had done to make jiwoo leave. he wanted to know where jiwoo had gone, and he wanted to know if he was alright. yes, seojoon found jiwoo, but he still couldn't make sense of his partner's sudden disappearance & why he would leave to the countryside of all places. jiwoo was cold, distant, unreadable. but seojoon loved (and loves) this man, knows how hard jiwoo struggles to bare his heart, so he had to keep trying.

seojoon saw how much jiwoo cared for ti aspetto, so he befriended the townsfolk & offered them hand-scribbled coupons jiwoo would never make. seojoon watched how kind jiwoo was to dakyung's daughter, so he shared fire noodles & invisible tea with the young girl, giving yooha advice he wished someone would've told him way back when. seojoon kept his distance, and he prodded jiwoo as much as he could afford without getting pushed away again.

and then, seojoon saw jiwoo's story with sungyoon unravel. small town love. matching bracelets. five years. a disappearance. a reunion. when jiwoo tells seojoon, i was lonelier with you than i was without, it breaks his heart. bittersweet memories. overly sweet cookies. i thought about you a lot, too. share sentiments. i missed you. when he pieces it all together, it shatters him.

because that's what it all comes down to, isn't it? jiwoo's happiness. because, at the end of the day, seojoon wants jiwoo happy. even if that means throwing himself away. even if it means he's not the one jiwoo was waiting for.

#to my star #to my star 2 #my rambles #idea brain #seojoon & yooha's ramen sharing scene is EVERYTHING to me 🥺🥺🥺 #paraphrased dialogue yadda yadda tms brain rot etc etc #i know for a fact this is all just an emotionally constipated jiwoo refusing to acknowledge his renewed happiness but #sungyoon attempting to rekindle(?) their romance is throwing me off 🤔