#i judt wanted to be good

[mae-i-scribble]

I've recently read through all of fabiniku (my life as an ordinary guy who reincarnated as a girl or something like that for the english title) and it's just been such a fun and genuine time that made me so much more endeared to the series than I thought I was going to be going into this. And for me it touches on a very important part of representation and the argument that queer people will inherently tell queer stories better (spoiler alert i think this mentality is simplistic and unrealistic). Because full disclosure, yeah the author of fabiniku is not someone i assume is the best ally on the planet, and i dont even know if she's queer or not. Her author notes have some pretty :/// stuff in them about trans identity and the idea that being trans is a fetish or childish choice. However, there could also be translational errors messing up what exactly she means, and I can't exactly translate myself, so there is some doubt in that regard. But regardless of the author's opinions, none of that changes the very genuine and heartfelt story she is telling with Tachibana in fabiniku.

(putting the rest under a readmore bc its getting longer than i thought)

There's a reason fabiniku got its reputation as one of the queerest isekai's to ever isekai and that reputation is well deserved bc holy shit yeah these bitches gay and trans as hell. Fabiniku does something with its queer narrative that I personally really appreciate: it sidelines the queer themes. Now this may seem contradictory, but for me, I don't always want queer stories about being queer, I want the queer elements to be a part of the narrative without it being focused on them. And fabiniku absolutely delivers on this. It isn't the story of tachibana finding out he's trans and jinguuji finding out he's gay but also kinda technically bi now- it's a batshit insane isekai romcom about 2 best friends realizing they have feelings for each other. Of course, those queer elements are still very much there, but they're entrenched in the characters, not in the author saying "see this aspect of identity, i want to use these characters as a vehicle to tell a story about it." (Not that there's anything wrong with that, its just a difference in writing goals and how one goes about writing themes/stories)

Fabiniku was never trying to be anything profound or meaningful in terms of queer representation, its mostly a gag manga with some large overarching story beats, but the author's earnestness in portraying the romance and personal growth gives the series a real heart that 1)makes it enjoyable unlike some other comedy based isekai and 2) stops it from being offensive representation. Tachibana is a guy who finds himself becoming a girl one day without and warning, and his slow journey into realizing what exactly he wants in regards to his gender identity is never used as the butt of the joke or mocked. (I'm using he/him for tachibana bc literally as of a couple chapters ago we just got him admitting he may not want to go back to being a guy, he's still on the first steps of his trans journey). In the same vein Jinguuji's love of Tachibana is never truly treated as "only now bc tachibana is a girl, no way did jinguuji love him before nope nope." (yes the initial premise suggests this interpretation, but as the manga grows on it is increasingly clear that both these 2 loved each other before this isekai shenanigans began).

There's a lot more words in my head, but Im gonna wrap it up here. Fabiniku is hardly "perfect" representation, but it is telling a meaningful story with a lot of love put into it regardless. Blaming its mistakes on the author not being trans or gay while ignoring its strengths is useless nitpicking. I saw a post saying it would be a much funnier manga if a trans person wrote it, which is such an illogical point to make that I just had to go ????? at my screen for a minute. There's a lot to talk about with this story, and that's what you took away from it?? And im not saying there aren't criticisms to be made, I still think Jinguuji's arc should have been about him realizing that even if he didn't like women, it didn't change the fact that he was attracted to Tachibana- would have made for a more in character arc for him but again, the author was never intending for anything more than a romantic comedy manga, so I won't hold it against her too much.

Anyways everyone go watch or read fabiniku you won't regret it its so fucking good

#fabiniku #Life with an Ordinary Guy who Reincarnated into a Total Fantasy Knockout #hinata tachibana #tsukasa jinguuji #i am totally normal about the media i consume i promise #you want to read my rambling about the queer aspects of this show so bad right right #genuinely i think the rep in this is so fucking good #judt because it isnt perfect doesnt mean it doesnt have value #it is also 3am when i write this so things arent exactly coherent

[ty-bayonet-betteridge]

wish it was easier to deal with robot dysphoria

#i judt want all my limbs to be made out of metal and to have pinching points in the joints and to go kachunk and wrrrrr and such things #is that so hard... #only thing that gives me good robot euphoria is getting good cracks out of my bones #but now i do that so much that it leaves my neck and finger muscles sore most of the time #life is so hard :(

[propertyofkylar]

we need more edenfuckers on this site. who’s with me

#still thinking about puppy pc and eden #i judt want him to scratch my ears and call me a good girl

[0bsc3ne]

bitching abt my partner again so i can get it out of my system and not let it fester

had a Discussion yesterday and i said how i didn't like that i, someone who naturally wakes up early and has to go to bed around 11-midnight to get decent sleep, have been spending the last few months either sleep deprived or forced to use sleeping pills to sleep, when he sleeps in til fucking noon, even on the two days we both have off and can, yk, spend time doing things in the morning together, and then he complains that we never do anything outside (bc we live in florida. anything after noon is just a fucking sauna.)

anyways. i ask if he can start waking up earlier. he says he'll wake up at 10 today. i go, ok, thank you, but what does that prove? that you can do it once? i've been changing my schedule for months. i want to hear that you'll try to do it consistently. (And 10 isn't early anyways, but i didn't say that). he insists he's going to do it. makes sure i see him set an alarm in front of me and everything. so anyways. 10:01 i get a text that he's going to sleep a little more.

man.

#i also asked him to wash his hair more often bc he has REALLY nice long hair but its always fuckin greasy #unless he has some formal performance or i ask him to wash it #and he said hed wash it tonight and like. thanks. but like. can you maybe stsrt doing it without reason or me having to ask you #like a fucking toddler #anyways my hopes arent high #and its so fuckign pathetic that ill be thrilled if i come over to see him and its washed #honestly. #every day im closer and closer to just. breaking up #i love him. i reqlly do #but i think i love what he could be more than what hes actually willing to be #and its so upsetting #bc its judt. #if he says he wants me to do something #i fucking do it #i got a fucking minimum wage soulsucking job bc he said he thought having more steady income and a routine would help me #and it does. but he also complains now when i have to sleep at 9pm so i can get up for morning shifts #but he also complains when i work during the times he has off #and its not like. a controlling way at all. for the record. trust me on that #its just the like. Frustrating way. like suck it up and cope buttercup i am the one who is dealing with more right now. #in that situation at least #this got long but #you see my point #its just. so upsetting. #and again. i love him #i do #hes great in so many aspects and he has the same goals and its all so Good #but. god. fuck. #is this really what i want to deal with for the rest of my life when i know i can be perfectly happy and fulfilled in life without a partne

[studiousbotanist]

#does a bear blog in the woods #just phantom period stuff fuckingbw my brain chem i think is whats going on this week ! #i knew the new tfb would rip emotions outta me but im messed uppppp . #ive been single the longest ive been in a Long Time now ... #theres good and bad . theres so much cooking in my head from these few months #dealint with grief . bad job . good job now #and still working on getting my life and health togethwr #and im really trying to craft and make shit again . its So necessary for your soul and ive been neglecting #tabletop has helped so much and roleplay will too qhen i get into it #in the mean time though . im LONELY !! im in a mood where being by myself is Torrrtureeee . butnive also been overstimmed ! #i was very somber earlier cuz i jusf did Not have rhe energy to be up and do shit ..wjich is why i called out #but was just thinking the thing i miss most abt a relationship is always having some1 to hang out w or be around #especially physical side cause i am very physically affectionate !!! and tryin to get back to it . #its been hard cus of well ...trauma and also the pandemic . overthinking . itd help if i cried i think #i coulsve put this all ina read more ..too late now LOL ! #i just want to word vomit . been stuck in a bad nasty rude to myself feedback loop abt NOT venting and NEEDING to reach out directly #but good gd its difficult when we are All exhausted . and when i judt Need the vocal speak vs typing #if u read all this mess thank you LOL . ill be okay . ive got to let myself feel this

[tittysuckersworld]

y'know, not saying anything but you know what id love to see more of? sorta washed up kaveh fic stuff. like he is burnt out and tired and cant compell himself to work in different mediums he used to do good in cause it just dosent work for him anymore. or just being dad cause he defines himself on art and others define him on art so when he dose other things its weird or smth idk

just like if know any fics about kaveh struggle with happy end would love to read yes

#can you tell im an art kid? #only thing defined myself by in childhood that wasnt smth bad #loved sewing knitting the like #and now i have so much materials piled in my room from those passions #so much time and effort and work #and i cant get enough energy to even find my knitting needles again #i have projects wanna do but just #cant #idk i just wish i had extra energy again because these things i love that brought me so much energy now drain me #i still love them so much #but im really not good anymore. especially with standards by my age #idk you ever have a mid life crisis at like your teen years? #think shows how messed up the world has become lol #oh well #i just #kaveh is so much to me personally #i judt wanna see him struggle a little and think and yet be able to be pulled back up #i want him to be happy so bad #im horid horible projecting again but cant help it #if you cant find yourself really in a character project a little helps yes #glob im existing #gonna sleep now school but fanfic authors or ppl who read fics like this recomend me them pls thanks yous!!! #kaveh #also forgot to tag main man

[themyscirah]

I apologize sincerely for the person I am about to become here

#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!ABEIAIDJADJWIDJEJDURFHSJEIFHSH #im two pages in and have seen like 5 simon (judt simon!) panels and am already feeling it getting bad like GUYS!!!!!! GUYS!!!!!!!!! #oh my ogddddddddddddd #anyways we are officially on the green lanterns section of the simonjess full readthrough #it has taken me like 2 months and around a hundred new 52 comics to get here #so needless to say im kind of abt to lose it #“but wait swishy havent you already read this book” yeah. in early 2021 as one of my first comics ever. now im coming in with encyclopedic #characterization knowledge and like 600+ more comic issues under my belt #the last 100 or so (i had a few detours + distractions) leading up to this #anyways this is your warning. a code red (green?) is being activated in swishytown usa like take cover if you want to survive #currently dealing with the emotional realization that they have their own comic (despite already knowing that) like guys..... they get to be #the main characters..... 😭😭😭😭😭😭 #ive just read WAY too many cameos today bc i wanted to wrap up the new52 for good (with maybe like 4 or 5 missed cameos bc i couldnt take it #anymore) #so yeah. im here. we are rereading. #blah #swishy liveblogs

[i-deserve-to-bite]

Sigh I deserve to hold someone so very close dig my fingers into their shoulders and mush my face into their Chest or Neck I deserve to Hurt Them and Make Them Uncomfortable. Siigh. I would want to be hurt, but Hrm. Vows, sort of, alongside ?? Either way, I couldn't hurt anyone and I would feel Awful if I did. I don't trust myself with that considering how I've hurt people in the past not realizing The Damage I was doing [It May Have Been In Sixth Grade But Yuck I Was Awful Terrible Bad And I Don't Have Many Memories Around That Time]

I think I'd trust others to hurt me rather than I hurt them.

#miette does a tad of rambling hes tired #and also. sigh. how i Crave to atleast keep someone close try my hardest to keep them safe #the world is so dangerous and i need those around me to live long lives the only way to do that is Clearly to keep them close and restrained #i love ribbons and ruin and sadly hes taken the associating of ribbons so Phooey #siigh ribbons would be Nice to tie someone up with i think #just small parts like the arms #i wish i could do pretty little ribbons #maybe i could learn that... comma comma comma #ehhehee #i dont want anyone around me tonbe hurt sigh. as much hate lingers with me awfully and love pushes too far into dangerous territory #i wish i could judt hold people close and make sure theyre never hurt again but thats too dangerous #i Cannot be trusted with those sorts of things #im too dangerous of a person mentally and im not good with Stuff Involving Peoples Safety last i checked #i like rambling my thoughts like this #nobody will see and if they do they dont know me or wont bring it up #sigh :-) #im tired #a friend will be visiting tommorow #i need to clean up but im sleepy

[masatos-wig]

at a family gathering rn but all im thinkin abt it is how much i wanna just be home and spam bg3 for another 16hrs o(-(

#not even an exaggeration btw i Have Not Slept #i wanted to belt out all the grove n goblin camp stuff beforengoing back to work and it snowballed into multiple save files #of me either killing all the goblins or none at all #cuz i was so conflicted abt minthara gurl i want u so bad 😭 but the tiefling situation made me so fucking sad . so. #god i had to speedrun the goblin camp cuz it was alr 6am but i had to see the hard earned fruits of my labor via rizzing astarion WHICH. #HE SAID YES BTW. SHOCKER ACTUALLY my approval rating w him is like 55 v karlach/laezel/shadowheart towards 65+ 😭 like??? #I SCREAMED when he invited me to an afterparty #anw. i find it funny my ocs morals line up well w astarion (not that thats a good thing but rn in act 1 theyre judt 2 silly guys avin a gaff #to karlachs dismay. girl ily be poly w me 😭 #I WANNA GO HOME N BG3 SI BAAASDDDD RRRGRRGHHH RIPPING A PILLOW TO SHREDS #wig talk

[bosspigeon]

...

#pidge speaks #so dec is a 3 paycheck month for me #and bc of that i already have my rent for next month put aside #which means IN THEORY most of my next paycheck can be tucked into savings #and depending on what my christmas bonus looks like this year? #i might #MIGHT #be able to try and get a pc #and if i do that i might be able to get bg3 sometime after the new year #my coworker has even said theyd help me build it #i dont need anything too fancy #i am basically judt in it for a bg3/sims machine #i dont rly play a lot of big deal triple a games #and i dont need like crazy good reaction time stuff bc i dont like FPS and have shit reflexes anyway lmao #but idk #im afraid to get my hopes up #but i am legit getting so fucking sad the longer i got without being able to play #ive been waiting for three years #ive had my character ready for three years #idk i just have had a kind if shitty year and i want something nice for once #so fingers crossed

[angeloncewas]

Have started watching she-ra for the first time with my roommate

#(shes already seen it) #good so far #i feel bad for c.tra :( #I DONT WANT DISMCOURSE I JUDT STARTED #you can give opinions tho :)

[nomaishuttle]

fighting for my life trying to find info abt specificslly being an autistic parent to allistic kids but you search Autistic parent to allistic kids and evrry single thing is ITS SO FUCKING HARD TO HAVE A WEIRD FREAK WEIRD GROSS WEIRD WEIRD WEIRD SCARY ODD BLUNT AUTISTIC CHILD !!! WHEN YOU ARE NORMAL AND GOOD !!! can we all kill ourselves

#i did find a pretty good article im reading through. so ya.. it was a little upsetting at first bc they talked abt like. the author is l #autistic so they were talking abt an interaction they had with an allistic woman who had autistic parents and siblings #and she said some like. truly vile things and this person is a Far better person than me bc theyre like. well the way the she feels is sort #of a mirror of the way i felt growing up in an allistic family. which is fair but also i for shre wouldbe cussed this woman out very much #sry . she was saying shit abt how awful it was to see 2 autistic people presenting and being appreciated by their colleagues and how her #parents were broken and she was Real in a way they werent . like damn sry abt yr childhood but thats like. idk. im trying to be empathetic #but i am a broken and evil autistic person so im having some difficulty 😯 #sry. i have judt been thinking abt it bc i might adopt kids bc idk likee. yk. idk what the womb situation will be and i cant afford to get #my eggs frozen etc. so theres a high chance my kids might not be autistic. which is sort of scary and i wanted 2 try and see testimonies #from autistic parents judt 2 see like. what their experience was #obv ill still love my kids KRNFJFNG even if theyre weird freaky allistics ( #JOKING JOKING JOKING JOKING JOKING sry if my future kids r reading this.) #but yk i just wanted to see some of the things 2 look out for. #bc obviously. some things that are really good for autistic children can feel either stifling or distant to an allistic kid. which you can #say abt anything lol thats every kid but ykwin.

[neurofaggot]

I'm up too early. I went to a friend's party and by god I stayed too long talking and doing drugs fjdkfhjf (ITS 5AM!!! Hell on earth) BUT. I do want a little record of like. How absolutely nice these people were - I'd never met them before, and they were so like. Nice and accepting and we had soooo many chats about being transgender (this was like. All 40yr old cis men) and they were just great. Like yes I stayed wayyyyy too long but by god were they some of the nicest people ever. I love my job (I get to meet cool af people and do free drugs and have fun. Like it's perfect)

#parks.txt #like yes i am like. going to have the worst time tomorrow. going to be sooo hungover #but i was invited just like. by accident really (coworker mentioned me and was like oh! parker wants to do something! and they were like #absolutely bring parker here right now. i love parker" which i was like 😭😭😭 waaaa thank you #but i got free drugs and met so many fun people and they all liked me! #the 2 guys i was talking too were like. so nice and so interested in what my experience was as a trans man and were so understanding #like actually they were 2 of the nicest 30/40yr olds ive ever come across. and we just stayed talking about eeeeverything until 5am like #it was just amazing. i wanted a night out amd by god did i have it. im honestly sad its over cause it was so much fun like #everyone there eas amazing but those two and the hosts (who ive done their hair before) were like. woe just amazing. such good people #i cant even describe! anyways. thats enough from me. sorry lol i want a record of like. judt how much fun i had and how good a convo i had #so here we are. amazing guys. amazing party. perfect for me to let loose. amazing. just what i needed ❤️

[batz]

-

#new gorillaz music video ws weird HFSJHDJS #i actually like th song silent running tho! this album hasnt been too Awesom but this songs good at least #i rlly dont like the Current Lore(tm) tho like the Current Story going on or whatever? #i kinda just want them to be a band again and play Instrumence(tm) #this story w the LA cult is judt weird n confusing. same w murdoc and 2d and this random cult lady having a love triangle #frank.txt #erm whatevr im just a hater (evebtho gorillaz is a spwcial interest kinda but wharevrrr)

[ivanzplaid]

lawrence x male reader smut??? like kinda as if the reader was stuck in the bathroom with lawrence instead of adam and they both got out of the bathroom idk how to explain it

ofc love the idea but i just need a bit more clarification cause i wanna get it right😭

so like ofc reader snd lawrence in the bathroom trap, they both escape and become... apprentices(?) etc., then smut🤔 or some other outcome🤔🤔🤔

#lawrence gordon #im so sorry im judt slow #just like a LITTLE more detail snd im good fs but i was just worried id do smth you didnt want LOL #ivans fucking dumb

[skeletoninthemelonland]

Springtrap about to become real-

I have very mixed feelings towards this

I mean, YES but also NO

#PLEASE #please i judt want to se emy favrote charCyer SO BAD PLEEEEASE #BUT ALSO YES I'D THROW HAND SWITH THAT MF IF HAD THE CHANCE #INBOX #ANON #I WONDER WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE #I WONDER WHAT HE WILL DO #Probably not good stuff lmfao. just propabably yeah 🙄