#i haven’t had like a Breakdown™️ in a really long time i think bc i’m way more practiced at moving through bad days

[diffenbachiae]

i think this is the first year i’ve really started to realize that there isn’t a magical switch that will flip where i’ll suddenly be happy every single day of my life, it’s just life and finding the joy in it day by day and if it isn’t there making choices to add more of it and while that’s a lot of persistent disciplined work with the meditating and the physical exercise and forcing myself to read instead of letting myself rot on tiktok i think right now i’m happier than i’ve ever been before idk

#just feeling rly good abt mental health things right now #i haven’t had like a Breakdown™️ in a really long time i think bc i’m way more practiced at moving through bad days #and my self discipline is way better i think that’s been a HUGE part too #i wasn’t even on my own side before

[tobesobri]

Hi everyone. Sorry I’ve been mia for a bit. I decided to not respond to messages because it just hurt too much to dwell on everything that happened (since it was a super traumatic experience for me). But if you reached out, I appreciate you so so much. And if you have been through losing your best pet friend I am so genuinely sorry. I’ve been through this twice now and I don’t really think I will ever fully move on, but it has gotten a little better with some time (and lots of distractions). It just is actually the worst when all you want is your tiny bff and she’s not there, you know? I keep wishing I could go back and cuddle with her more and not push her off of me when she tries to sleep on my face. I get kind of buried in the regrets and the wishes though and I try to remind myself that I got to cuddle with her one last time on Saturday before she left and all the other good moments we had together are what matters (and I’m crying again so I will stop this train of thought now).

You don’t have to read any of this, it’s just been helping me with the Grief™️ to talk about some things. But I’ve kinda just had a hard time like enjoying anything lately which I expected bc I’m very much depressed rn but that’s why I haven’t even been on here to keep up with Harry because not even Harry has brought much joy back. I know it will just take time it just upsets me the most because I have my two dogs as well who usually always make me happy and still like idk I guess nothing is like filling the gaping hole in my heart that all of this left. I bought some plants though that I’m now taking care of so that’s helping a little. Might not have been the best move bc I have never taken care of plants and I will probably have a breakdown if I kill one of these succulents tbh lol. 

Anyway, I just wanted to come on here and give a little update because I’m going to try to come back on here again soon and I don’t want to like have my last post be about a traumatic thing that happened and then bam! random photo of harry shirtless at msg you know jnfvf 

Also, I have never done this and you do not have to at all but I thought I would ask if anyone would like to. I’ve been kind of putting together a little like memorial shelf in my room since I had her cremated. I don’t have the ashes or anything yet but I found this personalized urn I want to get for her. It’s very much out of my budget considering other bills I have to deal with so I just thought I would include my ko-fi if anyone would like to help with that. Again you do not have to! I will appreciate you endlessly if you would like to help me spoil my cat in her afterlife though, any amount is helpful!

Okay, this is super long I’m sorry! But yeah grief sucks and I hate it. Today was finally a somewhat better day for me though and I basically just hope you’re all having/had a good Thursday! (Sorry I made it kinda sad though) I’m going to continue rewatching stranger things now! Thank you all again for reaching out, sending you all my love ❤️