#i have no words oh man i rlly rlly want to play ccr i'm gna cry so much when i play it 😭😭

[noxtivagus]

christmas break FINALLY YEAH 🫶🏼

#🌙.rambles #i just woke up from a nap like an hour ago #technically still have the final paper to do but i can't do my part yet since it's the conclusion so i gotta wait for my grp 😭 #gna go out this sunday to like monday though? >< #we were gna go to the beach n stuff like that iirc last october w our bday but bcs of the storms we cldn't so!!!! #hehe i'm excited #i'm hoping that somehow i cld hang out w some of my friends this break #or. idk even online is good enough for me i miss calling w them i only typically like call every now n then. i rarely do so #n even if i want to idk i'm not rlly the type to ask my friends for stuff n i'm especially shy to initiate but #i always try my best to be there for them wnvr they ask >< #that said i wna hesitate less bcs i notice a lot of stuff n i want to do a lot but.. i get anxious :<< not that it's anyone's fault i just #overthink that i'll fuck things up somehow but i'm working on that though! <33 #oh man i miss my friends fr like. irl online just everyone #i'm gna try my best to be productive this break. i'm really gna have to fix my sleep though #i think i'll. HELP IDK WHAT TO DO FIRST MAYBE I'LL MAKE A SCHED #but i'll not sleep past 3 am. n hmmm #spontaneously i want to play ffxv or ff7r? n some other games too n #my dad was looking at ccr in steam like last night i think. it's expensive though 💀 #i rlly want it.. ff means so much to me so. >.> #SOMEDAY! SOON. HOPEFULLY. idk i'm really. idk if this is the right word but i'm shy w using money for myself #yk i think i'll finish shadow of colossus rq since i have it in my ps4 rn n then. bcs i'm lacking storage space yeah i'll finish that up #then i think i want to step into ffxv again even for just a bit >//< #watch me i'll be reduced to just a simple dumbass when i see noctis again oh dear

[noxtivagus]

yk what i'll log into ffxiv for just a bit ><

#🌙.rambles #i haven't played in a week! #like even just log in to afk or wtvr n 😭😭 #i barely have anything left to do just #quiz in chem tmrrw n then finish the rrl n then #the final paper for research got moved!!!! to next year after the break :// #n then there's also the project for chem due next year #:<< gna start reviewing for cets n all alrdy by january so i'm rlly gna make the most of this christmas break n fix my sleep #my. skills n wtvr the word was should match my intense ambition n passion #nvm as much as i'd even just like to log in to afk i feel Anxious even just at the thought of it #unless i have everything done i can't even Feel like resting 🥹 #but thinking a bit of the future n i #i really do hope i'll be able to buy n play ccr? i really really do #n then. i want to play even just a bit of xv & vii & ix again :c #NIER TOO OFC automata & drakengard. n arknights n gbf n a bunch of other games #n write. even if it's hard i really want to write #if i don't express myself in some way whether it be any form of art or wtvr i get so hkfasjdflksd T_T #i rlly want to draw.. just like how i used to as a kid! when i was rlly rlly young! #being afraid of making mistakes made me hesitate so much then oh man #i miss the piano too. shld rlly get to learning the guitar but i really want to see if i could get a violin somehow since. yeah #ffxiv i realize it's been a while since i talked to that friend?? like a week now n wtf it didn't seem that long ago at all n then #nooo i really haven't had the energy to talk w anyone for like. weeks now wtf i thought it was just the past few days but it's been weeks #oh n there's a lot of books i'll read too #but i have to continue working on this rrl w my grp so oh well i'll just finish eating dinner then help out n hopefully sleep before 4 am #that sounds so unhealthy . but when the break comes at least i can idk distract myself from my thoughts yeah i'll be productive for sure #sorry i'll just play ffxiv another time :c i miss it so much there's like the moogle treasure trove rn n the starlight event hehe #i'll look forward to it!!!! but for now i will be Productive. hopefully

[noxtivagus]

THE ZACK FAIR BRAINROT IS SO REAL

#tag later #HERO........ CRIES I LIKE CHARACTERS SM THAT ARE LIKE THAT HUH 😭 #'hey would you say i became a hero' bb boy you're gna make me cry #the price of freedom is steep.. #WINGS. ANGELS. MONSTERS. FUCK CC FOR THAT MY POOR HEART #dreams n honor n burdens n. living legacy sobs 'theyre yours now' 🥹 #n then flowers. aerith. she's so cute she's so cute twenty-three tiny wishes 😔 I'M SO SAD #zack literally fell from the sky 💀 hey bro did it hurt when you fell from heaven #HDFLKAJSDLFKSDJ N THEN THE PARALLEL WITH CLOUD :<< THAT HURT #aerith is so cute pls pls i love her so much she's rlly special to me 'id like to spend more time with you' AAAAAA MY HEART SOB #cries zack the puppy he's so cute fr #the sky.. THE SKY THE BLUE SKY. EYES THE COLOR OF THE SKY #being a 'monster' an 'angel' or 'human'. that. oh no i'm like obsessed w themes like that #he's such a good person :<< he's so charming fr n such an inspiration n sob AGHHH HE'S SO COOL I REALLY LOVE ZACK!?!?!?!?! #i've mostly been talking abt zack but. goddamn sephiroth in cc is so special to me he's one of my favs too. N ANGEAL. EVERYONE! #I CANT EVEN RAMBLE ANYMORE THIS IS #i have no words oh man i rlly rlly want to play ccr i'm gna cry so much when i play it 😭😭 #i'm really thankful to video games n just. stories in general bcs i've always been rather reserved n #bro even as a kid i barely cried. my mom told me i didn't even cry when i got out or smth?? idk if that's true but she said so #i've always been emotional n rather sensitive yes but i grew up not being the most expressive of it. not really sure why #nyways especially in times where i ended up bottling my emotions so much bcs i wanted to 'handle it on my own' so #others 'wouldnt worry' (backfired)!!!! video games. i mean stories in general like books n anime even #really served as an outlet that helped me let it all out. ffxv for example in early 2020 and ffvii mid 2020 n ffix throughout #school during 2020 n ffxiv late 2020 #YOU SEE. THERE'S SM OTHER GAMES TOO BUT FINAL FANTASY REALLY WAS SO PRESENT THROUGHOUT MY LIFE #no doubt that it's my fav series fr :c i really love a lot of games but.. yeah ff rlly is so special to me #THERES SM MORE TO RAMBLE ABT BUT I HAVE ASSIGNMENTS TO DO SOB BUT. CISSNEI N. EVERYTHING ELSE 😭🫶🏼 #apollo says hi. n says i have no ass wtf man they're so random but it's adorable 🥹 THAT SAID THOUGH FUCK LOVELESS IS SO COOL FUCKK DFJAKDSL