#i have no good excuse other than i cannot read correctly and colors mess me up .

[theyarebothgunshot]

jib 6 breakdown and analysis

standard disclaimer: i am not gonna be linking to every single thing i talk about, but i will try my best to link to the moments that stand out to me the most. i have read long posts about this panel before, so not everything in this post is gonna be original or said for the first time ever, simply because there is a good chance that information has stuck in my mind and has subconsciously formed my view of this panel. this is also in no way, shape or form gonna be coherent, unfortunately. i’m just gonna hope that the cockles hivemind will be able to make sense of this regardless. love and light. and lastly, this is all in good fun, so don’t come at me if you think this is too out there please and thank you.

if i would have to give this panel a signifier, i would say this is the panel of the inside jokes. it’s the panel that shows us how well they know each other, to the point that they finish each other’s sentences and start telling the same punchline to a joke at the same time. 

but besides all of that, it was also the panel of the shoulder touches, husband behavior, and rescuer misha. let’s dive into it.

-

i adore the fact that they are laughing and joking with each other from the first second they get on stage. the way that they tell that story about how they planned to have misha nap and have jensen drink whisky and humm, really reminds me of something that i mentioned a lot during my jib 7 analysis: they are very much in sync.

jensen slinging his arm around misha of course had to be compensated with a manly face and manly grip. the rituals… i know they are intricate.

it’s kind of cute how misha tried to both encourage jensen to try that step, and wanted to make sure he wouldn’t hurt himself lmao. dare i say husband behavior? (i do dare and i will do it again, bam bam!) 

something about the way they talk about j*red just makes me feel like they are such a team, if that makes sense? like, they both think the same things about j*red’s antics and talk in such a united way about it (“and jensen and i were like…” “i don’t even care. he [points at misha] doesn’t care.”) that it just sounds kind of coupley to me. *whispers* husband behavior.

i love that jensen’s first instinct after talking about missing j*red was to go over to misha, put his hand on his shoulder, and talk about his fucking flirting way of pranking misha versus j*red’s painful pranking of misha. “with you it’s like my friend and protector is....” i truly wish the audience wasn’t as loud as they were in that moment because i would love to fully hear that sentence. 

the look on jensen’s face when misha says “save it for when we take off our pants” is just priceless. ‘oh god here we go again, when will he ever learn’ but the funny thing is, he will make the same face later on in the panel, after talking about riding a dragon. that’s the face he makes when one of them goes slightly too far. just thought that was interesting.

what stands out to me the most is his reaction when misha turns around just as he is ‘fake unbuttoning’ his pants like: ‘i’m just kidding i’m innocent’ literally no reason to respond like that if misha is just his buddy.

misha’s “what are you doing?” as jensen is tying his flannel around his waist also stands out to me. he clearly does not like the look and can’t keep his mouth shut (“that was bothering me too”). why would you find the need to comment on your buddy’s fashion choice. (....husband behavior.)

just wanna take a moment to say that it’s very fucking funny that jensen said “don’t take selfies” when you know that just a few years later he would take the chest to chest selfie with misha. oh, jensen. 

we have all heard the “jensen pranks misha on set by flirting with him” story countless of times, but it’s still funny to me how flustered misha seems to get by the fact that jensen can get to him that easily. and jensen’s laugh here is so cute, he fully knows what he is doing. 

misha jokes that he spends more time sunning on rocks now as a merman than he used to, and jensen immediately starts to walk to the apple juice, something i have noticed that he does whenever he wants to avoid something (be it a question or a situation that’s happening on stage). it almost feels like he is stopping himself from making a comment or something. it’s interesting, because he just turns right back around and starts telling the grasshopper joke without getting anything to drink.

which leads to one of my favorite moments between them: misha, beaming, says that he has heard it before but he wants to hear it again, and mouths the words to the punchline along with jensen. he looks at the audience as if to say ‘good one, right?’ and when jensen goes “is this thing on?” misha immediately tries to distract him from his failed joke by using an inside joke (the first inside joke of the panel) with him. aka good husband behavior.

something tells me that “i’ll see you again, grasshopper” is another inside joke, so we’re counting it: number two. 

jensen. jensen pspsps come here. can you please explain to me why you are so horny for misha’s indianrussian accent? i cannot believe him (i can), trying to get him to use the accent to ‘help the girl in the audience’. 

so uhm. i think i just heard something while i was rewatching this panel that i never caught before. when misha reads what is on the box that was put on stage, he says: ‘please take this box and open later in private - daniella.’ and jensen goes: ‘yeah that’s from me’ with a flirty Look on his face like. hello??? why have i never seen anybody talk about this??? i’m??? internally screaming??? rest assured i had to take 5 when i saw this shit. 

can we take a second to appreciate the fact that jensen gave misha a once over when misha says the glitter is everywhere, and then jensen said “fairy herpes”. why did your mind go to a sexual reference jensen? why? (we know why).

“i hate when you get that look in your eyes. don’t! i’m sorry!” is one of the most coupley things to say, ever. just wanted to point that out. 

i love the playful vibe they have during this portion of the panel: jensen asking misha what he will do for the audience (thinly veiled excuse for wanting misha to do something that jensen will also enjoy), throwing the rings at misha, both of them “panicking” and lapping up the spilled apple juice.

look, i couldn’t not include the shirt lift. i had to. especially because of the way he looks at misha afterwards lmao and misha, darling misha, tries to defuse the situation by making a joke and it works because of course jensen does his signature unicorn laugh. sidenote: how cute is jackles when he grabs the guitar, begging people to erase the picture jsfhs. gotta love that man.

“you done messed up” inside joke number 3.

you know what is funny to me? the fact that jensen and misha often pretend not to know certain things about each other when they are on stage together. one example of this is during the underbear debacle, when jensen asks misha to proof he wears orange underwear and pretends he is shocked, even though the whole world knows that misha wears orange underwear. 

in this panel, it happens twice. the first time is here, when misha asks jensen ‘do you actually not smell?’ as if he isn’t one of the people in this world who would know that best. and then he, of course, immediately takes this opportunity to sniff jensen’s armpit. i mean. okay. which is extra funny because jackles doesn’t play along with the whole ‘i have no clue’ bit and just goes “yeah you’re not a stinker” without checking because, clearly, he already knows. 

i love jensen’s little smirk when he hears misha’s dragon would be pink + misha’s reaction to it.

before i read this post i always thought jensen meant that his own dragon would be salmon colored. but now i think that it’s not far fetched to believe jensen was actually thinking about the fact that he has stated he was wearing a salmon shirt. which means that, in this moment right here, he was implying that instead of pink, misha’s dragon (aka jensen) would be salmon. which makes his reaction (looking down, laughing but shaking his head as if he can’t believe himself) very understandable. remember what i said about that being the face he makes when one of them takes it too far? yeah.

but then, something happens that is quite remarkable to me. instead of backing down from what he said, he fully commits to it. he turns to misha, and goes “if i could ride a dragon”. listen to the way he puts extra weight behind “ride” and “dragon”. 

then he asks if he understands the question correctly and repeats “what would it look like?”, the girl in the audience says “yes, but also any special abilities…” but jensen just ignores that because obviously, in his head the dragon is misha and he is not gonna shake that thought process any time soon. so naturally, he goes “i think my dragon that i would want to…” but stops JUST before saying “ride”, the guy KNEW what he was sounding like. lmao jensen i gotta give it to you buddy, good effort. you did well. you came far. you even said “look, i’m just gonna go for it here” even though misha’s face speaks volumes. i love you for that. because everything that came out of your mouth right then sounded very not straight.

in fact, it’s only because of misha’s interference (a reoccurring thing during these panels) that he stops himself completely and goes to talk with misha. i really wonder what would have happened if misha didn’t stop him. i also REALLY wonder what misha and jensen discussed when they turned their backs to the audience. sigh. 

now we get to the juicy stuff. jensen’s little slip up here is really really strange, when you think about it. he says “i have kids” before quickly covering that up with “i have a kid now.” i’m not saying the ackles and the collins are one big happy family or anything like that, but i do think that they are close enough for him to slip up like this. maybe the kids hang out together a lot. maybe they have given each other enough support during those early days of raising kids that it sometimes feels like he had multiple kids at that point in time. idk. but in any case, i don’t think that’s a slip up you’d make unless there was some sort of truth in it. he also kind of stumbles over his words right after that. [before anybody runs to my inbox to tell me that j/2 tinhatters think this is about him and j*red raising their kids together: trust me, i know, but we’re not talking about that.]

misha’s cheeky “i thought you were talking about danneel” followed by the both of them simultaneously saying that jensen does not tell her what to do, made me grin like a fool. that is all. 

the way jensen says “misha, apparently you were looking pale and you need some sugar. there you go.” is so SOFT AND CUTE idek how to explain what i am feeling but it’s just. a lot. oh wait a minute, i do know what to call it: HUSBAND behavior.

“by the way we’re gonna pay so dearly when we get home” “yeah we are” lmao the jdmv vibes are strong in this one. 

look. i know it’s possible that misha woke up alone after that dream, thought to himself ‘i miss her’, went for breakfast, saw jensen, and told this story to him verbatim. but misha is literally telling the story from the pov of waking up from a dream and saying that out loud. it would make sense that he would explain that dream to the person who he woke up with, and that he would follow the dream explanation up with “i miss her”. plus jensen is REPEATING IT as if he was right there when misha said that. add to that the way jackles stumbles over his words here and gets flustered and sits down? and misha’s face? yeah. you done messed up jackles, part 2. 

jensen doesn’t know what to do with himself. just look at his face right after he sits down. and misha, once again, comes to the rescue, trying to continue the conversation about poop in order to distract both jensen and the audience. bless his soul. 

it leads to the second instance of misha pretending that he doesn’t know something about jensen, namely that jensen can’t stand poop even from his own daughter. misha goes: “no? not for you?” as if he didn’t already know that. 

round of applause for the jib team, for putting on ‘this thing called love’ to get jensen and misha to dance……. just saying.

jensen’s little nod to misha right here? husband telepathic communication at its finest. even their silly dad dances are in sync. 

jackles you are NOT being slick we can SEE you tossing the mic to your other hand so you can pull misha in by the waist (or honestly maybe his hand landed lower idk idk it’s possible).

it really is something special, though, what happened right here: jensen, macho masculine grumpy performative jensen, is smiling and laughing and enjoying dancing on stage, doing some ballet moves, all because of misha (and by some extent felicia). not just with felicia or by himself, but with rob, osric, etc. honestly it’s heartwarming to watch. it makes me smile so much. 

-

and that was jib 6. thanks for reading everybody <3 

#cockles #jib 6 #i used a different method to add the timestamps and i really hope it works this time #as always please feel free to share your thoughts ! <3

[kyoonqs]

iluso amor ; third part.

↬ summary: Cora has always considered herself elusive, easy to bore and adventurous to the last fiber of her body. One day for no apparent reason, she appears in front of the manager of a globetrotting circus passing through the city where she is temporarily staying to fill her life with magic. Baekhyun, as serious as he is handsome, has no intention of playing a role other than on the main canvas of the circus. He decides to separate Cora from her life of fantasies created by her travels and sets out to show her reality as raw and cruel as he knows it. Or so he believes.

Will time run out too quickly before love and passion devour him and he decides to risk everything for a love that lasts… Forever?

↬ pairing: baekhyun x cora fem!reader.

↬ circus!au ; illusionist!baek x hitchhiker!oc ; strangers to lovers au!

↬ genre: fluff ; romance ; angst ; drama.

↬ length: 9.2 k words.

↬ tag list: @changshapatrol @spacebyuns @fluffyhunnie @soos-goddess @hoho-cham @shadoukiti @sunbyun21​ @mangobaek​ @suhotly​ @pororodks​ @bbhbae​ @blahblahblah-boo @leewalberg​ @byunsbobobu​ @endzii23​ @taeilpathic​

If you’d like to be tagged for future chapters, please let me know!

↬ masterlist.

When Cora left the trailer in that afternoon, she bumped into a young woman with shiny golden skin, dark hair, and a very pretty, contagious rectangular smile. She recognized her as Talia, she was a member of the group that performed acrobatic skills using various elements from ribbons to hoops and balls. From the moment she saw her, Cora could read how transparent she was and dared to say that she was surely the sweetest young woman in the whole circus.

The girl introduced herself and without losing her smile she brushed her hair behind her shoulders. Cora returned the greeting with a cordial smile of her own, as she caught sight of  another woman approaching. The woman, dressed in black baggy pants and an oversized shirt came up and introduced herself as Ramona. Cora instantly recognized her as one of the women who had entered the arena on the back of one of the horses. Her casual clothes made Cora feel overdressed. She'd wanted to look good on her first day at the box office; for this she had put on an ivory silk blouse with black leggings instead of the jeans and the outlet shirt that Baekhyun had insisted on buying her in a shop window they had passed before settling in Fraga.

“Cora is Baekhyun's girlfriend, she joined us in Monzón.” Said Talia, who seemed increasingly happy with the news.

“I already heard the news. How lucky you are. Man doesn’t have a single particle of waste in his body.” Ramona replied.

Cora opened her mouth to tell them that she was just showing up for work, that she was definitely not his girlfriend but she snapped it shut when Ramona interrupted her with: “Algeria is going to have a fit when she gets back.”

“Actually... I applied for this job because of the vacancy, I didn't know Baekhyun before and I don't think he's interested in me either.” Cora felt embarrassed. She didn't want these girls to get a bad impression of either her or Baekhyun in the first conversation.

“Vacancy? The positions were filled by the time flyers were posted and besides we only needed male performers. Are you sure he has no interest in you?” Talia looked in bewilderment to Ramona, who only shrugged her shoulders with an apology that she had to leave.

Cora was going to investigate a little more, considering the girl's words had given her a lot to think about but she was in a hurry to get to the box office in time.

“I guess I’d better go. It was nice meeting you.” She waved goodbye and headed toward the locker trailer, mentally correcting herself that the place was to be called “The Red Wagon” shortly before. Baekhyun had told her the circus lockers were always called that, no matter the color.

Despite its name, the locker was pale in color. Dotted with a handful of colored stars, it showcased a hanging blackboard with prices according to age and number of family members.

In contrast to the cheerful exterior, the interior was dull and cluttered. A battered steel desk sat in front of a small sofa piled high with stacks of newspapers. There were mismatched chairs, an old filing cabinet, and a radio. Baekhyun was sitting behind the desk, with a calculator in one hand and a clipboard in the other. A single glance at his stormy face told Cora that Baekhyun hadn't had a good day so far.

Baekhyun stood up and gestured for her to follow him, leading her to the window at the side of the trailer to explain the procedure in a soft voice. It was very simple and Cora learned it immediately.

“I'll check every penny and make sure you don't lose sight of the fundraiser for a minute. The circus is on the brink of ruin, we cannot afford to lose money.”

“Of course I won't. I’m not stupid.” She held her breath, feeling that he would deny it, but Baekhyun concentrated on unlocking the hinge on the window. He accompanied her while she dispatched the first clients to make sure she was doing it right, and when he saw that she had no problems, he announced he was leaving.

“Are you going to the caravan?” she asked.

“I'll go when I have to get dressed. Why?”

“I left it somewhat scrambled.” She had to get back to the trailer before he saw the mess. When she started cleaning, she should have saved the cabinets for last, but wanting to scrub thoroughly, she had emptied the shelves to clean them first. The cabinets were clean now, but she hadn't had the time to put everything back and as a result, there wasn't a single surface in the trailer that wasn't occupied by something: clothing, tools, or an alarming pile of whips.

“I swear I’ll pick up everything as soon as I finish here, don’t worry if things are out of place.” Cora said hastily. 

Baekhyun simply nodded, leaving her alone. 

The next few hours passed without incident. Cora liked chatting with people looking to buy tickets and many of the circus employees made excuses to stop by and satisfy their curiosity about her –she guessed they were curious after the information Talia had given her, that they had all assumed she was there for other reasons, very dissociated from work–. 

She recognized some of the men tending the stalls: clowns and several members of a group that performed equestrian numbers. She couldn’t shake the feeling that some of the girls were hiding their jealousy over the rumor floating around that she had managed to “catch” Byun Baekhyun. She appreciated the covert gesture. It gave her a glimmer of hope. Maybe things would work out after all.

Only after the second performance had begun was Cora able to leave the box office to watch Baekhyun perform. She hoped that watching the show again would dilute the shock she'd experienced the night before but she found his performance even more impressive. Where had he learned to do these things?

It wasn’t until the performance ended that Cora recalled the re-ordering she had yet to take care of back at the caravan. She rushed back to the living accommodations and was preparing to open the door when Talia called out to her.

“Come on Cora, I want to show you something.” She closed the trailer door quickly, before Talia could see the mess inside. The young woman took her arm and led her through the line of caravans. To the left she could see the emcee talking to Baekhyun as the workers stacked bleachers.

They rounded the last caravan, and Cora gasped in surprise to see many of the performers, still in performance clothing, around a folding table with a rectangular cake on top. Laia, the girl she had met before, was near the cake, along with Ramona, Fionn –if she remembered her name correctly– and her group of aerialists, various clowns and many other employees she had encountered.

Grinning widely, the emcee pushed Baekhyun forward and Talia raised her hands like a conductor. “Attention everyone, let’s all welcome Cora!” She was speechless.  These people hardly knew her but here they were, extending a friendly hand to her. After spending months away from her family –not to complain of the wonderful travels– she took pleasure in the intimacy of this moment. At this impromptu gathering of future friends, she felt as if her family were welcoming her at the airport, with bright smiles and cheeks numb with happiness. Cora weighed the tears that were beginning to form in her eyes.

“Thank you. The cake looks delicious. I bet everyone wants a slice.” Cora glanced at Baekhyun, who had a lopsided smile on his face, surely trying to hide it. Even if they had only spent the last 24 hours together, she was beginning to grow familiar with his expressions. 

Cheeks burning –somewhat embarrassed– Cora walked up to the folding table, grabbed a knife, and began to slice the cake into neat squares. Someone ordered one of the men to turn the radio dial to a happy station. After all, what was a celebration without dance? 

When Cora had distributed the last of her cake, she watched as a tall boy with dark hair and round, shiny eyes like coins approached Talia. He looked hesitant but still held out his hand and she took it kindly. Guiding her to the center of an improvised dance floor, he then took her by the hips. Both of them mirrored a smile that could only have one explanation and Cora imagined how nice it would be nice to have company like that. In that moment, she thought of how Baekhyun had stroked her cheek the night before and turned to look for him, feeling disappointed when she found no sign of him.

For the next several hours, while the circus was being dismantled for the next town, Cora set about putting everything back into the cabinets. She was filled with a sense of despair that left her hardly able to stand upright but she kept working nonetheless.

The leggings she was wearing were completely dirty and the blouse was sticking to her skin but she didn't care. The little impromptu party and cake had been a small blessing to her but the fact that Baekhyun left the place sooner than she would have thought possible gave her the impression that all the hope she was gathering would only bring her a headache in the future. And she hoped it was just like that.

When Baekhyun entered the caravan shortly after midnight it still looked as messy as when Cora had first arrived. In the morning he’d found out that the circus was supposed to pay more taxes than expected. Afterwards he’d found out his boss would be back soon and with it the idea of receiving more tasks than he already had didn’t sit well and finally... he hadn't been able to get Cora out of his head. And it frightened him to such an extent that he had transformed the unfamiliar feeling into anger.

Although Cora had cleaned and organized the cupboards, she hadn't had the time or energy to do anything else. He rested his hands on his hips and examined the dirty furniture, the dusty tabletop, and the remnants of the cake the artists had insisted she take.

“I thought you were going to clean this up but I see that it’s still just as dirty.”

“The closets are clean. And I washed everything in the sink.” She said through clenched teeth, indifferently.

“Who cares about closets? Don't you know how to do anything right? You don't know anything about real life, do you, Cora? You're here for work, not to get thrown from one place to another for free. From now on, try to think of others, not just yourself.”

Cora's eyes stung as she tried not to cry. Without thinking, she picked up the cake with one hand and tossed it at him. He spread his hands automatically to stop her from throwing it at him, but it wasn't fast enough. The cake hit him on the shoulder and fell apart into a thousand pieces. She watched as the mess, bits of cake and icing flew everywhere. A sticky white substance splattered on Baekhyun's hair, eyebrows, and even eyelashes. Chunks of chocolate that had stuck to his jaw fell onto the shoulder of his shirt. Cora's nonchalance disappeared when she saw him turn red. He was going to kill her. He tried to wipe his eyes as he moved toward her. Cora got out of his way and, taking advantage of Baekhyun's temporary blindness, ran out the door.

She looked around frantically, searching for a safe place to hide. The circus had been dismantled. The smaller tents were closed and most of the trucks had left. She tripped over a bush and ended up taking refuge in a narrow space between two vans. Her heart beat hard against her ribs. What had she done? Had she completely lost her sanity? What if the emcee's introduction wasn't just about a lack of rationality and psychological logic? Could it be that the man's attractiveness had robbed her of her sanity so much that her heart already belonged to him? Was she going to go crazy because of love?

She hated arguing, irrespective of the person and the reason they might have, Cora had never been one to lose her temper so easily. She knew how to listen carefully. She thought before giving an answer and only if it suited her did she open her mouth. But at that moment she had acted with her heart. 

Cora hugged herself, repeating that she was a fool for having too white a heart, for allowing herself to give so many opportunities to people who had rejected her in the first instance, and above all for believing that she had the ability to make a difference in their lives.

She winced at the sound of a man's voice and slid deeper into the shadows, crashing into something solid and human. An alarm went off in her head. She turned around, unable to bear it any longer. Turning, she found a warm fortress behind her and knew she had found a sanctuary. Then she felt something rough under her cheek. The events, the fear, the exhaustion and all the –distressing– changes in her life over the past two days overwhelmed her and she burst into tears.

Baekhyun's hand was surprisingly soft as he took her chin, forcing her to face him. Cora looked up at him. Still stained with cake and icing sugar, he looked fierce and magnificent. She realized that she feared Baekhyun in another way, one that she did not fully understand, she only knew that it was something that went beyond physical threat. It was more than that. Somehow she felt that he could damage her soul.

Cora had reached the limits of her endurance. There had been too many changes, too many conflicts, and she didn't feel like fighting anymore. 

“I suppose now you want to threaten me with something horrible.”

“Don't you think you deserve it? Only children throw things, not adults.”

“You’re right, of course.” She brushed her hair away from her face with a shaking hand.

“What is this about? Humiliation? I've had enough for tonight. Limits? I've had enough too. Pressure? No, that won’t work, I'm too numb to feel it” she paused, hesitating. “I'm afraid you'll have to resort to something else.”

As he looked at her, she seemed so unhappy that something went soft inside Baekhyun. He brought his lips to hers, brushing against them but then he remembered that he shouldn't, so he turned away again. The sugar that hadn’t been cleaned with his sleeve had mixed with the salty liquid of her tears.

He knew that Cora was afraid of him –he had made sure of it– and yet he still couldn't believe that she had had the courage to throw the cake at him. He felt her tremble under his hands. Cora had shown her claws tonight but her eyes showed only despair. Did she know that her face reflected every one of her feelings? He wondered how many things had happened. Who was responsible for making her want to flee each time. 

As he watched her, he had to restrain the sudden urge to pick her up and carry her back to the trailer, where he would lay her on the bed and find the answers to all the questions he was beginning to ask. What would her hair look like down and spread out on the pillow? He wanted to see her naked on the wrinkled sheets, to see the paleness of her skin against his, he wanted to soak up her essence and feel her touch.

The day before, he had told himself that she wasn’t the type of woman he would sleep with, much less be in a relationship with, but he also knew it was a matter of time. He couldn't touch her until he was sure she understood how things would be between them. And by then, there was a good chance that Cora would grab her suitcase and run away.

He took her by the arm and led her to the trailer. For a moment, she resisted and then she followed resignedly. 

“I'm really starting to hate you,” she said weakly, her words almost inaudible. Baekhyun was surprised to find those very words hurt him, especially when that was what he wanted from her. Cora wasn’t cut out for such a hard life and he had no desire to prolong this indefinitely. It was the best he could do.

“Maybe it's for the best.”

“I've never met anyone so cold and cynical.”  “Cold, Baekhyun. You're so cold.” He'd heard a lot of women say that before her. Kindhearted women. Competent and intelligent women who had deserved more than a man whose feelings were long gone before meeting them. When he was young, he had thought that a family could heal that wounded and lonely part of him. But while seeking a lasting relationship, he had hurt those kind-hearted women and proved to himself that he had no feelings to love any of them, even if he had intended to.

They reached the caravan. He passed Cora at the door and stepped inside.

“I'm going to take a shower. I'll help you clean up when I get out.” She stopped him before he reached the bathroom.

“Couldn't you have been a little more pleasant… Or at least try to enjoy my welcome party for one more hour?”

“I am what I am. I’m not pretending. I never do that. Don't get romantic ideas about me. It would just be a waste of time. I have learned to live by my rules. I try to be as honest and as fair as possible. For this reason I overlooked the fact that you threw cake at me but don’t confuse justice with feelings.”

Baekhyun entered the bathroom and closed the door. Squeezing his eyelids shut, he tried to put the play of emotions he had seen crossing Cora's face out of his mind. He had seen it all: caution, innocence, hope, and love, the last one terrifying, the prospect that he might not be as bad as he seemed.

↬ author’s note: next chapters will start to get spicier, as always, hope you enjoy it! as you know, any feedback is welcome ♡ and again: thank you and i love you a lots, Oliv.

#baekhyun fluff #baekhyun angst #baekhyun smut #baekhyun x reader #baekhyun x oc #baekhyun x you #baekhyun fanfic #baekhyun fanfiction #baekhyun serie #baekhyun series #baekhyun au #baekhyun scenario #baekhyun scenarios #exo fanfic #exo fanfiction #exo au #baekhyun circus #exo circus #iluso amor

[sml8180]

Shot at Redemption - 04

Just a Chat

Rose was sitting across from John Seed himself, her warm brown eyes meeting his clear blue ones. The man was staring back at her, his arm still propped up on the table. A silence lingered between them as one waited for the other to say something, anything, to kick off their conversation. Finally, after several long moments of nothing but silence, Rose spoke up, unable to take the silence of the room any longer.

“So, what do you want?” She was up-front with her approach. After he threatened to turn her in, Rose didn’t want to waste time or leave any possible opening for John to twist things around.

“I want to make a deal with you,” John’s words almost sounded practiced. It shouldn’t be a surprise to Rose, considering she knew John had been a lawyer.

“What kind of deal? I know you were a lawyer, Blue. And once a lawyer, always a lawyer.” The woman crossed her forearms on the table, resting against them as she leaned forward in her chair.

“You could join us.”

“Excuse me?” Had Rose really just heard what she thought she did? Did John Seed really just propose that she join whatever he and his brothers were up to?

“You could join Joseph, Jacob, and I. Or, I could radio in right now to the Sheriff and turn you in. It’s your choice,” John’s lips curled into a smirk. She had heard correctly.

“You don’t have the guts, Blue,” she stared John down intensely, her gaze never wavering. The man across from her just smirked more and pulled a handheld radio, much like her own, from his belt, holding it up so she could see, but far enough away that she’d have no chance of reaching it. “Don’t you fucking dare, bitch.”

“If you don’t want me to call in, just say you’ll join us. Just say yes.” John’s voice was level as he spoke. He knew Rose wouldn’t have a choice, and that was crystal clear.

Rose bit her bottom lip, worrying it between her teeth as she considered her nearly nonexistent options. For all she knew, if he did call in, Whitehorse wouldn’t mess around. He’d bring more than enough people to get her in custody if he knew there was a dangerous criminal in the cabin. But, on the other hand, she had no idea what John and his brothers had going on. All she’d seen was back on the day she got into Hope County. She had no idea what it actually was she’d seen, but it would still probably be better than being turned in. With a sigh, she reluctantly nodded, “Fine.”

“Then say it.”

“It.”

John stared at Rose as she smirked, “No, that’s not what I meant, and you know it.”

“I said it, didn’t I?” Rose was trying not to laugh, at this point. If she was going to join up with these guys, she might as well have a bit of fun doing it.

“You didn’t say yes!” John held his radio tighter, taking a breath to compose himself. “We’ll work on it later.”

“Sure we will,” Rose had to admit to herself, annoying John was pretty amusing. Her prods got far more of a reaction from him than they did from Joseph.

“And don’t think I don’t know about your little pinecone bit. Joseph told me all about it,” John was clearly not amused by her prior joking with his brother. Given, she hadn’t been completely joking at that time.

Rose simply shrugged, pushing her chair back so that she could kick her feet up onto the corner of the table. “Anything else you wanna talk about, lawyer boy?”

“Considering you will be a member of the Project, you’ll need to learn about what we believe. And, you’ll have to learn a bit of respect, because what Joseph and I have seen won’t exactly cut it for someone we are personally bringing in.”

Rose rolled her eyes at this, it sounded just like something her parents would say. “What are you, now, my parent? What you see is what you get with me, take it or leave it.”

“I suppose I’ll have to take it, for now. Jacob should be able to handle your behavior. For now, though, I need to get going. You’ll find something on your bed that might help you learn a thing or two.” With these final words, John got up from his seat and made his way towards the door of the cabin. “I expect you to have read at least a few pages by the next time we meet,” he added over his shoulder, before he left the cabin completely, heading down the porch steps and down the path.

Once the Baptist was out of sight, Rose got up from her seat, closing the cabin door properly and grabbing the backpack she had set down, putting away the things she had gotten while in town. Thankfully, she hadn’t gotten anything that really needed to go into the fridge right away. After everything was in its place, she went to her bed, letting herself fall back onto the soft surface, though she fell onto something hard that she hadn’t expected to be there. Rolling over, she reached under her back and pulled out the offending object; a white leather bound book. Sitting up, Rose took a better look at the cover of the book. The cover was slightly embossed, the pattern on it stood out in black against the scuffed white of the leather; she recognized the pattern from the buildings at the compound and from the clothing she had seen the followers at the compound and by the river wearing. Despite the handful of scuffs on the front and back covers and spine of the book, the binding was seemingly fairly new, indicating the copy hadn’t been handled much. Had this been a copy that the brothers had kept separate for those they looked to bring in personally?

Without much of a thought, Rose set the book aside; she’d look into it later. For now, she got up and decided to get a few smaller things done. She got the soap she’d gotten from town and gathered up her clothes, going about washing them and hanging them up to dry. Afterwords, she went about making herself something for dinner, settling with a simple sandwich made from a few things she’d gotten in town. With dinner finished, Rose pulled a journal out from her bag and went to sit on the porch as the sun let off its last vibrant colors for the day, painting the sky pinks and oranges. Despite her less than favorable reputation back in Maine, Rose had actually always been a bit of an artist. She sketched the landscape in the sunset, and wrote about things that had been going on recently, being sure to date the page. When it got too dark for her to continue her journaling, the woman went back inside, putting the journal back into her backpack. After undressing and pulling on a T-shirt that was several sizes too big as a sort of nightgown, Rose settled in bed, but found herself unable to get to sleep. Following several long, restless moments, she sighed, deciding now was as good a time as any to actually start checking out the book John had left behind, so, she sat up, propped up on her pillow, and pulled the book over to her.

Opening up the front cover was as good a place as any to start. Inside the very front cover of the book were three short messages, each handwritten, each with different handwriting. The first was written in simple print, in an average size and spaced out a bit.

What is once lost can always be found again. Those who are blind can be made to see. Any and all can find salvation in the Lord, so long as they seek him out.     -Joseph Seed; The Father

The second was written in a much tighter and smoother sort of handwriting. It was clear that whoever’s writing it was, they had a steady hand.

You must atone for your sins, though God knows them, already. Confessing your sins and asking the Lord for forgiveness are the first steps towards redemption. Your sins must be known to all, and washed away before the gates of Eden will open to you.     -John Seed; The Baptist

The final message was in a larger size than the other two, and was a bit messier, as well. Almost as if it were written quickly, and without too much consideration for the overall appearance of the finished product.

This world is made up of wolves and rabbits; the strong and the weak. Even one wolf alone cannot stand. But, as a pack, they are feared, and they survive. If you want to survive in this world, you need to be strong; physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. There’s no other way to survive.     -Jacob Seed; The Soldier

Rose shook her head a bit after reading the three short messages written into the book. She really didn’t think she’d get much out of it, after all. But, she had no intentions of being arrested by Whitehorse, so, she turned to the first page of the book’s first chapter, and started to read. After a few pages, Rose stopped to think about what she’d read, and found her eyelids heavy and slowly starting to droop. Using an order insert from one of the magazines by her bed as a bookmark, Rose marked her place and closed the leather bound book, running her fingers over the pattern on the front cover for a short moment before setting it aside and laying down, allowing sleep to finally take her.

Her sleep wasn’t as restful as she’d hoped for, and Rose found herself still feeling extremely tired when she woke up. She stretched and yawned, sitting up in bed. The woman got up and went to get cleaned up, before going about her usual routine. It had been cloudy when she’d gotten up, and started to rain as she was making her coffee; so much for going fishing, then, there was no way she was going to go out to the river in rain like this. As she sipped her coffee, Rose simply watched out the window, watching as the rain slowly picked up. There wasn’t much she really wanted to do out in the rain, and it didn’t seem that this would be letting up anytime soon. As such, she started to think of what she could do indoors, and her thoughts turned to the book that John had left her. She’d read a few pages the night before, but didn’t really remember much of it, considering she had been so tired. Considering she wasn’t going anywhere, she might as well try to actually take in what she was reading.

Finishing her coffee, Rose put the mug in the sink, and got the white leather book from the makeshift table beside her bed, settling down in the soft armchair she’d found among the pile of furniture while she was clearing it out the other day. It was a large chair, and with her small frame, it was easy for her to just curl up in it. With her radio by her on a second table she’d put together from the spare broken pieces, she opened the book, moving on from the messages on the inside cover when something caught her eye. On one of the pages before the text of the book actually started, there was another bit of handwriting. It matched up with John’s penmanship, and simply read “Frequency twenty-eight; in case you want to listen. Frequency thirty; in case you want to talk”. Rose usually kept her radio set to frequency eighteen, which was the station she’d found that played some decent music. It filled the silence, at the very least. But, as she started to turn to the station John had indicated, just to see what it was.

Joseph’s voice came through the speaker of the radio, slightly distorted by the static from a weak signal, but it was his voice without a doubt. She kept the radio on to fill the silence as the rain continued to come down, and turned to the first pages of the book in her hands, starting to read it again. Rose didn’t know how much time went by before she finished the book’s first chapter and marked her page, feeling that it was enough for the day. Joseph’s voice no longer came through the static, but instead, there was music, the sound of a choir singing filled the quiet space. Rose decided to keep the frequency running as she went about a few things, checking on her drying clothes in the bathroom, before going about making dinner. The rain picked up further, coming down in sheets that pounded against the windows and roof, as thunder started to sound and wind howled outside. Luckily, the cabin seemed fairly secure, and the storm didn’t shake her.

As the hour grew late, Rose got changed into her large T-shirt, bringing the radio and book to her bedside and setting them down. For the hell of it, she turned the radio to frequency thirty, but heard nothing but quiet static. After listening for a bit, she simply turned off the device, setting it down, and settled in for the night as the storm went on outside.

Taglist:  @deputyoneill @johnseedthot @deputyshitlordsantana @jacobsmusicbox @farcrying5 @johnseedsplane @rookieseed

#fc5 fanfic #far cry 5 #john seed #oc: rose carter #shot at redemption #SaR

[shesouttasight]

i’m talking openly abt the danny thing again but you can scroll past/not click read more obviously, it is your choice and i most likely will drop it after this, but i had it on my mind because i still see posts/comments about it ✌️

i’ll try not to bring it up again but i know i lost followers and maybe mutuals or people i wanted to be friends with ver the Danny Discourse,

so i’m just reminding you that just because i’ve accepted his apology and truly believe he has changed over the last three years to not be that person anymore, i will not be upset with you if you don’t want to interact with my danny art or even me at all. you are obviously allowed your own feelings and opinions, and this issue is not something cut and dry. islamaphobia/etc are serious issues. i understand.

full and maybe obvious disclosure if you follow my insta, i’m white. so i was raised, whether intentionally or not (my dad was not super/outwardly islamaphobic or racist, he listened to a lot of blues so i wasn’t raised at home with any negative feelings towards people of color thankfully, but he did have certain biases or prejudices ingrained in him that reflected that society as we knew it had trained into him. and in a lot of places, like Small Towns, like maybe a place starting with an M, it still does) with a faulty and tbh mean and uncaring belief system, even if i also did not express it the majority of the time. (this does not excuse me btw!) you may be lying to yourself to say that you have never had any thoughts that were not entirely nice and loving and accepting of people who were not your ethnicity or religion, especially if you are white and were raised in america. (i only say america because i have never been outside of my country, so i cannot speak for other places. also i was in first grade when 9/11 happened so you can imagine what sorts of things adults were telling me at the time.)

but people are capable of change. we can unlearn these things, like i was able to Really begin that process myself in the later years of high school (around the same grade/age group as Danny was if i’m remembering correctly) because people were being open with me and discussing these things and i saw people being called on their mean and really untrue or prejudiced comments and thoughts and actions, all around me.

I am so thankful that I was able to be open to change, but it can take some people longer. sometimes they have to get away from their small town or prejudiced family/whatever else first. this doesnt mean you can’t call them out/correct them though. that is really important. that is helpful for society as a whole.

but i dont know about going back multiple years in someone’s timeline just to find some dirt? but again! i dont know! this maybe wasnt meant as that! they may have not set out for that! i am not super versed in the whole situation, i’m not super steeped in the actual fan discussions/interactions. i dont even know if the person immediately went in to “oh my god drop him!!” mode or what, or if fandom just jumped on it right away. i have zero clue. i do not want to make assumptions.

would i have liked danny to have gotten to saying somehing quicker, obviously, but he did eventually. he could have worded it better i think too. probably had to talk it over with whoever their PR person is/manager? but i’m not sure. he may have just been freaked out and didn’t know how to phrase it. i do not know.

anyway. just try and remember that people can change their viewpoints. ESPECIALLY between being a kid/teen into being an adult. but also, do not let them slide if they say something currently that is shitty and hasn’t been apologized about. just try on your initial calling-out, to think critically about how you want to go about it. i totally get that passions can run high though. especially if you ARE the specific type of person who is being talked negatively about. (try and remember also that you shouldnt talk over the people the comments or actions are actually in reference to, if you are not a part of the group. like i went to a march for Mike Brown and various people of color were passing around a microphone before the march began, and someone who was not a part of the affected group took it to make an announcement that had nothing to do with what the march was about. do not do that. please. this being said if you are a part of the affected groups and you need to tell me something/correct me about anything i’ve said in this post, i would like to hear it.)

obviously this doesnt apply to like, rapists and pedophiles and shit like that. and depending on their age/level of aggression about their beliefs, maybe not even apply to being islamaphobic or racist etc. each situation is more than capable of being different. how they react to you calling them out can be a factor too. like people trying to blame their prejudices on like... medications etc/try to make people forgive them without any apology and commitment to change, because it “wasn’t really their fault, blank MADE them do it/they were just RAISED that way, so they cannot change and shouldnt be expected to!”

god this post is a mess but it’s like 2 am sorry.

basically, if you’re uncomfortable with my stance on the situation, obviously go ahead and unfollow/don’t interact with any of my danny-related posts, if you would not like to.

i respect your feelings. passion about seeing people changing for the good of all the world, is a good thing.

i hope you have a good day!! ✌️🌻💛

#sorry that im not tagging this if you have his name filtered out #i just dont want to push my stuff into the tags #this is meant for current//past/prospective followers