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#i have a fantasy of violently breaking my arms that doesn't lead anywhere i just feel the urge consistently enough that it's a pattern
opia-jpg · 10 months
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#i have a light feeling that my mom might be hinting at something#with the whole. mentioning my mood swings and sensory issues and poor social skills and such#i say i'm unsure because she's not one to be subtle in situations like this? so i feel like i'm projecting#but she did suggest (partially related) going to a psychologist#and the thing about me is that i'm very self aware about my many flaws and therefore have decided#that i can't fix them or that it's not that bad as long as *i know* the issue is there#which is starting to sound like an issue in itself? but i feel like im being way too dramatic every time#i know i'm just in a stressful spot in my life and that it will pass in a few months#but i am starting to seriously consider getting an outsider's perspective. just in case#im feeling down *all* the time lately but there's always a reason to blame so i feel like it's just rotten luck and not something within me#there's not enough time but also too much of it for me to make excuses for not being able to do Anything at all and i feel paralyzed#but isn't it just the everyday terror of being in charge of yourself#i wish i could come up with a definite answer but there isn't one and the childish part of me is so frustrated with it#i have a fantasy of violently breaking my arms that doesn't lead anywhere i just feel the urge consistently enough that it's a pattern#(ive never self harmed i know i won't that's why it's just a fantasy)#i crave complete anonymity i crave deep genuine human connection and i don't want to talk to anyone. ever again.#ive talked with at least three different people partially about those thoughts#but talking about it is difficult and like pulling teeth#im clumsy with my words. can't quite find the precise meaning i want. i stutter and hum and mumble#i hate talking but if i don't i will explode#i want to be taken seriously but saying things outloud makes them sound so harsh and i don't know if it is that serious#but it's a pebble of thought that i can't stop turning around in my head over and over and over until im sick#never! ending! story! jesus christ#vent post#← tagging just in case#pretend you've never read it
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writteninkat · 3 years
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xii - overwhelmed
word count - 2,220
"if i love you was a promise, would you break it if you're honest?"
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You walk towards the classroom with your palms sweating and your heart about to beat right out of your chest. You had just confessed to Katsuki thinking he also felt the same, but all he replied was a lousy 'you don't even know me'.
You furrow your brows, clenching your palms into fists in irritation. How am I so stupid? I came to Japan to prove myself and to that dumb father of mine that I can be a powerful hero! And yet here I am being swept off track by some lousy high school crush!
"Careful- if you stare any harder you're gonna melt holes through the walls." A tired and very familiar voice calls out feom behind you. You turn around, anger still clouding your head as your eyes fall on a violet-haired boy.
"Careful- if you don't do anything about your lack of sleep anytime soon you're gonna collapse." You spat back; suddenly everything around you vexes you. You send a mental message to everyone in school; today you're hot-headed, your patience is as thin as a hair strand and taking out your anger through physical violence seems like an amazing idea right about now.
"Jokes on you, I've been like this my whole life and I've never collapsed." He smirks, causing you to raise a brow. "Okay maybe I never collapsed from my lack of sleep."
"Look what the hell do you want?"
"Well- thought you looked pretty upset." He holds up two pastel yellow-colored papers. "And I just so happen to have two free ice cream passes for that new ice cream place right beside the campus." He takes a look at his watch, "We still have an hour and thirty minutes till the bell rings. What do you say?"
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"And that idiot just says 'you barely even know me'" You wave your hands up, making a dumb face as well as a dumb voice to match, "like hello! I know I barely know you and that's why I feel so upset and conflicted right now! You get what I mean???" You huff back on your seat, shoving the small pink translucent teaspoon in your mouth.
Shinsou nods his head, eyes on his ice cream as he shoves a few scoops in his mouth. "Mmm- this banana flavor tastes amazing. You should try it." He offers his cup to you, making you frown.
"You're such a jerk! I thought you brought me here to let me vent out my anger." You frown, your eyebrows knitting together as you place your cup on the table, leaning back on your seat as you crossed your arms.
"I did. I listened as you vented out your anger to me and we're having ice cream but I never said we were going to talk about the situation." He points out, annoyingly unbothered expression resting on his face as he continues eating his own ice cream.
You look at him in irritation and silence for a few moments, trying to calm yourself before taking your little teaspoon and scooping a bit from his own cup. You shove the scoop inside your mouth, pouting. "The banana tastes amazing." You huff, expression still angry.
Shinsou chuckles lightly, the small smile actually lighting up his usually dark features. "It is, isn't it?" You've only ever met one person with a so-called 'contagious smile' and he was the funny boy you met at the park one day.
Ethan will have to share his spot in my list for 'contagious smiles'. You thought to yourself, letting a smile break your frown as you look down at your ice cream.
"Have you seen the new conjuring movie? It's pretty cool, a solid six out of ten." He shrugs. You shake your head, "I can't watch scary movies. I won't be able to sleep especially now that I live alone."
He raises a brow at you, "Oh come on. We can watch it together through video chat or something. I really wanna see you piss yourself while watching it." He chuckles, causing you to squint your eyes at him. "Is that a challenge?" You point your spoon accusingly at him.
"What if it is? You gonna back out? Loser?" He pushes jokingly, mirroring your squinted eyes. You bring your hand on the table in a fist, "Oh it's on."
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Shinso walks you to your classroom just five minutes before the bell is about to ring. "How can I contact you?" He asks, doing the thing with his hand behind his nape as he looks away. "Here." You tug at his hand, writing down your discord account with a marker. "Call me after the sun sets. I'll be home by then."
He waves you good bye and you step in, almost completely forgetting about why you were annoyed so early in the morning. Your eyes fall on the blond boy, still looking angry as usual. His eyes meet yours for a fraction of a second before your looking towards your seat.
As you sit down, the bell rings and in comes Aizawa, tired as ever. "Today, you will all be choosing your hero names. This has a lot to do with the Pro-Hero draft picks and because you are only first years, any offers can be taken back before you graduate." He explains, pointing at a chart where Todoroki's, Katsuki's and your names are written at the top with thousands of heroes wanting to recruit you.
"You will all spend one week interning with the pro heroes you choose or those who chose you, depending on if you have multiple offers or just one." Aizawa continues to talk about the importance of hero names before Midnight walks in the classroom.
The class begins to cheer in excitement as they all are given boards and markers for their names. The cheering and yelling dies down in a few minutes but the excitement doesn't. You smile, feeling your heart throb at the innocent looks in your classmates' faces.
Each of you all are being called up to present your hero names and as your turn slowly comes closer, your palms begin to sweat and that feeling of not being able to stand properly hits you.
"L/n Y/n. It's your turn, come on up sweetie." Midnight calls for you, curling her fingers a few times. You stand from your seat, walking towards the front, keeping your eyes forward and looking anywhere but Katsuki's eyes.
You flip your board around. "I chose the name Tempest. It means a violent windy storm." Midnight claps her hands, "I love it! Basically telling the villains not to mess with the storm." She cheers, allowing you to walk back to your seat.
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"So! Have you guys chosen an agency yet?" Mina asks, shoveling food in her mouth as Kirishima and Sero follow suit. You shrug your shoulders, "I'm having a difficult time choosing between Hawks' agency or Endeavor's agency. I want to work on my speed but then again, Endeavor's the number two. It'd be a waste to throw this chance away."
"And yet," Denki points his fork at you, "It's also a waste to throw away the chance of working with Hawks. I heard he's the youngest pro right now who has his own agency and is in the top ten."
As you were about to scold the blond for talking with his mouth full, Katsuki marches towards the table, setting his tray down before sitting down beside Kirishima. You look at the empty space beside you and your mood immediately turns sour.
Wow. Sure, he has the right to feel uncomfortable with my sudden confession but to not actually have some type of closure? You sigh, not bothering to finish your food before standing up. You slide your tray to Denki, earning a cheery mouthful 'thanks!' from him before you walk away.
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You walk out the classroom upset, tired and hungry. Your mind races back to the tuna sandwhiches the cafe sold and your mouth immediately begins to water.
"Hey idiot."
All your food fantasies disappear the moment his gruff yet very warm and relaxing voice calls out to you. To make sure you weren't about to embarrass yourself, you look in front of you, searching for someone else only to be greeted by an empty hallway.
Slowly, you turn around, pressing your lips together as you look at Katsuki with the most nonchalant look you could pull, no matter how much you wanted to scowl at him.
"What's up?" You ask, mentally slapping yourself. What's up? What's up??? Who the fuck do you think you are to him, Kirishima??
He looks awaw, walking towards you. "They have new matcha cookies today. I checked before I got here."
You stand there, staring at him for a second, two seconds, five- ten- "Dumbass. Yo. Can you hear me?" Katsuki snaps his fingers in front of you, gaining your attention as he snaps you out of your daze- literally. "Well?"
As much as you want to say yes, accept his offer and just live a happy life, you didn't want to live a confusing one where you get hurt in the end. "I don't see why you have to do this, honestly." You look to your right, looking out the windows.
"We hang out, I feel like you're treating me differently than the others, I feel like I'm special to you, I recognize my feelings, and although I feel conflicted and upset I still confess my feelings to you." You grip onto your bag, "And you respond to me by what- telling me I barely know you?"
You look back at him, the corners of your lips pulled downwards sightly. "Katsuki I- I got the message, okay? Don't do whatever this is to me because from my point of view, you're leading me on cause you can't voice out or even figure out your own feelings." You motion your arms between the two of you. "If you liked hanging out with me, I'm sorry but I gotta keep some distance between the two of us before I go confessing to you again like an idiot."
You stand there, eyes dropped to the floor in silence.
Say something, you idiot! Fucking say something to me! Tell me how you feel- it doesn't matter if it'll hurt me, just say something!
"I'm sorry."
You look up at him, confused. His brows are knitted together in dejection as his shoulders sag momentarily.
You feel your eyes prickle with tears as you nod, pressing your lips together. "Okay." You click your tongue, turning away as you walked from the unnervingly quiet boy.
As you reach your apartment, the sun has already set, you're tired, your cheeks are stained and are still being stained with tears and your phone is blaring.
You answer it without another thought, Shinsou's tired and relaxed voice giving you a soft 'hey'. You can hold it in much longer as you break down into sobs.
"Hey, hey, what's wrong? Talk to me, Y/n." He sounds genuinely concerned. You sob for a few moments, letting out all the emotion you've pent up inside you as you walked back to your apartment.
"I-I just-"
Another call interrupts the two of you, making you furrow your brows. "Hold on-" You sob, your eyes scanning down your screen to see your mom calling you. You put your call with Shinsou on hold, answering your mom.
"Hey mom!" You cheer, trying to act as gleeful as possible. "Hey baby! So I heard you have a boyfriend, your aunt Miwa sent me a picture of the two of you in the paintball place? I just thought maybe you wanted to know about that boy's abrasive and violent past?"
He's not your boyfriend.
"What- you looked into him?" You yell.
"Well I had to! It's my first time my baby has a boyfriend. Anyway, I don't mean to be that mom but I don't think he's a good fit for you, honey. He's bullied countless students in middle school and after observing how he acted in the sports festival, I don't think that boy changed at all." Your mother does sound truly concerned for you but everything seemed to be too much for you today.
Before you can even think of the sentences you want to say, you hear a knock on your door. You sigh, pacing towards it as you pull it open, brows furrowing in anger at the sight of your father in front of you.
"Y/n I just want a second chance-"
You yell.
You yell out your frustrations, your sadness, your hesrtsches, everything. Every single emotion you felt today just came pouring out as you yelled from the top of your lungs.
Your body falls to the floor as your limbs begin feeling like jell-o and your head begins to spin. You hear your father ordering his guards around frantically, but his words are all muffled and unclear. You begin seeing double- seeing two of your father really isn't helping right now.
"Hey, Y/n, baby keep your eyes open for me. I'll bring you to the hospital just-"
"Can all of you just shut the fuck up for a moment?" You whisper weakly before darkness swallows you up once again.
It's cold. It's dark. You're alone.
You're always alone.
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umccall71 · 5 years
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Chapter 18
Characters: Prince Liam and MC Lady Saige
Rating:Mature content includes profanity, sexual content,talks about depression.
Word Count:3471
Disclaimer:All characters are property of Pixelberry except my OC Lady Saige. The use of these characters are for entertainment only and i am only borrowing them.
Summary:After a summer of a lifetime,Prince Liam thought he could have it all.He was carefree, free, and sharing time with the woman of his dreams.When life was easy, a balancing act between love and duty, he realizes his truths are lies, wrong is right, and decisions do have consequences. Lady Saige never imagined she would be one of his consequences.When an utter act horror throws her world into a tailspin.
Warning: This series contains subject matter of depression,pregnancy, violence, and sensitive sexual content.The story may trigger certain individuals. Please be advised. If you are reading this series you are acknowledging you are 18+.
A/N:Sorry for the long delay.Things have been hectic in my life for a bit.I had to take some time to focus on my health. Thanks for your understanding and support.
Song inspiration for this chapter is Adele, “To make you feel my Love”
@eadanga @ao719 @silviasutton1989 @rainbowsinthestorm @the-soot-sprite @jared2612 @sashatrr @jovialyouthmusic @smalltalk88 @custaroonie @kuladekiwi @whenyourheartskipsabeat @marietrinmimi @furiousherringoperatortoad @gibbles82 @choices97 @fantasy-of-fiction @romanticatheart-posts @drakesensworld @simsvetements @blackcoffee85 @3pawandme @indiacater @hopefulmoonobject @elles-choices @carabethpow
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LIam sat vigil by her bedside as she laid unconscious...connected to monitors… beeping in the background. Hours ticked on as his friends tried to convince him to rest , or eat, or to stretch his legs...the answer was always, “no, I'm not going anywhere.”
Olivia and Drake felt helpless in this time of need, watching what should be the happiest time in their friend’s lives, married, in love, expecting… they had a bright future ahead of them . THey had Cordonia eager to meet the queen and anticipating the royal heir.The couple spent the night curled up with Liv in Drake’s arms . They were so wrapped up in the moment that they had fallen asleep ,no thought to being discovered.This was the most at peace Olivia had been … in years. She allowed herself to lean on Drake in this time of need.
Liam was jolted from his spot early the next morning when the doctor had crept into check on the queen and to give an update. He carefully avoided giving a full prognosis upon liam's arrival. He had to be certain to give any hope, in what would be the first in many devastating days.
The doctor bowed when he noticed liam's weary ocean blue eyes meet his own chocolate specs. “Your majesty, I am sorry to disturb you. May I speak to you once again in private? I need to be sure that you are aware of where we stand and the next hours for the queen.``he seemed nervous as liam gestured toward the door leading to the hall.
King Liam, Liam Rys… who would best receive this news ? Would the solemn,stoic king allow the severity to pierce his armor? Would it be LIam, husband to Saige , an emotional being… listening to the fate of his family that up unto several months ago he never realized how badly he wanted it?
Liam nodded to acknowledge to the doctor to proceed with the news of what was expected. The doctor let out a deep breath, considering his words carefully, “sir, when your wife was bought in , she had swelling, bruising, and blood around her face and… down between her legs. WE ...we found that she had severe tearing around the entrance of her vagina , and traumatic rectal hematoma after she was.. Raped.”, he paused watching the king’s eyes stretch in horror.
“Sir… do you need a moment?”,he wanted to make sure that liam was open to hear everything that needed to be shared. “We can take a moment if needed.”
Liam shook his head as he fought to hide his heartbreak as he advised, “no… go on.”
“Your majesty, the trauma from the violent way she was entered and the act , caused her body to shut down. Upon her ultrasound we discovered that your wife had an empty amniotic sac and a viable embryo. Meaning that the queen was pregnant with twins, but for whatever reason the body rejected the second embryo. She is still carrying a single child.”,he breathed deeply.
Liam paused,wiped his face filled with shock and pain, “Are you telling me that we conceived twins, but only one child survived?”he felt a lump growing in his throat and his mind racing trying to process what he had just been told.
The doctor interjected, “sir, the next 48 hours after the ordeal your wife has been through are crucial...critical to her pregnancy. She lost a lot of blood and there’s the internal tear near her uterus and the area between her vaginal area and her rectum. She will need around the clock monitoring and care until we are certain… that she has made it over the hump.”
Liam bit his inner cheek trying to hold back the overwhelming emotions that were flooding his mind . He briskly shook his head in the direction of the doctor tapped to care for his queen, and learning there was a greater loss than he had imagined. The doctor offered a sympathetic smile as he patted the king on his shoulder and left him to deal with his inner turmoil.Liam leaned forward ,resting his hands on his knees trying to hold himself and accept that this was no dream, or nightmare. He internally tried to prepare himself, “I need to be strong for them, I cannot let her see me ...in any other state, than composed. He was interrupted from his thoughts by Bastien clearing his throat, making his presence known.
“Your majesty, I am trying to locate Travis to determine where he was during the attack and how he could allow anyone to enter the royal quarters. I have a locator out find him and have him deliver answers.”
Liam barked in a loud, kingly manner, “ I need more than answers! I trusted him to care for my wife, my family, and he failed on both fronts, “he seethed.” Bastien, no one gets any sleep until the animal that did this to my wife… is in my custody”,his nostrils flared and he clenched his jaw as he tried to pull himself together. ``there is no if, it had better be when we get this monster in custody… just go … handle it… now!” Bastien promptly bowed and took off toward the exit. Within mere moments, the door to the private waiting room flew open from observing the raised voice of the king.
“Li… what is going on?… we can hear you throughout this floor.``Drake walked over standing eye to eye with his best friend, eyes pleading for liam to open up… let him help. “What is it brother? I have rarely seen you get upset, let alone raise your voice.``Drake just stared allowing him time to share what was angering him.
Liam’s blue eyes became clouded with tearing on the brink of breaking free.Drake and Olivia ushered Liam into Saige’s room to speak in private. He shook his no to the location, when they turned and led him across the hall to the private waiting room. The room was colored in a sage green paint, faux greenery on the coffee tables, an off white lamp struggling to emit light, and a polyester couch. Drake closed the blinds to the hall to provide a sanctuary for his friend that was struggling to make sense of the events of the last 48 hours. Liam exhaled a labored breath that seemed to open pandora’s box. The tears slowly tracked down his face. “How… how do I help make sense of what happened , when I have no clue myself?”he spoke through broken sobs and a whisper. “I was just joking and laughing with her the night before she was found in … in our home.”,he became dizzy from the thoughts battling within. “Saige is my life, she is everything I never knew I needed. She epitomizes every possible dream. So why.. Why would someone hurt her so savagely?! We were counting the days until I got home.. Until I got back to them. She shared how she was exhausted and had an early dinner to turn in. She just needed to rest… she was looking forward to her appointment the next morning. She laughed about meeting you, and how you would never leave alone, ``he forced a small smile. “I had even mentioned asking if you would stay with her until I got home… she didn't want you to feel like you were babysitting. She told me you had a life of your own, a home of your own to take care of. She .. she didn't want anyone to feel that she was a burden.Guys she even turned me down from traveling to Italy so she could be a good mom from the start and keep her appointment, `` he rambled on. “Doesn't she know I could have had an army of doctors to travel with us. What is the use of being a king, if you can't protect your own damn family?!”, he turned and punched a hole in the sheetrock wall.
Olivia covered her mouth and turned away from Liam as she too fought back tears for her friend’s loss and expected pain.Drake subtly reached out to touch Olivia’s softly. That tender moment meant so much to her, she turned around, flashing a grateful smile before kneeling down in front of Liam. “Oh Liam… I'm so sorry for you both. You lost a child too, but you can be there for the other baby .”,she quietly spoke gaging his reaction.
“Thanks Liv… thank you both for being here . THis has shown me that you have to hold on tightly to the people that are important in your life. Once we weather this storm, Saige will not go a day without knowing how important she is in my life”,he sniffled. “ You two.. You need to cherish each other.” Olivia and Drake’s eyes both stretched and they launched into a denial . Liam cut them off , “I know that you two are involved… I have known for a few weeks, accidentally of course. I'm happy for you both, just enjoy whatever this is that developing between you.”, liam forced a smile and left the room to return to the bedside of the love of his life.
When liam re-entered he quietly approached the bed, studying the injuries of her face. Each mark telling a story of an abomination that no one should ever have to endure, especially in their home.He softly traced her porcelain skin, darkened by the pigment of the bruises and swelling. He took her left in his own, running his thumb over the set of diamond rings. He grimaced as his red rimmed eyes and heavy heart sat by silently chiding himself for ever subjecting her to this kind of pain. “My love… all I ever wanted was your happiness… hopefully that was with me. I wish that I can away all of your pain, all of the heartaches, all of feelings that I know you will take on. A soul as pure as yours , should never have to face the kind of….torment that you have. I know that what you did… you did for me Saige. If you had your way...you would have remained in the states. You are here...because of me. I want you to feel my love… feel everything we experienced on our wedding day.I don't want these impending nightmares to creep into the corners of your mind.”
Liam fished out his smart phone and thumbed to the playlist that he and Saige found strength in when things were rough trying to move forward. His finger landed on one of their favorite songs. He nodded and locked his eyes on her still form pressing play. The sound of Adele quietly filling the room ,drowning out the beeps of the monitors.
When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I could offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love
When the evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one there to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love
I know you haven't made your mind up yet
But I will never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment that we met
No doubt in my mind where you belong
I'd go hungry; I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling down the avenue
No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love
The storms are raging on the rolling sea
And on the highway of regret
The winds of change are blowing wild and free
You ain't seen nothing like me yet
I could make you happy, make your dreams come true
Nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends of the Earth for you
To make you feel my love
To make you feel my love
As the melody came to an end, Liam gently pressed his lips to her hand that wore his rings..the symbols of his love and commitment. “Baby, please open your eyes and come back to me. I love you… I miss you so much”,his eyes glossed over as heard a soft knock on the door.
“Come in”. He whispered never removing his glance from her face.
“Liam, we came to check if there is any change.Has she regained consciousness yet?”,Olivia questioned . “It’s been a long time without her waking up. I wish we knew who did this to her. We all know she never deserved something like this to happen.”The anger was bubbling to the surface in scarlett duchess’s voice.
Bastien tapped on the door to alert his king that he was back. “Sir, still no word from Travis. It’s not like him to abandon his post without a word.”
Liam furrowed his brow and ran his hand through his blonde hair, “someone has got to know who did this , and why. Travis has to have answers as to how this transpired in our home ...against my wife.”,his words were stern, but low.
The monitors were low and steady when the silence was interrupted by a barely audible whisper.”He not only knows, he was there ...helping.”,soft whimpers and pained breaths were heard in that hospital room. Saige slowly opened her eyes as she focused on the bodies in her room. “Ow”,she flinched at the sudden awareness of her pain.
Liam turned his gaze back to her and every set of eyes landed on her battered face. “Love...did I hear you right, he was there? Travis was there while you were attacked? God I have never been so relieved to see your gorgeous eyes opened. Was Travis hurt too?”,Liam couldn't stop asking question after question.
Saige stared up at the ceiling as her eyes began to water ,dampening her swollen cheeks and eyes. “No Liam, he was there holding me down as I was being …”she trailed off.
“Love, do you remember what happened? Any detail no matter how small would help us to find who did this to you.”Liam’s eyes darted around the room from Bastien,to Drake,to Olivia, back to Saige..eagerly listening to her gather the courage to share her harrowing experience.
“Liam...you don't have to look very far..the person, the people that did this are in your palace.”,she started to become agitated. “He came back to finish what he started...I tried to stop him Liam.. I tried to fight him,but they held me..they slammed me on the floor.Travis and … and another guard held me down while he did this to me”,she fought through her tears to explain how she lost control that night. “When I hung up with you I tried to go to sleep, but I heard a noise coming from the living area. I thought nothing of it at first since I had said good night to the guard before turning in for the night”,she slowly shook her head in denial as recounted her nightmare. “I walked down the hall and decided to get a snack while I was up”, her breathing became labored as she spoke.
“Saige...you don't have to do this right now,''he tried to calm her down.
“Liam, i never wanted anything like this to happen. I tried, I swear I tried to stop him, but he…``.her hand flew up to her neck instinctively to the very spot that bared the darkened laceration around her throat. “I felt a hand , grab me by my throat in the darkness. I couldn't breathe… Liam.. the baby.. I , I tried so hard to keep him safe, `` her body began to shake.
Liam tried to move closer to console her,to comfort her…”Nooooo, no don't touch me!” The nurse dashed into the room to observe why her vitals were elevated.
“Your majesty... there are too many people in the room and it is causing her distress.”,she advised respectfully. Liam shook his head. “Of course,'' he gestured for the others to leave the room. Bastien and Drake left heading to the hall, Olivia found a dark corner in the room and sat down, cringing as she listened to her dear friend relive this nightmare.
“He hit me Liam.. he hit me and I can't tell you how many times exactly. It hurt so badly. I just wanted him to stop, but he covered my mouth as the guards held me down and spread my legs...I tried to lock my legs,but they were so rough and pinned me to the floor in our residence. He told them to move the top from me… I was wearing your shirt and they tore it from me Liam”,she fought to make him understand that she was by no means a willing participant.He ripped underwear and shorts off of me. Al i could smell was scotch and stale cigars. He scoffed at me as he said that i would feel a real man now… he forced himself into me and I felt a fire, it hurt so bad. He blamed me for your anger..for the state of your relationship.”
Liam’s mind was running a hundred miles aware, thinking who “he” was. He felt his chest tighten as he wanted nothing more than to take her pain away. “Saige, love… please baby, if you remember, please tell me who he is,he pleaded quietly trying to tamper his rage in front of her.
Saige tried to lift her head to look at him , but she turned away ,embarrassed as if she somehow failed him, failed her child ...failed herself. There was not a dry eye in the room as they listened intently,her eyes trained on the window…”your father...it was Constantine”was all she could say.
Olivia watched as Liam encased a fiery glare as he chewed his inner cheek. She recognized the same feeling in herself. She subtly gestured to him that she felt his pain. Olivia knew the internal battle that liam felt after his father had tried to hurt her before. Now..to know that he had succeeded in stealing something precious from her..from them. He had robbed Saige of peaceful nights for months, now... there was no peace to be shared for a long time to come.She stood up and dismissed herself to meet with Drake. She felt as if she were suffocating trying to tamper down her screams, her cries, her fury to rid this kingdom of this animal. Olivia’s emerald green eyes , locked with Drake’s chocolate eyes. She needn't say a word, she leaned into him and stifled her cries until he led her into the private waiting room. The words escaped her ass she wanted so desperately to express the pain, the personal hell that Saige was going through...had went through. She had no doubt that she would relive that hell over and over again. She hasn't learned the worst of it yet. Saige had no idea that she had lost a twin.
Drake wrapped her in his arms and felt days of worry, frustration, and anger flowing from her body as she dropped to the floor crying inconsolably.
**
Liam dipped down to make eye contact with his wife, “love… I'm here ... we are going to get through this together. I love you and you are so very brave. Your not alone.”, he wiped his tear stained face with the back of his hand. “Give me one moment, I need to speak with Bastien..very briefly.”he was met with silence as she continued to stare at the window. He rose and walked out to the hallway.
“Bastien, I want every available royal guard on this. I need Travis and the other guard picked up immediately! You need to deliver my father to the palace cell personally. I also want you to summon Queen mother Regina to this hospital, this is not my request… this is my command. I don't give a damn if she feels slighted, she will come here ...now.”
Liam promptly turned and went to join his queen back in her room...back in her private hell.
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