#i feel frozen today and want to doomscroll and nap all day lmao.. not deal w reality (unhealthy i know)

[oscill4te]

if i absolutely must go get a new phone number i am honestly so reluctant to even update my family. partially for petty reasons, the other half bc i always feel my heart lurch whenever i have to contact them.

#rationally i should ask my father why he canceled my line maybe it was a mistake? but im scared of him even to this day #my brain just blocks out memories. my roommate was reading old texts from 2021 out loud for fun and #smthn with my father came up and i flatout didnt remember any of the stuff my roommate was reading out to me.. #my brain just cuts away memories of my family especially my dad. i like to pretend he doesn't exist. ik its not healthy though #but. the brain does what it must do to survive i guess #anyway.... i dont wanna give him my new number (if for some reason i can't get my old one back today) #txt #i feel frozen today and want to doomscroll and nap all day lmao.. not deal w reality (unhealthy i know) #i will eventually force myself out of this state. sometimes my bed feels like this sticky trap i cant get out of ykwim