#i don't think we know enough about amestris to determine if sinophobia would be a thing there but

[farginen]

moving on with life and trying to heal and just live are all good concepts and i do love that for riza. but it comes at a high price and sometimes it's just hard.

it's not just the memories from war, or the guilt and remorse. all of that too ofc, but also the complete 180 in her life plans. having to find purpose in life and readjust her whole outlook on her objectives and who she is an individual and try to adjust to normalcy and ~ living in a society ~ which she never had the chance to do because she didn't think she would live for it anyways.

even having her son, whom she loves more than anything and brings so much happiness and contentment to her life, riza is still plagued with anxiety and frankly scared. it's not entirely rational, she knows this much. but a lot of her fears are grounded in very real concerns.

what if she's just not a good parent since she didn't have a good childhood? what if something happens to her baby and she has to bury him like the children she buried in ishval? what if someone targets him for what he looks like?

the best she can do is protect him for as long as she can and try to prepare him and give him all the tools to succeed in a world that is often unkind and unjust.

and i think that's also reflective of her work and how much she can realistically do to make amends.

#i don't think we know enough about amestris to determine if sinophobia would be a thing there but #the possibility is there #and even though the conflict with ishval was essentially fabricated there's enough to believe the homunculi picked on them bc they were an #ethnic minority. idk. i'm not set on anything here maybe ppl writing these characters should add their 2 cents. #the point is. healing is good but it's also painful and an never ending difficult process. #and part of that process is for riza to realise there's a lot of stuff she won't be able to 'fix' in the world #stuff that her own child is going to have to deal with and she won't be able to shield him from it forever #idk i feel like thats a pretty clear illustration of how royai trying to make things better is still only two people #i'm sure they do a lot of good. but it's unlikely they would single handedly end racism and xenophobia and all systemic problems that #allowed the war to happen. sure they can still try and that's what matters i guess #that wasnt even what this post was about originally but uh #here we are i guess thank you brain #headcanons. #long post #cw child death mention