#i don't really believe in like. banning people from doing dumb shit that gives them brain damage | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fedorahead · 3 months

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I don't say this lightly (and this is a heavy post that deals with subject matter you'll likely want to scroll past)

I started using tumblr again when I kept getting banned from facebook for being me (read: an edgy douche)

I've never felt more seen, accepted, or included on here. People run with jokes instead of being angry they don't get them. There is no in-group out-group dynamic, it's all just participate as much as you want.

There's a lot of love on tumblr.

I spent my whole life under the control of my father. He didn't have much time to fuck me up, but he managed even with only partial custody. I stopped talking to him at 15, reconnected at 18 for a little while and stopped again because I had awful nightmares every time I saw him. Tried again in my early 20s. I always wanted a dad, and the one I had, I thought, might be salvageable.

I lived in that delusion for 31 years. Hoping one day he would grow up, too.

This weekend, I had the epiphany that everyone else around me already knew (I think). That the abusive behaviours weren't an uncontrolled fluke or rough days. That my entire childhood I was being groomed. For what? I never saw myself in other peoples' stories because I never had firsthand, conscious experiences with stuff that other people can point to and say "this, this was the abuse". But I have stories other people told, and then recanted, and the narrative that they were lying the whole time or it was a misunderstanding. And I believed that grey area because I did not remember what he was accused of doing, and nothing exists if you can't prove it to yourself.

Every aspect of who I am has been influenced by my dad's choice to raise me to become his partner. I dunno if it was conscious or unconscious, but I know it fucked me up so bad I spent my whole life running, changing names, hiding, trying to help people and never knowing why I feel the things I do.

This has always been reinforced by people judging me. He harnessed my fear of rejection, taught me to fight the system in specific ways that would give me more power, and adhere to a lot more social expectations than I bucked. To come across as a rebel while maintaining total control. The critical, anxious voice in my head that sounded like rational care and worry and protecting myself has always been him, telling me not to do the things he was disgusted with, telling me how to prepare for situations so I would have the upper hand, everything to become someone that impressed him. And the whole time, I thought I was impressing myself. Meanwhile, people around me liked what I was doing and validated it and reinforced it and then when I broke character, people I thought were friends would turn on me right away.

He wanted me to be as charismatic as him, and I am, and it meant that a lot of people saw me the way he saw me. And a lot of people have recognized and exploited that vulnerability. And I kept thinking the trauma was from *them*, but honestly I got to them broken and I don't really think they could have broken me more.

Tumblr doesn't give a shit if I'm charismatic or if I adhere to social expectations. If my clothes don't fit or don't hide my legs or belly nobody on here will notice. If I wanna be sexy or funny or creative or angry, there are people on here who will support it.

I'd never experienced that kind of freedom before and I genuinely couldn't have figured out how much I was still under his thumb in the world where everybody scrutinizing me kept me firmly in place. I saw glimpses of freedom and never experienced it until I came here and it was genuine.

Thank you, tumblr, for giving me enough room to look back at the person I was pretending to be clearly for the first time.

Thank you for empowering me to be disgusting, slutty, dumb, clumsy, baffling, awkward, ugly, tasteless, and confused without giving me a moral burden tied to each one. I'm not a terrible person, I'm a pretty good one. And I can be flawed and fucked up and still be a pretty good person. And no matter how many people tried to tell me that, I would never feel it until I had a place to genuinely experience it firsthand.

Thank you 💚

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thepariahcontinuum · 1 year

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For the worm power oc.

A striker 9/ mover 8

When this cape touches an object for even a second it allows him to compleet control over the movement of said object. All he has to do is think after touching something and what ever hes has touched wil go there as fast or as slow as he wants.

As long as the object isn't to big for his power to take hold of it he can move it with compleet ease so it's no more difficult for him to move a skyscraper then it is to move a single piece of paper. And it's just as easy to 10 million grains of sand as it is to move one.

He can us this power on inanimate object and on himself.

Ooh a 9/8 rating, a bit of a powerhouse then.

The way the power is described makes me think of both the 'Contact telekinesis' thing that Superboy had/has (I don't keep track of retcons) instead of actual super strength....And also Rune/Scribe.

It was the Rune angle that immediately gave me some ideas of where to go with this....But since I refuse to make a nazi oc for these asks I'm gonna take it away from the obvious.

This is a Ward whose personal situation is an interesting mix of Golem and Shadow Stalker's circumstances. Specifically he was a kid who fell down the alt-right pipeline; basically he started out as that racist kid in X-Box live chats and a deliberate edge lord until a group like the Heron Clan who helped funnel capes to E88 found him, he hadn't triggered at this point and he wasn't really a true believer in white supremacism or anything else.... He was desperate for attention and saying the most heinous shit to get it.

Eventually talking had to become doing and the dumb fuck triggered during his initiation into a far right group, at which point he promptly bolted and ran for the hills. (Also side note, he can't actually use his power on himself due to Manton limits but he can use it on his clothes and that's how he gives the illusion of being able to fly, which is how he escaped, like what Shatterbird does with glass)

He ran, was picked up by the PRT who got him away from the group he'd been part of, but also used the fact he'd been involved to basically strongarm him into the wards, because they're not letting someone that powerful wander around as a free agent if they can help it.

He's ended up on the same Wards team as previous OCs Fightback and Chokepoint, which has actually worked wonders in getting him to start unpacking his previous actions and behaviours and trying to do better because....Well Chokepoint is a prick and nobody wants to be like that guy. He was also Specifically kept away from Brockton Bay, because putting him in the same city as E88 was a death sentence and also oddly enough he's a fan of Uber and Leet.

His powers are good enough and broad enough in scope that he could have just gone for something generic and heroic, but since he's an edgy little bastard and has the ability to back his shit talking up he can also afford to go with a theme and narrow his focus down... he wanted to go with knives and just rain blades on people but was told no. Instead he goes with Bolas, some of which are Tinkertech or have the weighted balls replaced with Containment Foam grenades.

Costume wise, all black bodysuit with a black hoodie over it and a harness with all of his bolas and other shit to throw at people on it, with a chest-shield/backpack that's somewhere between the Green Power Ranger's Dragon shield and a stylised pair of batwings reaching around from his back....He uses his powers on that to levitate himself and drops in on opponents, just telekinetically trick-shotting them with Bolas and catching them off guard. His face is covered by the hood and a mask that's totally not Reaper from Overwatch. He also an absolute dick and talks the most shit whilst doing it, to the point where he has been banned from interviews or speaking to the press and bystanders.

Cape name: Nightfall (Because it sounds badass and all of his other suggestions were vetoed)

#Wormblr #worm web serial #parahumans #wildbow #worm oc #DangerousArbiterGentlemen

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jungw8ns · 3 years

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GOING TO AN ESCAPE ROOM WITH ENHYPEN !

PAIRING: boyfriend!enha x gn!reader. GENRE: established relationship, fluff, crack. WARNINGS: profanity (not that much tho), mentions of death (?). WORD COUNT: 100 - 200 each member.

HEESEUNG:

the two of you were so pumped playing an escape room together for the first time that the other people in line had to calm you guys down (which was trully embarrassing to say the least 🤐🤐)

he was looking at the ranking board filled with pictures of players that had succeeded in the shortest amount of time and he just wanted nothing more than to see both your faces on there

but anyways, we all know how competitive heeseung gets 🕴️

oh boy let me tell you, this guy WAS SPEEDRUNNING IT but not the kind you were thinking

the second the timer had started he was literally SPRINTING AROUND THE ROOM LOOKING FOR CLUES YET COMPLETELY MISSING THEM 🏃‍♂️💨💨💨

while he was busy running around, you were picking up the little details in the room and in no time managed to open a few locks

"y/n look i found– oh 😐😑😐"

HE WAS SULKING PLSSS 😭😭😭

when you noticed him standing from afar staring at you with his arms crossed, you called him to solve this one puzzle you already did

*gasps* "oh no! babe i don't understand how to do this, please help me 😔😔🤥🙏🙏"

he had to bite his lower lip to stop himself from letting out that cocky grin but it got out eventually

"oh it's so easy sweetheart, just put this here and then voila! 😉"

when the two of you escaped you suprisingly got to take a polaroid with him home after ranking 2nd in the records

heeseung was the one who held onto it tho, placing it underneath his clear phonecase for safekeeping <3

JAY:

GOD THIS DUDE

THE ESCAPE ROOM WASN'T EVEN THAT SCARY AND YET EVERYTIME YOU GUYS OPEN A LOCK OR A DOOR HIS FIGHT OR FLIGHT INSTINCTS COME UP 😭😭👊👊

"y/n stay behind me >:(("

"um, babe, you do realize that's just a door right?"

"WE'LL BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY?? THE STAFF COULD'VE PROGRAMMED IT TO GROW LEGS?? 😵🧐🧐"

you knew you shouldn't have played horror games with him a few nights ago cause he looked like he was about to lose his mind 😔

you had to shove his ass aside and move on to the next mission cause the both of you knew that he was stalling 🏌️‍♀️

jay was being extra clingy the whole time you were playing, he'd either link arms with you or hold hands (he's literally so adorable) 💞💞

BUT THEN YOU THOUGHT OF DOING A PRANK ON HIM

while you were roaming around the room trying to solve a puzzle, you saw this horse mask on a nearby table

and so you made sure jay was distracted and put on the mask

you could've NOT worn the dusty old thing but where was the fun in that?

"jay can you come here for a sec?"

you hid behind the wall beside the door frame waiting for him to come into your sight and attacked him

now, how about we guess what happens next?

a. he faints

b. he runs away

or c. he slaps you in the face and forces you to buy him food for the rest of the night

if you guessed c then YAY! YOU'RE CORRECT 🥳🎉🎉🎊

THIS HOE SLAPS YOU AS HE SHOULD

"$##/@+(+'£%(:?!!)&£**/*%@"

when he finally takes off the mask like those scenes in scooby doo he's never felt so betrayed in his life

"i- I TRUSTED YOU 😭😭😭 YOU BETTER BUY ME FOOD LATER, I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS, THE BETRAYAL???? LITERALLY UNPROVOKED?????"

he wouldn't stop side eyeing you until you guys finally pulled up on the mcdonalds drive thru

"hi, can i get two um– bts meals please? 😒😒 and two oreo mc flurries 🙄🙄 and also large fries 😐😐"

sane (1/3)

would be trailing behind you like a little puppy (i love him so much 😭😭😭)

he either has his arm linked with yours or held hands every five minutes

JAKE:

really focused on the puzzles he's doing but the second he hears you call out his name for help he's there beside you with the sweetest smile

but anyways, mans was POPPING OFF the entire time you were playing

he was solving problem after problem in no time (he wanted to impress you is why he activated his inner flash ⚡⚡) but he did let you play tho, the last thing he wanted to do was make you pissed at him for hogging all the games

def buried jake with compliments and forehead kisses right after ❤️__❤️

and so the two of you got out in like an hour and a few which you were very proud of

"you were so cool today babe, good job !!"

"aww thank you angel 😊😊"

sane (2/3)

SUNGHOON:

would be linking pinkies with you the whole time, only letting go whenever the both of you had to solve something that needed two or more people

there was this one game tho where he had to arm wrestle this literal hand lever to open the door to the last room (yea...don’t ask why, the staffs were pretty weird 😬😬)

it made him enjoy the experience a bit more as it was only the two of you playing instead of getting accompanied by strangers

HGAWAHSGDHSGHDA PLSS THIS GUY

“oh this’ll be easy, y/n step aside, i’ll handle this 😏😏😏”

idk if you were supposed to think about how handsome he looked with his serious expression on and his veiny hands coming into frame or be worried for him because the lever was REAL HARD to pull that his veins looked like they were going to pop any second soon, you stepped in and helped him tho cause you were a good s/o <3

from a spectators point of view, the two of you looked like y’all were about shit your pants but the two of you eventually succeeded on beating it, immediately dragging him to the next room which had a sofa in it, laying down to catch your breaths

cliché moment ahead ⚠️⚠️

the two of you shared a few laughs before standing up on the empty space, held hands and started to jump in circles to celebrate your success 💃💃

yupp, y’all were never going back to that hellhole again

very stubborn at first, he wanted nothing to do with the game but then you held him at gunpoint by saying:

SUNOO:

"please just this once or else i'll revoke your mint choco ice cream rights 🔫🔫🔫"

"BUT IT'S SCARY IN THERE BABE :((("

"it won't be that scary sunshine, besides, i'll be ready to 🤜💥 yk?? trust me babe i would never let anyone hurt you <33"

kinda pissed since you blackmailed him into the place and also bc he wanted to play bumper cars and dance mania but he yea he caved in pretty quick 😋😋

(y/n let him play his games in peace tf >:(((( )

once you guys got in tho he realized how normal it was and that it was not terrifying at all

THE EPITOME OF CLINGY OMFG

he wouldn't stop back hugging you and you couldn't bring yourself to push him away to play the games so you just let him walk behind you with his arms on your shoulders 😩😩

(y'all were walking kinda funny but don't tell sunoo that 🤫🤫🤫)

yea the two of you ended up escaping with a whopping 2 hours and a few minutes

but it was the effort that counts so A+++++ for the both if you 😜👍👍👍

sane (3/3)

JUNGWON:

was the one who suggested going, he even searched on naver about really good escape room places to visit and was overall really looking forward it

he liked going to places and having fun with you so it wasn't a shock how his eyes were literally crescents and his dimples were so evident

yea he literally rushed the both of you to the place that you were the first in line 😵

while waiting for the staff to finish setting up he was playing with your connected hands like 🖐️✊🖐️✊ (so precious 💞💞)

"y/n why are you taking so long 😭😭 what if they close and we end up not solving a single lock, hurry up por favorrr 😩🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏"

when they finally lead you to the room he was kind of surprised that they had separated the two of you into different spaces (like the one with txt where they had the answers to the other member's puzzles yk???)

he was locked inside a telephone stand while you were handcuffed in the main room

dw the two of you reunited after a few minutes cause jungwon was rushing his lock to get to you 🤭

you both were progressing at an average pace and it made you guys a lot more closer (not that you guys weren't before but you get what i mean)

after you guys escaped the two of you went to eat curry and talked about the whole experience 😋✌️✌️✌️

this boy literally dragged you in the escape room with him

NIKI:

HE DIDN'T EVEN GIVE YOU TIME TO REFUSE HE JUST 😐👉🚪

"ok masterchefs, in order to test your abilities we must go through series of puzzles and make it out alive, understood?"

he tried ignoring how confused you were and went on to try and get you guys to escape

HE'S LAUGHING AT YOU FOR WHATEVER REASON AND OBV YOU LAUGH ASWELL CAUSE WHO WOULDN'T??? his laugh is so contagious pls 🤖🤖 he was so close to d wording cause he couldn't breathe from laughing too much

yea.. you guys spent so much time laughing at each other for being so dumb at this that you ended up playing 'till closing time

spoiler alert: he fails on doing anything cause the second you made eye contact with him this child collapses 😍🤩

GIRL SO EMBARRASSING 🤡🤡

THE STAFF KICKED THE BOTH OF YOU OUT AND NOW YOU GUYS WERE BANNED FROM THE PLACE ☠️☠️

"haunted house next weekend???"

"BET"

NOTE – god they were WAY funnier in my head but yeah.... i love them so much AND OMFG HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN HEESEUNG’S SELCAS LAST NIGHT???!?@??#?@?!?@ HE’S NOT REAL WTF ⁉️❓❓⁉️

also, idk why BUT EVERY TIME I SAVE A DRAFT the paragraphs get scrambled?? £!?) 6=6) 🤣😂💔💔🤣🤣😂💔 it's so annoying but anyways, ilysm pls stay safe and have a great day <33

#enhypen #enhypen drabbles #enhypen reactions #enhypen imagines #enhypen fluff #enhypen x gender neutral reader #heeseung x reader #jay x reader #jake x reader #sunghoon x reader #sunoo x reader #jungwon x reader #niki x reader #jungw8ns

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