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#i don't know what this is but it's done i tell youuu hwhat
sesamestreep · 3 months
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30 Day Writing Challenge - Day 4
Write about your MC’s personal style (from this list) ➸ set in the Bakeoff AU, before the events of summer came like cinnamon, so sweet and referencing an event from the first chapter of @firstelevens original fic in the series (sugar pie, honey bunch) and yes, I'm aware this is a huuuuge stretch for this prompt, don't worry about it!
Karen’s just left them to go get another round from the bar when Foggy’s phone starts ringing. On the screen, a photo of Daisy looking comically crestfallen while holding a ruined sufflé pops up and Foggy swipes to accept the call immediately.
“Hey, Daisy, what’s up?” he asks, aiming for casual but…well, Daisy’s roughly his age and avoids talking on the phone as much as anyone of their generation does, if not more. He’s slightly concerned that something must be wrong. Across from him, Matt’s expression turns pinched, probably because he’s thinking the same thing or he can hear the worry in Foggy’s voice.
“Did you watch the episode last night?” Daisy asks, without preamble or greeting. 
“Oh, yeah. I mean, me and Karen did. Matt fell asleep like ten minutes in.”
Daisy scoffs over the line at the same time as Matt says, “I already apologized like five times for that!”
Pulling the phone away from his mouth slightly, Foggy says, “I know you did. And I forgive you. I know how important your beauty sleep is to you.”
Matt rolls his eyes, looking vaguely embarrassed at the same time. Foggy’s not sure if the extended time away during the show has made old things he’d gotten used to before new again or if this really is something new, but Matt’s easier to fluster than he remembered. Foggy could have sworn he made lots of jokes about Matt’s good looks and Matt always just brushed them off. This new shyness about it is surprising.
“Anyway,” Foggy says, turning his attention back to Daisy, “I saw the episode. Why do you ask?”
“Have you been online at all today?”
“You mean, have I been connected to the Internet at all? Yes, of course, Daisy, come on!”
“No, I mean, on social media,” Daisy says, impatiently.
“I don’t really use social media. You know that.”
“I know you have your finsta,” she replies. “I didn’t know if anyone had tagged you in anything there. Or if you have a dummy twitter account to lurk sometimes.”
Foggy laughs. “God, no!”
“Don’t say it like it’s totally ludicrous! People do it!”
“Yeah, but not me,” Foggy says, still laughing. “I’m just a simple country lawyer. What need have I of your twitters and your algorithms?”
He feels like he can hear Daisy roll her eyes on the other end of the call. “You’re such a dork!”
“Sorry. What’s so important that you needed to call me on the phone to ask if I have a secret Twitter account?”
“The Internet is freaking out about you, Foggy Nelson.”
Foggy’s stomach sinks. “It is?” he asks. “What did I do?”
“You looked too damn hot in this week’s episode, apparently.”
“I—what?” Foggy asks, feeling so utterly stupid. None of those words made any sense to him, which is troubling because most of them were pretty simple. “Wait, did I look really sweaty or something?”
“No, dumbass,” Daisy says, “I mean ‘hot’ like ‘god, he’s so hot, I want to have his babies,’ which, by the way, is a real tweet I read about you not fifteen minutes ago.”
“What?!” Foggy basically shouts, which makes Matt lean forward in his seat and give him a questioning look.
“Your humility is really beyond the pale, Franklin. It’s like you don’t know you’re hot!”
“I don’t know that,” he says, still freaking out slightly. “I’ve been called that by three, maybe four people in my whole life before today! It’s not a common occurrence.”
“I don’t believe that for a second,” Daisy says, because she’s fundamentally loyal and it makes her confused sometimes. 
“Well, if it’s happening a lot, it must be behind my back, then.”
Matt, apparently done with being out of the loop, reaches across the table to poke Foggy’s wrist with his index finger. Foggy replies in turn by patting Matt’s hand with his twice, hoping that conveys that there’s no emergency. 
“Well, it’s happening a lot on Twitter right now,” Daisy replies. “Which, I guess is still behind your back, technically.”
“That’s…great, I guess…”
“I thought you’d be happier,” she says, sounding worried. “You seem upset.”
“It’s just weird to think about,” Foggy says, keeping his tone mild. He’s not mad at Daisy by any stretch, but having people outside of the neighborhood know who he is and have strong opinions about him has proven to be a tougher concept to reckon with than he originally anticipated. “It’s that thing of being perceived in a way that I have no control over.”
“Yeah, I get that,” Daisy replies, thoughtfully. “I just…I thought you should know you’re the Internet’s reigning boyfriend at the moment.”
Foggy laughs, still feeling weird but in a warmer, cozier way than before. “Well, it’s an honor to be somebody’s boyfriend, I suppose.”
Matt’s head perks up at that, like a dog who’s heard a strange noise, and Foggy resists the urge to laugh at him for it. Karen returns with their next round at that precise moment, too, and makes a face at this pronouncement as she slides Foggy’s beer across the table to him. He also sees her look over at Matt, as if he’ll have more answers somehow.
“I’m guessing based on your blasé reaction to this news that I shouldn’t send you a curated collection of mine and Colleen’s favorite tweets about how gorgeous you are?” Daisy asks, innocently.
“For the sake of my mental health, you probably shouldn’t,” Foggy replies, “but honestly, today’s been a weird one and we had a miserable time in court, so it might cheer me up.”
Daisy squeals excitedly, which is not a noise Foggy knew she made before this very moment. She didn’t even make that noise when she won Bake-Off, not that he’s allowed to tell anyone that yet. “That’s what I like to hear,” she exclaims. “Alright, well, get ready for some screenshots. And also sorry in advance for any psychological damage I may cause.”
“Thanks,” Foggy laughs. “Both for the apologies in advance and for making sure I knew about this.”
“What are friends for?” Daisy sighs happily, and then hangs up without a goodbye.
“What’s going on?” Karen asks as she takes a sip from her beer.
“Have you been on Twitter today?” he asks, in response.
“I’m a journalist, Foggy. Unfortunately, most of my life is spent on Twitter.”
“Do you follow any Bake-Off people there?”
“I might follow the official twitter for the show itself, but I’m not sure. Why?”
“Apparently, Twitter is freaking out about me in last night’s episode.”
“Really? What do they have to freak out about?” Matt asks, frowning.
Foggy shrugs. “I don’t know. Just me, I guess? I looked good or something.”
“I told you that you looked good last night,” Karen says, gesturing broadly to convey her annoyance. “You didn’t believe me.”
“You’re one of my best friends, Karen. You have to lie to me about that kind of thing!”
“No, I don’t! And I wasn’t!”
“Well, you’re about to be vindicated,” Foggy says. “Daisy and Colleen are sending me screenshots.”
As if on cue, Foggy’s phone lights up with several messages being sent to his and Colleen and Daisy’s group chat and the notifications don’t slow down at all for another full minute.
“God,” Foggy says, just looking at the new messages pouring in. “She wasn’t kidding.”
“You want to read them,” Karen asks, with a bright, dangerous look in her eye, “or shall I?”
Foggy hands over his phone without a second thought. “Probably better if you do it,” he says, feeling genuine panic and terror at the idea. It’s too late to go back now, though. He’s gotten her hopes up.
“Oh my god,” Karen says, after he’s gotten his phone unlocked for her. She puts her hand to her mouth to disguise her…horror? Amusement? Both? It’s hard to tell.
“What?” Foggy asks, anxiously, and Matt turns over his hand underneath Foggy’s palm so he can give it a quick squeeze, which…that shouldn’t be as soothing as it actually is. It’s, frankly, ridiculous that it helps so much.
“Foggy,” Karen says, excitedly, “you’re a sensation!”
+
guy with no problems • juliachildsplay
um… hello?? Foggy coming into the tent with those little braids??? I’m experiencing symptoms????
the hateful nate • nateorade
I’ve been online too long because the minute I saw Foggy Nelson with his hair in braids, I just shouted OOOHHH GENDER!! at the top of my lungs. my gf and my cat both left the room in protest.
kelly nguyen • gaygrenadine
me normally: it’s so embarrassing when cis dudes get so much credit for the mildest defiance of gender norms… me seeing foggy’s braids in GABO: yasss queen thank you for my rights 🌈🙌 gender is sooo over!!
brynn it to wynn it • flibbertigibbety
I did not actually think Foggy could get hotter to me than when he responded to people ridiculing his French pronunciation by revealing he speaks fluent Punjabi, but I was WRONG!! 
Ezekiel (he/they) • ezeydoesitt
how is anyone getting any baking done right now when foggy is there looking so so good?? couldn’t be me!!!
world’s #1 trilla apologist • eldritchedeelite
lord, I am not one of your strongest soldiers… foggy in that salmon colored t-shirt and those braids… I am WEAK
dinah (derogatory) • surelytemple
my two cents is that Ava deserves star baker this week because she is somehow still baking with foggy nelson’s whole beautiful self directly in her eye line. talk about performing under pressure.
bram (not stoker) • bramblinnmann
I am watching bakeoff with my family right now and it’s getting very difficult to pretend to be straight in front of them when Foggy’s out here looking this hot
your future canceled wife • thecouturevulture
THEM: hey how was bakeoff this week? what did everyone make? was it good? ME: FOGGY NELSON WORE HIS HAIR IN BRAIDS!!! 
citizen paddington  • genderemporia
I literally couldn’t tell you a single thing that happened in this episode of GABO. Foggy appeared onscreen and my brain shut off for the next hour. I came to and I was googling wedding venues, idk man
Kira Iris • villainesque
I don’t condone people getting obsessed with public figures and violating their privacy but if some of yall wanted to be weird and find out if Foggy’s “partner” he references is a business thing or a romantic thing, I would look the other way just this once
Default Username, Esq. • shrimpheavencanwait
thank god foggy nelson isn’t on social media or I would be embarrassing myself I would be in those DMs like cheese filling in a danish I would be bringing shame upon my ancestors for that man I promise you
Helena Bee 🐝♿️ • bananabreadcrumbs
that part of the episode where Colleen walked behind Foggy and pulled one of his braids to say hello and he smiled at her??? It just hurts to see other people live your dreams???
spy x savage x fenty  • coolnormalchill
foggy deserves star baker because he cured my depression and my gender dysphoria in one fell swoop and that’s that on that
Lindy the SEO bitch • easilysearchablebrandname
other bakers: [make the snack] Foggy Nelson: [is the snack]
sayid’s secret account! • sayidsayless
I didn’t hear who won star baker, I didn’t see who got sent home, l learned nothing about sweet dough, I was busy googling foggy nelson Instagram foggy nelson partner foggy nelson star sign 
hb lovecraft • hazelbleu
I've already decided to call out sick from work tomorrow so I can spend the whole day watching the inevitable Foggy fancams that will come from this week’s GABO. It’s my duty as an American.
go gert go • yorkestown
if there’s any uneven bakes this week, we all know it’s because Foggy was simply too hot to handle and it threw off everyone’s baking times
SORRY 4 PARTY BROCKIN’ • attackthebrock
foggy saying that one thing he loves about bakeoff is never having a shortage of people to share his bakes with, because normally it’s just up to his partner to finish them. ME AND WHO TBH????
nora mcclain 👻🥀🖤 • themostest
Foggy explaining the hot cross bun recipe he’s making prompted my (allegedly) straight husband to say, out of nowhere, “I’d let him put a bun in MY oven!” Like, sir??? I’m right here???
stardew valley girl • wooloolemon
it’s crazy how many babies are going to be born nine months from the airing of Great American Bake-Off Season 3 Episode 6
Tolkien Straightguy • helmsdeepthroat
it’s pretty normal for me to end an episode of bake-off hungrier than I was before, but I’ve never finished one this THIRSTY my god
maddie📍grad school hell • doctorwormphd
seeing foggy with those french braids made me crazy y’all!! I almost redownloaded tinder I was so lost in the sauce
blandine montpetit ☮️💟 • peaceandloafs
Ava’s star baker moment was so deserved, I’m just sorry we were all too distracted by Foggy being the cutest human alive to really appreciate it. But not sorry enough that it won’t happen again.
+
“We’ve strayed very far from the light of god, I think,” Foggy says, with his face pressed into the sticky surface of the table, which…yeah, bad idea, but one of many he’s had tonight. Matt pats the back of his neck with a hand that was maybe supposed to be more in the direction of his head and ended up somewhere more weirdly intimate by accident. Foggy lifts his head to put an end to it, not because it didn’t feel nice but precisely because it did and that in turn makes him feel a bunch of messy emotions he doesn’t like. “Karen, what are you doing? Are there more?”
“Yes, but they’re getting a little redundant, honestly,” she says, squinting at his phone’s screen. “Everybody wants you to impregnate them, apparently.”
Matt chokes on air at the same time as Foggy chokes on his beer, so it takes both of them a few seconds to recover and respond. 
“They what?” Matt asks, looking pale.
“The power of a new hairstyle,” Karen says, with a self-satisfied smile, though she directs it at Matt, for some reason. They have a lot more meaningful looks and mysterious half-conversations these days than they used to before Foggy went away to film the show. At least, that’s how it feels to him and if Karen didn’t have a boyfriend that she seemed to love a lot, he’d be worried that she and Matt were going to try dating again, for all it was a disaster the (admittedly brief) first time. Instead, it feels like they developed a shorthand while he was away and, granted he also made a bunch of close friends who he essentially talks to in baking-themed twin speak, it still makes him feel strange. He didn’t think him being away for the time that he was would change so much, but apparently it did. Matt and Karen speak in code now, and the Internet wants to fuck him. Life is strange.
“Do you really talk about me on the show that much?” Matt asks, apropos of nothing, it feels like.
“What? What do you mean?”
“A lot of those tweets referenced you talking about your partner,” Matt replies, looking thoughtful. “That’s me, I assume.”
“Yes, obviously,” Foggy says as his face heats. “Why shouldn’t I talk about you?”
“I’m not saying you shouldn’t. I just didn’t realize it was enough to be noticeable.”
“One thing I’ve learned about the Bake-Off viewers is that they notice everything,” Foggy says. “And I don’t mean to talk about you a lot, but you’re important to me and you’re in most of my stories and…all that…”
Matt seems to be thinking hard about that, while Karen is sitting with her chin resting in the palm of her hand, still scrolling through Foggy’s phone. 
“What are you doing over there, Page?” Foggy asks, in the hopes of distracting everyone from the corny admission he just made that got met with silence. 
“Just sending a few of these to my phone,” she says, with a sheepish look. “I want to show Frank.”
“God, no!” Foggy yelps as he reaches out to snatch his phone back. “I don’t need Frank knowing about these! It’s bad enough Matt had to hear them!”
“Why is it bad for me to know?” Matt asks, startled out of his reverie by the mention of his name.
“Because you think all of this is stupid!”
“All of what? Twitter?”
“No,” Foggy sighs, and then thinks it over. “I mean, I assume you do think Twitter is largely stupid, actually—”
“And you’d be right,” Karen adds.
“What I meant was you think all this stuff about the show is stupid.”
“No, I don’t,” Matt says, frowning. “I mean, I confess I don’t understand half the stuff you say on the show or about it, but that doesn’t mean I think it’s stupid. If anything, it makes me think I’m stupid.”
“Well, you certainly can’t be impressed by everything Karen just read us,” Foggy replies, gesturing with his phone. He’s aware, in the back of his mind, that he’s doing that thing you’re never supposed to do and negotiating against himself, but he can’t really stop it, for some reason. “It makes the fans of the show sound insane!”
“I understood even less of that than I do of the baking terminology, honestly,” Matt admits, “but I think most of those people have the right idea.”
“You mean, hitting on Foggy via Twitter? You think that’s the right move in this situation?” Karen asks, and there’s some kind of play acting going on in her tone, like she’s goading Matt about something that Foggy doesn’t have the context for.
“I’m saying Foggy’s loveable,” Matt replies to her with an unexpected amount of heat. “I don’t know why he acts like he isn’t.”
Foggy blinks at them, feeling like he’s stepped into the middle of an old argument he didn’t know about. “Am I still a part of this conversation, or…?”
Karen’s expression clears first and she turns to Foggy with a reluctantly amused expression, like she doesn’t know what to do with him, he’s so silly. “Of course you are! Matt and I were just agreeing about how great we think you are! That’s all!”
“Yeah, sure,” Foggy replies. It sure as hell didn’t sound like two people agreeing on anything, but he’s willing to let it go. “Well, if I’ve learned anything from this uncomfortable incident, it’s that I should braid my hair more often.”
“And that you look good in that salmon-colored shirt,” Karen adds, helpfully. 
“Which is too bad, because I spilled ink all over it a few weeks ago.”
“Writing with a quill again?” Matt asks, innocently.
“No, I was helping Ruthie,” Foggy says, rolling his eyes when Matt’s smiles stupidly at his own joke. “Her newest hobby is calligraphy.”
“I thought she was into knitting now?” Karen says.
“Old news,” Foggy replies. “I’m just praying her next kick is baking so it can be something I’m even remotely good at.”
“I suppose it’s too much to ask that she gets really interested in reading up on legal precedent, huh?” Matt asks, thoughtfully.
“Yeah, probably,” Foggy laughs. “The point is, my magical salmon shirt that apparently makes me irresistible to random people on the Internet is out of commission.”
“Oh, well,” Karen sighs. “You’ll just have to subsist on the attentions of your local admirers.”
Foggy takes a sip of his beer. “I wasn’t aware I had any of those,” he says.
“Probably a lot more than you think,” she says, and she’s giving Matt another one of those weird looks again. Foggy decides it’s probably safer not to ask, and resolves to change the subject instead.
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