#i don't know if Im nervous to see my friendgroup from uni again because my ex crush is going to be there and I have to pretend everything is

[larrysballetslippers]

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#it's been a while that I put something in the tags but Im very lost atm for reasons i don't know #i don't know if Im nervous to see my friendgroup from uni again because my ex crush is going to be there and I have to pretend everything is #fine while also not getting frustrated by that toxic friend that I can't stand anymore #or if it's because im feeling so damn empty from getting on a dating app after being rejected by said ex crush #i don't know know why Im on there my friend said it was an good idea but Im already regretting but I can't just delete it or whatever #because I actually have some people I have been talking to but why do I feel so empty then?? #why does it feel like my life has been sucked out of me today? it can't just me the amount of interaction im sure that's not it. #i thought ... i thought this would make me happy to try bew things to get more attention from people get more confident #but why can't I shake this depression like feeling off #because I know this feeling well but I hope it doesn't stay please don't stay #how will I get better like this? am I still healing? i know I am but I was fine just yesterday just yesterday I didn't think of him #so why can't I shake this? #i have no answers I have nothing and I can't talk to anyone about it either because I don't even know what's going on #please just let me understand so I can heal this fix this #please just make me okay again #i can't start the year like this #please