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#i do have like a half written timeline/compilation but well i am so scared of getting smth wrong lol. im probably fine. just scared. 👍
lesbiangiratina ¡ 1 month
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Need to fix my cringe fail visual memory problems so i can learn more japanese and write an essay on testament’s gender. I will use those 2 new abilities for no other purpose. I dont need to do anything else.
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smolbeandrabbles ¡ 4 years
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Dear Life - Tom McLaren x Reader (Vertical Limit)
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Author’s Note: This One Is For The Nicholas Lea Fans! ...And like the one person I know might read this 🤣 Better believe I will be upping the ante on him somewhat over the next few months!  Dear Life - High Valley  - Now I haven’t used this or any High Valley music yet - God knows why. Time to rectify! 
Disclaimer: Okay, I know next to nothing about climbing, so my references are like... this movie... / Vertical Limit character’s aren’t mine (Again, or we’d have thrown Elliot off a cliff) / lyrics not mine. But this song really hurts for this. to be honest.
Premise: You’re 2 months away from becoming Mrs.Tom McLaren, and as you sit here and reminisce your relationship, Tom begins getting ready for his final trip before the wedding, to K2 with Elliot Vaughn... 
Words: 3599
Warnings: Nada
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______ Dear Life, I hope you know I've loved you every mile down this road Had my share of hits and misses Tryin' to keep between the ditches Dear Life, I hope you know Dear Life, what's your plan Is where I'm suppose to be, right where I am If it is, then I ain’t leavin' If it ain't, then I'll keep on dreamin' Dear Life, what's your plan Now you're flying by too fast I'll fight to make you last Beggin' won’t you please, just slow down You're scaring me to death I'm tryin' to catch my breath Don't wanna let you go I'm hangin' on for dear life I wanna leave my mark Love til it breaks my heart Live so loud that my forever Echoes in the dark ---
Tom always carried a video camera. He said it wasn't to detail every stupid little mistake you made climbing - but you knew in truth it really was. He was the real mountain climber - at least high-altitude, in snow, hiking and climbing. You could hike with the best of them - but your speciality was free climbing over drier terrain and rocks, not snow and ice. You used to tell him the only reason that you would ever climb up snow was to ski back down - and he would laugh at you for that. But whenever you got back home he'd spend a painstaking amount of time editing together compilation videos. That you never got to see, but knew existed. "One day you're gonna have to show me!" "Aw, nah! None are finished Y/N! I can't show you something that's not done!"
 He could say that all he wanted - but as you sat in your apartment today leafing through your wedding planner again and sticking things into place, you couldn't help but notice how many video stills had ended up on the walls. Usually they were of him making funny faces at the way you were climbing or just genuine concern. Your favourite was one of the ones he had to sharply angle against the cliff face - you miles ahead of him, and the number of cams in the wall waaaay less than you should have put - at least to support both of you - to which he'd hand written the caption 'People I Should Never Trust With My Life On A Mountain: My Girlfriend." It wasn’t like you didn’t have the same kind of humour though. What about the one he’d had framed in his office? A picture of you with your head in your hands waiting for him to take an ungodly amount of time to decide on the correct number of cams to stick in the wall to take your weight, to continue climbing along. Captioned: “How it Feels to Be (Literally) Tied to Your Boyfriend For 24 Hours.” That summed you both up – you wanted the least amount of equipment for a light and fast ascent. Tom was all about safety, especially if you were there with him.
So you wondered what he might say in all of them... Only you might get your wish, because on occasion you'd filmed other adventures of yours that were less perilous. Like waiting for him at the end of a 5K run, chiding him for taking 15 minutes longer than you, and him protesting that a 5K was not a mountain hike - and he didn't need to continuously run on those! Or paragliding in a much more tropical climate than either of you were really used to. You weren't sure what he was planning, but he had a good friend that was a better videographer that he had taken up more than a few mountains as a guide for documentary shooting; and Tom had asked you for a few of the videos you'd taken. You trusted him enough to surprise you with that, because you had many surprises for him too.
 You leant your head on your hand for a moment and really turned your attention to those photographs. Decorating your home together had been a lot of fun; and you'd both taken a lot of thought and care into colour schemes and themes. At first only a few frames hung on the wall - but now each room showed like a timeline for your relationship. Only it wasn't in the kind of cute photographs couples usually took and there wasn't an anniversary one in sight.
No, these photographs were taken at the summit of every climb you'd ever ascended together. And as the more creative one, you'd made them into pretty collages. Frames weren't often wood or metal anymore - but whatever rope had frayed the most or was the oldest – he’d give you any worn out equipment to help with your endeavour… or sometimes you'd find an interesting stone, or you'd get post cards. You always put the place, height and time it had taken you to climb at the bottom too - sometimes handwritten in yours or his neat script. They became good talking points in themselves... And the first one had only been a birthday gift for him. But Tom had liked it so much he wanted to display it in your hallway instead of his office. "But Tommy then you can look at it when you work!" "Yeah but... When I'm not there who is gonna see it? It deserves to be seen - you put so much effort into this babe...!" And so on proud display it stayed - now joined by so many others.
When Tom wasn't half way around the world leading explorations up one of these peaks he was here with you. He had a number of guides under his expert tuition - and his company was all run out of his office. He liked to make sure that he had at least one employee in every far-reaching corner of the world that intrepid explorers would like to try and conquer... But if you wanted the best of the best, then Tom McLaren would fly out himself. He lived half his life out on mountains, and occasionally you were right there beside him. He liked you coming along for respite. So he could mutter to someone about some of the amateurs he had to escort up; "I dunno Y/N... Makes me feel I should only make the trip for experienced climbers only..." "You got me." And he would smile his best smile "Or I'd go INSANE!" "You're getting paid well for this though, right?" "AH. Yeah, I've always been about the money..." You could only laugh at that look on his face; "Well. Just be about it for this one!"
 You heard the front door open and close and knew he was back. Somehow, there was nothing like the sound of knowing he was home - and your heart skipped a beat. He wandered through into the living room - claret baggy gym shirt, and navy tracks...to go with his navy trainers with questionable tangerine shoe laces. It still made you raise an eyebrow, but Tommy was all about the pop of colour. "...Hey!" He still sounded a little out of breath, despite the fact he would have driven home. "Hey!" You smiled, heart still racing like you were in the presence of a high-school crush. He dropped his gym back by the kitchen and wandered over; you accepted a kiss on the cheek and he leant on the table and tapped the book; "How are we doing?" "Good - thank you! Almost completely ready." "Ah! Thank God for that!" "Aw, and I thought you were the meticulous planner here." "Babe, I am - but this... This is..." He looked a little overwhelmed for a minute, "Something else!" "We got this - you know that right...?" "Oh I know..." Tom breathed, and this time when he lent in you wanted his lips on yours.  "I just... It's so close now I..." He laughed "I guess I'm a little nervous." "More nervous than your next climb? Ah-! Speaking of, you have a meeting with Vaughn at 2..." "I know, but thank you..." He glanced to the clock "I got enough time to get prepped." "Better have..." You weren't his assistant, but you knew Tom's diary down to the minute - mostly because he'd synced your calendars. But when he was so far away from you for so long, you needed to know exactly where he was supposed to be and when. And how long he was expected to be out of signal range. You could deal with not hearing from him for a while; that was the nature of the job, but you still liked to know what days he was climbing, and when he was supposed to be in base camp, so you knew when you really had to worry about him. He gave you one more kiss before moving into the bedroom "One more climb and I marry you!!!" "It's a big one! One thing at a time!" "Like you aren't waiting to be Mrs. Tom McLaren!" "Oh! Only my entire life!" You put a marker in your planner and followed him.
It was still like having a school girl crush. By now he was out of his shirt and going through his wardrobe for something comfortable to wear. His meeting was only over the phone... Of course he caught you staring at him - with his shirt off you could see his tattoo and that strangely shaped scar on his left-hand side. "You okay?" He raised an eyebrow and turned to you, making you shake your head "If you could feel my heart right now..." His laugh was a little bashful and his look to the floor almost shy; "Why?" "I dunno. It's like having a crush on you all over again. I guess I'm just excited..." He looked down at himself with a cheeky grin; "Please clarify!" You scoffed, but knew pink was crossing your cheeks; "Shut up!" He nodded to the bathroom; "I'ma take a shower but-" "OH God! Don't even tempt me!" Tom laughed again; "And now I really feel like I should!" He folded his arms; and there was a familiar chink of metal as the pendant around his neck moved. As far as you knew he'd never taken it off, and he'd never really talked about it much, only to whisper that it was good luck. The twist of tarnished silver was strange in itself; you couldn't quite fathom what it was either. But anything important to Tommy was important to you. (Except it was rough and sharp in places and often stabbed into you at fairly inconvenient times.) It was silly to trust his necklace to keep him safe when you knew his skills would do that on their own. But sometimes the night before he was due to go, and you couldn't sleep (because you never could when those evenings rolled around) you found yourself glaring at it and always thinking the same thing; You better bring him back to me!
 You sprinted across the room to kiss him, which turned into kissing him multiple times, before he tried to pick you up and you shrieked, half giggling as you ran back out. His laugh was gorgeous and clear and loud; "Alright I get it! No showers-!" You peered around the door; "How many floors did you climb?" "300. It's still not K2. But it's a start." You gave a nod and a smile "I'm not gonna make you walk that to the wedding, don't worry." "I could call the venue and we could have it in the mountains...? Why bother making them the view!" "I could kill you, Tom McLaren!" "I'm sure Vaughn would fly everyone up!" He studied your unimpressed look with amusement "Ahhhh.... I believe that face is a firm no..." "Correct." "Alright, go on. Back to planning..." You continued to stare at him "What?" "I love you, babe." He grinned gently, and stepped towards the bathroom "...I love you too, Ms.McLaren." "Aw, not yet!"
 **
 "Oh! Sweetheart...! I think he'll love it!" your mother gasped as you detailed your wedding dress idea to her. Sitting back at the table and opening your planner again surrounded by your photographs and flipping to the dress pages (the only ones Tom was forbidden from looking at) made you remember that. Because it'd been this very table over drinks that you'd told her what you were thinking. It sounded a little insane, the kind of thing nobody would really get. But he would. "...Don't you think everyone will ask me the same questions about a billion times?" "Do you have to answer? I think it's wonderful... And it's not meant for them is it, it's meant for Tom..." You'd had the idea when wandering around your apartment on the phone to other aspects of your wedding, florists... bakery... venue... Musicians... They were long detailed conversations that both you and Tom had had. He tried to help you plan as much as he could, but both of you realised it was kinda hard to plan a wedding halfway up a mountain. But he did promise, and had expertly, sorted himself and his groomsmen out - and when he wasn't preparing for his next climb, he spent all his spare time helping you. Even though you were fine and actually really enjoyed planning this. But, each of these conversations had you staring at the photographs on your wall. And you'd come to the conclusion that climbing was what had brought the two of you together, and was such a huge part of both your lives. The mountains in the background of every picture had got you thinking; even if you were actually standing on the summit of the important ones... So the idea was simple, everything you'd ever summited together - whether it be a cliff face in a national park, or it was something as phenomenal as K2, or Everest. It was making it onto your dress. The scope of work was huge and you'd realised this, so it had taken the seamstresses an age to make to your specification, but you had tried to help and provide assistance at every turn you could. So a few weeks ago you'd gone for your adjustment fitting (although it was pretty perfect once you'd tried it on), when Tom was travelling back from his last climb for a little R and R, and had almost cried when you'd seen it. The mountains had been embroidered like a secret message. Only truly visible if you looked at the detail.  Some were outlined in a blue-tone white and were a little more obvious; but the others blended so perfectly into the skirt - it had turned out more beautiful than you had imagined. And there were actual tears when you tried it on; from both you and your mom and friends.
You closed the book again as you heard him exit his office after his call and tied the ribbon back - replacing it on your shelf. "How'd it go?" "He's crazy. That's all I can say!" "You're gonna do amazing..." "It's not me I'm worried about..." He gave a shrug "I know K2 well enough." You crossed the room and placed your arms around him "...I'm gonna worry about you.." "Yeah. That's why I don't worry - you do it enough." You brushed your lips to his; "Can we go out tonight?" "For dinner...? Mmmm... Don't see why not..." Tom ran his arms around you and pulled you tight to him "What you thinking...?" "The little place on the corner..." "Why do we always go there when I'm about to leave?" "Because it's your favourite." His amusement extended into his light brown eyes as he rolled them; "No. It's because it's your favourite." You smiled, and leant up to kiss him again; "That too."
 ***
 It was the night before he left, and the corridor was full of his gear, you were allowed to go to the airport with him but no further. Part of you wanted to go on Vaughn's expedition. It sounded interesting - and if it was all being broadcast when they hit the top... But Tom wanted you back here, and you understood that too. "You don't need to get caught up in all this..." He tracked back through to the bedroom; "Besides... You don't even like him." "Millionaire who thinks he can throw money at a mountain and it'll do what he wants, so everyone gets to see this inaugural flight? No thanks." "See. You wouldn't even enjoy it!" "Guess I get to see you on TV..." "Well..." He caught you in the living room for a short kiss. Fleeting - just like his time back here always was. You wondered how much Tommy would let you curb that once you got a ring on his finger. "...Unless they cut me out of it!" You folded your arms, with a frown clearly meant for Vaughn himself; "Oh. Because you're only the man whose gonna get him up there!" "...eh, millionaires!" "Who else is going with you?" "Annie Garrett." You gasped "Annie! Aw, I love her!" "Yeah another reason you aren't going!" He laughed "We'll never get anywhere...!" You followed him and realised there was at least another suitcase and a half to go "...I rebuke that and think we could probably take you in a race to the top." He shot you a look "K2 is not about racing. It's a-" You mimicked his serious voice with a whine "-Very technical climb and the most dangerous mountain in the world-!" He narrowed his eyes slightly, making you smile; "Didn't you get over lecturing me 5 years ago, Tommy?" "Clearly not, if you're gonna make stupid comments." He turned back to his things which made you sigh. "Babe, do you want some help?" His brown eyes flicked over his shoulder again "Oh, sweetheart, would you?" You nodded eagerly with a sweet smile; "Mmmm... I like helping you pack. The only thing I don't like is watching you leave..."
 ***
 You stood holding his hands so tight in the airport, and realised how torn up you were about this. "Y/N... You are gonna have to let me go eventually, you know that right?" "Yeah but I..." You weren't looking at him, but his hands, laced with your own - the pretty cut diamond of your engagement ring glittering gently in the lights. He bent to try to get you to look at him. "But you...?" "This one is so much harder than the rest... I just... Wanna marry you now. And K2..." "Hey... Hey... C'mere..." He wrapped you in his arms, pulling your head into his chest and stroking a hand through your hair; "Sweetheart you never do this... What's wrong?" "I'm just really gonna miss you on this one. But I'll be watching that TV close, believe me." "I know you will. And I'll be counting down the days until my flight home... And then we square away the final touches... And then Mrs. Tommy McLaren will not just be a Skip joke at base camp... Huh?"
He at least got you laughing gently; but he noticed the tears too. Tom didn't stop you from crying though; your emotions were all over the place ever since he'd got down on one knee. He'd never expected that, which made him guess you'd never expected him to do it in the first place. Probably because that's all his friends did joke about. Including it being present in the original introduction of you two to one another. “Tommy this is Y/N... She's a climber too! Since it's only you two that have that in common if you don't wanna stay sad and single for your lonely lives, you just aught to get married now!” Tom pressed a kiss to your forehead; it was long, and worth every second, before he caught your lips. "Look after the company, alright?" "I will." "And look after yourself... Okay? That's more important..." "I will..." There was a few seconds pause before you threw your arms around him again; "You come back to me Tom McLaren! You kick K2’s ass and you come back to me!" He wound his arms around you again and lifted you from the floor "I'm coming back, Y/N... I don't get to marry you otherwise..." "Just. Make sure Vaughn knows who's boss." He gave a wink, and salute as he set you down; "Yes ma'm!"
 *** 
You were still staring at the pictures on the wall when the sunlight faded; one more day gone. One day closer to marrying the love of your life. But one day further away from all these incredible things happening. All of these pictures captured moments you would never get back. And each one of them told a story with so many lost great conversations. Little glances or touches that were now lost to eternity.
Your eyes flicked between them all, this has all gone so fast... Even though he would be back soon, that would feel like an age. But all these years had passed like a blur. Would your married life be just the same?
You sat back for a second and took a deep breath to slow it all down. You hoped not; Tom was someone you had to savour every moment with - because in reality there were so few. And that made every second precious. You realised how much you wanted to look back on everything you'd done together and remember it all. No matter how impossible. It hit you all very suddenly. Is that why he recorded everything? So that he could watch back every memory you had a freeze frame moment of here? Because Tom McLaren wanted to relive every stupid, amazing thing that happened. As long as you were there in it. You shook your head gently as you pieced it all together; why he wanted your tapes so bad too. He was about to relive all those moments with you. But not just with you - Tom McLaren wanted everyone else to see those moments too. Everyone that was an important part of your lives and an integral part of your relationship.
And he was going to do so on your wedding day.
---
Oh have another GIF even though it’s not actually Tom... It still make’s me think of this fic..! Like he would 100% throw paper planes at her whilst she’s trying to work on collages and their wedding planning...
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missjackil ¡ 5 years
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My 14x13 Opinion
Lebanon The 300th Episode
I am so proud of this episode and so blown away by how awesome these last 4 episodes have been! Might be an unpopular opinion guys but I really like this season! Sure its had some duds like Optimism and The Scar (Though The Scar had a great broment) but I thought we’d be getting Leader!Sam this season but we have emotionally wrecked!Sam instead, and Im here for that! Needless to say I LOVED this episode, I was so pleased with pretty much everything and I have no big complaints, so lets have at it! I enjoyed the lightness of the beginning, and getting a look at the town. Im so pleased they FINALLY noted that Lebanon KS is the geographical center of the country! So the boys can get anywhere in the country within a day and a half. Its kinda weird though that Lebanon seems to have 3 different post offices. The one from Something About Mary, the one from The Spear, and now this one. LOL thats no big deal so lets move along. 
It was funny that the dude in the pawn shop committed suicide by Winchester, which of course is trying to, or successfully killing one gets you killed by the other, and Dean acknowledges that they all talk too much LOL.
The kids talking about the rumors about the boys was fun but I really wasnt impressed by “cool chick” Max. I liked the boy in the hat though, he was great. Stealing Baby is also suicide by Winchester but Sam and Dean dont go around killing teenagers so, they got lucky. 
I was amuzed by the ghost of John Wayne Gacey clown, and Dean being all “You love serial killers but hate clowns!” and Sam being like “I get it Dean” but Im really glad they didnt make Sam act like he was scared like the other times before. It just wouldnt have fit well into this episode I dont think. Saving Dean is more urgent than a clown fear right? 
Moving on to the meat, and this was as meaty as an episode can get! Dad comes because Dean makes a wish. It seems Dean’s desire to have his family together is more of a desire than getting ole Mike out of his head, and thats really pretty sweet. Dad recognizes the boys right away, which is cool especially since Sam looks NOTHING like he did back in 05, let alone 03 but John says “What happened to you?” I reckon they aged 15+ yrs Pops!
The boys give Dad the nutshell version of their lives over shots of whiskey, because, how else could you do it? But man, John’s face when he hears Mary’s voice was amazing! And I dont even like Mary but, good lord if she didnt nail these scenes!  My hear crumbled, their reunion kiss was completely believable even though we never saw them kiss on the show before. I saw some of you whine that John didnt ask permission first... really? I could see if they were gonna have sex, but when does anyone on TV ever ask to kiss someone?? Not very often. It was by far the most romantic thing Ive ever seen on this show, 
Like typical Winchesters, Dean is sucked into whats right before him and Sam is worried about the big picture. But Sam doesnt lean too hard on Dean about it, lets all have the nice family dinner we’ve never had. 
While compiling a shopping list with Mom, Dean leaves Sam alone with Dad. This scene was .... WOW... so well written and brilliantly acted. I had been wondering how Sam and John would hash things out and this was so much better than I invisioned. Its so in character for the Sam we have watched grow over the last 14 years to get over the bad and focus on the good, because those you love can be taken away in a heartbeat and being left with hard feelings is the worst. All he can think of is seeing Dad dead on the floor and he never got to say goodbye. and he never got to smooth things over. Sams emotions were raw and real! Jared really let Sam feel it, all the regret and anger and loneliness, melts away and turns into “but you loved us.... and thats enough” It was so refreshing to get so much emotional POV from Sam. Something we;ve gotten more of this season than we ever have. It hurts like a mother... but its worth it. 
After the heart shattering talk, Sam composes himself and tells Dean hes right. This was a good thing even if its jut temporary. He asks Dean if he wants company for shopping, and this is like Sam wanting to hold on to his rock (Dean). This is precious.
The boys leave Mom and Dad alone, and go shopping. Now we discover that the timeline has shifted and they have alternate selves. Dean is a wanted criminal and Sam, omg lol Sam is flaming TED talking douchebag that wears turtlenecks, loves Kale, doesnt drink coffee, and doesnt see the need for hobbies or family. But, I gotta say hes lovely in glasses 😎
This inevitably means that not only will Mom disappear, but the boys wont have the relationship they do, and we know, thats a fate worse than the universe exploding. Meanwhile we get a guest appearance by Zachariah and Cas, and Cas is back to S4-ish Cas and possibly even more of a dick. Sam and Dean find them as theyre about to kill the teenagers from earlier and save them. Cas of course doesnt know them from Adam but Zach does. A fight ensues and I just have to state very clearly that Dean went after cas with the angel blade with no second thoughts. Zach attacks Sam and tries to kill him, but Sam kills him instead. Now thats poetic to have been killed by both Winchesters at different times! 
Now Cas is trying to kil Sam, which as we know, never goes over well with Dean, but Cas really nails Sam HARD in the face and Sam spews blood all over! That was pretty graphic and dramatic! Well full strength douchebag angel or not, Dean doesnt let you beat on Sam. so heattacks Cas, and Cas is about to kill Dean. There is no “Cas its me!! Fight this!! I love you!!” like all the hellers wanted and predicted LMAO instead Sam writes a sigil with his blood and zaps Cas away.
Back at home, yet another highly emotional scene as Sam tells Mom why they have to let Dad go... she would just fade away and they would become their “other” selves. Mary cries real tears. and Sam overflows again. God my heart!! Dean talks to Dad and Dad is more than willing to lay his life down for Mom. They all sit solomly at the dinner table. Oddly enough Sam is the only one eating, and Im sure theres meta in there somewhere.... all I can think of at the moment is that hes distracting himself from the painful slence, and hes the only one who never really had Winchester Surprise. John decides to lighten the mood and be grateful for this time, and they all follow suit. And it was glorious!! My boys laughing and eating and enjoying themselves with mom and dad, I just dont know what words to give this scene! 
Afterwards, Sam and Dean are washing dishes together #husbros and they briefly discuss keeping it the way it is. I mean really.... Mom may disappear and they wont be insanely co-dependent, but Michael wont be in Dean’s head anymore, because nothing leading up to it would have ever happened. Dean says hes good with who he is, and hes good with who Sam is, and hes just too old to want to change it. 
The farewell scene was nothing less than earth shattering painful. Dean was surprisingly calm and stoic, though he had many tears. It was as if on purpose, he let Sam and Mom have all the emotions. John hugs his sons one last time. and tells them he’s so proud of them, Poor Sam is gutted. He cant even pretend he isnt crying. Dad tells them he loves them. Dean says he loves him too. Sam cant get words out so he wipes his face and nods. In a beautiful paralell from the old days when John told Dean “Take care of Sammy” and Dean answers “I always do” John says “Take care of each other” and Sam answers “We always do”😭😭😭😭😭😭John takes Mary’s hand and Sam in obvious pain crushes the pearl and Dad fades away. He wakes up in Baby back in 2003 believing he had a good dream. 
Now we have to wait a freakin month for the next episode. But Ill be ok. I think I need a break from all the emotions of the last several episodes because the next couple will probably be less dramatic. This is ok, if every episode was this emotional, even that would get old fast. We only have 7 episodes left and I dont want to rush to the end of the season for a freakin 6 month hiatus!! AGGGHHHHH!! 
Overall I am in love with this episode. It may have moved itself into first place but it has at least tied. This episode definitely met and exceeded my expectations, and last week I thought it wouldnt be able to beat that one. Im so proud of SPN, the writers, and the cast of this episode Ill give them all a standing ovation 👏👏👏👏👍💖 I think its abundantly clear now that Dabb DOES care about the brother bond and doesnt give a rats ass about dean/cas in fact it looks as if the next few episodes might be Dean lite... but we never really know till we watch the episodes.
In conclusion. on a scale from Bloodlines to Who We Are, Lebanon is a 10. Well done show.... well done! Now onward to the 400th episode!!
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