#i didn't go get my masters. or rlly try for a phd because i felt like i was bad at school right

[look-at-the-stars-tonight]

sorry for diary posting so much on main but this is the last one today prommy

#it's in the tags anyway so #SO #i didn't go get my masters. or rlly try for a phd because i felt like i was bad at school right #(because i failed two classes in freshman year and i'd never ever done that before) #(and i failed those because. my meds made it very difficult for me to retain any information/make memories or whatever) #and it was just so WEIRD and i felt so dumb because never in my life had i been bad at school before like that #so that kind of killed my general confidence in academia #so even tho i got into a decent program i just decided to go work instead #(and yes a big part of it is that my current job is awesome and i didn't know if i'd get this kind of opportunity again) #and i kind of just realized #the last year and a half have LITERALLY JUST BEEN SCHOOL #OR WHAT A MASTERS PROGRAM WOULD BE LIKE #sort of. like an engineering masters. #except technically i have come up with new stuff too it's just operational and not research #but i spent the last year and a half learning something completely new that i knew nothing about at all. #and i've been teaching classes while i was learning and taking exams #and my exams went WELL #the last oral exam i had my evaluator told me it was the best one he'd seen #i went to talk to one of my senior instructors recently about the last big class i taught to become certified #to fucking important ass terrifyingly smart people #and he told me i was a model for all new people and i did super well #and then he told me not to tell anyone he said that because he didn't want people to think he was a softie #(he's a gigantic softie. i can't believe people are scared of him) #when he gets mad he expresses it and honestly he's valid for it sometimes people are dumb bitches and need to hear it. but apparently some #oh that's a tangent. anyways. if i can do this i can probably go back to academia right... #and jesus fuck girl it doesn't have to be mit. it can be a normal school #i can Lower my Standards because they aren't about to lower theirs. haha but what if.... anyways im gonna stick with the same major as my #bachelors cause i did actually enjoy it. and aerospace is boring in comparison. and i wanna figure out how to keep people alive both in #space AND under the ocean. at pressures we were never meant to survive at! Now THAT' would be fun.