#i can't be bothered rereading this to make sure it's not dumb sorry

[cosmicmoved]

HEADCANON for SUMI

actually, this is a headcanon for karam too but this specific post is more sumi-centric so maybe i’ll talk about the karam end of things later. for now, though, it’s sumi’s turn bc i don’t talk about her enough (:

Okay, so I’ve decided to drag Sumi into Karam’s plotline for no reason besides that...I Wanted To but it also helps his plotline make more sense if he has a sort-of go-between character like Sumi in there somewhere. This post will explain what that means and why I’ve come to this decision! Until now, Sumi was kind of just her own character and she wasn’t really tied to any plot besides her own but I didn’t really know what to do with her beyond her backstory. I think this was definitely limiting her as a character so I’d like to use this chance to give her more direction! So, from hereon out, she’s going to be part of the Karam plotline! She’s still her own character but I like making my muses know each other bc,,,idk,...it feels like a more complete universe in my head. Anyway, with that out of the way, I’ll get on to explaining the story behind this connection! Full disclosure though, I’m sticking it under a Read More because it got kind of lengthy. I did TRY to be more succinct but maybe it’s about time I just accept that I’m not capable of that /:

First off, a lot of stuff might be setting or verse-dependent. I guess I’ve written stuff where these muses aren’t strictly based in one country and there’s always the chance of one of them moving somewhere else for the sake of a certain plotline? But the fun thing about rp is its fluidity so I’m going to try and stop getting overly concerned about details that don’t really matter too much. Sumi travels a lot. Maybe Karam tags along sometimes. Shit gets vague. It’s fine. ASDFGHGFDS......

To keep things simple, Sumi is the one who first found Karam when he wound up in the city after his forest was destroyed -- or, rather, she was the first person to try and help him. Other people had likely found/seen him but ignored him one reason or other (he would’ve been pretty dishevelled and tbh,,,probably naked bc what the fuck is he gonna wear clothes in the forest for). As I’ve said before, Sumi can tell when people aren’t human. Her senses aren’t especially strong so she can’t always place what somebody actually is, only if they’re a human or a ghost; she doesn’t have an inherently ability to sense what somebody is but, because she’s spent so much time learning to separate living humans from the spirits of the dead, she’s developed the ability to tell when somebody is neither, even if she can’t say for certain What they are. Because it’s a feat of applied knowledge and not a natural ability, mistakes happen. Now, Karam is a spirit. Not remotely human, despite his appearance. Still, long story short, Sumi mistook him for a ghost and, despite her charging humans for help with their ghostly issues, she’s often willing to help a ghost in need free of charge (because um...ghosts don’t have money). When she found Karam, he was in a state of obvious distress so she assumed he must have been a pretty new ghost, the sort who haven’t at all come to terms with the fact that they are, y’know, dead. Much to her shock, he wasn’t dead and was instead very much alive and tangible but still very much in need of help. More in need of help than she’d expected, in fact.

Sumi has always been the sisterly type so it felt natural to reach out a hand to somebody in need, mostly out of the goodness for heart and because she felt bad for him but also partly because Karam reminds her a little bit of Chulsoo, her late brother (despite being much much older, Karam looks about the age Chulsoo would be if he were still alive) with whom she is in no longer contact despite his being a ghost because he decided to use the afterlife to See The World until he was ready for Sumi to exorcise him. Yikes. That’s another story for another post. She was able to offer Karam a place to stay, a spare room in her apartment (where he’d start this new experience by staying in his room for a fortnight straight, only leaving to slink his way in and out of the bathroom), and help him make sense of a new and confusing world. First, she would offer him her brother’s old clothes to wear and then she would eventually resign herself to the reality of the situation and agree to buy Karam his own clothes, letting him pick out what he liked but also giving him tips wherever possible (financially speaking, this wasn’t her smartest move but she has a guilty pleasure in clothes shopping and the knowledge that she was doing it to help somebody else made her feel better about the whole thing).

In fact, she helped him get tidied up in general. Let him pick out a hairstyle from a pile of magazine and used her experience with hairdressing to replicate it for him. Maybe it’s because Sumi’s rather vain herself (and proud of it, mind you) but she’d fully believed a good start for Karam was to help him discover his own image and use that to regain confidence. Well...that, and the fact he’d looked an absolute state when she found him and she was of the firm belief that it was a shame for him to be wasting his pretty face on dishevelled hair and ill-fitting clothes that hung off him. But, really, Sumi sees her image as the ultimate form of self-expression. The way she styles herself is her way of telling the world who she is --- and, for someone who spends so much time with ghosts, looking as bright and lively as possible means a lot to her --- so she believed that helping Karam with that sort of thing might help him with this strange transition into a new world and come into his own. Yes, she was aware that this plan might fail and Karam might have been distinctly uninterested in his own looks but it ended up working out well. Karam is slow to warm to most very human things but he picked up on this quite quickly and was very willing to engage with it. For Karam, it was a matter of everything changing too fast and those changes being so overwhelming that making these dramatic changes over which he had full control, changes that he made himself and that weren’t forced on him, helped him to process the situation --- but I’ll talk about that in more detail another time, this is Sumi’s post.

Karam is very distrustful of humans and, although he trusts Sumi more than most on account of her having helped him so much, there’s a part of him that is paranoid it’s some kind of trick. Because of this, he tends to keep Sumi at an emotional distance. After all, despite her abilities, she’s still essentially just human and he’s been forced to regretting humans in the past (that is also another story for another time because, again, this is not Karam’s post so I won’t be going into details here). Although it’s frustrating, Sumi understands this and lets Karam keep his distance. She understands that he’s grateful regardless and she doesn’t want to cause any unnecessary discomfort. But, even besides that, their relationship is a little odd simply because they butt heads a lot. She kind of just lets him away with shit because she finds him endearing. Often, Karam won’t even stick around at her place. He’ll just disappear for days on end and resurface when he feels like it but it’s more about the choice to have somewhere he can return. Y’know, the illusion of home. 

Perhaps it’s because of that initial comparison she made between him and Chulsoo or perhaps it’s because he has such a young appearance but, despite the large age gap (wherein Karam is just under 240 years older than her), Karam brings out the big sister in Sumi. Maybe this is also why Karam doesn’t like her that much LMAO...............actually, he kinds of HATES it but asdfghgfd. In the time since she’s met him, she’s seen him struggle with things; she’s seen that he does have good moments and that he’s not intentionally rude in any way so much as he just has a hard time with certain social rules. She’s grown fond of him and feels that she has to try and help him out. Again, it’s hard to say if this is because of the time she spends helping ghosts or if it’s because he ignites the part of her that feels guilty for not being able to protect Chulsoo. It could just be that she’s sincerely worried about Karam. Maybe it’s a combination of them all, Sumi can’t quite tell for herself.

#« 𝐇𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐁𝐈𝐑𝐃 (sᴜᴍɪ) » / 「 headcanon. 」 #« 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐀𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐒𝐋𝐎𝐖 𝐃𝐄𝐂𝐀𝐘 (ᴋᴀʀᴀᴍ) » / 「 headcanon. 」 #like this if u read it i guess!! but no pressure ofc ASDFGH #the actual hc part of this is like 1.2k words long and i was gonna try and revise it but i can't be bothered #i UNDERSTAND if it's too long for anybody to bother reading it but i just wanted to get it out there #im gonna write a drabble abt when she finds him i think and idc if nobody reads it ASDFGHGFDS #i wanna write abt karam from another person's perspective bc writing him just from his OWN perspective doesn't really #let anybody know what kind of vibe he has ?? bc he keeps everything to himself #but also bc i love writing sumi's perspective on ppl bc she's just...she has strong feelings abt things ASDFGFDSA #anyway i just felt it was time i fleshed stuff out for sumi and i feel bad making her a supporting character in another muse's plot but #since she didn't even really have a concrete plotline on her own this is actually BETTER for her #im actually respecting sumi MORE by doing this #bc now she's actually part of smth instead of being that oc i vaguely ignore #also i like making my ocs know each other who cares #i can't be bothered rereading this to make sure it's not dumb sorry

[kewltie]

I can't stop thinking about re:Kasumi. It's not your longest or most extensively written au, but it just speaks to my heart on such a level that whenever I reread the snippets of that au it never fails to bring me to tears. My favorite scenario to think about in that AU is the inevitable breakdown that deku would have, confessing out loud all his feelings of inadequacy and helplessness as a parent, omega, and person that he had bottled inside and had eaten away at him for ten years until he can't take it anymore. Would his confession be to Kasumi? To Kacchan? Or maybe just to himself.... even if Kacchan still hated him at this point for the story, Deku still deserves the chance to be vulnerable. For his feelings to be heard, for someone to listen to him. I don't think Deku should feel sorry for what he did—giving Kasumi away was for her own sake and to give her a chance at a better life than he could have and so, so hard for him—and I don't think anyone with even the slightest smidge of empathy could blame him for it either—but it still hurts. Kacchan and Deku have a lot of apologizing, talking, and forgiveness to do. Not just for each other, but to Kasumi too. I don't doubt that deep down she loves them both, but man....the feeling of knowing/thinking that you were the cause of ruining someone's life or relationships ESPECIALLY of your own parents is not something that disappears with a day and a kiss. I hope that Deku learns how to love himself. I hope Kacchan learns how forgive. But most of all, I hope Kasumi gets to feel the full scope of love from the two people who love her most in the world.

I have more thoughts on your au, but I don't want to bother you too much. I know you're kinda busy w life rn and wish you the best of luck in everything that you do. Please take care 💗

hihihi!!

sorry, i always only published ask if they're anon for privacy sake but i hope it's ok if im able to share your ask on my blog! your feelings about this verse is so well poignant and perfect encapsulation of what i was trying to convey, thank you!!!! ngl re:kasumi is prob my fav kasumi au not only bc of the kasumi + katsuki's dynamic that i get to explore w/o the constraint of kasumi's devotio and loyalty to izuku that make her keeps her wall up around katsuki but also, i have talked extensively about this before, i have a huge soft spot for single parent fic as i grew up in one and the choices they're force to make as a parent alone w/ no support.

it's not always a good one or even necessary bad one either but it's definitely hard. when i was growing up bc my mom had to work a lot to support us, i never had family nights or vacation or any expectations of my mom. like when i was about to graduate high school i didn't even think she was gonna be able to come to my graduation bc of work LOL or when i won some award at school, i went by myself to go collect on honors night so i never really grow close to my mom bc i never really have a chance to sit down and talk to her BUT it wasn't like traumatizing for me; it was just my reality ya know and i dont really regret it bc of my mom's work i was able to live pretty comfortable even if not in excess. im thankful for all the sacrifice she made bc she did A LOT for me and my brother and though i think sometimes i wish that i can easily go up to my mom and sit down and talk to her about my troubles i really can't LOL bc we're not that kind of family but it doesnt mean i dont respect the choices she made while i was growing up to prioritized the welfare of my family more then the personal connections.

im sure it was difficult for her and i think that's why i empathized deeply with izuku. you can call izuku's choice to give kasumi up as dumb but i dont think you should ever dismissed as easy bc izuku lives with his choice for 10 years and god did he suffered for it. thank you for understanding izuku's pov too bc it's so easy to just call him out on his choices and say you do otherwise but when YOU'RE the one in shoes can you really do what you say??? ya know.

and thank you for bringing up about kasumi and how knowing her birth affected her parent's life. i think children should always be allow to be children, sometimes allow to b selfish and shouldn't have to carry the weight of their family but im also aware how fucking expensive and time consuming they are LOL /o\. when i was younger anytime i wanted a new phone or something fancy the other kids had, i didn't fully grasp what they mean for my mom to afford to give it to me bc now that she's older she's experience a lot of back pain for laboring so much in my younger years just to afford all the good stuff. i understand that now but when you're young it's not hard to think the world revolves and you and your teen dramas lol. so yea, parents often make sacrifices that children can't see but as we grow older we become more aware and see the full weight of our parent's choices for us and i come to appreciate and respect my mom more. i think it's like that for kasumi she grew up so pampered and love by everyone but she doesn't realize how the earlier years of her birth cause so much heartache for BOTH of her parents--katsuki who wasn't ready to be a single parent yet WHEN HE STILL HASN'T GRADUATE UA EVEN and izuku who had nobody to support him and so terribly alone and felt the weight of being a parent so young and it's just... tough on them both. sometimes life give you things you're not ready for and it's your fault or theirs; it's just how it is but it doesn't change how if affected everything and her birth derailed their life. bkdk dont regret it but god they went through hell in for it (izuku having to leave kasumi and live w his choices and katsuki having to become a single father at that age). it's fucking sucks but it's not kasumi's fault!! she's a child and isn't responsible for their actions but does she feels the burden of it anyway. it's... tough all around.

ANYWAY, i got ramble-y again lol thanks so much for your comment and food for thoughts bc it's sooo well articulated and capture exactly how i feel about this verse as a whole and i would absolute love hearing more of your thought process if you want to share!!!! i love dumping my thoughts on my 'verses here a lot as you can see and have no shame talking about stuff im sure other aren't interest in so when i see others picking apart one of my verses and is able to capture the essence of it so well, it makes me so happy :D. thanks, i truly appreciate it!!!!! and take care of yourself too!!!!!!<33

#dont worry about bothering me i love rambling LOL #i always have time to talk shit about any of my AUs #the world could be ending and i still be like SO IN STEPDAD AU-- #verse: re:kasumi

[jennyschectersghost]

Hey, I've noticed you post about anxiety before and I just wanted to check in with you and make sure you're alright. I read and reread everything and I still can't see how you did anything wrong. Im thinking people who didn't see the shit go down must have thought you were that first nonny or didn't actually see what you said. It was dumb and I just want you to know that I love your blog and you seem like a really good person. I hope you're having a great day.

I assume this was about about the @bitchmoms drama, and I'm sorry it's taken me so long to reply. You're so very sweet. Thanks for the concern, love, but I'm fine. I mean, it's nerve racking to me because of the very serious subject matter, but I know who I am and what I'm about and so does anyone who's been following me (I would hope).Let me just reiterate that I am truly sorry for getting involved in that conversation at all, in any way, period. That conversation wasn't about me--and even though it had already gone off on a very particular tangent which made me feel like my question was appropriate, it's clear that I inadvertently derailed things further for which I do sincerely apologize. From the bottom of my sad little heart, I'm so sorry. I'm glad some of the anons brought this to my attention because they were making a completely valid point there, and I know I'll be more conscious of these contexts in the future. Truthfully, I don't care how they said it either. They're entitled to their anger, their feelings about it are real and I'm not here to tone police anyone. So if you're at all feeling sorry for me in that way, don't. Just don't. It's alright.That said, what didn't sit well with me was all the blatant misinformation being spread around. I mean, aside from my concern that I might have been getting widely conflated with the anon before me, I feel like the anon who originally addressed me was just going off on shitty things white people generally say...that were...very clearly NOT anything *I* said...?? But by getting involved in that conversation at all (which again, I should not have done), I provided a name and a face to put them on. And then subsequent anons saw me responding to THAT anon and maybe didn't bother to fact chekck, and it just kind of spiraled from there. After being on and off Tumblr dot com for like 8 years now, I cannot even begin to tell you how much shit I've seen go down because people are just reacting to the reactions they saw without bothering to actually check out what it is they're even fucking discussing in the first place. It's truly amazing. I think my favorite part of that first anon was the "color blind" thing, like???? I *obviously* agree? I mean, I have a lot of experience in attempting to engage with the deluded white assholes who really do say garbage like "uwu I don't see color," and I can promise you that NONE of those fucks would be concerned about the possibility of appropriation in the first place because they refuse to understand that it exists. Like. By the sheer force of their own denial, they live in a "post racial" fantasy world where it can't exist, so they just shut it out. They would NEVER pose that kind of question in the first place BECAUSE they literally like to pretend that "race doesn't matter."My second favorite thing was the anon who informed me that my hair is actually "wavy" and not actually curly, based on one photo set from 3 years ago where I noted that I hadn't flat ironed it by rhetorically referring to it as being in its "natural state" (even though it technically wasn't because l struggle deeply with body image which my hair has been an integral part of, lol--although in retrospect, that was probably a poor choice of words on multiple levels). Like you, you a stranger on the internet who has never actually seen me and didn't even bother to look at all of the few pictures I've posted here, YOU are going to tell ME what my own fucking hair is like, the hair I've had...on my head...since I was fucking born... Okay. If I really should be calling it "wavy" and not curly, I guess I've been getting lied to my entire fucking life by literally everyone I've ever known, including everyone who's ever done my hair, which is...not impossible, I guess? But it sure seems unlikely.I'm thinking there are definitely different standards out there of what "curly" means--but certainly by the awful mainstream white ones that get shoved down everyone's throats, I think it's pretty safe to say that my hair is naturally curly. My DNA gave me relatively loose curls but curls nonetheless. Other words I used to describe my hair included thick, dry and frizzy. Again, these are words I have heard my entire life. I think in one comment, I also noted that it has been described as "ethnic."I NEVER ONCE said that it had been described as "nappy" or "kinky," nor did I describe it in those ways myself. I WOULD LITERALLY NEVER SAY THAT, but one anon plainly misread my words and then suddenly I was being lumped in with actual overt bigots. I am NOT okay with that which is why I felt like I *had* to keep responding. Call me annoying all you want, I give absolutely zero fucks about going down in Recent Mumblr History as Annoying or whatever, but don't misreport my words or misconstrue my beliefs so deeply.