#i call myself a girl but i don't use she/her pronouns jsyk. gender things

[saspitite]

i really wish i could relate to posts other autistic people make of their childhood where they actually knew they had autism. it's like a different life. i wish i could've figured myself out as a preschooler, as a kid, as a teenager, that i was different and there was an explanation and that it was okay.

but like. i dunno. i never got that. every time the possibility of getting tested came up, it was always "no, you have friends" or "no, you don't have a completely flat voice" or "no, you can speak in full sentences" or "no, girls don't have autism"

girls don't have autism

i learned to mask for my survival and now its being used to discredit my struggles. sometimes i wish i never had to deal with this. but i don't know, i can't imagine myself not-autistic. i literally can't imagine it. that's me.

i'm just not allowed to be me

#sas says #autism #actually autistic #autistic experiences #maybe im just dramatic. i dont know. im not claiming to have the worst experience in the world #i just hate it here #also just in case this breaches containment of just my followers: #i call myself a girl but i don't use she/her pronouns jsyk. gender things