i really wish i could relate to posts other autistic people make of their childhood where they actually knew they had autism. it's like a different life. i wish i could've figured myself out as a preschooler, as a kid, as a teenager, that i was different and there was an explanation and that it was okay.
but like. i dunno. i never got that. every time the possibility of getting tested came up, it was always "no, you have friends" or "no, you don't have a completely flat voice" or "no, you can speak in full sentences" or "no, girls don't have autism"
girls don't have autism
i learned to mask for my survival and now its being used to discredit my struggles. sometimes i wish i never had to deal with this. but i don't know, i can't imagine myself not-autistic. i literally can't imagine it. that's me.
i'm just not allowed to be me
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School is making me "set goals" and i think that i might set one as "hang myself"
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hxh being back for the first time in years while i’m an a3 consummed person at heart is going to give me a heartattack, i scrolled peacefully on my dash to a post going “so now here’s what’s going to happen with Hisoka on the murder boat” and i was just “why would Hisoka be on a murder boat he doesn’t murder people her- oh fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you” this is the worst experience ever
i lost my banner from back then so another one to protect this post
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Why is it that horror genre women (or just like action women) always get the two tank top outfit
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the autistic fun time of throwing up in the school bathroom because your boxers are too tight and touching you in the most wrong way possible 👍
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Back in the office so you know what that means
Ignoring all the tasks I need to do in favor of answering ask and drabbling here and there about ideas I had when I was spoonless
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Really wish I didn’t have impulse control issues rn bc I promised myself I’d wait a couple months to really think through and thoroughly plan my move with the goal simply to be out of this state and working on my new state residency by the time the overturn of Roe gets voted on...but the urge to jump ship NOW after a mere week of research and planning is so fucking strong. I want OUT. I don’t even have any kind of ID anymore to make it feasible at this present moment in time but I need away from here ASAP.
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Is it Postpartum Depression? A Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder episode? Stay tuned!
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if germany has a million haters, then i am one of them. if it has ten haters, then i am one of them. if it has only one hater then that is me. if germany has no haters, then that means i am no longer on earth. if the world loves germany, then i am against the world.
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”Men think about the Roman Empire” “What’s the female version of the Roman Empire” SHUT UPPPPP. SHUT THE FUCK UPPPPPP. AS A WOMAN I LOVE THE ROMAN EMPIRE. AS A WOMAN I LOVE ANCIENT HISTORY AND BATTLES AND POLITICAL INSTABILITY. THE “GIRL VERSION OF THE ROMAN EMPIRE” IS THE ROMAN EMPIRE. IM GOING TO STAB YOU 23 TIMES
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