#hisoka and sasaki tbt.

[lightcreators]

@louveteauperdu​ continue from here

Sasaki blinked a few time. Then he looked up at Hisoka. He was unsure right now what they were talking about. He looked down at his notebook in front of himself. He could always ask to Hirano for his help. They were friend and the other would help me. Probably because he knew that Sasaki was smart and that he just needed motivation to study. He never really understood why Hirano was his friend. He tilted his head an he put down his pencil. “Are we always talking about the English lesson or…?” He asked tilting a little his head. It was the first time he asked to Hisoka for his help with homework.

High  school  atmosphere,  when  he  was  enjoyed  it,  beyond  been  a  place  attached  a  ‘mission’  was  associated  to  another  ambiance  himself  had  to  get  accustomed  :  murmurs  of  the  students  among  themselves  in  whispers,  pleasure  of  meeting  at  lunch  break,  emotions  that  crossed  each  student,  this  little  piece  of  miniature  society  that  he  had  never  touched  during  his  lifetime  …  Enma-Cho  Division  learned  at  their  expense  for  some  time  to  make  concessions:  to  accept  the  help  of  an  outside  person  as  a  reinforcement  agent  if  necessary  (  having  a  possibility  of  affording  this  kind  of  entry  because  of  his  name  )  ;  to  know  all  the  splendor  of  the  world  of  witches  in  the  example  of  one  person  who  had  caused  them  a  lot  of  troubles  because  he  was  uncontrollable  ;  to  let  one  of  their  best  agents  enjoy  a  mortal  life  …  he  probably  wouldn’t  get  paid  for  a  long  time,  but  he  didn’t  care.  This  allowed  him  to  forget  a  recent  recurring  with  a  certain  doctor.  To  stabilize  and  anchor  himself  his  daily  fear  of  being  swallowed  up  by  sleep.  Better  control  their  empathy.  Tsuzuki  wasn’t  going  to  let  him  down,  and  he  could  bet  he  was  going  to  check  in  on  him  regularly,  not  to  worry.  For  this  reason,  he  couldn’t  judge  anything  about  what  current  time  period  proposed.  He  couldn’t  even  talk  at  the  time  period  where  he  had  been  living  how  he  had  been  …  If  he  even  learned  how  to  speak  english,  it  was  because  a  British  witch  decided  to  settled  down  in  Jū  Ō  Chō  as  interim  work  as  a  whim  to  watch  how  Shinigami  of  their  grade  worked,  if  it’s  was  even  possible  to  bring  that  job  post  on  his  resume  among  his  afterlife  occupations.  Somewhere,  indirectly,  somehow,  his  note  left  in  the  atmosphere  went  beyond  homework  help.    ❝  Partially.  Recent  memories  of  hardship  have  come  to  the  surface  …  at  least  I’m  lucky  to  have  understanding  employers.    ❞  One  day,  he  would  have  to  explain  how  uncomfortable  he  was  with  remembering  of  a  certain  Muraki.  How  he  was  pleased  to  enjoying  fresh  joyful  existence.  How  he  was  glad  to  spending  time  focusing  less  on  hatred  and  revenge  desire  for  sadly  having  to  met  his  murderer  time  to  time  in  middle  of  murders  …  It  was  also  funny,  from  an  outside  perspective,  to  speak  already  of  'employers’  when  he  should  been  only  a  student  in  high  school  …  When  he  could  feeling  alive  even  with  awareness  he  wasn’t  'alive’  anymore,  but  still,  had  a  body,  could  still  live  regardless  —    ❝  Someday,  I  will  have  to  tell  you,  about  these  hardships.  ❞    He  reassured  gently,  not  wanting  to  worrying  him  with  words  left  unsaid.    ❝    I  understand  more  or  less  ;  although  it’s  not  as  simple  as  I  thought.  I  would  never  have  imagined  these  mandatory  English  lessons  for  fluid  communication  will  be  useful  —  unfortunately  I  had  oral  exams  at  the  office.    ❞

#louveteauperdu #ic :: hisoka kurosaki #( ♚) post interconnected subplot #( 💕 ) sasaki to miyano #another blonde with issues but different atmosphere lol #as compromise before Pain #hisoka and sasaki tbt.

[lightcreators]

@louveteauperdu continue from here

“Ah…” Sasaki replied and he blinked a few time. He tilted a little his head. He knew he was different with Hisoka than the other. And he was not so surprised that Hisoka remarked it. He looked down a few seconds. He was more warmed and gentle and soft in his voice when he talked with him. He acted like he was really interested by what the younger said. He knew he was more cold and rude with the other. He always acted like he was annoyed by everything and that he just wanted to take a nap. But with Hisoka it was different… And not only because he had a crush for him. Maybe he was in love with him? Shuumei was not so sure about his own feeling. It was a new thing for him. “Sorry if I was rude in my tone.” He finally murmured and he looked up with a light smile. “I mean… It is not that I am not myself with you or with the other….” For what he cared about what the people could think about him… He was not a very friendly and sociable person. “It is just… I don’t want to hurt you with my word. With you I feel more alive and happy and I care a lot about you. I like our all relationship, the all time we pass together.. I just try to be nice because I want to be kind and soft with you.” He tried to explain. “Sorry it doesn’t make sense I guess.” He added with a blush on the cheek.

There  was  no  need  to  hide  behind  illusions  with  him  …  Not  simply  because,  without  saying  anything,  just  by  standing  next  to  the  concerned,  he  would  feel  reality  of  circumstances  but  also  because  his  gentleness  wouldn’t  change  regardless.  It  was  possibily  one  of  advantages  to  had  deal  with  the  Witch  of  Illusions  :  he  didn’t  care  anymore  if  people  lie  from  protect  him,  protecting  themselves,  escaping  on  their  own  suffering  with  that  solution  …  He  wasn’t  going  to  take  it  badly.  Even  since  he  had  been  associated  with  his  job,  he  discovered  these  joy  into  long-term  friendship  and  understanding,  growing  up  from  a  isolated  boy  weary  to  trust.  He  learned  somewhere  about  how    bouncing  back  towards  returned  emotions    —  whatever  it’s  was  about  deep  affection  he  might  have  for  him  …  or  hidden  despair.  He  remained  an  desired  anchor  to  Tsuzuki  no  matter  how  much  they  usually  doesn’t  speak  about  it,  when  depressive  thoughts  and  worthlessness  feelings  wrapped  his  being  at  time.  He  somehow  managed  to  open  a  door  into  terrible  Witch’s  mindset,  reflecting  something  personal  between  each  other,  staying  quiet.  As  he  must  do  same  now  —

He  noticed  how  Sasaki-kun  voice  changed  on  his  presence,  how  he  could  hear  echo  of  his  joyfulness  inside  of  him,  how  he  was  doing  everything  he  could  for  avoid  a  hurt  between  them.  How  he  appreciated  him  for  who  he  was,  for  all  their  time  together.  If  before,  he  would  have  struggled  to  coping  with  recent  emotions  such  as  ones  he  was  also  feeling  …  he  had  to  dealing  with  unwanted  seduction  and  realization  over  his  attraction  all  by  himself.  It  wasn’t  something  he  wanted  speak  out  loud,  but  since  his  friends  noticed,  they  managed  to  allowing  accepteance  easier  for  him.  It  wasn’t  like  he  could  offer  him  everything  someone  else  could  —    ❝  I  didn’t  get  the  impression  you  were  rude.    ❞  He  admitted  slowly.  ‘Rude’  had  an  definition  changed  meanwhile  —  causing  endless  whims  ;  torturing  him  with  undesired  recollections.  That  was  deeply  harsh.  Correcting  him  or  raising  a  voice  was  just  something  that  happens.  In  fact,  he  was  one  of  nicest  and  caring  person  he  knew.    ❝  You  didn’t  hurt  me.    ❞  He  reassured.  An  passing  happiness  created  an  uncontrollable  blush  about  compliment  he  received,  when  though  there  was  no  words,  his  green  eyes  exposed  how  mutual  it’s  was.    ❝  I  also  love  every  time  we  spend  together.  Sometimes  I  feel  a  little  cloud  of  happiness  envelop  me  when  I  think  about  you.    ❞    Loving  him  remained  complicated.  Beyond  his  problem  about  accepting  physical  touch  more  often,  beyond  his  empathy,  beyond  his  risk  to  been  wrapped  by  Hypnos  hands  forever  …  he  would  be  the  one  who  would  see  him  growing  old  and  accompany  him  to  the  other  side  at  the  end,  separated  by  death  at  some  point,  since  he  had  no  right  to  rest.  He  preferred  to  think  about  it  already,  for  having  had  this  torment  in  relation  to  Hijiri  :    no  matter  these  ties  remained  exceptional,  he  was  on  other  side,  he  was  in  this  conflict  of  giving  sweetness  to  something  that  could  be  awful.  To  accompany  them  to  the  end  with  all  his  deep  affections.  Even  beyond  not  knowing  how  to  offer  a  defiled  and  cursed  body  to  someone  else.  Beyond  even  not  wanting  someone  to  touch  his  soul  afraid  of  what  they  might  find.    ❝  You  are  nice.  You  don’t  have  to  play  a  role  with  me,  to  change  yourself .  You’re  kinder  that  you’ve  imagine.  You  want  my  happiness,  for  thank  me  to  make  you  happy  …  as  much  I  want  it  myself.    ❞

#louveteauperdu #ic :: hisoka kurosaki #( ♚) post interconnected subplot #( 💕 ) sasaki to miyano #hisoka and sasaki tbt.

[lightcreators]

@louveteauperdu continue from here

Shuumei was not so sure it would never change. One day maybe Hisoka would be in love with another person. Maybe they would not stay close and together a long time. He could not be sure they would always be together in one year. Maybe he was unsure by nature. But he could not imagine they would stay together their all life. He wanted it of course. He wanted to be sure they would be in love for the eternity. He didn’t think he could love less Hisoka one day. But he was not always positive about his own person. He could not suppress the all doubt and nervousness inside his own soul. He bit his lower lip a little. Finally he smiled shyly and he blushed deeply. “I care about you too. I will always be there for you.” He murmured and he licked nervously his own lips. “And it will never change, even if one day you would stop to want me in your life…” He added softly. “I love you.”

Pure  gentleness  had  been  expressed  within  every  single  of  his  sentence,  wishing  to  be  reassuring,  wishing  to  sending  warm,  hoping  somehow  able  to  bring  an  smile  …  It  was  a  delicate  acknoweldgment  for  all  their  time  together,  all  moments  they  had  yet  to  live.  ‘Finishing’  high  school,  on  his  side,  was  purely  accessory  —  just  a  way  to  stay  by  his  side  (  having  the  administrative  right  to  his  work  ),  an  opportunity  to  keep  in  touch  with  one  of  his  friends  in  a  easier  dynamic  …  but  all  these  academic  efforts,  despite  opening  the  door  to  another  future,  were  purely  ephemeral.  No  matter  how  much  time  passed,  he  could  no  longer  have  that  right  to  be  grown  old,  to  have  a  sense  of  complete  inclusion  to  'already  have  a  job’  in  mortal  world.  For  his  part,  he  wanted  to  continue  to  support  his  friend  beyond  high  school  —  whether  it  was  university,  whether  it  was  afterwards  …  where  despite  the  proximity  between  their  two  worlds,  he  would  be  obliged  at  some  point  or  another  to  find  themselves  'reduced’  to  their  work  obligations.  He  had  negotiated  his  compromise  only  for  high  school.  Where  eventually  his  name  would  disappear  from  the  archives,  having  been  a  passing  shadow.  No  doubt  he  had  matured  enough  not  to  personally  feel  insecure  …  before  feeling  his  emotions  clouded  by  this  sensation  of  a  giant  black  hole  of  panic  that  he  felt  deep  inside  him.  He  felt  uncomfortable  in  spite  of  himself,  embarrassed,  even  hesitating  to  look  at  him  when  he  knew  perfectly  it  wasn’t  his  emotion.  He  couldn’t  handle  those  kinds  of  reflection  yet  :  he  had  hundreds  of  fairly  recent  memories  where  a  constant  mix  of  distress,  anger,  feelings  of  abandonment,  fear  had  tugged  him  corners  of  his  being  that  he  had  to  isolate  himself  ;  finding  ways  to  soften  endless  emotional  attacks  …  subconsciously  he  didn’t  want  to  go  through  that  again.  Subconsciously  he  didn’t  want  to  synchronize  with  every  emotion.  He  still  controlled  nothing  of  it.  As  if  this  mirror  that  was  continually  projected  came  back  to  him,  having  no  desire  to  worry  him,  his  gaze  echoed  a  vibrating  anxiety  that  resonated  into  his  friend’s  soul,  keeping  a  sweet  smile.  It  was  a  whisper  but  his  answer  increased  his  expression  of  happiness.    ❝  There’s  no  reason  why  I  wouldn’t  want  you  anymore.    ❞  It  was  quite  ironic  to  come  face  to  face  with  the  expression  'in  your  life’  in  front  of  a  Shinigami:  it  was  long  over.  The  kind  of  bond  he  created  with  him  could  last  beyond  mortal  standards.  He  was  going  to  have  to  ask  his  superiors  for  a  few  clearances  —  to  become  a  guardian,  to  become  a  special  guide  for  his  soul  —  to  make  their  relationship  last  painlessly.  He  felt  himself  blushing  brutally  at  his  confession,  where  temporarily,  it  allowed  to  prevent  other  emotion  from  taking  over.  At  least,  before  he  felt  his  hands  shaking,  where  the  beating  of  his  heart  gave  a  loud  symphony  in  his  ears.    He  learned  to  deal  with  it  this  with  a  certain  witch  where  he  had  to  replace  a  raised  voice  by  keep  his  composure.  ❝    I  love  you  too.  You  don’t  have  to  worry.    ❞

#louveteauperdu #ic :: hisoka kurosaki #( ♚) post interconnected subplot #( 💕 ) sasaki to miyano #hisoka and sasaki tbt.