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thehautegoddess · 5 years

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a goddess is clear on the attributes of her #goddesstribe

one of the biggest life lessons i have learned is the danger of aligning myself with people who are not a part of my tribe. mistaking the wrong person for a safe space is perilous, as there is a certain level of trust and vulnerability that is assumed amongst your people. therefore, a #goddess must get clear on the attributes of her #goddesstribe so that she can properly vet the people she meets. through trial and error, i have learned that there are some distinct attributes in the women i consider my #goddesstribe. #highvibrationenergy is probably one of the most important. i made the mistake of thinking that just because a former friend used some of the same language, we were of the same tribe. she spoke of alignment and moon ceremonies, but there were flashes of darkness in some of her comments toward me. it is one thing to have a temporary low-vibe moment and say generally less than kind things, or have a misaligned attitude where you vent to your tribe about your difficulties, but it is another thing altogether to think it is ok to be nasty toward your tribe members – especially a new friend with whom you have no history or unresolved issues. i realized her behavior triggered me because it reminded me of a breakdown of a friendship group i experienced years prior where i noticed that one of the women started to take these subtle jabs at me. it was never anything overt, but enough for me to know that something was rotten in denmark! after i took stock of my friendships with my true tribe, i realized that we never spoke to each other that way. sure, we may have disagreements, but we did not intentionally “shade” or hurt one another. that is low and tacky energy. run for the hills if you are experiencing this with anyone, because God told me to tell you: SHE IS NOT YOUR FRIEND. #selfawareness is also key – i have had some very difficult experiences with friends who lack the ability to look within. i found these relationships so challenging because these women were oblivious to how they made others feel, as well as somewhat vapid and disconnected. i crave deep and meaningful connections with people willing to do their work, so these situations felt empty and surface. #confident women are my people! i do NOT do well with insecure women. i know everyone is insecure about certain aspects of themselves, but some women are insecure about most things, and those are not my people. it is important to be able to accept your flaws but still hold your head high and know you are fabulous! people without that ability tend to feel insecure around women who possess it, and it leads to all kinds of unpleasantness.

#empathy is another key attribute. i am an empath, so i not only feel my emotions intensely, i am able to pick up on other people’s feelings as well and consider their perspectives. i was once friends with a woman who had no empathy – if a person’s lifepath was unlike hers, she was judgmental and unsupportive. this was a very painful experience, as i felt unsafe and judged for making mistakes. you do not have to be mother theresa, but the basic ability to see life from a vantage point other than your own is required. #selflessness is also important. i grew up watching the most selfless woman i have ever met, my mother, be there for everyone in her life. i am no where near as amazing as she is, but i try to be a good friend and have always held my friendships in high regard. unfortunately, i had to learn the hard way that the way i show up is not standard. experiencing selfishness in my friendships is devastating because it is so hurtful when you realize that the people you love, and support are not willing (or able) to show up for you in the same way. those are not your people.

now that i have identified these core traits, i now have a framework by which i can determine how much of myself to give to existing friendships, as well as potential new friends. despite it all, i am deeply grateful for these experiences, as i now have a recipe for peaceful and loving connections i can utilize moving forward. and so it is! 😊

meditation moment: what are your #goddesstribe attributes? take stock of the people you allow access to your sacred inner circle – do the two align?

let’s discuss – log in to disqus to comment! you are a goddess – love yourself! now go do your work 😊 until next time!

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