#her because she wants the money i could bring (my salary last year wasn't mine it all went to the family)

[rapha-reads]

My mother cheating on my father with a guy 30 years younger than her and when we tell her it's disgusting and unacceptable she tries to justify herself like "Oh, this is so Christian moral and catechism puritanism from you" and "This is the patriarchy that's talking".

.... Are... Are you trying to justify your CHEATING on your husband since 1990 on feminism and freedom? ABSOLUTELY THE FUCK NOT, YOU WILL. She thinks she's not in the wrong because, what, fuck her Christian education and she's a woman, she can do anything she wants ? Is she FUCKING KIDDING ME???

YOU CHEATED, YOU ARE CHEATING, YOU'VE BEEN CHEATING FOR MONTHS, YOU FUCKING JERK.

You hurt your husband, you threw him out of the house, you hurt your children, you think you can come back to my father's village? Your youngest daughter is TWELVE, and you're hurting her so much she's bottling everything in so well she could win an Oscar already, AND YOU THINK EVERYTHING IS OKAY AND YOU HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING WRONG OR MORALLY REPREHENSIBLE ?

What sort of fucked up imaginary world are you living in that cheating is acceptable. For heaven's sake. She had the galls to tell me "adultery is banal, it's ordinary, everybody is doing it, it's not serious; don't be so dramatic". *screams* Hi, hey, if everybody is jumping off the bridge, are you going to jump too? Have you not PAID ATTENTION? Wars, murders, catastrophes have been done because of CHEATING, it is not a MODEL, it's a warning!!! Wtf, wtf, WTF.

I'm tired, I'm so tired. I have a thesis to write and I can't bring myself to work because my mother is throwing away all her life, acting in a shameful and unacceptable way, and disrespecting her family. My grandfather and my uncle and aunts aren't aware yet, but when they learn, oh boy, they might jump in a plane for Morocco to go yell at her.

Anyway. I'm having a real bad time these days and my only solace, my only salvation, are my sisters and my brother.

#rapha talks #so this rant is on one hand to let you know why i'm not very active right now and on the other hand just to rant bc i needed to get it out #on telling her that there is a real imbalance a giant red flag in her rship with the guy she tries to tell me i'm being patriarchal #Is she fucking kidding me #did she get a lobotomy in secret and that's why she's dropped her brain off and is acting in that unrecognizable way???? #because we (siblings+father) are truly starting to believe that she's actually sick for acting like that #she tried to explain that she's free and she can do whatever she wants because it's her life and she can't resist her desires #???????????? #I AM CONFUSION #i know you guys don't have all the details in hand but please please tell me we're not blowing things out of proportion #because i'm seriously starting to doubt my sanity my morals and my grasp on reality #i'm having a bad depressive episode right now and the one person who was 50% of my support system is gone #(as an added layer of unhealthiness: the guy in question is 23 + a blackafrican immigrant in morocco undocumented - she's white and settled #yeah there ABSOLUTELY NO aspect of this whole thing that's either sane or moral or acceptable #and i am going crazy and my father is in very bad shape he's not sleeping or eating anymore #and she refuses to question herself or think over her actions #oh and the other thing is that they both (parents) want me to come home to get a job back where i worked last year #her because she wants the money i could bring (my salary last year wasn't mine it all went to the family) #him so i can take a flat and take my youngest sister with me because i'm the second mother and she can't stay with Her and her lover #and i am so tired #so very tired

[mbrainspaz]

oops went off on my conservative gran again last night because I called to complain about the housing market because I'll never be able to afford a place to live again unless my salary magically doubles and nobody is paying that much. Naturally she decided to bring up my rich uncles the Dallas slumlords. me: I just wish I could buy property because I hate renting. I'm so sick of funneling all my money into the pockets of the greedy rich landlords. I wish we could stop them from buying up all the property so that people like me could afford to live.

gran: What about all the people who can't afford to buy property?

me: if there weren't all these landlords monopolizing housing, it would be more affordable.

gran: But that's what your uncles do. They buy up apartments and get companies to run them.

me: I know. that's why I don't get along with them so good. I really don't like that they're slumlords.

gran: UPH! Ah! Yuh—you can't say that! And you love your uncles!

me: Actually I haven't gotten along with uncle 2 very well at all since 2020 when we were at their house for christmas and he had the audacity to complain to me —who was literally homeless at the time— that he wasn't allowed to kick out all the tenants who were failing to pay rent during the pandemic. While he was drinking a $400 glass of whisky at his lake house where he keeps part of his luxury car collection.

gran: he didn't say that.

[#gaslightgatekeepgirlboss]

me: he did. I didn't say anything at the time because I didn't want to start a fight at christmas but I'll never forget it.

[I also made a post about it about 5 minutes after it happened because that's what you do when you've spent your whole life being gaslit by your family.]

I actually found out they were slumlords back in 2017, another time I was struggling with housing. I was talking about my struggles and Uncle 1 jokingly offered to let me rent a place in Dallas for a discount. He jokes like that all the time. One time he offered to buy me a car when mine was breaking down. Haha so funny. But this time I was so desperate I didn't realize he was joking. When I earnestly asked him if I could do that he immediately backtracked and said "you wouldn't want to rent the places we own." "I would though," I said. "I just want a place to live." "No," he said, "the buildings we own are run down and in bad parts of town." Like... buddy. My guy. Mine uncle. I'd just spent the last year renting a house where my next door neighbor kept 6 broken fridges in her front yard as lawn ornaments, my backyard neighbors beat their dogs, my front yard was a parking lot, and the abandoned house at the end of the street had creepy dolls in the windows. The absolute inability of the rich to comprehend or even acknowledge the struggles of the poor eternally flabbergasts me. And crazily enough I'd just had the exact same conversation with a rich christian guy from my church in Oklahoma City who owned slums there. Funny how I know so many people who own so much housing and yet they always look at me, a hard-working young pretty white girl (at the time) who should never have to face hardship according their f*cked up white supremacist prosperity gospel worldviews, and immediately confess that they're slumlords. It's almost like this is a systemic problem or something.

#capitalist hellscape #all landlords are bastards #corporate american hellscape #rant #alab #poverty #homelessness #housing crisis #tax the wealthy #house the homeless #prosperity gospel #american evangelicals #gaslight gatekeep girlboss #dialogue from memory #save me from my family