#hell i got left outside once cuz i didnt hear the whistle and was very absorbed in what i was doing so i didnt notice the other kids going

[two-calicos-in-a-trenchcoat]

I was thinking about stuff from elementary school again

So like

At my school we weren't allowed to bring stuffed animals to school unless we saved up enough gold slips to have that as a reward for a day

I regularly disregarded this rule and kept a stuffed animal in my backpack without my teachers knowledge

But there were a couple instances where I got ratted out or one occasion in second grade where I'd let my stuffed dog have its head poking out of my backpack and because its head weighed more than its body it fell out and another kid grabbed it and I was sobbing and had to tell my teacher about it

And I got scolded for it every time

HOWEVER

Not only do I think that rule is just fucking stupid

But as I was thinking about it

Having a stuffed animal in my backpack was like 90% of the reason I didn't just try to fuckin bounce at recess some days

Like I may not have technically lived within walking distance but I still KNEW how to get home from my school. Go down Princeton til you get to the big 4 way intersection. Turn left. Go straight til you get to the gas station. Turn right. Walk past the gas station. Turn right again then BOOM theres my apartment.

So there were days when I strongly considered just making a run for it at recess. Realistically I probably wouldn't have made it very far before they caught me. But my fear of getting in trouble might not have been enough to stop me from trying if I hadn't had a stuffed animal in my backpack that I would be leaving behind if I left then. And that was a distressing enough thought that I never actually tried it.

#hell i got left outside once cuz i didnt hear the whistle and was very absorbed in what i was doing so i didnt notice the other kids going #in and i noticed after my class had already gone in and i ran up to the teachers before they could direct the other 2 classes in #and that was the only reason they noticed i didnt go in with my class #so if id just hid out for a minute until they all went in i probably wouldve had a good 5 minutes before anyone realized i was gone #and couldve made a break for it #probably couldve made it at least to the end of princeton before anyone caught up to me #oh and there was that time in middle school when my science class did ''a walk through the solar system'' #where the teacher had marked out to scale how far all the planets were from each other within like...idk a mile? 2 miles? from the school #and made us walk there and back for the class #and me and my friends werent super athletic so we ended up getting left behind on the way back #one of my friends called her mom to pick her up #but the teacher just straight up left us out there #that was another time id considered just saying fuck it and going home #and while i didnt have a stuffed animal in my backpack at the school waiting for me my anxiety was much higher by that point #so that held me back then #but i still considered it #honestly if i hadnt been so worried about getting in trouble i probably wouldve accepted my friends offer to ride #back in her moms car with her lol #one time we got my friend althea to ask the security guard at our middle school what hed do if we all just made a run for it #during our outside time we got after lunch #i dont remember what his answer was tho #anxiety also kept me from bouncing at lunch in highschool lol #we got to leave and go to any of the fast food restaurants near by at lunch and we usually had our backpacks with us #ik there were kids that did just bounce at lunch #but there were cops everywhere so i wouldve wanted to go home instead of just hiding out somewhere til the end of the day #and i didnt have a car til the last week of senior year #like yall were lucky i have anxiety otherwise i wouldve just peaced the fuck out when i wasnt feeling it #my dad certainly did #my dad is me with far less anxiety #except i probably wouldnt have ever set the bathrooms on fire