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popculturedwithmoviemike · 7 years

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My Favorite Movie Hitmen of All-Time This is a list of the best hitmen in film history. Hitmen have always been an interesting character for Hollywood. They are often enigmatic and highly dangerous, but also usually really awesome. My list takes many factors into consideration. How cool they are and how dangerous they are were two of the main factors.

1 - Léon - Léon: The Professional Can he be any cooler? He's quiet, he's got an awesome knit hat, kickass shades, likes taking care of his plant and he gets to hang out with Natalie Portman all day. Granted, she's like 12 in the film, but Leon never becomes creepy. His relationship with Mathilda is strictly platonic and he is more of a fatherly figure to her. Did I also mention that he has a bunch of badass guns and boy does he know how to use them? 2 - Jason Bourne - The Bourne Franchise No offense to Mr. Bond, James Bond, but Jason Bourne would destroy 007 (any of them) before his martini was finished being shaken (not stirred.) He's just lethal and the amazing thing is that it's literally a knee jerk reaction for him. Breaking bones is like breathing or blinking with this guy. He's also incredibly intelligent which makes him even more deadly. Jason Bourne doesn't even need a gun or a knife to work a dude over. He can use anything within his reach. It doesn't matter if it's a ballpoint pen or a rolled up magazine, if it's in Jason Bourne's hands, you're a dead man. 3 - John Wick - The John Wick Franchise Don't mess with a man's dog or his car. In John Wick's world, he's essentially a myth, a legend for fellow assassins to whisper about. You can see why. Wick is like a machine. Every bullet he fires hits its mark and he's just as deadly with close quarters combat. Like any good hitman, he also looks stylish doing it. As you will see with many of the people on this list, John Wick doesn't say much. He does his talking with his guns. 4 - Anton Chigurh - No Country for Old Men Man who hires Wells: [about Chigurh] "Just how dangerous is he?" Carson Wells: "Compared to what? The bubonic plague?" This quote perfectly sums up the level of danger that Anton Chigurh brings to the table. He truly is like a plague. A deadly virus that does not discriminate on who it kills. That's not to say Chigurh doesn't have rules. He does and that's what makes him such an interesting character. If you play by his rules, you live. Simple as that. The fascinating thing about Chigurh and his seemingly unstoppable evil is that even a force like him is not invincible. In fact, what almost take him out? A little old lady running a stop sign. 5 - The Bride - Kill Bill Vols. 1 & 2 "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." Damn, they weren't kidding. You do not want to get on this woman's list because she will hunt you down and remove your eyeball from your optical lobe with her fingers. That's just her being nice. Most times she just chops you up into little itty bitty pieces. The Bride is the first female on my list, and easily the best person with a blade. 6 - Terminator - The Terminator Should The Terminator be higher on the list? Maybe, but he's a cyborg. He should be an unstoppable hitman. Terminator has cool sunglasses, rides a motorcycle and has a knack for delivering killer one-liners. I guess the only thing that knocks him down a few slots is that the first version of him is often thwarted by a teenage girl. The other problem with Terminator is that he lacks stealth and subtlety. 7 - Jules Winnfield - Pulp Fiction He recites bible scripture before he ices your ass. Come on, it doesn't get much cooler than that. Jules doesn't recite the scripture because he's overly religious and wants to be respectful to the soon-to-be-dead thug. No, he admits that the only reason why he does it is that he thought it was a "cold-blooded thing to say before I popped a cap in someone's ass." Jules also sports a pretty groovy jerry curled afro. 8 - Alejandro - Sicario Alejandro is the strong, silent type. Don't be fooled though, he's just as ruthless as anybody on this list. All you have to do is watch the end of Sicario and you'll understand what I'm talking about. The man is cold-blooded. I can't say I blame him given the circumstances. 9 - Sorter - Revolver The first hitman on my list that is a relative unknown. I doubt most people have even heard of the film, let alone the character. Sorter is played by the great character actor Mark Strong from the Guy Ritchie film Revolver. Unfortunately, Revolver is kind of a bad movie. Sorter is hands down the best part of the film. He's so cool that it's worth watching the movie just for him. Sure, he looks like an accountant with his bald head and thick rimmed glasses, but make no mistake, Sorter will punch your ticket faster that you can add 2+2. The guy took out three bad guys who were in another room just by sticking his gun through a hole in a wall and watching on a surveillance monitor. Come on, son. 10 - Smith - Shoot 'Em Up Smith just might be the most talented hitman on this list. He delivers a baby while in the middle of a shootout, he wastes a host of goons while having sex with Monica Bellucci and never skips a beat. You don't even want to know how deadly he can be with a carrot. Eat your vegetables, kids. Actually, you should see how deadly he is with a carrot. Not enough people caught this one when it was in theaters. 11 - Victoria - Red She's like 70 and still looks sexy in an evening gown. Oh, did I mention she likes playing with guns? I don't care that she's old enough to be a grandmother, she's still smokin' hot. Next. 12 - Vincent - Collateral The constant professional. It's just a job to Vincent. No hard feelings. The thing that makes Vincent interesting is the fact that there is a sadness to his character. Vincent is also rocking that gray head of hair to match his sharp gray suit. 13 - Ah Jong - The Killer I love The Killer. It's one of the best action films of all-time and includes some truly memorable scenes. Scenes that have been copied numerous times throughout the years by Hollywood. In fact, Shoot 'Em Up pays homage to The Killer with the scene with the shootout while holding an infant. Unfortunately, Ah Jong's story centers on a hit gone wrong. He accidentally blinded a woman and is trying to raise money to help her. Very admirable, but he loses major points in my book. 14 - Martin Q. Blank - Grosse Pointe Blank Don't be fooled by the boy-next-door looks, this guy is dangerous. The good news for bad guys is that Martin is trying to get out of the business and is having second thoughts about his choice for a career. He takes one more hit which also happens to be at his high school reunion. You thought your reunion was bad. Jason Bourne may not have much of a memory, but he clearly saw Grosse Pointe Blank and watched Martin kill a guy with a ballpoint pen and thought it might be a good skill to have. 15 - Michael Sullivan - Road to Perdition He's just a father who works for the mob to put food on the table. What could go wrong? Well, a lot. Sullivan soon hits the road with his young son by his side. One of the more unique father/son bonding experiences you will ever see. America's favorite average Joe actor has never looked more dangerous than Tom Hanks did in Road to Perdition. 16 - Angel Eyes - The Good, the Bad and the Ugly Has there ever been a more impressive and intimidating steely gaze than Lee Van Cleef as Angel Eyes in The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly? Angel Eyes will stop at nothing to catch Blonde and Tuco. Walking away with the money would have been a nice bonus. 17 - Wesley Gibson - Wanted An average kid becomes legendary hitman who can curve bullets. How can he not be on the list? The only thing that keeps him from being higher is that his movie character can't compare to the graphic novel. 18 - Killer Joe Cooper - Killer Joe Boy, Joe certainly is an interesting character. I will never look at a chicken leg the same way again. I can't put Joe very high on the list because we don't really get to see him in action a whole lot. At least not in terms of killing people. He does look cool in that cowboy hat though. 19 - Mr. Goodkat - Lucky Number Slevin A hitman with a cool name and endlessly quotable lines played by Bruce Willis. It's pretty much a given he'd be on this list. Favorite quote: "Charlie Chaplin once entered a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest in Monte Carlo and came in third; that's a story." Goodkat is kind of an enigma, but he's very entertaining. He often shows up just to reveal a little bit more information from a pretty twisty plot. 20 - Jackie Cogan - Killing Them Softly Jackie Cogan is a hitman for today's financial climate. Jackie proves that the current recession can have an impact on his profession. He can be very intelligent and puts a lot of work into his craft. He's a tad too talky for my liking though and that's why he finds himself lower on this list. 21 - El Mariachi - El Mariachi/Desperado El Mariachi is one of the more stylish hitmen around. He carries his machine gun in his guitar case and that just oozes coolness. Did I mention that he gets to have sex with Salma Hayek? 22 - Peter Clemenza - The Godfather "Leave the gun, take the canoli." With that line, Clemenza cemented himself as a legend of cinema. It's just a shame we didn't get to see more of this rotund rogue in action. Sure, he's not in the best shape compared to the other hitmen on this list, but he's just as deadly. Just make sure he's not in the backseat when you get into a car. 23 - Joe - Looper Joe's made a living killing people sent back into the past from the future. Not a bad gig considering he never has to see the face of the people he's killing. Until Joe realizes he's been contracted to kill his future self. You'd think that would make most people question their dedication to their job. Not Joe. 24 - Hanna - Hanna Has a tween girl ever kicked more ass than Hanna? Probably not. She's like a young, pretty female Jason Bourne. She's literally been conditioned to be a deadly killing machine since she was born. Until she realizes she wants to just be a normal kid. Can she turn off her deadly side and live a normal life? Let's hope not. 25 - Harlen Maguire - Road to Perdition Part-time hitman, part-time photographer that takes pictures of crime scenes. Whatever it takes to make ends meet I guess. You'd think with the money he's making Harlen can afford to brush his teeth or something. It was kind of refreshing to see the good looking Jude Law play such a slimy, vile character. 26 - Angelo Ledda - The Memory of a Killer Angelo is the oldest hitman on the list, but I respect my elders. Besides, he still gets the job done despite his age and failing memory. You have to respect anybody who can live to be that age in his line of work. No matter how good you are, I have to think the life expectancy isn't too great. 27 - Paul - Haywire In another movie, Paul might have become a legendary hitman. He looks slick and dresses cool and is kind of enigmatic, but he's with us for such a short time. Let's be honest, he also got his ass handed to him by Gina Carano. 28 - Chuck Barris - Confessions of a Dangerous Mind Is he a game show host, is he a CIA hitman or is he just plain crazy? We may never know, but Sam Rockwell plays the real life Chuck Barris with just the right amount of wackiness and sincerity to make the film work. 29 - Ray - In Bruges I love Ray, but the hitman game is just not for him. He seems like a nice guy with a big heart, I'm not quite sure how he got wrapped up in this, but it's not gonna work out. Ray's first hit goes horribly wrong and he finds himself in Bruges as punishment and as a way to lay low. For Ray, hell would be a better place to stay. Anything's better than F'n Bruges... 30 - Vincent Vega - Pulp Fiction I know what you're thinking, how can Vince be at 30 when Jules is all the way up there at 7? HE SHOT MARVIN IN THE FACE!! That's how. I'm sorry, that just can't happen. It's bush league. Then take into account that Vince died while taking a dump and I could make the case he shouldn't even be on the list at all. The only reason I showed mercy are those groovy dance moves.

#john wick #hitmen

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