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#he's SO good at convincing me his newest techniques are gonna work but I can NOT do deep breathing to calm down
satanfemme · 2 years
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going thru antipsychiatry posts rn don't mind me. the CBT/DBT anger management is continuing to be useless so I'm directing my anger in that direction rn instead of my boss who doesn't actually deserve it, thank u
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nurvuss · 3 years
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I Watched the First Episode of Every New Spring 2021 Anime Airing on Crunchyroll
Hey, are you like me, and feeling like you're not getting the most out of your Crunchyroll subscription? Sure, there's stuff on there that you know you like. But whenever I look at the big long list of simulcasting shows, my eyes glaze over and I don't even know where to begin.
I wanted to change my habits and see if there were any shining gems that I should be watching. So, as per the title, I watched the first episode of every new Spring 2021 anime on Crunchyroll. And guess what? There’s a lot of crap! But indeed, there’s some stuff that’s worth your time.
Some clarification: I've only watched shows that began their first season in April 2021.
Backflip!!
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The Lowdown
As Futaba Shotaro comes to the end of middle school, his interest in baseball has begun to wane. Soon he notices the Ao High Boys Gymnastic Club and becomes enthralled, especially after seeing them perform. Once he learns they're down two members, he chooses to sign up and pursue the art of gymnastics. The club is also joined by Misato Ryoya, a star solo gymnast looking to expand his technique through teamwork.
Our Thoughts
Pretty formulaic shoujo sports anime: you've got your himbo, your thug, your ladies' man, your stoic guy, with Shotaro rounding out the cast as the shy and awkward audience surrogate. It looks wholesome enough, and the choreographed routines employ CG in a way that's quite convincing without being hideous.
Who It's For
Fans of  FREE, or Yuri!!! on Ice, or any similar shows about cute boys who succeed at athletic feats. 
Borscht Rating
Burning Kabaddi
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The Lowdown
Legendary high school soccer star Yoigoshi Tatsuya has given up on sports! That is, until he's blackmailed to join the high school kabaddi team, under threat of his online persona being leaked to the entire school. Although Tatsuya initially writes kabaddi off as stupid, the unexpected happens as he begins to have fun.
Our Thoughts
Kabaddi is kinda like competitive tag, or dodgeball but with your body instead of a ball. Burning Kabaddi is basically the shounen alternative to Backflip!! above, replete with nosebleeds, pratfalls, and dudes punching each other. The main cast don't seem to like each other very much; that probably changes as the show goes on but at first blush it's a dynamic I always find annoying.
Who it's For
Fans of Haikyuu!!? Maybe?
Borscht Rating
CARDFIGHT!! VANGUARD overDress
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The Lowdown
The newest series based on Bushiroad's collectible card game, featuring character designs by the beloved collective CLAMP. Petit middle schooler Yu-Yu just doesn't know how to say no. As his older students dress him in drag to use as live makeup practice, he suffers a panic attack and flees into the streets. After being accosted by a pickup artist, he's befriended by Megumi, who invites him to witness a Cardfight match at the local abandoned amusement park. However, Yu-yu is too shy to tell Megumi he's actually a boy…
Our Thoughts
What an unexpectedly weird concept for a show about a card game. Our hero spends the whole episode in drag, whimpering and simpering at the sight of any conflict. Then they show off the latest series of cards, which all seem to be giant buff knights with names like "Bad Steve" and "Violent Bruce". Your guess is as good as mine.
Who it's For
Cardfight!! lovers, Japanese gender studies majors, or the most desperate fujoshi. 
Borscht Rating
Cestvs: The Roman Fighter
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The Lowdown
The year is 54AD, and Nero has taken the throne as the youngest emperor of Rome. At the bottom of the population, Cestvs is a young slave training to be a colosseum boxer. Reluctant, his only choice is to fight or die.
Our Thoughts
Seeing Nero depicted as a gentle little twink is pretty funny. It's also pretty funny that the central character is named after a Roman boxing glove. The animation style transitions to some very uncanny CG when a major fight takes place, and I didn't like that one bit! This seems like a pretty average tournament anime but with a historical setting. It's currently unknown if any of these dudes are fucking each other. I'm gonna say probably.
Who It's For
The venn-diagram of Greco-Roman history buffs and lovers of tournament series?
Borscht Rating
Don’t Toy with Me, Miss Nagatoro!
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The Lowdown:
Hachioji Naoto is a nerdy, introverted student who spends his time studying and avoiding socialising. When pages from the fantasy manga he's drawing fall out of his bookbag, they catch the attention of a younger student named Nagatoro Hayase. Nagatoro begins to tease Naoto for his otaku interests and awkward demeanour, peppered with some suggestive flirting.
Our Thoughts:
What would you do if a younger girl flirted with you? Would you cry? Piss your pants maybe? Maybe shit and cum? Don't Toy With Me… attempts to barely conceal its BDSM fantasy with its comedic elements, but it's incredibly apparent as Nagatoro always wipes away Naoto's tears as a sort of aftercare. It's like a lighter, comedic version of Aku no Hana, but lacking any of the ponderings or danger that made that work so special.
Who It's For: 
People who search Pornhub for "bratty sister femdom".
Borscht Rating:
86 Eighty-Six
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The Lowdown
The Republic of San Magnolia and the Giad Empire, have been at war for nearly a decade. Using advanced military technology, the frontlines are fought by giant mecha drones called Juggernauts, controlled remotely by Handlers. Major Vladilena Mirizé is one of the military's most talented Handlers in the 1st District, and one who is constantly teased by her peers for the humanity and empathy she shows her squadron. The government line is that drone warfare has kept casualties to zero, but unbeknownst to the public these "drones'' are piloted by 86ers—the lowest class of citizens, forced to live in military internment camps in San Magnolia's 86th District.
Our Thoughts
This is incredibly my kind of thing. We've got a dual narrative being set up here: Vladilena as the kind, reluctant officer of a fascist regime, and the Bad Company-esque antics of her new ragtag squad, Spearhead. The first episode is split pretty evenly between the two, with each story converging at the end as Vladilena "meets" Spearhead for the first time through her comms station. It's an explosive and enticing first episode, and I can't wait to watch more of it.
Who It's For
Fans of Fullmetal Alchemist, Psycho-Pass, Gundam, or any number of anti-imperialist war stories.
Borscht Rating
Fairy Ranmaru
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The Lowdown
In a quiet corner of the city sits Bar F, a modest drinking establishment staffed entirely by five hot young men. Unbeknownst to the general population, these men are a crack team of fairies sent to the human world to gather the latent energy of "attachment". They do this by solving the problems of young women, taking their hearts in the process.
Our Thoughts
Hubba hubba, a little something for the ladies! It's Weiẞ Kreuz with a bar instead of a flower shop, fairies instead of assassins, and some pretty revealing outfits. There's definitely a little Persona 5 inspiration here too, from the punctuating phrase "Take your Heart!" to many of the visual cues. Make of that what you will.
Who It's For
Fans of Weiẞ Kreuz, slash fic authors.
Borscht Rating
Farewell, My Dear Cramer
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The Lowdown
Onda Nozomi was once the star player of her middle school football team. Completely unmatched, she no longer plays as there's no opponent she deems to be on her level. Meanwhile Suou Sumire far outpaces her teammates, causing her frustration. By a twist of fate, these two girls find themselves joining the scrappy Warabi Seinan High School FC as they begin to learn the value of teamwork and friendship.
Our Thoughts
I don't know sports. And I really don't know football. I had to look up what the title meant, and now I barely know who Dettmar Cramer is. I'm really not the best person to judge this, but it seems like a pretty good female-driven sports anime. 
Who It's For
Fans of Ace o Nerae! or other sports manga/anime about those ever burning bonds between young teammates.
Borscht Rating
Gloomy, the Naughty Grizzly
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The Lowdown:
Pitty lives with his pet Gloomy, a massive pink bear. Can a boy and a bear truly get along?
Our Thoughts:
This is a series of minute-long gag episodes in which Gloomy mauls Pitty and blood squirts everywhere. It's definitely meant to be a morbid parody of Sanrio or San-X; it might be a Rilakkuma parody in particular? Gloomy is the kind of thing you might laugh at if it came on in between shows, but it's pretty slight to go through the trouble of putting on.
Who It's For:
Gag anime fans with one minute to spare.
Borscht Rating:
Higehiro: After Being Rejected, I Shaved and Took in a High School Runaway
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The Lowdown
After a night of drinking in Tokyo, slovenly salaryman Yoshida encounters a teenage runaway sitting under a lamppost. She offers to sleep with him in return for letting her spend the night in his apartment. Yoshida refuses her offer but allows her to stay. The next morning the girl, Sayu, reveals she's travelled all the way from Hokkaido, sleeping with random men in return for lodging and money. Feeling responsible for her safety, Yoshida agrees for Sayu to stay indefinitely in return for handling household chores.
Our Thoughts
This is kind of the inverse of Koikimo (see below), but without a scumbag character and from a male perspective. It's not nearly as nauseating as that show, but it's still a fantasy about living with a busty teenage girl.
Who It's For
Libertarians.
Borscht Rating
I've Been Killing Slimes For 300 Years And Maxed Out My Level
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The Lowdown: 
Office lady Aizawa Azusa dies of overwork in her early 20s, and finds herself standing before a lecherous goddess. Allowed a wish as compensation for her untimely demise, Azusa wishes for an endless life of leisure. The goddess reincarnates her as a 17-year-old immortal witch in an RPG-coded fantasy world. Thrilled, Azusa lazes about, brewing potions for her neighbouring villagers, and kills a small amount of slimes each day to supplement her income. After doing this every day for 300 years, she inadvertently finds herself at Level 99. Her peaceful life is soon upended as adventurers and dragons come from miles around to challenge the legendary witch.
Our Thoughts:
I'm not really an isekai fan, and that goes double for series which aren't set in an RPG, yet use RPG mechanics. Levelling up, grinding stats, min-maxing, as if it's a part of the fabric of the setting. I don't get it. I like watching numbers go up as much as the next dork, but I don't need to watch numbers go up in absolutely every piece of media I consume. Just play a fucking video game, Jesus Christ almighty.
I thought this might be setting up a fun series in which a layabout is reluctantly called upon to undertake a dangerous quest, but I don't think that's what's going on at all. When the red dragon Laika wrecks Azusa's house, she transforms into a cute young girl and the two begin living together, teaching each other the pros and cons of hard work and slothfulness respectively. The trajectory of the series might be as laid back as its protagonist in the end, which, ultimately, would be fitting.
Who It's For:
Isekai fans, slice-of-life fans. The twain have met!
Borscht Rating:
Joran: The Princess of Snow and Blood
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The Lowdown
In alternative history Japan the Meiji Period continued well into the 1930s, and the ongoing Tokugawa Shogunate has brought technological prosperity to the nation through a magical energy source called the Dragon's Vein. Sawa Yukimura runs a bookshop where she lives with her little sister by day, but by night she's an assassin for Nue, the shogunate's secret police. As the terrorist group Kuchinawa deploys transforming beasts in an attempt to topple the shogunate, Nue springs into action with their own abilities.
Our Thoughts
There are a lot of concepts competing here, and a few too many flashy transformation sequences for my taste, but I'm really into it! Nue are made up of sex workers and street musicians, often overlooked and therefore easily able to blend in. There's a supernatural Standalone Complex vibe to how the team operates, and they're almost assuredly on the wrong side. Worth a shot!
Who It's For
Fans of alternate history science fiction, Ghost in the Shell: Standalone Complex, Demon Slayer.
Borscht Rating
Koikimo: Koi to Yobu ni wa Kimochi Warui ("It's Disgusting to Call This Love")
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The Lowdown
Amakusa Ryo is a womanizing salaryman concerned with nothing but his own base desires. As he slips on the train station stairs one morning, he's saved by the swift action of Arima Ichika, a kind-hearted high schooler. When it turns out Ichika is friends with Ryo's younger sister Riou, he decides she's his soulmate, and begins to pursue her no matter how many times she refuses him. Comedy ensues!
Our Thoughts
Yeah, OK groomer.
Alright look, Korikimo is written by a woman and told from Ichika's perspective, so this is obviously meant to be a lighthearted "older man" shoujou romance. As an older man, all I saw were the adventures of a paedophile and the teenager he's stalking. Fuck off.
Who it's For
There's probably other stuff like this, right? If you like that, here you go.
Borscht Rating
Let's Make a Mug, Too
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The Lowdown
After the death of her mother, Himeno and her father relocate from bustling Tokyo to quiet Tajimi City in Gifu Prefecture. The former salaryman opens a quiet cafe using the remarkable mugs made by his late wife, while Himeno follows in her mother's footsteps and joins the school pottery club. Although her first project ends in disaster, Himeno makes fast friends with the eccentric pottery enthusiasts who make up the club.
Our Thoughts
It's no Eizouken, but I guess it's probably not meant to be. I'm not a big iyashikei genre fan, but if that's your thing, you might enjoy the wholesome non-adventures of three girls trying to make a mug. It's worth noting these episodes are only about 12 minutes long, with the remaining runtime segmented into live action episodes where the voice actresses tour Tajimi and unconvincingly pretend to be interested in Gifu's famous mino-yaki pottery. I think this must be a tie-in with a local tourist board. 
Who It's For
People who enjoy stuff like Aria, actually.
Borscht Rating
OddTaxi
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The Lowdown
In a Tokyo populated by anthropomorphic animals, a solemn walrus named Odokawa spends his nights driving his cab around the bustling metropolis, spending his free time drinking with his pals. Odokawa soon finds his quiet life disrupted by a caper involving a missing girl, some crooked cops, and the animal yakuza. 
Our Thoughts
A deft blend of working class slice-of-life with mystery, cute animals, and striking visual design. OddTaxi might be the sleeper hit of Spring 2021.
Who It's For
Fans of existentialist film noir with absurdist comedy, Polar Bear Cafe, walrus lovers.
Borscht Rating
Osamake: Romcom Where The Childhood Friend Won't Lose
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The Lowdown
Suehiro Maruo Sueharu Maru has his heart set on Shirokusa Kachi, the hottest girl in school. When she begins dating a young actor, Sueharu confides in his childhood friend Kuroha Shida, who's openly in love with him and he rejected in the past. Kuroha suggests the two get revenge on Shirokusa by pretending to be in love. Will Sueharu fall in love with Kuroha for real, making her dreams come true?
Our Thoughts
Give me a fucking break.
Who It's For
I don't know and I don't care.
Borscht Rating
SD Gundam World Heroes
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The Lowdown
The newest instalment of the SD Gundam media-mix franchise. In a world populated by super deform mecha, a burning meteor lands in the middle of Captain City. From it launches a terrible mechanized beast: Naughty Lion. When the police are powerless to stop it, a crack team led by Zhuge Liang Gundam and Liu Bei Gundam sorties to bring Naughty Lion to justice. When the beast stops rampaging, it transforms into Sun Wukong Gundam, a youthful amnesiac mecha horrified at the destruction he wrought. The Three Kingdoms Gundams welcome Sun Wukong into the fold to make sense of this mysterious event.
Our Thoughts
I'm an 80s kid, I know a 30-minute toy commercial when I see one.
No, seriously though, I'm aware of SD Gundam's merchandising—they're cute designs, and I even used to have a bunch of the gum rubber mini figurines. I've played the SD Great War Super Famicom games, they're fun! This is a vehicle to get kids hyped up about the latest toys, which are...based on  a hodgepodge of Journey to the West and Romance of the Three Kingdoms this year? There's even a little SD Guan Yu Gundam with a big long beard!
I kinda wanted to like the idea of a bearded robot, but the mechas are super busy and overdesigned. I guess there's only so much you can do to make your next series of toys bigger and better, so these guys are all decked out in gold accents, capes, horns, and antlers, and half the time I couldn't parse what I was seeing.
I'm so glad I don't have to watch any more of this. 
Who It's For
Very, *very* young mecha fans.
Borscht Rating
Seven Knights Revolution: Hero Successor
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The Lowdown
Long ago, the Dark God Nestra ruled the world through fear. Standing against him were the Seven Knights, seven brave warriors chosen by the Light Goddess Serrass. With their powers combined, Nestra was defeated and the lands returned to peace. Hundreds of years later the wicked Physis Cult seeks to revive Nestra, summoning undead beasts to ravage the countryside. With the Seven Knights long dead, the Granseed Academy has risen to train the next wave of heroes to combat this threat. Using special cards, the students of Granseed are able to call upon the power of the Seven Knights to guide them in battle.
Our Thoughts
As soon as the opening started with its transforming heroes and lovingly depicted weapon cards, I realised this must be based on a mobile game. Indeed, this is based on a free-to-play gacha from Korean developer Netmarble. Even before I was able to confirm this, Hero Successor failed to draw me in, eschewing details on the nature of its world in lieu of a glamourised marketing push for its source material. What's here is incredibly slight, and likely to be of little interest to anyone who isn't deep into this game.
Who It's For
Seven Knights whales, I guess.
Borscht Rating
Those Snow White Notes
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The Lowdown
Sawamura Setsu mourns the death of his grandfather Matsugorou, a talented shamisen player who refused to pass his secrets on. Not knowing what else to do, he leaves his remote village for Tokyo, taking nothing but his shamisen along with him. Soon he finds himself wrapped up in the complicated life of aspiring actress Yuna and her scuzzy rockstar boyfriend Taketo. When Setsu opens for Taketo's band, he stuns the audience with the raw emotion of his playing. However, his heart is still tumultuous. 
Our Thoughts
An entertaining first episode of a speciality music series, which is the kind of thing I have a place in my heart for. I couldn't shake the feeling of some latent misogyny that suggested the role of a woman is to inspire a tortured artist, but I might be wrong. The final few minutes take a twist by introducing Setsu's weird, horny mother who seems to have her own personal SWAT team, and it looks like the series becomes a more conventional high school anime from episode 2 onwards. Don't know about that!
Who It's For
Fans of Kids on the Slope, Sound of the Sky.
Borscht Rating
Tokyo Revengers
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The Lowdown
Former delinquent Takemichi is unsatisfied with the way his life turned out, living alone in a paper-thin apartment and working a minimum wage job under a boss who doesn't respect him. When watching the news one evening, he learns that his highschool sweetheart Hinata was killed, alongside her little brother. On the way to work the next morning, Takemichi falls in front of an oncoming train and wakes up 12 years in the past. Armed with foreknowledge, he attempts to turn his life around and save his onetime lover.
Our Thoughts
This is drawing from a lot of sources; the whole train sequence is lifted straight from Gantz, while the story itself initially seems like a Life on Mars kind of deal. In fact, Tokyo Revengers sees Takemichi jump back and forth between the present and the past, seemingly making small changes until he achieves his desired outcome. It feels like a very video gamey depiction of time travel, and one that's not super interesting.
Who It's For
Steins;Gate fans, maybe? Delinquent manga (Shonan Junai Gumi, Crows, etc.) fans, maybe? It's pretty self-serious compared to any of those.
Borscht Rating
To Your Eternity
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The Lowdown
An immortal being in the form of an orb falls to earth and becomes a stone. Years pass, an ice age sets in, and a white wolf stumbles onto the tundra and dies. The orb, able to take the form of anything that leaves a strong impression on it, transforms into the wolf and slowly learns how to use its newfound ambulatory body. The creature treks back through the tundra where it meets a boy living alone, after the rest of his village left in search of a better life. The boy recognises the wolf as his beloved pet, Johann, and the two begin living together in the harsh, lonely wastes.
Our Thoughts
I'm being a little coy with the synopsis here, and there's a major shake-up at the end of this debut episode. This one's based on a manga by the critically acclaimed Yoshitoki Ooima (A Silent Voice), and it's a depressing, compelling, and exciting start to a series. Lots of potential here!
Who It's For
Fans of NieR, Fragile Dreams: Farewell Ruins of the Moon, Last Exile, Kino's Journey.
Borscht Rating
So, there you have it. I'm hoping this will be of use to anyone who experiences a similar sense of dread when faced with so many choices. Maybe we’ll do this again during the Summer 2021 anime season.
Also, please don't get mad at me if I'm snarky about your new favourite show! It’s just TV and I'm a big idiot anyway.
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fmdjoomi · 3 years
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introducing mimi., the leader, main vocal and rapper of calypso...
what’s up guys? it’s yaz back at it again with another muse. this time around, i have joomi here. i had a muse of the same name before, but this joomi has a completely different background and all that jazz. i hope you guys like her and if you’re interesting in plotting, let me know by liking this post and i’ll message you. 
joomi’s history + personality:
for starters, joomi’s mother, seoyoung, was the absolute worst. she was a beautiful woman that used her looks and charms to practically con men out of their money. she left a trail of broken hearts behind her throughout her late teens up until her mid twenties until she met joomi’s father, jinho. 
jinho fell head over heels in love with the image of seoyoung, completely fooled by her charm and charisma. within a year of meeting one another, he asked her to marry him. she agreed, despite not really loving him back. she was just interested in what he could do for her financially. 
a few months after their marriage, she found out that she was pregnant with joomi. she was less than thrilled to say the least. she wasn’t even thirty yet and she was going to ruin her figure for some snotty nosed brat? hel no. unfortunately (in her eyes) she had to go through with the pregnancy. on february 14th of 1990, she gave birth to a baby girl - joomi. 
seoyoung couldn’t stand joomi, but jinho considered joomi to be the apple of his eye. he adored her and drowned her in attention, gifts and everything she could ever need or want. of course this didn’t make seoyoung happy. she was used to having all of jinho’s attention and she didn’t want anyone else having it - not even her own child. 
the arguments between her parents (mainly on seoyoung’s side, jinho was too much of a gentle, kind man to ever raise his voice, even when he was angry) and joomi was a witness to almost all of those arguments. it gave her a pretty warped view of her mother honestly. it wasn’t like they were particularly close to begin with, but seeing her mother verbally and sometimes physically attack her father left a bad taste in her mouth. 
by the time joomi was four years old, seoyoung had filed for divorce and was going to take her with her, but jinho refused to let her have joomi. it was the only time he actually raised his voice at seoyoung, which was enough to make her see that she wasn’t going to win that battle. so she signed away her parental rights, took her divorce settlement and left. 
not even two years later, jinho’s father had moved on with joomi’s nanny, which she didn’t mind at all. she saw her nanny more like a mother than her actual mother anyway. and not too long after that, her new stepmother and her father welcomed a baby into the world - joomi’s younger half sibling (gonna send in a wanted connection for that *wink wink nudge nudge*) 
her stepmother was the one who introduced joomi to singing. she used to sing and dance with her when she was really little, and as she got older, her stepmother could see the potential in her. she was the one who convinced her father to sign her up for singing lessons. to this day, joomi is extremely grateful towards her stepmother for being her introduction to music. 
when she was fifteen years old, she began auditioning for different labels and companies. she was accepted into bc entertainment and dimensions - she ended up going with the latter, a decision she kind of regrets. if she went with bc, she would’ve found more success because she most likely would’ve debuted with lily, but she loves her girls too much to ever truly regret her decision. 
there were times where she felt like throwing in the towel and giving up, but joomi was quite the stubborn one. even though she had to balance her school life with training, she never allowed her exhaustion or frustration to get the best of her. 
it didn’t help that her life outside of training had gone through ups and downs as well. she was fifteen years old when she developed her first real crush on someone - a cute boy at school. she was completely unaware of the fact that he was a total fuckboy. she ended up losing her virginity to him, something that he spread around school, leading people to think of her as “easy”. 
as a teen she was still softhearted and forgiving. she was a hopeless romantic that would melt whenever a guy told her that they liked her, just long enough for them to talk her into sleeping with them before they dropped her. she wanted someone who would treat her like how her father treated her stepmother. and they would treat her really well, until they got what they wanted from her.
this happened two or three more times before joomi finally realized what was going on and she became emotionally closed off. from that moment on, she swore that she would never let anyone in to hurt her like that again.
she finally debuted in dimensions’ newest girl group at the time, calypso, as the leader, main vocalist and rapper. the weight of being the leader of a group of girls weighed heavily on her shoulders, and when they lost members not even a year into their career, she couldn’t help but feel like an embarrassment in the eyes of the public. 
the feeling of embarrassment only grew tenfold when they lost yet another member two years after they debuted. she knew that there was nothing she could have done, but at the same time she also felt as though it would reflect badly on her. what kind of leader couldn’t keep their group together? 
it was frustrating, to say the absolute least, to never have their hard work pay off. from the moment they debuted, joomi made sure that she pushed her members to be the best that they could possibly be. but it seemed as though they couldn’t catch a break no matter what. no matter how much joomi forced them to practice, how much she forced them to sing songs over and over again until they got it right, they still couldn’t seem to make their songs stick with the general public. 
calypso wasn’t pulling in the kind of money that dimensions wanted them to, which meant that joomi and the girls were slower when it came to paying off trainee debt, and didn’t get much when it came to allowances.
not wanting to live off of her father’s money, despite him practically begging her to take it, she decided to find other ways to make money for herself and calypso. she had seen other idols make the journey into acting, and she had heard that it could become a lucrative career. 
in the beginning, acting was just a way to make extra money for her. she wasn’t amazing at it, but she was good enough to land a supporting role here and there, which made her realize that she rather enjoyed acting. it was a nice change from singing and dancing, and while singing would always be her first love and the most important thing in her life, acting was something else that she wanted to continue pursuing. she also knows that it’s a very good career to transition into once she lays her idol days to rest. 
personality wise, joomi’s learned how to be more or less aloof. she doesn’t let people in easily because she doesn’t want to run the risk of being hurt yet again. she can, begrudgingly, understand why her mother behaved the way she did. getting hurt by someone was way too big of a risk. in the words of yuna: i’d rather be selfish, hundred times better than pretending to be nice and getting hurt.
however, she’s very loyal and so protective of and attentive to her group members. calypso’s fans call her “mama mimi” because of the motherly role she plays in the group. 
honestly, she loves calypso’s sexier concept. she thrives with those concepts, and she likes feeling sexy. it’s v empowering for her. she doesn’t like it because it gets her attention, she likes it because of how it personally makes her feel. 
mimi’s image
as not only the leader of calypso but the eldest member as well, joomi is often seen as the “mom” of the group. she’s often seen taking care of her members - feeding them, covering them with blankets when given clothing on the shorter side and coming to their defense whenever they need her. it’s a role that she had fallen into rather easily, especially given her age and seniority. their fans have taken to calling her “mama mimi” as a joke because of this, but it’s something she takes in stride and even encourages from time to time by playfully introducing herself as “mama mimi” whenever calypso has to introduce themselves.
on the flip side of that, being someone who connects more with their sexier concepts, it’s no surprise that joomi is one of the sexier members in the group. where she lacks in dancing technique, she makes up for in stage presence and sex appeal, some people even going as far as to say that she “does too much” on stage or even that she “makes them uncomfortable” by how much she gives her all in sexy concepts. however, seeing as how their main fanbase, which consists of men, don’t seem to mind her onstage persona, dimensions does little to nothing to try to change her image, as it’s worked for her for the time being.
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franeridart · 4 years
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Anon said: How are you just like "Oh these are just some warm up sketches" and post a full finished piece, while I'm over here sketching a triangle person and calling it a finished piece.
I dunno if this was a legit question asking for a legit answer, but I do happen to have a legit answer so I might as well give it! If I wanted to go into detals with it it’d take me forever though, so allow me to separate it into two points to make it easier
I learnt how to be very fast in putting down my lines and trained myself into not overthinking every single dot I put down. This took about five or six years of drawing daily and a whole life of drawing occasionally before then, because to do so you need to reach a point where you’re drawing something you’ve drawn so many times that by now your hand sort of goes without you needing to think about it much, so it’s not a fast process, but boy is it worth it. Mostly learning how to not overthink it, overthinking it used to be 90% of my time spent on a drawing and dear god did it suck the joy out of everything I drew
I have two very distinctive ways of approaching a drawing, one where I actually put effort in it and the other where I just want to let the squiggles out of my pen, and warm ups are the second one - the lack of effort I’m putting in can have different forms and show in different ways, so a warm up could be a fully colored piece as it could be just a pencil doodle, depending on where and on what exactly I’m being lazy: it could be the type of tool I’m using that allows me to draw without having to line, it could be a very tiny canvas that lets me avoid a ton of details a big canvas would demand. I might be cutting the time I usually put in making sure my anatomy is correct, I might be using a shading technique that takes a tenth of the time my usual one would, I might be using a style that’s just easier and faster to draw, or drawing characters I’ve drawn a trillion times in extremely generic poses and clothes. There’s a lot of things that I can do to make things faster for me! It’s skills you gain as you draw a lot - you learn how to draw things the hard way, and then you realize that along the way you learnt how to do them the easy way too
hope this actually answers your question! If it was a question at all lol if it wasn’t then sorry for rambling, please pretend I didn’t say anything hahaha
Anon said: I love your newest comic!!! So adorable!! I noticed Bakugou's mom does the affectionate hair rustle thing to him in the manga/anime, do you think Bakugou subconsciously does the same to show affection cause of it? I love the way you draw faces and poses, it's so expressive!!
Ahhhhh thank you so much!!! And yeah, it might be! After all we do take a lot from the people we live with even without realizing, and he’s already so similar to his mom!
Anon said: I saw your bakushima comic from October 9th (2019) where Bakugo falls asleep studying and Kirishima sets him down on the table properly and it was so soft my heart is crying
;;;;; !!!!!!!! I’m glad you liked it!! <3<3
Anon said: If it not to much, could I possibly get a Ochamina doodle pls? I just love some sweet lesbeans 👉👈
Awww I’m not taking requests right now, but I’ll keep it in mind for next time I want to doodle and don’t know what!
Anon said: I love your art! I envy you.
Please don’t! There’s a lot of reasons why being me isn’t a lot of fun - if it’s just my skill you envy, then all you gotta do is draw a lot! 
Anon said: i just went through your entire kiribaku tag and omg it was beautiful seeing the progression in your art skills but still keeping the same funny/cute/heartwarming/etc traits you thought up for their dynamic!! i hope that makes sense haha !! love your art keep it up
It does make sense!!! Thank you so much both for looking through the whole tag and for thinking so, it means a lot to me!! ;;; <3<3
Anon said: Hey fran! I hope you're doing well(especially with quarantine and all)!! I really love your anatomy and how fluid and stylistic it can be! It's super fun to look at! I wanted to ask you if you ever did any in depth studies on anatomy? Like muscles and bones. I've heard a lot of artists mention the necessity of studying bones/muscles, i'd really like to know your opinion on the subject
Ahhh god thank you so much!! And... hmm let’s see if I can word this properly and have it make sense - always keeping in mind that this is just my opinion, of course!
If all you want to do is to draw, then all you need to do is to pick up your pencil and draw - it’s really that easy as far as I’m concerned. You don’t need to know anatomy in depth to just draw, everyone has seen a person, everyone knows how a person looks. That is, if all you want to do is to draw for the sake of drawing. If you want to draw an anatomically correct looking human being, though, you do need to know how anatomy works - and the deeper you’ll go into studying it the more correct your people will look. It’s kind how everyone can draw a bicycle, but if you want to draw a realistic bicycle you’re gonna need to look up references for it, you know? It’s all on the level at which you’re interested in drawing, the more technically skilled you want to be the more you’ll have to study
As for my personal experience with this, I hate studying with a passion. Studying puts a damper on my enjoyement of everything, and drawing isn’t excluded from this - you put a book in front of me expecting me to study it and suddenly I never want to pick up a pencil again. This means that I never sat down and studied anatomy in depth and all in one go just to learn how to draw a human being, but it doesn’t mean that I didn’t, slowly and now and again and in bits and pieces, study parts of the body to get a better understanding of it. I know better about the skeleton than I do about muscles, and I still have enough to learn about everything that anyone who’s studied anatomy properly would find a trillion mistakes in everything I draw, but my way of going about drawing has always been and always will be putting my enjoyement of it first and foremost, so I’m not interested in putting myself through a tour-de-force to learn everything there is to know about anatomy just to make my doodles look appealing to someone with a medical degree haha I’m just doing me, and when the mood is right I look up how to properly draw something, but until then I just do it as best as I can with my limited knowledge, being fully aware that what I’m producing is far from accurate but being willing to make that compromise for my own comfort
So that’s my opinion on it lol it all boils down to how important it is for you to know how to properly draw the human body - of course it’s gonna look more professional and better if you’ve studied it, but everyone has their own priorities, you know?
Anon said: Thank you for your hard work, seeing an upload from you is so nice, and the colors are so pretty
Thank you so muuuuccchhhhh!!!! TTATT <3<3<3
Anon said: Opinions on Tokoyami Fumikage 💕
One of my top faves in the whole manga, actually! I have a drawing in the making of him, I should get back to it..........
Anon said: HOLY SHIT FRAN THE TOES HOW YOU DRAW THE TOES SO WELL FEET ARE THE DEATH OF ME AND YOU’RE OVER HERE DRAWING TOES THEY’RE SO GOOD PLEASE TEACH ME YOUR WAYS!!! -❤️
Thank you!!!!!!!! So pretty much my way of learning this specific skill was being obsessed with elves when I was fifteen and wanting to draw them all the time  and also for whatever reason being convinced that they were not supposed to wear shoes so I just drew a lot of feet with references and tutorials and stuff till I could draw my elves properly. Which isn’t necessarily what you need to do to learn how to draw feet, but, I mean, it worked for me lol
Anon said: I love ur Bnha ships and all but what would u do if some of them didn’t become canon??
Oh, I actually don’t care about that at all? I don’t expect most of them to become canon anyway - like, ochadeku sounds reasonable and kamijirou seems to be getting there, but everything else I never even considered it as an actual possibilily. I don’t really ship because I want to see my ships become canon, I just like the potential in what I can make with them? If that makes sense? They’re just fun to think about and I like making fancontent, that’s all there is to it really haha honestly if I had my way no ship would ever be canon ever ha ha ha
Anon said: Slep is for the wek
No actually sleep is for Frans who want a chance at getting up tomorrow morning without an headache for once, so I should do that and go to sleep already lmao
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santiagoswagger · 4 years
Text
back when i was livin' for the hope of it all
When a case takes them to Coney Island early in their partnership, Jake manages to convince Amy to let her hair down a little.
My fic for the @b99fandomevents Summer 2020 Fic Exchange for @sentientencyclopedia! The request was a fic involving Jake and Amy at the boardwalk and I immediately thought of Coney Island! I hope you love it.
She steps out of the car and immediately moves to shield her eyes from the glaring sun.
“Ugh,” she winces. “I can’t believe this is where our witness works.”
Jake shuts his car door and gasps in mock outrage. “Santiago, this is the best day of my life! I finally get to work a case at Coney Island and you will not ruin this for me.”
Amy rolls her eyes in return. “Peralta, we’re here to interview a robbery witness, not ride roller coasters.”
Jake smirks. “We’ll see about that, Detective.”
The bickering doesn’t stop on their way to interview their witness, but that’s nothing new for Detectives Santiago and Peralta. In Amy’s first few months at the Nine-Nine, Jake’s proven to be a pretty sharp thorn in her side. He finds every opportunity to undercut her or tease her for being such a stickler with rules. It’s always in the form of a joke but Amy can tell there’s an edge to his humor. It’s hard being the newest detective, and he doesn’t make it any easier on her. Not that she would ever let him know just how much it gets to her sometimes - she would never give him the satisfaction.
The witness - a ride attendant at the wonder wheel - proves to be extremely helpful for their case and Jake and Amy finish the interview in less than 15 minutes.
As they start to head back to the car and the fluorescent lights of the precinct, Amy adjusts her sunglasses and says, “Well, I guess I can check Coney Island off of my New York City bucket list now.”
Jake whips his head around to stare wide-eyed at her, his curly hair swept to the side by the beachside breeze. “Are you kidding me? You’ve never been to Coney Island before?”
Amy shakes her head. “No way. Too many tourists. Plus, I grew up in New Jersey and we went to the shore every summer. I figured I’d seen enough boardwalks to last a lifetime.”
Jake steps in front of her, blocking her path. “Oh, Santiago. There’s no boardwalk like the Coney Island boardwalk. Gina and I used to hang out here with our friends like every day in the summer growing up. It’s one of the coolest places in Brooklyn.”
Amy frowns. “I think the hipsters in Bushwick might have something to say about that.”
Jake waves his hand in the air. “They suck, who cares? What matters is that I’m about to show you what Coney Island in the summer is all about.”
“Jake!” Amy scolds. “We told the captain we’d be back as soon as we spoke with the witness so we could get started on paperwork. This case should be our first priority.”
“It is!” Jake says, grinning. “We’re just taking a little detour. I want to see Fun Santiago and then we can go back to the precinct.”
“I’m plenty fun,” Amy says defiantly. “I bought a neon-colored pack of post-its the other day.”
“I’m going to pretend I didn’t just hear that,” Jake says, already walking towards the ticket counter.
Amy stands there for a second, unsure. Her professionalism usually wins out in situations like this, but there’s something about the salty sea air and the sounds of laughter that are pulling her in. Jake’s enthusiasm is infectious, as much as she hates to admit it. Plus, McGintley was perhaps the worst captain in the NYPD, so impressing him wasn’t high on her list at this new job. She follows Jake, albeit a bit reluctantly.
An hour later, Amy’s laughing harder than she’s laughed in weeks and small tendrils of hair have come loose from her usually perfect ponytail. They’ve been on all the big rides at least once and have moved on to the games - her specialty.
Jake groans in frustration as his plastic ring misses the bottle for the fifth time in a row. He throws his hands up in the air. “I give up,” he declares. “This game is impossible. It’s probably rigged.”
Amy snorts. “It’s not rigged, you idiot. Your technique just sucks.”
She takes his last ring from him and he surprisingly lets her. She looks up at him and he has a single eyebrow raised, a faint twinkle in his eye. “Oh, really? And you’re gonna show me the right way to do it?
“Damn right I am,” she says. “It’s all in the wrist, Peralta. And don’t even think about saying it.”
He stifles a laugh as he swallows down a sextape joke.
Amy doesn’t give herself the time to relish in his defeat. She concentrates on her target, flicks her wrist and lets the ring go. It lands exactly where she wanted it to, on a glass bottle in the front row.
“Woah,” Jake says, sounding genuinely awed. “I take back every mean thing I’ve ever said about you, Santiago. You’re a carnival game genius.”
“Did you just call me a genius?” she asks, touched. This is the most headway she’s gotten with Jake since her first day.
“Don’t get used to it,” he smirks.
She picks out her prize - a small stuffed tiger - and turns to look at her partner. “We should probably head back. I bet McGintley is furious we’ve been gone this long in the middle of a shift.”
Jake stares back skeptically. “You’re kidding, right? I caught him watching cartoons in his office last week. Besides, we finished the interview way early and it’s against the law to leave Coney Island without going to the beach.”
Amy rolls her eyes but checks her watch to do a quick calculation. “Fine,” she says hesitantly. “But only for 10 minutes and then we head straight back to the precinct.”
“Deal,” Jake says, holding out his hand to shake hers. She moves to shake it but he takes it away quickly. “Too late, let’s go!”
They get ice cream cones and head to the beach, Amy in her heeled work boots and pantsuit, Jake in his hoodie and sneakers. They navigate the crowds and eat their ice cream in silence.
“So, why don’t you like boardwalks or amusement parks?” Jake asks. “Please tell me there’s a traumatic childhood story.”
She sighs. “My older brother David got a job at the Seaside Heights boardwalk the summer before his junior year of high school. He was just operating the carousel but my parents went on and on about his ‘entrepreneurial spirit.’”
She looks at Jake, who’s surprisingly not laughing. He’s listening intently, eyes focused on her. “He and I don’t really get along,” she explains.
He nods. “He sounds like an asshat.”
Amy laughs. “He kind of is.”
The silence returns, but this one is a little more comfortable. Amy actually feels like she’s hanging out with a friend instead of her workplace nemesis.
“My dad took me to Coney Island once when I was a kid,” Jake offers. Amy turns to look at him but he’s staring at the ocean instead.
“Is that why you love it so much?” she asks.
He shrugs. “Maybe. He wasn’t the greatest dad in the world, but that was a good day.”
She nods, smiling slightly. “It’s not all bad.”
He smiles back. “Yeah, I think so too.”
As they head back to the car, the sand crunching beneath their feet with every step, Amy thinks that Coney Island isn’t the only thing that’s surprised her today.
Read it on ao3! 
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Text
TATMILB, CHAPTER 3
Penelope spent her life writing love letters, which didn’t seem like a terrible idea until the letters were mailed out and Schneider received one of them. Hoping to fool their exes, they agree to fake a relationship. But are they lying to everyone around them, or to themselves? aka my To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before-inspired AU.
Penelope x Schneider, ODAAT. available on ao3 with extra author’s notes.
Chapter 3: Penelope tries to bond with Alex during movie night; he and Lydia bring the family’s donations to Goodwill. Schneider returns from vacation and confronts Penelope. She panics.
While Schneider was away with Nikki over the weekend, Penelope splurged on a trip to the movies--luring Alex with the promise of food he didn’t have to sneak in.
She was trying to focus on silver linings instead of her anxieties about Elena, and the upsides included her new availability for Alex. Twice as much parent to go around could only lead to more bonding, right?
He had lobbied for an R-rated comedy, which she was definitely not willing to pay for. On her own, she would’ve headed right for the newest Bradley Cooper drama, but no amount of chocolate could convince Alex to sit through that.
So they compromised on an action movie--which would have the added benefit of covering up the sound of her soda later. Agreeing to buy concessions for Alex didn’t make her a different person. Her discount snacks were better than their overpriced junk, anyway.
He grinned at her over his bucket of popcorn while they waited for the lights to go down, and she considered her bribery a success. See, she could be the cool mom. Even if she had Raisinets in her cargo pants.
“Hey, Mom?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you still miss Max?”
Where did that come from? The question hurt, mostly because it was so unexpected. With Max exiting her life right before Lydia’s stroke, neither Alex or Elena had mentioned him much in the last year. They’d all had other things on their minds.
She let the pain pass by before she answered.
“Yes, Papito, I still do. It’s hard to let go of people you love. Sometimes, a part of you misses them even after you’ve moved on.”
He nodded, sipping his soda.
“Do you think you’ll start dating again anytime soon?”
That question was even more out of character for her son, whose world had been so often self-centered since he first came into it.
Penelope narrowed her eyes at him. “Why are you suddenly so interested in my dating life?”
“I was just wondering.”
”Well, I’m having fun the way things are. You and me, catching a movie on a Friday night, mother and son time with Elena away. Why would I want to date when I could be doing this?”
She grabbed a handful of popcorn and caught the way he cringed. Or flinched. Whatever it was, there was guilt there. Her mom radar went up.
“Alex, what is it? Is something going on?”
“It’s nothing!” He assured her in a rush. “It’s just...I kind of--did have a date.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah. You wanted to go out together, so I rain checked it with Chloe for next weekend. But I mean, let’s be real, Mom. This can’t last forever. I’ll go off to college too, or modeling school, whatever, and then who will you hang out with?”
The trailers started playing, just in time, letting her wallow until the movie started.
Penelope couldn’t keep the sadness off her face as she watched Alex settle in with his snacks. He was growing up so fast on her. Too fast. And Elena was practically out of the house already.
She didn’t want to date just to avoid being alone, but hearing that concern from her teenage son? Ouch. So much for being the cool mom.
Now Penelope was glad that they’d picked an action flick. She was ready to watch some stuff blow up.
****
Alex emerged from his room the next morning waving his phone at her.
“Mom, that was the third text I’ve gotten from Elena since she left reminding us to take that stuff to Goodwill.”
“Good morning to you, too,” Penelope replied. 
She was almost out the door, but her son had the luxury of sleeping in on Saturdays until baseball season started. He was taking full advantage of it.
“Seriously, she woke me up--and I need my beauty rest. She’s not gonna stop bugging me until you drop it off.”
“Alex...” Penelope shrugged into her coat, kissing her Mami on the cheek in thanks for the quick cafecito she had substituted for breakfast. “It’s all boxed up, we finished it before she left; it’ll get there.”
“I’m just saying, she’s gonna start texting you next, and I don’t think you’ll enjoy the lectures any more than I do.”
“Well, I’ve got plans with Jill today--and I’m about to be late. Mami?” She raised hopeful eyebrows in Lydia’s direction.
“Hmm?”
“Can you go with Alex to the Goodwill donation dropoff? I won’t be back until dinner.”
“Si, Lupita. Go have fun with your friend, we will handle it.” 
“Great. Thanks. The things I’m getting rid of are in my room, next to the closet.”
“You know, this would be much easier if Schneider had not taken his girlfriend on a vacation.” Lydia frowned. “He could carry much bigger boxes than myself or Papito.”
“Hey, I can lift heavy stuff,” Alex protested. 
“Yes, but you should not have to! You should save your strength for wooing your future wife.” Lydia patted his face.
“Luckily for us--and Alex’s future wife--none of the boxes are all that heavy,” Penelope said. “And there aren’t too many of them. Now, I really have to go. I’ll see you both tonight.”
****
Absorbed in work and school, Penelope didn’t give their Goodwill donations another thought until Tuesday, on her way out of the hospital. The two boxes she’d packed in her room were gone, concluding that chore.
Or so she thought.
Penelope was  digging in her purse for her keys when she saw Schneider striding her way. “Oh, hey! I thought you were gonna be off the grid with Nikki for another couple of days.”
“No, that trip is kind of...over. That whole thing is kind of over.” 
“Again?”
Hurt crossed Schneider’s face before he buried it. He was really good at that, she’d learned--mostly from moments when she was the one hurting him. Way to go, Penelope. 
“I mean, I’m sorry. Are you okay?”
“Eh, I will be. Eventually. It’s not like we were engaged, right?”
Schneider shook his head. “That’s not why I’m here, though. Nikki may have dumped me for one of the jock dads at St. Bibiana’s, but that doesn’t mean I think you and I should blur the lines on the rebound.”
She stared at the creased blue paper he held up as he continued.
“Not that I’m not flattered, obviously. You’re the most badass woman I know, an amazing mom, anybody would be lucky to--”
Penelope’s field of vision narrowed to the letter in his hand, a letter that she definitely recognized. She didn’t hear the rest of his sentence. She could only hear her heart pounding in her ears, making her wonder if she was about to pass out there, next to her car.
How did Schneider get that? What was happening right now?
“I found it slipped under my door when I got home. And honestly, Pen, if you needed to tell me this stuff, you could have just done it in person--we’ve had enough late night chats that nothing’s really off limits at this point.”
She took a deep breath, trying to focus on a technique that worked for her during panic attacks and after nightmares. Since the moment felt like an actual waking nightmare, slowly counting backwards didn’t help much. He was still there. Waiting.
“Schneider, that letter--it’s not what it looks like, I swear. I don’t want to date you. At all. I wrote it because...”
She was still trying to find the words to explain something much too complicated for a parking lot when she saw motion past Schneider’s left shoulder.
Max was exiting the hospital and heading straight for them, holding a bright white envelope in one hand.
It didn’t take a genius to know what he was coming over to say.
Which was good, because Penelope’s mind was not exactly in top condition. It was already a five-alarm fire up in there, and every part of her was screaming I cannot deal with this.
In the fraction of a second she had to consider her options, Penelope acknowledged that the mature response would be to face it now--to explain the situation to her ex-boyfriend and her best friend at the same time.
Or, she decided, as she felt both men’s eyes on her and her palms started to sweat...she could do literally anything else.
Going with her first impulse, Penelope reached up and grabbed Schneider’s shirt with both hands, pulling him toward her. Before Max could get one step closer, she kissed Schneider like her life depended on it.
She couldn’t have explained to anybody why kissing Schneider seemed like a better idea than letting Max think she was still pining over him. Right then, she just needed Max to stay back. To leave them alone. 
Did it work? She wondered. She couldn’t check without breaking off the kiss, but the silence seemed promising.
Of course, the quiet only emphasized the situation she was now in. She was kissing Schneider. She was in a hospital parking lot, a few yards away from her ex-boyfriend, kissing Schneider. 
Pressed against her, Schneider didn’t react. Not after the initial moment, or several more. He let her kiss him, but he didn’t kiss back. And that was fine, Penelope told herself. That was better.
“Thank you,” she said when she let Schneider go. He stood there, flushed and baffled, looking at her like he had never seen her before. 
Though confusion was written all over his face, Schneider nodded. “You’re...welcome?”
Penelope wasn’t willing to push her luck any further. She couldn’t avoid the embarrassment forever, but at least she had managed to postpone it until she got home. She needed time to figure this out.
Without another word, and without glancing back to where Max was probably still holding his own letter, she got into her car and drove home.
****
Her reprieve was brief, not that she’d expected any different. She caught the aroma of dinner as soon as she walked through the door, and barely had time to praise her Mami’s cooking before Schneider arrived.
“Oh, good, Schneider, you are home from your vacación,” Lydia said. “I made enough for you to join us, just in case.”
“Hey,” Alex added from his spot at the table. “You’re back early, right?”
“Yeah, Nikki and I broke up.”
Schneider offered that explanation to Alex, but he was looking at Penelope. She shook her head in response, hoping the tiny movement would go unnoticed by the others. Hoping that Schneider would understand. Not now. Not in front of the family. Please.
His shoulders tensed where he stood, like her silent plea was a blow he had to absorb. But when he finally looked away from her, smiling at Lydia and taking his seat, Penelope knew he would let it go for now. “So you can see why I needed a nice, comforting family dinner this evening.”
“Oh, pobrecito Schneider,” Lydia said, patting his back before she sat down across from him. “You can do better.”
They were waiting for her to settle into her place at the table, but Penelope couldn’t join them until she knew for sure. She headed for her bedroom, straight to the spot where her army duffel would be. 
Or where it used to be.
“Mami?” She returned to the table and sat, trying to sound calm. “What happened to my duffel bag?”
“I don’t know,” Lydia said, pouring herself some rum as though her daughter’s world wasn’t spinning out of control in front of her. “Where did you see it last?”
“I keep it in my closet,” Penelope snapped back. “It’s been there for years. Where did I see it last,” she added in a mutter.
“You do not need to take that tone with me,” her Mami scolded her. “I did not touch your ratty old bag. I do not know where it is.”
“Well, I know I didn’t move it, and it’s gone. So can anybody explain to me how it up and disappeared?”
Lydia thought it over. “I suppose...if it was in your closet...it might be at the Goodwill.”
She clamped down even harder on her temper. “Why would it be at the Goodwill?” 
“As I said, Lupita, I have done nothing wrong. But your boxes were next to the closet. So if it is missing, that may be why.”
“It was just an old duffel bag, right, Mom?” Alex was halfway through his dinner, but he couldn’t ignore the tension in the room. “You can get a new one.”
“Not everything’s replaceable, Alex. That old bag had a lot of memories attached.” She picked up her fork and tried to focus on her food while her mind reeled. It also had five incredibly personal love letters tucked into the inside pocket. Letters she’d never wanted their subjects to read.
Now Max knew she never got over him, and wanted him back. God, after more than a year, how pathetic he must think she was. 
And that didn’t begin to address the other letters. How long until those came back to haunt her, too? What about the man currently watching her while he ate, pretending that he wasn’t? How could she possibly explain any of this to Schneider?
She stabbed at her salad, lost in thought until she was done eating. 
Worried she might snap at him next, even Schneider was quiet during the meal. The scraping of utensils against dishes filled the silence until Penelope cleared her plate and went to her bedroom.
Schneider swallowed loudly after Penelope left, but didn’t offer up his usual attempts to paper over the unease that lingered behind her. 
Instead it was Lydia who broke the silence. “Lupe hasn’t used any of her old bags in years. I do not understand why she is so upset about this one.”
“Maybe she’s going through menopause,” Alex offered up.
Schneider’s fork clattered loudly onto his plate. 
Lydia shook her head. “No, that can’t be the problem, Papito. She is far too young.”
“It can start between the ages of 40 and 50,” Alex argued, ignoring the way Schneider was gaping at him. “Mom’s just inside the window.”
“This is very inappropriate talk,” Lydia scolded him, standing up to clear the rest of the plates.
“Elena wouldn’t stop lecturing me about it, okay? She wanted me to be ready when it happened in case she was moved out already. You know how she never shuts up.”
Schneider left Alex sitting alone to go find Penelope--normally she would be back out with the family after dinner, but if she was going to try this hard to avoid him, she wasn’t giving him much choice. 
With Lydia at the sink and Alex’s face in his phone already, Schneider doubted the others would even notice him gone. 
He tapped lightly on her door. “Penelope?” 
The long silence wasn’t comforting, but eventually he heard a quiet “Come in” and let himself in. 
“Hey,” he said as he shut the door behind him. “You know, Max seemed just as confused as me, back at the hospital. He just sort of stared at me, once you drove off, for the longest five seconds in history, and then he left without saying anything.”
“Yeah?” Penelope was looking at the floor more than him, but he could tell she was listening.
“Yeah. I think he wanted to talk to you too. Which made me even more confused. What’s going on?”
A brisk rap on the door sounded before it opened--not giving either of them time to respond. 
“Mami.”
“It’s time for dessert,” Lydia told them. “What are you two doing in here?”
Penelope ignored the gossipy insinuation in her tone--she knew better than anyone that it was her Mami’s way of hoping something interesting was about to happen, whether it actually was or not. “We were talking about dessert, actually. I was asking Schneider if he wanted to go with me to get ice cream.”
She raised her eyebrows, hoping he would follow her lead. “What do you say? Dessert run?”
Whatever he was thinking, or feeling, Schneider kept it to himself. “Sure, Pen. Sounds good. My treat.”
“Oh, Schneider, you are such a generous man,” Lydia told him with a hand on his arm--laying it on a little thick even by her usual standards. 
“Mami, calm down. It’s ice cream, not new shoes.”
“Lydia, did you want new shoes?” Schneider perked up, and Penelope grabbed him by the arm to pull him past her mom before they could get any ideas. 
“She doesn’t need you to buy her shoes. Let’s go.”
Penelope rushed him to the door with one hand on his back, nudging him forward as she opened it.
She was in such a hurry, she almost shoved him directly into Ben--who was standing on the other side, hand raised to knock. 
“Oh, hey, Penelope. Is this a bad time?”
18 notes · View notes