#he would shun the girls i crush on fr like oh my god.

[thatone-churro]

y’know just as soon as i start getting comfortable with the idea of being open/relying on my dad and him being more comfortable with my choices than i feared, i can essentially throw all that out the window with how vehemently he yelled at me at the thought of my getting my septum pierced (even though i never said i was yet. i said my side before i decide anything else). also making underhanded remarks of me never getting tattoos other than the one for my mom. like okay don’t ask me why i don’t tell you about anything or talk to you or anything. what the fuck.

#‘i love you no matter what’ and ‘you’re an adult and as long as your choices make you happy’ out the window i guess. #are we too sober for those statements to apply all of a sudden? #and again i didn’t even say i was getting it any time soon. i said my sister wants to take me to get my first non-ear piercing. #she’s getting hers repierced & i want to get my side. #and then he started going off on me for it for no reason. and brought up the one tattoo i want to get for my mom. #and THEN made an off handed remark of a similar vein about dyed hair. #i hope he knows he’s literally the only reason i don’t have piercings or tattoos or dyed hair or like anything that lets me look how i wanna #like deadass. i know i’m your ‘baby.’ but can i please actually embrace myself. i don’t care if you don’t like alt culture. i do. #he would shun the girls i crush on fr like oh my god. #like if he knew what i really wanted to look like i think he’d disown me. won’t even have to bring up my funky relationship with gender. #literally as soon as i start thinking i can be open with this man he pulls this shit and then asks why i’m slowly getting more distant. #like wow it’s almost like i’ve been regulated and raised according to what you want and not what i want. #and you wonder why my sisters (especially my oldest who has a lot of piercings & tattoos like i want) aren’t close either? isn’t that wild? #how we never got much of a chance to explore this without reprimand until we were moved out? even as legal adults? #absolutely WILD correlation there i wonder if the causation lines up here pa. what the fuck. #anyway i’m gonna go now and not cry because my roommates are home but i’m gonna go sulk because i’m sick of this ✌️ #oh wait convenient that the showdog poem went up tonight too isn’t that crazy. man calls himself out so hard lol #grace being stupid #text post #personal