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aro-comics · 2 years

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Growth (Part 3)

Growth, 3/3 - And … with that, we finish off yet another series 🐸🐸 I hope y’all enjoyed the ride, I know it’s been a long wait for this, but I really wanted to take my time and craft this comic and what I had to say with it (and also take my time with these last few greenhouse scenes haha).

I don’t think the ways in which amatonormativity affects us has been explored as much, since our awareness of the topic is so new. Or at the very least, I haven’t seen much discussion and I feel like we’re all just taking stabs at it atm. So here’s my take, it’s something I’ve reflecting on for quite some time, and I hope you’ve found it interesting too.

Also, this is less relevant to aromanticism, but I wanted to sign off on this: I know growing up I really clung to the idea of finding the *right* relationship, romantic or not, to be this kind of … magical key, to fixing many of my personal problems. But as I’ve learned through my own experiences, sometimes all you really need is the time and space to rest, to recover, and the will to try again at the end of the day (or the next morning, or whenever your strength returns).

If love and relationships have been the key to your healing and growth – fantastic! I’m genuinely so happy for you, and I think that is beautiful. But to anyone that needs to hear it, you can be fine too without. Your growth can be something that you shape and lead, and for what it’s worth. I think you will find at the end of the day the path you carve for yourself will be beautiful in its own ways, too.

Image Description:

Slide 1: Celia shrugs “Overall, I think it’s just that society puts a lot of emphasis on celebrating growth in relation to romantic love.”

Slide 2: “It’s all too common for me to hear people talk about how someone became nicer after they’ve found “the one”, how much better they are with a lover than without”

A younger Celia is shown studying as she listens to her parents converse. They say:

“You remember [redacted]?”

“Yeah”

“Yeah, he finally got a girlfriend and its like he did a complete 180 as a person. He’s so much nicer and more patient now …”

Slide 3: Celia says “ – and as an aro, I just … wish that there was just as much focus, and celebration, for the ways people grow in the absence of romance, or any kind of relationship.”

Slide 4: “Because that family friend was wrong.”

Slide 5: “I did grow, past the lack of confidence and the so-called shyness, all of these traits that supposedly I would have gotten as a part of falling in love.”

A pot of ferns is drawn growing, unfurling, reaching towards the top of the panel.

Slide 6: “I became strong, confident. More patient and kind and understanding than I had ever been, all of these traits that supposedly would have been the rewards of love,”

Celia sits in her gardening attire. From her hand floats a fern unfurling, with sparkles in the background.

Slide 7: “Except I didn’t fall in love. I wasn’t motivated by any person, romantically or platonically or otherwise. And as much as I wish it was because I embraced self-love … it actually wasn’t either.

I grew because I had finally been given enough space to heal from what had been hurting me back then. And because I wanted to.”

Slide 8: “People love to say that everyone eventually blooms in the presence of “true love”, but I’ve always disagreed. Celia is illustrated talking to a blank person, from which a speech bubble shows a flowering plant. Celia says “I don’t agree”.

Slide 9: Back in the greenhouse, Celia is shown watering plants as the sun shines behind her. “In nature, not every plant flowers.”

Slide 10: “And those plants are no less beautiful for it.”

Shot pans out into the wider greenhouse, an array of nonflowering plants depicted around Celia as she stands with her watering can. The afternoon sun pours into the building, illuminating her and her surroundings.

#regularcomic #GrowthComic

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girlgrowclub · 6 months

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#growthcomic #minigiantess #longleggedgirl #tallgirl #giantess

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chris4grow · 1 year

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Cookies for Santa

First results of stuffing

Follow the comic on

patreon.com/growthcorp2020

#christmas #weightgain #gainer #ageprogression #weightgaincomic #transformation #tfeveryday #ftcomic #growth #growingfatter #growing #growthcomic #stuffingbelly #stuffing #bellygrow #bellystuffing

#transformation #tftuesday #growth #growing #hunk #tf comics #weight gain #tfeveryday #age progression #belly gainer #belly growth #fit to fat

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kshawfx · 3 years

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"Strength and growthcome only through continuous effort and struggle" . . . . . . #body #business #bossbabe #success #6amsuccess #world #millionairemindset #2020You #successaddictives32 #2020These https://www.instagram.com/p/CJ4X4fxg_q3/?igshid=zf2n9cvlyw3z

#body #business #bossbabe #success #6amsuccess #world #millionairemindset #2020you #successaddictives32 #2020these

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happypersonaexpertfriend · 4 years

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Strength and growthcome only through continouse offer andstruggel. BA.... . . .@beingskboutique. 📸BY:@sk_photugraphy__ll. #kingofmillionsk#beingshadab kha. 27#beingskboutique#bawal27#sk_photugraphy #lifestyle#keeploving#fashionblogger#casualstyle#kyliejenner https://www.instagram.com/p/B-NKi-up107/?igshid=pazl3h9jecqj

#kingofmillionsk #beingshadab #beingskboutique #bawal27 #sk_photugraphy #lifestyle #keeploving #fashionblogger #casualstyle #kyliejenner

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aro-comics · 2 years

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Growth (Part 1)

Growth, 1/3 – And … oh my gosh. I can’t believe it took THIS LONG to finish this comic ;A; I feel like I say this every time, but y’all – I STARTED PANELLING THIS ALMOST A WHOLE YEAR AGO. Really. It’s been sitting on my plate for too long, and I’m so glad I can finally share it!

Where do I even begin with my thoughts? For starters, I wanted to say the examples chosen in slide 8 are mainly from larger pieces of media, because they have greater influence on our *general social consciousness*. I don’t necessarily recommend or approve of the source material! I also have more thoughts on these characters, and about amatonormativity in relation to character growth in general, but for the sake of keeping this caption short(er) I will do so on my stories and pin them to my profile for future reference 😂

AUTHOR'S NOTE: For the sake of accessibility (and my own health) I will be making a transcript of the stories in its simplest form, posted here.

If you have any examples you can think of too, please let me know either in the comments or via DM 🐸🐸

I wish I was joking about the events which inspired this comic, but this LITERALLY happened to me, and this wasn’t the only time I experienced some form of amatonormativity or direct arophobia growing up. You may not think things like this are a problem, but this idea of romantic relationships as a crucial part of emotional growth has real world implications. Aros get told that their orientation IS the root of all their problems, or IS THE PROBLEM ITSELF, a lot. And not only is this wrong (and queerphobic), it also causes people to overlook the real issues that we may be struggling with. This can prevent us from getting help we NEED, not to mention the fact that orientation isn’t something that needs to be fixed.

In my personal experience … I don’t want to get into the specifics of the situation described here (Because it genuinely was one of the worst times of my life, and I don’t like thinking about it) – but basically, the help I needed was definitely NOT to get a romantic partner. A lot of my behaviours were very clearly ones that indicated I should have been hospitalized, or at least sent to a highly trained medical professional for intervention. But I never received any care, even though my parents were to some degree aware of what the issue was … and it somewhat appalls me that this family friend would take one look at me and somehow decide the issue was anything less than a serious, medical situation.

I want to emphasize I know none of them did it on purpose, and to be fair, it wasn’t entirely clear what the specific issue was (to the family friend at least). But it does hurt to have so clearly shown signs of crisis, to have done a near 180 in personality and behaviour, and to have it brushed off or implied that this is caused by something fundamental to your orientation. It makes me feel so inherently wrong, and if I’m going to be even more brutally honest I think the amatonormative way I was raised is a big part of the reason why I still struggle with my self esteem as an aro today. Even now, I still get told that maybe my remaining problems and personal struggles will go away if I was willing to give dating a try.

It just makes me so tired.

But, the more I reflect on my orientation and am able to connect with aros and the community as a whole, it has been helping. I don’t think it will go away any time soon, but at least when the feeling (that my orientation is something that’s fundamentally wrong with me) comes up I can tell myself that it just isn’t true. That I know that being aro isn’t a curse, isn’t a flaw, isn’t something that should haunt me for the rest of my life, that it’s something natural and beautiful and that I adore about my community. And I should extend that same care to myself, too. It has been getting easier.

As always, I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences on this topic. Do you feel that others perception of your maturity and growth as a human being is influenced by amatonormativity?

Image Descriptions

Title Card: Cover Image. This Comic series is titled “Growth”. Celia, an east asian girl with wavy chin length hair, is illustrated wearing a cream crop top and yellow pants sitting amongst leaves and yellow flowers on a rocky surface. A watering can sits in the background.

Slide 1: Celia is seen standing from the side, with her arms crossed. She frowns. “When I was going through one of the worst times of my life, a family friend went out of his way to tell my parents that he noticed how unconfident I seemed.”

Slide 2: Scene turns to a memory, depicted as a sketch. The family friend is shown talking to Celia’s parents. “He told them not to worry though, because there was an easy solution. I just needed to find the right person, and start dating them.”

Slide 3: A speech bubble from the family friend illustrates this analogy. On the left is a flower pot with no plant, and a sad face above it. On the right is a blooming flower with hearts around it.

Celia’s note: I wish I was making this up. Blossom was LITERALLY the analogy used here

Slide 4: Back to Celia, who is speaking to the reader now: “It really, really hurt. I knew the reason why I wasn’t the best version of myself wasn’t because I hadn’t found love.”

Slide 5: She stares down at a yellow flower as she continues, “But unfortunately, I think thoughts, and unwarranted comments like these, stem from a deeper amatonormative view of the subject of growth”

Slide 6: “Countless stories which show the hero’s growth as pinned to their romantic arc.” Illustrated beneath is a stereotypical hero kneeling on the ground in front of his love interest. He holds a yellow flower as he says “I couldn’t have become the person I am today without you, your love showed me what’s worth trying for”.

Slide 7: “And on the more toxic side of things, those without romantic love or those who reject it end up as decrepit, cold, emotionally stunted, or sad.”

A few characters from popular, influential, or otherwise notable television shows are depicted here: Cruella de Vil from 101 Dalmations, Queen Chrysalis from My Little Pony (Generation 4), Dr. Berkowitz from One Day at a Time, Alan Harper from Two and a Half Men, and Rajesh Koothrappali from The Big Bang Theory. A note indicates to the reader to check the description.

As a disclaimer: The inclusion of these characters do not indicate the author’s recommendation or approval of the original source material – they are only meant to serve as examples of the point to be made.

Slide 8: Scene switches to Celia now watering a collection of ferns, mugworts, and other leafy plants in a greenhouse. She says “As an aro person, it’s tiring to hear the more toxic side of this narrative again and again. It feels like we’re being told we won’t grow, like others can.”

#regularcomic #GrowthComic

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aro-comics · 2 years

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Growth (Part 2)

Growth, Part 2/3 – ITS REALLY NOT THAT HARD!! 😭😭 Lol sorry but the last panel is absolutely me when I think about amatonormativity as a whole, it’s really silly the more you think about it and I can’t believe that it’s so deeply engrained in most of the world.

I think I should mention I don’t have any specific narratives to reference for the tropes described in this comic, as much as I would like to, as I started panelling this a year ago and past me GOOFED and didn’t leave many notes on what examples she was specifically think of. Again, feel free to let me know any examples you can think of in the comments or via DM! I’ll pin them if they’re in the comments and I might make a follow up Tumblr post listing examples 😊

Also, while I was researching this general topic I did go through TV Tropes “The Singles” (as a character type? Category) page, and I found something very interesting. There’s a literally a section describing the tropes that “explain” why a character was not in a romantic relationship … and literally they have ever “Excuse” for why a character might be single except for. Maybe literally they’re aromantic 😭 The closest is “Allergic to Love” (which like, relatable. But also not inherently an orientation).

Just like …. OH MY GOD. People sometimes try to act like we’re being dramatic about leting people know being Aromantic is possible but STRAIGHT UP. IN POPULAR CULTURE (and often OUR WHOLE LIVES BEFORE WE DISCOVER THE TERM, AND ACCEPT OUR IDENTITES) THE IDEA OF BEING AROMANTIC IS JUST NON-EXISTENT, WRITTEN AROUND WITH EVERY OTHER POSSIBLE “EXCUSE” OR “EXPLANATION” Because apparently the idea that someone could just not feel romantic attraction is too much for this world 😫

I don’t have too much else to say, other than I hope you’re all holding up okay and taking care of yourselves.

Image Description:

Slide 1: Celia holds her hand up to her chin, contemplating. “The whole idea of growth being tied to romance is reflected in other tropes too –”

Slide 2: A split panel is illustrated. A south asian girl is shown crying as she types on her phone. She mutters to herself “Ugh, I’m SO done with dating. I’m putting myself first for once.”

On the other side of the panel, she is shown to have gone through a *transformation* (a la early 2000s makeover), and bumping into her destined love interest.

“The character’s efforts to “work on themselves” and “get away from romance”, are ironically what lead them to finding their “happy ending”.

Slide 3: Alternatively, a character finally accepting that they are happy single is seen as a “stepping stone” to being “ready” for a relationship.

In this scene, a brunette wearing a yellow shirt and dark skirt proclaims “I can be happy as a single woman”. In the background a spotlight flicks on as her “right” love interest appears. “Achievement unlocked: True Love interest” is overlaid in a font reminiscent of classic video games.

Slide 4: Celia speaks to the viewer. “Again, there’s nothing inherently wrong about either of these stories. It’s amazing if someone who gave up on love due to frustration, not a lack of desire, finds it again through pure fate and luck.”

Slide 5: Celia gestures now as she tries to explain, “But the problem is that these moments are framed as more of a “gotcha”, where this idea of pursuing growth purely for oneself, or holding any disdain of a romantic relationship in this process, is inherently wrong. In the end, even growing for yourself is really about growing for a romantic relationship.”

Slide 6: Celia rubs her hands through her hair in frustration. “Like … not everything is about being in a relationship! It’s not that hard.”

#regularcomic #GrowthComic

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girlgrowclub · 5 months

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