#gotta ask my therapist why my negative emotions manifesting in anger in order to mask the real emotions (grief and sadness)

[arrowpunk]

Oh I will be so happy to go back on my meds tomorrow because this small bout of being off of them has manifested in the sad/depressed/apathetic/no creative energy version of being off my meds, due to circumstances out of my control, and I would like to not be like this

#ramblings of an arrow #lol it's a good thing I have therapy this afternoooon #gotta ask my therapist why my negative emotions manifesting in anger in order to mask the real emotions (grief and sadness) #doesn't actually help at all #and the grief and sadness STILL COME OUT ACTUALLY just in smaller and more subtle ways #very rude of my emotions to be this way #my partner remarked the other day that she hasn't heard me say this many negative things about myself since uhhh I was 18 #WHICH MEANS THINGS ARE PRETTY BAD #I hadn't even realized I'd been doing it it wasn't conscious at all #and I figured out WHY but it still suckssssssss #it's not even anything I DID #so it's nothing I know how to FIX #I mean I'm gonna be more intentional about the words I say about myself #it's just I cannot fix the source of the feelings because it's something that someone else is doing #ughhhhhhhhh #let's hope getting back on the meds helps at least a little bit #issue is this started before my meds ran out