#god why do i even care. it doesnt matterrrrrr

[vvolkulja]

hate how im not ugly and can be considered beautiful up until im compared to any other woman. especially those with a thin light frame. and my face looks just almost "classically" beautiful, almost, if you squint and i stand alone. my body too. literally can only compete because im busty which isnt even a plus because what else is there if i wasnt.

#i sincerely doubt anyone would consider me the most beautiful and attractive woman in the world #im not even among the top no wonder i got cheated on #i hope im reincarnated at least as someone with a naturally light frame #god why do i even care. it doesnt matterrrrrr #im ranting because im on my period and body dismorphia is kicking in #especially hate how i rediscovered the pic where i was skinny i looked better tbh. hate it. #i just want to feel like im enough man which i am but made the mistake of comparing myself to other women. again. #moje

[ixnova]

AhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAH i want to lie in the woods scream at the crows and ROT like god DAMMIT.

Cant fucking do or say anything right. Everything i do or say taken out of context mis understood just makes shit worse! Cant vent! Cant scream into the void! What other friends i have no friends! Everyone i talk to i eventually turn away because im just toxic tm its been KNOWN like i never fucking learn to keep my clown mouth SHUT. Whenever i meet ppl i like i end up unintentionally picking fights and having them amd and upset and it feels like all the goddamn time!!! Im so tired!!! I just want genuine interactions!!!!! Its so hard to trust people i cant even trust my own parents and its always im the problem!!! If i try to adjust im still the problem!!! Im never good for anything!!!!

I dont recall ever insulting people but when i say how im feeling from stuff its oh im in the wrong im making others feel bad!!! Its never like wow why does nova feel like that if given xyz. I still wanna like everyone but i cant open up and fit in because i just cannot trust anymore!!! I cannot handle anything negative because i get scared abd paranoid bc i am SO INCREDIBLY FUCKED UP.

It runs so deep its just so much more than that and its not just me assuming shit but no one gets it no one understands my mind and life is like a living hell im trapped i want out i crave death 24/7. I hate myself most of all like im not mad at anyone im just so incrediably fed up with myself!!!

I scream into the void sometimes because i HAVE NO OUTLET. I have 2 options i used to only have one. And when ones asleep if i have issues with the other i SCREAM because no one else actually does care enough! Like its not like what they assume at ALL but its always the fucking case im always the bad guy im used to that at this point but FUCK ME dude im so tired. I want out out out outtttttt

I hate hate hate hateeeeeeeeeeweeeee doesnt amtter nova revils magic emily go choke and die it doesnt MATTERRRRRR