#god I kept rambling even after trying to wrap things up smh

[byanyan]

oops, got myself thinking again about byan having a little hoard of weird and random trinkets and shiny things hidden away under their bed in the same way that some cats have collections of bottle caps under furniture.

like, none of it is particularly meaningful and they don't wear any of the jewelry that's under there, but they like to pull it all out once in a while to look at and are always adding more

#there's a lot of jewelry but there's a lot of other shiny things and weirder stuff too #like there's a heart shaped rock they stole from someone in elementary and some pretty feathers they've found on the ground #but then there's also a wrapper from a cute snack they had and a bone from some random animal they found in a park #colourful buttons and cute ribbons and a trading card from a game they've never played #and probably also a pink bottle cap tbh #literally just a random collection of Stuff they like but have no use for #it's a collection they've had to rebuild a few times too #bc staff/caretakers at the group home(s) would find it all sometimes and throw away whatever looked like junk or trash #tbh it's a collection they still have and add to even after they move in w sol and start sharing a bed #and they still keep it under the bed ofc bc it's habit at this point and honestly I'm not so sure they've even told him it's there 🤔 #...im rambling bc I'm kinda buzzed but like. idk I love byan and their pile of random shit #I think part of what got them started was want to actually Have Things bc they grew up not having much #and they would ABSOLUTELY get jealous of kids at school who had all kinds of belongings #who could have coherent collections and all the cool toys and shit #so they just started collecting anything that caught their eye #even if it was labels off of bottles or those cheap erasers shaped like animals or food or w/e that don't actually erase anything #and it's a habit that persisted after they started stealing basically anything they wanted/needed #and will continue to persist even once they have a job and money to buy what they want #god I kept rambling even after trying to wrap things up smh #this is the shit I'm talking about when I say I have weirdly specific and detailed thoughts about inane and unimportant aspects of byan #━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don’t @ me.

[natasha-cole]

Worlds Collide Chapter 10

Pairing: Reader x Billy Moran

Chapter Summary: Reader wants her relationship with Billy to move a little faster. Since she isn’t well-versed in the knowledge of being with someone physically, she asks Kim and Briana for advice.

Word Count: 4172

Warnings: fluff, awkward discussion of sex, fluffy smut, general awkwardness... the entire thing is just awkward and hilarious.

Notes: Oh god... I wrote some Billy smut. It was awkward and I’m so embarrassed. smh.

Words of the day: awkward and embarrassed.

Catch Up: Chapter 1  Chapter 2  Chapter 3  Chapter 4  Chapter 5  Chapter 6  Chapter 7  Chapter 8  Chapter 9

You and Billy arrived in New Orleans finally, ready for yet another convention. You were happy that you chose someone who wasn’t necessarily in the spotlight as much as you were, but who was still a big enough part of these weekends that you were still able to spend time with him while you worked.

You had been dropped off at your hotel, the two of you settling in to your room. You had decided early on that it was no longer worth getting separate rooms anymore. One of you was going to end up in the other’s room anyway for the weekend.

You laid back on the bed, relaxing after the long flight. Billy joined you, indulging you in some cuddling that he knew you enjoyed. You were still thinking about the events from the previous night, still reeling from the fact that someone had the nerve to try to swoop in and take him away from you. You had only told him “I told you so,” once, and decided it was best to let it go after that. He had come back to you, and that was all that mattered.

Right now, you were also still thinking about how it might be a good idea to take your relationship with him to the next level. You really did like him, and he had no qualms in telling you that he loved you. You also knew that you couldn’t keep him forever if you weren’t going to put out at some point.

Since he had gotten into the habit of holding back a bot when it came to you, you decided to initiate something this time. You reached over to him, grabbing a hold of his shirt as you gently pulled him toward you. He took a hint, moving to lean over you so that he could kiss you. You sighed against his lips, always grateful to have his lips on yours. You wrapped your arms around his neck, prompting him to press his lips harder against yours. The kiss became heated, as it always did between the two of you, and he was nearly laying on top of you as your lips moved against each other, tongues tasting each other. Billy always did what he could to press his luck, it’s just who he was. There was never a make-out session where he didn’t end up grinding against you or letting his hands wander. At first, you stopped all of that before it became too embarrassing for you. Eventually, Billy learned to back off when even he realized things were getting too heated.

This time however, you didn’t want to stop him. You knew that you wanted him, and you wouldn’t push him away if things ended up going in that direction again. You felt his hand move beneath your shirt so that he could touch your skin. He paused, still kissing you, expecting you to push him away as you usually did. You made no move to do so though, and he seemed to be surprised that he was allowed to do this. You reached down to grab his hand and he began to move it away, thinking you were going to do it for him anyway, but you decided to direct him to where you wanted him. You brought his hand up and placed it on your breast, causing him to freeze completely.

He pulled back from you, looking into your eyes as if to ask what you were doing exactly. You gave him a smile, bringing his face back down to yours to continue kissing him. He became brave after a few moments, now working on touching you there. He kneaded your breast and you giggled, only stopping to gasp once his thumb found your nipple.

When he realized that you weren’t stopping him, and this was the furthest you had ever let him go this entire time the two of you had been seeing each other, he decided to press his luck even more. Without breaking the kiss, he promptly topped you, moving himself in between your legs and instantly began to grind against you. You broke your lips from him, moaning out loud as he did so, overcome at how just that action alone felt so good. You blushed, realizing that you had made such a sound and he chuckled at you before moving to focus on your neck. He placed chaste kisses along your neck, stopping occasionally to nip at your sensitive skin. You grasped onto him, focusing on the way your breathing became rapid, still turned on at the way he moved against you.

Maybe you didn’t know much about all of this, but you did know that it already felt amazing. For the first time ever, you knew that you wanted to finally be with someone, as long as that someone was him. You brought your hand down, shaking as you tried to work it between the two of you so that you could try to undo his jeans. Maybe you could at least hint to him that you were ready without having to humiliate yourself by saying it outright.

When he realized what you were doing, he gently removed your hand from his jeans, leading it back up to place it above your head. He gave you a soft smile, leaning in to kiss you on the lips gently. You were sure you were beet red by now, even more embarrassed that he had obviously shot down your advances.

He moved himself off of you, laying back onto the bed after he was sure he had put some distance between the two of you. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t get so carried away.”

“It’s okay,” you said, trying to ease his mind. “It all felt very nice. You could have kept going.”

“I’m not going to pressure you, Y/N.”

“You’re not,” you replied quickly. You were still very much turned on and you wanted him to still be touching you and focusing on making you feel good.

“Yeah, I am. I keep forgetting that I’m with someone who hasn’t experienced that yet, and I’ll just try to be better. I want you to be comfortable with me.”

“I am comfortable with you,” you chuckled. “I mean, come on. We stay at each other’s places all the time. We make out constantly. Eventually, this relationship has to advance I guess.”

“It will,” he replied, “but, I need to remember to do things a little slower with you.”

That was not what you wanted at all. Obviously, he had been thinking a lot about how to slow down a bit, unsure of how to be with someone who maybe wasn’t ready for that part of a relationship. You, on the other hand, felt completely different. While you were nervous as hell about the idea of finally being with someone like that, you knew that you wanted your first time to be with him. The only problem now, was that you didn’t know how to vocalize that. You were far too awkward and socially challenged to even know how to speak out about something so intimate, especially with a man who was far more experienced than you were.

“I’m really sorry,” he reiterated. He reached down, grabbing your hand as he pulled it up to his face, placing a kiss on your knuckles. “I’ll slow down.”

You nodded, surprised that this had ended up in this direction, and sort of pissed that you didn’t know how to take it in the direction that you really wanted.

You sought out the girls the next morning. You didn’t have many people in your life that you could turn to with personal thing, but you were at least getting to know Kim and Briana. They weren’t as bad as you had thought they were in the beginning. Now, you had spent a little time with them, hopefully enough time to consider them sort of friends who might listen to you and offer you some advice. You found them in the green room, both of them sitting at a table, talking to each other. The space was empty otherwise; the band and Rich probably out on stage. Whoever the other guests were for the weekend either getting ready for a panel or doing photo ops. Right now was your perfect opportunity to ask the two for some advice.

“Hey ladies,” you said cheerfully as you approached them.

“Y/N,” Kim acknowledged you, “how are you?”

“Oh, I’m great,” you responded. “Hey, we’re friends, right?”

“Uh, yeah. We’re friends,” Briana replied.

“Okay, good. Because I know we’re all just starting to finally get along and all, but I’ve got something that I need to talk to someone about. And I know we’re not, like, best friends, but you’re the closest thing that I have to actual friends-”

“Wow, yeah, you’re rambling,” Briana cut in.

“I’m sorry.”

“You seem nervous,” Kim pointed out, “what’s up?”

“I just… really need some advice on something.”

“Sure, that’s what we’re here for. Shoot.”

“I'm ready to sleep with Billy,” you stated quickly. You felt your heart race as you admitted it out loud, smiling slightly at your bravery in even being able to say the words and not second guess yourself.

Kim stared at you, wide-eyed and caught off guard.

“Um, okay,” she replied. “for future reference, you don't have to announce it to us just because we're friends.”

You rolled your eyes at her, “I'm telling you because I need your help.”

Briana choked on her drink just then, sputtering and coughing as she too was caught by surprise at the way the conversation was going.

“I- I don't know that I’d be much help in that area,” Kim replied, her words adding to Briana’s laughing fit. “What do you want me to do exactly?”

“Oh come on, I just need advice.”

“You need advice?” Briana said in disbelief.

“I'm going to tell you something and I want you to promise not to make fun of me.”

“We won't make fun of you,” Kim promised.

“I'm a virgin.” Again, more words that you were afraid to say out loud, but being able to do so right now helped you feel a little more comfortable with your new friends.

Briana let out a loud cackle and you stared at her.

“Oh, you're serious.”

“Yes, I'm serious. Is this funny to you?”

“No, not at all, I just thought you were joking.”

“It's not a joke. I've never been with someone in that way, and I want him to be my first.”

“Wow, that's a big deal Y/N.” Kim looked at you, almost as if she actually cared.

“I just- I need advice, since I’ve never done this before. I don’t really have anyone else to ask for advice. You’re the only female… friends… that I have I guess.”

“Okay, well, what kind of advice do you need?”

“How do I make him put out?” You asked seriously.

Briana laughed again. This time, nearly brought to tears at the absurdity of the entire situation.

“I’m so happy that my non-existent sex life is so hilarious to you.”

“I’m sorry-” she took a deep breath, trying to calm herself, “this is all just so awkward.”

“I don’t want to make anyone feel awkward. You know what? Nevermind, this was a stupid idea. I’ll just go buy an issue of Cosmo and hope it can help.”

“Stop,” Kim insisted, “what do you mean, how do you make him put out.?”

“I mean, I tried to hint that I wanted to be with him like that. He basically shot me down. He said he didn’t want to pressure me, so we should wait for as long as I need.”

“But, you’re ready?” Kim asked, giving you a questioning stare as if to ask if you were really ready.

“I am. I know that none of you think I’m any good for him. But, I love him. No one has ever made me feel the way that he does.”

“Sweetie, that’s great,” Kim smiled. “And for the record, I think you two are great together. No one hates you as much as you think they do. In fact, we’re all pretty excited that you’re actually talking to us for once.”

“He’s a good egg,” Briana added, finally calm enough to add to the conversation. “What you need to do it just tell him that you want him to fuck you.”

You felt your face heat up, not really shocked by her choice of words, but definitely thrown off a bit. Briana must have noticed how uncomfortable her words made you feel, because she looked at you quizzically for a moment.

“Does that weird you out?” She asked. “The ‘F’ word?”

“I don’t know. I guess when you refer to having sex as… that. Then, yeah, it’s kind of embarrassing.”

“You mean, the idea of fucking embarasses you?”

“Oh my god,” you choked out. “Do you have to say it like that?”

“Holy shit,” Briana mumbled, “I really thought you were pulling our legs. You really are a virgin, huh?”

“Why would I lie about something like that?”

“I don’t know. You do a lot of weird shit.”

“Is that really what guys want?” You asked, turning back to Kim when you realized she might be the better person to receive advice from. “They like it when you swear at them and just act… forward about sex?”

“Well, I’m not really sure what he’d be into,” she mused, “maybe he likes dirty talk. He’s quiet, so he’d probably be into it.”

“I don’t know if I can do that.”

“Look, if you really want to be with him, just tell him. You don’t have to go about it the way Bri suggested, but maybe just have a quiet night in. Talk to him, bring it up, tell him that you are ready.”

“Am I going to sound pathetic telling him that I want him in that way?”

“Honey, there’s nothing pathetic about telling a man exactly what you want,” Briana added.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this,” Kim said, looking shocked at herself. “But Bri is right on. Tell him what you want exactly. Any guy who isn’t into hearing what you want, isn’t worth the time. So, at least you’ll know.”

“Okay, thank you,” you said. You let their words sink in, taking a serious mental note on the importance of telling him what you wanted. “I’m sort of nervous about what happens when I do tell him what I want.”

“Trust me, he’ll give it to you.” Again, Briana made you blush.

“Look, I’m not going to give you an entire play by play on how to have sex,” Kim cut in, “it will just come naturally. You’ll know what to do, he’ll know what to do. And, again, make sure you tell him what you want and what feels good.”

“Thank you,” you replied, honestly grateful that they had at least listened to your concerns and seemed to take the time to give you some actual advice. Not only were you new to the whole boyfriend thing, but you were also new to understanding what it was like to have friends. At least it seemed as if you were learning to work on your lack of knowledge in both types of relationships.

That night, when you and Billy returned to your room after dinner, you decided to make your move again. You were tired of waiting now. You didn’t really know how to properly initiate something like this, but you also knew that he respected you so much, that he wasn’t going to be the one to push the topic.

When he joined you in bed, pulling you in for more cuddling that you always engaged in, you quickly made the move. You reached for his pants, slipping your hand into them and taking a hold of him. He gasped in surprise, grasping onto your hand to make you stop.

“What are you doing?” He asked. He looked at you as if you had done something you shouldn’t have. You felt yourself blush yet again, wondering if you were seriously that big of an idiot to mess even that up.

“I- I’m sorry,” you stuttered, “did I do something wrong.”

“No,” he replied, still holding your arm as you kept your hand in the same spot. “You just- you can’t grab someone like that.”

“Why not?”

“Because,” he replied, sounding flustered, “because now I’m suddenly turned on.”

“That’s a good thing,” you grinned, leaning in to kiss him.

“It’s only a good thing if we do something to, uh, relieve the situation.”

“Okay,” you agreed, kissing him heatedly again. This was going a whole lot better than you had expected it to.

He pushed you away from him just then, removing your hand from him and turning away from you as he tried to pull himself together. Again, you felt that twinge of embarrassment. You weren’t positive, but you didn’t think the events leading up to sleeping with someone was supposed to be this awkward.

You stayed where you were, sort of shocked that he was still turning you down. You didn’t touch him anymore, wondering now if maybe he just didn’t want you in that way.

“I don’t want to ever make you feel like I’m pressuring you,” he explained. “I respect that you’ve waited so long to be with anyone. Don’t think that you have to give in when it comes to me.”

“You’re not pressuring me. I want to be with you. I want this.”

He avoided your gaze, looking as if he were engaged in some sort of inner dialogue now. He was thinking hard, and you couldn’t help but feel as if he was genuinely questioning whether you were ready.

You took his face in your hands, leading him back to you until he was looking at you again.

“I know what I want,” you said boldly, suddenly feeling empowered as you decide to take control of the fact that he was holding back just because of the fact that you were a virgin. “I want you. I want to be with you.”

“Are you sure? You’re not just doing this because you think that it’s what I want.”

“I’m pretty sure this is what you want,” you replied, grinning at him as you kissed him again.

“You’re not wrong.”

“If it’s what we both want, then why can’t we just have it?

“I don’t want you to regret it. Especially since you’ve never been with anyone before.”

“How could I regret being with someone that I love?” You heard the words roll off your tongue finally. It wasn’t that you felt that you needed to return those words to him, you knew he’d never pressure you into anything, but you genuinely meant it now. You did love him, and you finally felt okay with saying it out loud.

Billy said nothing. He simply gave you a smile and a pleased look when he heard what you had said. He kissed you back. This time, leaning you back against the bed as he moved over you again. You enjoyed the feel of him on top of you, and right now was no different. You gripped onto his hips, pulling at him to indicate that you weren’t joking about what you had said before. You had been thinking about this for some time, and you wanted it to happen finally.

He took his time with you; focusing on kissing you, touching you, and undressing you slowly. By the time you were both undressed and ready, you were nervous. You rested your hands across his shoulders, aware of how shaky they were and how worried you were that you’d disappoint him. The idea of sex itself didn’t scare you; it was your lack of experience in that area that you were freaking out about. You couldn’t bear the idea of losing him just because you didn’t know what you were doing.

“Are you sure about this?” He asked when he noticed how nervous you were.

“I am,” you nodded. “I just don’t want to disappoint you.”

He gave you a crooked smile, kissing you softly. “You could never disappoint me,” he replied.

He teased you for a moment; touching you where you wanted him most. You were already gasping and moaning just by the way his fingers felt inside of you. You were being loud and you felt embarrassed at how you were unable to hold back. He continued to touch you and you learned that biting down on your lip helped in muffling the sounds that you were making. He moved his hand from your core and you let out a whine at the loss of contact. Not wanting to make you wait, he met your eyes with his as adjusted himself between your legs and he pushed into you finally. Your focus on being quiet dissipated for a moment as your mouth dropped open as he filled you up. You let out a guttural moan once he was completely inside you. You caught yourself again, now trying to stop yourself from doing that. You quieted yourself and he leaned in to give you a kiss before he began to thrust into you.

The last thing you wanted to do was make too much noise again. That had been embarrassing already. But, your senses were overwhelmed; your body aching and trembling as he made love to you. He was watching you, breathing quietly and letting out low moans as he moved against you. Despite the fact that this felt so good, and your body wanted to be vocal about just how good it was; you bit your lip, stifling the sounds so you wouldn’t humiliate yourself.

You only occasionally let your mouth fall open slightly, pressing your head back against the bed, eyes closed, moaning as quietly as you could. Then, you’d go back to pressing your lips together, focused on not being too loud. He definitely noticed what you were doing after a while; smiling when he could tell that you were close to your release, also realizing that you were trying so hard to hold back in letting him know how good it was.

“Are you okay,” he asked, obviously checking in on you. You nodded, letting out a quiet moan in place of the word you wanted to say.

He leaned in, pressing his lips to yours as he panted against your mouth. He slipped his tongue past your lips, prompting you to part them which only resulted in a much louder moan to escape. You blushed, realizing just how loud it had been. He only smiled harder, still pressing his lips against yours as he thrust harder into you. The fact that he was kissing you like this made it so that you couldn’t bite your lip to hold back your sounds. Your moans and gasps only grew louder and you couldn’t help but feel humiliated.

“This will be so much better if you just let go,” he whispered as he moved his lips against your ear, not losing a beat in his movements. Maybe it was the way he thrust into you, making your pleasure build. Perhaps it was the feel of his breath, hot against your ear as he encouraged you to let yourself go for once. Whatever it was, you did as he suggested; throwing your head back as your climax peaked, not even able to pay attention to how vocal you were being now.

You grasped on to him tightly as you came, moaning loudly and gasping, no longer caring about being subdued. This all just felt too damn good to worry about holding back, and you knew now that you didn’t have to hold back with him. He came as well, swearing slightly under his breath, your name slipping past his lips in a quiet praise. You watched him; blushing again at the fact that you were the one who was making him feel this good.

He pressed his forehead against yours, still moving against you slowly; causing you to gasp at how sensitive you were now. He chuckled when he realized what he was doing to you and he leaned in to kiss you slowly and passionately. Your noticed that your grip on his back was still tight, surely there would be marks left. So, you focused on relaxing, letting your body melt under the weight of him; your heart rate slowing now that you were coming down from your high.

When the kiss was over, he pulled back, looking you in your eyes with a pleased grin on his face.

“I love you,” he said. He reached a hand up to brush it along your cheek.

“I love you too.” you breathed out. For the first time ever, you could finally say those words to someone and actually mean them.

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#worlds collide #billy moran x reader