#gfehasdbfabf

[hongrizoon]

Scared of losing you

"Scared of losing you" - [ angst, fluff ]

masterlist

-- summary: it's not easy breaking up with the man you loved, well love.

-- genre: fluff, angst-ish

-- word count: 1k+

-- pairings: Kang Yeosang x Fem!Reader

mars notes. idk how to feel about this one.. anyways this will probably be the last thing i'll post for a while, since ive been posting a lot of drafts. i'll post more one shots and stuff another day.. im rlly tired.

The fluorescent lights of the convenience store buzzed overhead, casting a sterile glow on the tear tracks staining Y/N's cheeks. She clutched a lukewarm cup of coffee, the steam failing to dissipate the chill that had settled deep within her. Rain lashed against the windows, mimicking the storm brewing in her chest. Every rumble of thunder echoed the tumult of emotions warring within her.

Her gaze drifted towards the cashier, Kang Yeosang, his once familiar features now cast in a harsh light. His brow furrowed in concern as their eyes met, a flicker of something she couldn't decipher crossing his face before he quickly looked away. Shame burned in her stomach, a bitter counterpoint to the hollowness that had taken root there since their break-up.

It had been three months, yet the memory of their final fight remained vivid. Words, barbed and laced with unspoken hurt, had been flung back and forth, leaving a chasm that neither seemed capable of bridging. The hurt in his eyes, a mirror of her own, had been the final blow, pushing her out the door and into a future devoid of him.

A sob escaped her lips, barely audible over the rain's relentless drumming. Regret, a suffocating weight, settled on her chest. Had they been too quick to give up? Was their love, once a vibrant flame, truly extinguished, or just smoldering beneath a layer of misunderstandings?

The chime of the store door opening jolted her out of her reverie. A young couple hurried in, seeking refuge from the downpour. The woman, shivering in a thin jacket, leaned into the man's embrace, his arm tightening around her protectively. A pang of longing shot through Y/N.

She remembered countless rainy days spent with Yeosang, huddled under a shared umbrella, their laughter echoing amidst the pitter-patter of raindrops. He'd always known how to chase away the chill, not just from her body but from her soul as well.

A wave of nausea washed over her. The coffee, usually a source of comfort, now tasted like burnt regret. She choked back a sob, the familiar sting of tears blurring her vision.

Suddenly, a voice, hesitant yet concerned, cut through the haze of her despair.

"Y/N? Are you alright?"

Yeosang stood beside her, his usual stoicism replaced by a worried frown. He held a pack of tissues, his hand hovering awkwardly in the air.

Shame threatened to drown her again, but a surge of defiance pushed it back.

"I'm fine," she mumbled, clutching the coffee cup tighter, as if it were a shield against the vulnerability threatening to spill out.

His gaze softened. "Can I...?" He gestured towards the empty seat opposite her.

Hesitantly, she nodded. The silence that followed stretched, thick with unspoken emotions. Finally, Yeosang spoke, his voice raspy.

"I... I saw you come in."

"Great," she muttered, sarcasm lacing her voice.

"Y/N," he started, his voice firm yet laced with a tremor, "that's not what I meant."

She looked up, meeting his gaze. The familiar warmth in his eyes, usually a source of solace, now sent a fresh wave of heartache through her.

"What did you mean, then?" she asked, her voice barely a whisper.

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Look, I know things haven't been good between us. But seeing you like this..." He trailed off, his frustration evident.

"Like what?" she challenged, a flicker of defiance igniting within her.

"Like you're breaking apart," he finished, his voice low and intense.

His words struck a chord deep within her. Was she breaking apart? Or was she already broken, the pieces scattered in the aftermath of their fractured relationship?

Tears welled up again, blurring his worried face. A shaky breath escaped her lips.

"Yeosang..." she began, her voice trembling.

The words wouldn't come. How could she express the tangled mess of emotions churning inside her? The regret, the longing, the lingering love that felt like a betrayal to her pride?

He seemed to understand her unspoken words. His hand reached out, hovering hesitantly near hers.

"Can I...?" he began, his voice barely a whisper.

Before he could finish, she reached out, her fingers brushing against his. The warmth of his touch sent a jolt through her, a spark igniting in the desolate landscape of her heart.

Hesitantly, he intertwined their fingers, his grip gentle yet firm. The familiar tingle that always accompanied his touch flooded back, a bittersweet reminder of what they had lost.

A tear escaped, tracing a glistening path down her cheek.

He brushed it away with his thumb, a gesture so tender it stole her breath.

"Y/N," he said, his voice thick with emotion, "let's talk. Properly this time."

The invitation hung in the air, a tentative bridge across the chasm that had grown between them. Could they truly rebuild what had been broken? The vulnerability in his eyes mirrored her own, and a sliver of hope, fragile as a spiderweb, began to spin in her chest.

"Here?" she whispered, gesturing to the brightly lit store filled with strangers.

He shook his head. "No. Not here. Let me take you somewhere."

The suggestion sent a tremor through her. Was this a step towards reconciliation, or simply a painful reminder of what they could no longer have? Uncertainty gnawed at her, but the yearning in his gaze outweighed her fear.

With a silent nod, she allowed him to lead her out of the store, the rain still drumming a relentless rhythm against the pavement. He ushered her into his car, a familiar warmth emanating from the worn leather seats.

As he drove, the city lights blurred into streaks of neon. The silence was heavy, punctuated only by the rhythmic swish of the wipers. She stole a glance at his profile, the familiar set of his jaw clenched tight.

"Where are we going?" she finally broke the silence, her voice barely a whisper.

He hesitated for a moment before answering. "There's this place, by the river. We used to go there all the time."

A bittersweet smile touched her lips. The riverbank. A place where stolen kisses tasted like stolen moments, and whispered promises echoed under the starlit sky. A place where their love had bloomed, vibrant and carefree.

They arrived just as the rain began to ease. The air was thick with the scent of petrichor, a reminder of new beginnings. He led her down a familiar path, past the willow tree where they'd carved their initials, now partially obscured by moss.

Reaching a clearing, they stopped. The river glistened under the pale moonlight, reflecting the city lights in a million shimmering fragments. The sight, once a source of solace, now mirrored the fragmented state of their relationship.

He turned to face her, his eyes searching hers. "This is where I wanted to tell you," he began, his voice low and strained.

"Tell me what?" she prompted, her heart hammering against her ribs.

He took a deep breath. "The real reason we fought. The reason I..." He faltered, frustration flickering across his face.

Y/N reached out, her hand hovering in the air before settling on his arm. The touch seemed to steady him.

"You can tell me," she whispered, her voice laced with a newfound determination. They owed it to each other, to their love, to at least try.

Yeosang's shoulders slumped, the weight of his confession pressing down on him. "It was stupid, really," he muttered, his voice barely audible.

"Nothing you say could be stupid after what we just went through," Y/N countered gently.

He looked up, his eyes searching hers for a flicker of judgment. "It was my insecurity. You were getting this promotion, this amazing opportunity, and I..." shame colored his cheeks, "I felt like I was shrinking next to you."

A gasp escaped Y/N's lips. The fights, the accusations, the harsh words they'd thrown at each other – it all started to make a horrifying kind of sense.

"You pushed me away because you thought I was leaving you behind?" she whispered, her voice thick with a mix of hurt and understanding.

Yeosang nodded, a single tear tracing a path down his cheek. "I convinced myself you wouldn't want to be with someone who couldn't keep up. I was scared, Y/N. Scared of losing you."

The revelation hung heavy in the air, a tangled knot of emotions tightening around Y/N's heart. Here, under the pale moonlight reflecting on the river, the truth laid bare. Their love, fractured but not broken, lay exposed.

"Yeosang," she began, her voice trembling slightly, "my promotion wasn't about leaving you behind. It was about building a future with you. A future where we both could grow and support each other."

He looked at her, a flicker of hope igniting in his eyes. "Do you... do you mean that?"

Tears welled up in her eyes again, but this time, they were tinged with a glimmer of hope. "Yes," she choked out, reaching out and cupping his face in her hand.

Their gazes locked, a silent apology and a desperate plea for forgiveness hanging between them. The weight of unspoken words threatened to drown them, but a single tear slipping down Y/N's cheek shattered the dam.

"But why, Yeosang?" she whispered, her voice trembling. "Why didn't you say anything? Why did you let it fester until everything exploded?"

He flinched at the raw pain in her voice. "I... I was scared," he admitted, his voice barely a rasp. "Scared of being a burden, of holding you back. I thought pushing you away was the right thing to do, even if it meant losing you."

The anger that had simmered within her began to melt away, replaced by a profound sadness. "But you weren't holding me back," she said softly. "You were my biggest supporter. My cheerleader. You would have been proud of me."

He shook his head, his eyes filled with regret. "I convinced myself I wouldn't be. That you'd be better off without me."

A silence descended upon them, broken only by the gentle murmur of the river. Y/N closed her eyes, picturing their past: stolen glances across crowded rooms, whispered secrets under starry skies, and the comforting weight of his arm around her on countless rainy days. The thought of letting all that go was unbearable.

Taking a deep breath, she reached out and cupped his cheek, her thumb gently tracing the outline of his jaw. "Yeosang," she said, her voice firm yet filled with tenderness, "we can fix this. But it's going to take work. We need to rebuild trust, communicate better, and most importantly, believe in each other."

He met her gaze, a flicker of hope battling the remnants of fear in his eyes. "Do you think we can?"

A small smile graced her lips. "I don't know," she admitted honestly, "but I'm willing to try. Are you?"

The answer came in the way his eyes lit up, a spark of determination replacing the doubt. He leaned in, his forehead resting against hers, their breaths mingling in the cool night air.

"More than anything," he murmured.

Their moment of reconciliation felt like a fragile bubble in the vast expanse of uncertainty that surrounded them. But for now, it was enough. It was a glimmer of hope amidst the darkness that had threatened to consume them both.

As they stood there, forehead to forehead, a sense of peace settled over Y/N. The weight that had been pressing down on her chest lifted, replaced by a tentative optimism for the future. She knew that rebuilding their relationship wouldn't be easy. It would require patience, understanding, and a willingness to confront their fears and insecurities head-on. But she also knew that their love was worth fighting for.

Slowly, they pulled away from each other, their hands still intertwined as they sat down on the grass by the riverbank. The moon hung low in the sky, casting a soft, ethereal glow over their surroundings. It felt like a scene from a dream – surreal yet achingly beautiful.

Y/N leaned back, her eyes tracing the patterns of stars scattered across the night sky. Beside her, Yeosang mirrored her movements, his presence a comforting anchor in the vastness of the universe. For a moment, they simply sat in silence, content to bask in each other's company.

Eventually, Yeosang spoke, his voice breaking the stillness of the night. "Do you remember the first time we came here?"

Y/N smiled, a fondness tugging at the corners of her lips. "Of course I do. It was our third date, and you insisted on bringing a picnic basket filled with sandwiches and fruit."

He chuckled, the sound music to her ears. "I wanted to impress you," he admitted sheepishly.

"Well, you certainly did," she replied, nudging him playfully with her shoulder.

They fell into easy conversation, reminiscing about their shared memories and inside jokes. It felt like a weight had been lifted off their shoulders, the tension that had once hung between them dissipating with each passing moment.

As the night wore on, they found themselves opening up to each other in ways they hadn't before. They talked about their hopes and dreams, their fears and insecurities. It was a cathartic experience, a chance to lay bare their souls and rebuild the foundation of their relationship from the ground up.

The hours slipped by unnoticed, the moon making its slow journey across the sky as they sat by the riverbank, wrapped up in each other's words and presence. The air was thick with the scent of rain and damp earth, a tangible reminder of the storms they had weathered and the new beginnings that lay ahead.

As dawn approached, painting the horizon in hues of pink and gold, Y/N felt a sense of peace settle over her. The night had been a revelation, a chance to confront the ghosts of their past and lay them to rest. She glanced at Yeosang, his profile bathed in the soft light of dawn, and felt a surge of gratitude for the man sitting beside her.

"We should probably head back," Yeosang said, breaking the comfortable silence that had settled between them.

Y/N nodded, reluctantly tearing her gaze away from the tranquil scene before them. "Yeah, we should."

They rose to their feet, stretching their stiff limbs as they prepared to leave the riverbank behind. Y/N took one last look at the water, the memories of their past mingling with the promise of their future.

As they made their way back to the car, Y/N felt a sense of anticipation building within her. The road ahead was uncertain, fraught with challenges and obstacles they would need to overcome. But for the first time in months, she felt hopeful. They had weathered the storm, and now, they were ready to face whatever lay ahead – together.

The drive back to the city was quiet, the air heavy with unspoken words and the weight of their shared history. But there was a newfound sense of peace between them, a tentative truce born from the ashes of their past mistakes.

When they arrived back at Y/N's apartment, the sun had fully risen, casting the city in a warm, golden glow. They lingered in the car for a moment, reluctant to break the fragile bubble of intimacy that had enveloped them throughout the night.

"Thank you," Y/N said softly, breaking the silence that had settled between them.

Yeosang turned to face her, his eyes soft with emotion. "For what?"

"For tonight," she replied, her voice barely a whisper. "For being honest with me, for giving us another chance."

He reached out, taking her hand in his. "I should be the one thanking you," he said, his voice thick with emotion. "For giving me a second chance, for believing in us when I couldn't."

They sat in silence for a moment, their hands intertwined as they savored the quiet intimacy of the moment. The past was behind them, and the future stretched out before them like an open road, full of endless possibilities.

With a reluctant sigh, Y/N finally broke the silence. "I should probably go inside," she said, reluctantly pulling away from Yeosang's touch.

He nodded, his eyes lingering on her face. "Yeah, I guess so."

As Y/N climbed out of the car, she turned to face Yeosang one last time. "I'll see you soon?" she asked, a note of uncertainty creeping into her voice.

He smiled, a warm, genuine smile that reached his eyes. "Count on it."

With a final wave, Y/N turned and made her way into the apartment building, her heart light with hope and anticipation. The road ahead would be long and difficult, but for the first time in months, she felt ready to face it – with Yeosang by her side.

Inside her apartment, Y/N collapsed onto the couch, her mind buzzing with thoughts and emotions. The events of the night replayed in her mind like a movie, each moment etched into her memory with startling clarity.

In the days and weeks that followed, Y/N and Yeosang worked tirelessly to rebuild their relationship. They talked openly and honestly about their fears and insecurities, laying bare their souls in a way they never had before.

It wasn't easy – there were arguments and misunderstandings, moments of doubt and uncertainty. But through it all, they remained steadfast in their commitment to each other, their love serving as an anchor in the tumult of their lives.

Slowly but surely, they began to heal – individually and as a couple. They learned to communicate more effectively, to listen with open hearts and minds. They laughed together, cried together, and grew together, forging a bond that was stronger than ever before.

And as the days turned into weeks, and the weeks turned into months, Y/N and Yeosang found themselves falling in love all over again. It was a love born not out of passion or desire, but out of mutual respect, understanding, and forgiveness.

They knew that their journey was far from over – that there would be more challenges and obstacles to overcome in the future. But they also knew that as long as they had each other, they could weather any storm that came their way.

And so, hand in hand, they walked into the future – a future filled with endless possibilities, boundless love, and the promise of forever.

#hongrizoon #ateez #hongrizoon writes #ateez fanfic #ateez scenarios #ateez fic #kang yeosang #ateez yeosang #yeosang #idk how to feel about this.. #i need sleep stg #im so tired #gfehasdbfabf #i want to cry so bad #Spotify