#general haze of many of these memories being in very weird and bad mental states

[simonstamenovic]

word of god is bad except when its gay or funny

#outgoing transmission #sanderson is a funny little guy you write 2million words then go on line and make posts about the words u couldnt fit #anyway staring at the adolin trivia WHYYY did he FUCKING say that #also trying not to idk wallow in weird panic attack memorie #s. #started writing one down but it was like. idk. jumping around too much to be understandable #like mid LI then to after LI where maya is helping me Just Exist #idk to the degree though? like ik logically she wasnt controlling me or anything and i Hate that feeling anyway #so it would not be so. comforting i suppose were that the case. but a Little more than just telling me what to do i guess? #more sustained. like. idk <33 i am so tired and the fuzz of my brain from that mixes w the umm #general haze of many of these memories being in very weird and bad mental states #also thinking about kal. humiliating for him to... see me like that #i wasnt mad at maya and/or syl or anything but very mad at myself for a bit. #which wasnt productive or helpful but yk. being vulnerable about that sort of thing sucked #adolin post #didn t mean to mem talk so much here my bad