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messenger-of-stupidity · 9 months

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NAH NAH NAH

Okay. Let's go through the thoughts of this latest update. There's a lot so buckle up buttercup.

1. Kravitas is literally so based. He's willing to spare Albus the suffering of long travel just because he's bored when typically he would enjoy Albus suffering.

2. Only Albus would risk insanity to spite a demon. Ever heard of cutting off your nose to spite your face, Albus? Seriously, these dude shot himself out of a fucking canon to stop Devlin from touching this hella cursed sword, but in typical Albus fashion when it's his safety and emotional welfare at stake common sense flies out the gods be damned window.

4. Is Kravitas really a demon or was his statement last episode about being more than that the truth that Albus just chose to call bullshit on?

5. Kerano, sweetie, if you don't like the sweater you don't gotta be nice to me and lie. Tis okay

6. Dad is back with his video of a casual demon attack. A normal Thursday. You'd think violence could slow enough for Faithful to get some groceries but I guess not.

7. AN ADULT TALK? EXCUSE ME? also yes now shoo child.

8. Guess I'll just go in a bunker and braid some hair or some shit. Whatever.

9. Don't you love it when the father figure of your child is so obsessed with transformers that he turns into a robot? (Yes I know he didn't turn into a robot. It just sounded kind of robotic in my head and it was funny.

10. What's the song called? It was kind of a vibe.

11. Oh my God we're raising a menace, thief, AND a liar. Where did we go wrong? 😭 Also can Faithful read minds? She was able to hear Kerano's mind about a key or something before Kerano had it, and was able to read the thoughts after that.

12. Move aside, Faithful is coming through like a badass. Hold the child

13. Oh neat. Both Albus and I have yelling voices in our head. 🥲

14. "I AM THE GREATEST GOOD YOURE EVER GONNA GET" - Faithful 2023

15. IS HE CUTTING OFF HIS HAND?! KERANO LOOK AWAY

16. Are... Are you seriously gonna make me choose between my two husbands right now? WHERES MY POLY OPTION? (Albus and Devlin in strictly familial relationship with each other. No condoning incest here)

-Branch-

Albus Route:

- yeah u tell him Devlin! How dare he try to reject us after saying it was our choice. Bitch

- UH I UH UHM ER

- daddy? Sorry. Daddy? Sorry. Daddy? Sorry

- HOW MANY ROUNDS? Albus let her BREATHE before you fuck her to death omg

- I thought we became a bio mom to half demon children. But nah turns out we became a slutty saint

- YOOOO another thing in common with Albus! We both don't like kids. For different reasons but the point still remains

- Awww. He misses Devlin.

- Kerano is wholesome but I ain't forgiving her for snatching that key

- wait does anyone remember when he said he wouldnt tap faithful with a ten foot pole? Does that mean he tapped her with an eleven foot pole to stay true to his word?

- Devlin Route -

- that's what your brother said to me in an alternate reality when I chose him too.

- Albus back with the orgies. My angsty brain McThinks it's some copium since that's his whole "nothing hurts me!" Mask

- "HES A ROCKIN SPACE AGE BACHELOR MAN" I hope he gets his dream of being a monsterfucker

- Faithful got that holy rizz sheeeeeeesh

- astrology 🥰

- wait nevermind. Just some brotherly love

- you can call me darling any day of the week baby. I am living for it.

- Awww starry kiss. 🥹

Update: I keep forgetting there's a high chance that GBA will see this... BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?! I STAND BY WHAT I SAID (/lh) 😤😤😤

Update #2: for those asking about the third route thoughts, that's a secret that I'm saving for a fic.

#messy rambles #good boy audios #gba devlin #gba albus #gba faithful #gba kerano #gba kravitas #gba #gba bastard warrior

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piffany666 · 8 months

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GBA characters as hellsing abriged quotes:

Yargwin: yellow?~

Lyr: what did you do?

Yargwin: alright...but you can't be mad at me

Lyr: what. Did. You. Do?

Yargwin: ok first...I was minding my own business-

Lry: bullsh*t!

Yargwin: I wassss!

(This could also apply to albus and Faithful)

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Brother koria: serve the Lord with fear and rejoice with trembling

Albus: you got me a present?!

_________________________________________

Faithful: I'd like to talk to you about some important gests coming this evening

Albus: are they hookers?

Faithful: no

Albus: and like that you've lost me

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Albus: like what?

Faithful: property damage,

Albus: good times~

Faithful: dozens of noise complaints,

Albus talking over screaming and music: sorry I can't hear you!~

Faithful: killing innocent civilians,

Albus: oh so did mortalis and he got a f*king animatic for it!

Faithful: AND all the sexual harassment

Albus:.....I'm not apologising

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Devlin: what...

Albus: what?

Devlin: what. Do. I. Need. To. Give. You. To keep you down here for the evening?

Albus: im going to need a new sword (and one for faithful)

Faithful: but I already have a gun...?

Albus: get this b*tch a cannon

✨ b*tches love canons!✨

_________________________________________

Kravitas: I dot give a sh*t~ I don't give a f*k~ I don't give a sh*t and I don't give a f*k~ now if I give a sh*t I might just give a f*k...but I don't give a sh*t do I don't give a-

Albus literally dose anything*

Kravitas: F*K WAS THAT!?

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Devlin: sister! I apologise I tried to stop him but when I pleaded with him he merely responded with and mind my French (no offence)-

Kravitas: some taken

Devlin: "f*k the police" he then proceeded to tilt every painting he passed on his way here

Albus: evil giggles*

Faithful: oh gods going through that hallway us going to give me such a headache now...

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Albus: dear brother koria,

I wanted to send you this friendly little letter to inform you of your✨ immanent demise ✨ if your curious about the frequency of these letters it is merely to instill as much fear as I can. 🧚‍♀️💖

As if basting a turkey which I will then proceed to have sex with.

That's right

I'm going to f*k the fear turkey!~

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Albus: hey guys how's your health plan?

Literally anyone who tries to hurt faithful exists*

Albus: APPARENTLY ITS GREAT!

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Makkaro talking to frank: what do you mean you forgot the song?

Ok ok screw it! Screw it! Just take my phone and hit random- no just hit random! Ok 3, 2

*b*tch by meradith Brooks starts playing as makkaro invades another city*

Yea- ok turn it off! trun it off...it didn't work

It. did. not. work

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Mirin: enough focusing on the past...instead lest focus on the past!

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Albus: ah the return of the "why boner"

WITH A VENGEANCE

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Makkaro talking about zed and mirin: how did they get in here?!

Darling: we had over a dozen guards!

Frank: those were ours?

I mean oh my god how did they get in here!?

_________________________________________

Faithful: where is albus!?

The whole feking universe: I killed him!

Faithful: killed him?

The whole feking universe: kut off his bloody head!

Faithful: oh...well thats step 1....

What about 2 through 10?

The whole feking universe: ah gods

Albus comes back as a demon:

You done goofed

The whole feking universe: how in the blood soaked bastard did you do that!?

Albus: f*k you that's how

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Makkaro naming all the places he's gonna invade:

frank: even the black site?

Darling: keep that

No one will deny what we did...

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Kravitas: by God's woman! Surrounded by monsters and demons armed literally to the teeth! And what do you do? You get off your f*king ship! Pull out albus's sword, cut off one of there heads and yell "come at me you crowd sh*ts!"

No wonder albus wants to plow that virgin soil! I'm thinking about growing some flowers myself!

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Korano: albus...?

Albus: go with mommy korano

Daddy's got work to do

Korano: am I your child in this scenario...?

Albus: korano our group relationship can best be described as tags. On. Porn. Hub now go!

Korano: fine "dad"

(You'll notice that a lot of these are bastard warrior based...wonder why? Anyway if any other hellsing fans want to chip in feel free!)

#good boy audios #goodboyaudiosmagicoftheheart #goodboyaudiosbastardwarrior #goodboyaudios #goodboyaudioslisteners #good boy audios magic of the heart #good boy audios space pirates saga #goodboyaudiosincorrectquotes #hellsing abridged

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