#g-d thats. yeah fuck no wonder my friends were insulted when i gave them a 6/10 for 'ppl i would talk to if i had issues'

[hearties-circus]

Oh g-d I've been withdrawing

#gamer txt. #i keep typong up posts and tags and delstinv them withoit thinking too much about it recentlu but k never usually dp that #theyve all been needy and attention seeking and thats why i was eriting them in the first place but thats ehy i keep deleting them #because i want attention #and that scares tge hell out of me #how bad do i have to be to be this desperate for some sort of contact yet this scared of losing everyone eho moght give it to me #why am u rhis scared of people thinking im annoying ive been feleting needy posts for months thats not . like me #even when im bad im usually better than that i dont. i dont understand ahy this is different #hell i relapsed a few months ago and i couldnt bring myself to even say i cut myself again outright bc i didnt want to be bother #since when the hell have i put up the illusion of being ok on this blog why am i so comcerned #are my trust issues really that bad? am i really that worried everyone who cares about me will fold the second i inconveniene them? #g-d thats. yeah fuck no wonder my friends were insulted when i gave them a 6/10 for 'ppl i would talk to if i had issues' #that is insulting #and whats worse is that its a lie #6/10 should be over half i should tell them my problems about half of the time #i dont do it. ever #and usually thats not too bad because i unload wverything here anyways but now ive stsrted stopping kyself frkm doi g thst #i want help and attention and to stop being so svared but im too scared to ask for those #i had to drag myself out of bed to make rhis post bc if i left it till morning i wouldnt do kt #also thats why all the typos btw no glssses its dark and i stsrted crying at some point #i dont know if its just how ive been feeling lateky or if theres some truth to it but i feel like my text posts have been getting seen less #im honestly kinda really twrrified im gonna wake up and no one will have seen this post and im just gonna pretend to be ok #bevause i would i think i would really just give up #i dont know what gl do #ive never been this scaredwithout a discernable cause before #ive stsrted cryung way harder andb u dont even know why #i think i think thats more or lees everything off my chest #im gonna try to sleep