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feminaexlux · 2 years

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Underneath (Pt 2/2) [Horizon: Forbidden West]

The ultimately weird part is, I have no idea why this took me 2 months to write. It was supposed to be cute and fun and the brain wasn't working. Anyway, I'm calling this done.

Read on AO3!

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When Aloy kissed him the first time, Kotallo thought it was an accident.

When she kissed him the second time, he was just in shock. Disbelieving. But he pulled her back in.

It was the third time that his primal instincts kicked in and he was on top of her, pressing his body down hard against hers so she’d be trapped writhing underneath him as he tasted her lips, her tongue, her neck. She hooked a leg over his hip and a hand raked over his back, the other hand pressing his head harder into herself as she loosed the moans he conjured with his mouth.

Mere minutes before that she had just woken up from a nightmare.

Half a day before that: last night after supper she had fallen asleep against him with his arm around her. He had idly wished he had pulled her in closer to him and kept her safe from the world. He had wished that her mind would let go of the burdens for a little time, while he was holding her. He had wished that she would let him protect her.

He had given what was left of his life to her.

Kotallo honestly wished she’d use his gift.

But he wouldn’t be in love with her if she hadn’t been Aloy.

⁂

(Earlier)

Instead of indulging in the fact that she had fallen asleep on him, he shifted carefully toward her bedroll and laid her gently down on it, removing the bulky pieces of armor that might cause discomfort. He covered her with her blanket, then jogged out into the nearby forest and whistled closer a pack of Watchers, stealthily overriding each with the spear he borrowed from Aloy (without permission, but he'd apologize later).

Three Watchers and the Sunwing had to be enough to patrol their tiny shelter. They had flown east after all, which was ostensibly tamer. He stood out in the rain looking back to the fire, glancing over at Aloy occasionally to see the steady rise and fall of her breathing. He knew she hadn’t slept well recently by the flush of her skin when he first saw her, by how she hadn’t noticed that he’d been thoroughly distracted all through their flight being so close to her, closer than he should have allowed himself to be.

She must have been dead tired on her feet, he was certain. He really shouldn’t have been testing the reactions of his Commander the way he did with his lingering touches but… well, he was a little selfish sometimes.

But this was still a failing. He was not going to rise above his station. His sentiments, his feelings, weren’t a burden he wanted to put on her. His duty was to aid her to the best of his abilities. She hadn’t needed his protection after all, but he was still a strong back, a swordsman, a second set of eyes.

The Anointed, the Champion, the Savior - and she still called herself "some Nora girl." She was fascinating indeed to slough off the praise, to undermine her own legend.

What was underneath those lofty titles was a woman who had been given a spear, bows, a resilient mind, a overwhelming legacy, and used those weapons to save everything and everyone she could. His love was worthless if she failed her mission. He kept that love to himself, even if Hekarro had admitted to Aloy that Kotallo was lost as a Marshal since the day Regalla was rebuffed from the Kulrut.

It was utterly obvious now that he’d been afraid of her and hiding behind duty like Tekotteh had hidden behind the Bulwark. But what could he do about it anyway?

He took off his chest armor, pauldron, and headpiece and placed them under the shelter to dry. He washed off his paints in the stream as they had gotten blotted and tacky from the rain. He stayed up a few hours reading through Old World history, trying to grasp just how much raw might and power the ancient ones had access to before that same might and power swallowed everyone whole. His eyelids soon felt heavy and he let himself doze, knowing that the Watchers and the Sunwing would keep them safe for a little while. He was a light sleeper anyway, his senses always sharp. It was what made him such a valuable warrior to Tekotteh, and later Hekarro. Later still, and most importantly, to Aloy.

Kotallo wouldn’t wake her for her watch. Aloy being able to rest was more important than anything.

He woke upon hearing Aloy mumbling. He turned to her to make sure she was well, but what he saw worried him: how terrified she looked as her unintelligible whispers worked their way through her lips. Sleep had seemed agitated for her, beads of sweat on her brow and the blanket furled tight into her fists. She had been running full tilt at strategies to deal with the nigh insurmountable threat that was Nemesis, though she couldn’t quantify any progress and it frustrated her to no end.

She’d told him about it. She'd told every one of their motley crew about it. He was surprised that she still cared about this final embassy. Or that she remembered him at all, with all that was happening.

Her whispered words came out faster, more urgently. She stirred under her bedding, deeper lines etched onto her brow, pale and sweating and in distress. Out of the words that she breathed out, Kotallo only understood one that kept repeating. “No, no, no, no no no no no,” she panted.

He had had enough. His commander did not need to suffer this way. “Aloy” he called out, hesitating to touch her as he sat up. “Aloy” he said more firmly, finally reaching out and squeezing her hand. She batted him away at first but then latched onto his forearm in a panicked vice grip, her eyes still screwed shut. “Aloy, please wake up.”

She blinked, her eyes still clouded by remnants of her nightmare. She squinted up at him, confused, still gripping his arm. He was about to speak and ask if she was alright when she sat up and placed both her hands on his face to look into his eyes. Something softened in her gaze and he forgot to say anything at all. “Your eyes… they’re so… is it you, Kotallo?”

The paints and armor. She’d never seen him without his paints and armor. He smiled. “Yes, I’m here.”

She looked utterly relieved and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, pressing her cheek against his neck. “Don’t go. Don’t leave me, don’t leave me alone.” she pleaded. Was she still dreaming? She couldn’t still be dreaming.

His face felt hot, hotter than could be explained by the fire. It was worse knowing he was without the face paint he usually wore. Dekka had told him once that he was "expressive beyond spoken words", but he thought he had more control over himself than this. “I won’t abandon you on your mission.” he answered.

She pulled back, a look of chagrin on her face after remembering where she was. She still left her hands on his shoulders. Not that he minded. "Is it because I’m your 'commander?' You know this isn’t an order, you don’t have to–"

“No,” Kotallo interrupted. “I make the choice to follow you. Go wherever you need me, do whatever is needed,” he clarified. He was repeating his pledge at the Grove, but if he said anything more it would be dangerous.

She pulled back further, dropping her hands to her sides and he found himself missing her touch already. “Thanks. I think I needed to hear that,” she smiled, but something seemed… broken. Her smile was not wholly genuine, as sad as she still seemed, and as small as she made herself.

It was painfully evident that he hadn’t said the right thing.

On a whim he held out his hand to her and she cautiously placed her hand in his. Her hand was delicate and fine, so small and soft in comparison to his: large, rough, calloused, and worked harder for missing its mirror.

“Forgive me. Those were not the right words. Truth be told, the mission is not the reason I’m here. Your rank does not compel me to act. What matters most to me is to be by your side.” He looked down at her hand and squeezed it gently, unable to look up at her eyes.

“Well, okay,” she breathed out. He thought it was his wishful thinking that made her sound curious instead of angry or appalled. He still couldn’t meet her eyes. “That almost sounded… romantic. Did you mean it like that?” she asked. She still didn’t sound angry, which was… confusing.

Step back, he thought at himself, letting go of her hand. Moving forward would be too great a risk. “I… don’t know–”

"Then maybe you can help me understand something,” she said, an edge of frustration in her voice. He had been avoiding looking at her like the coward he was but the way she sounded exhausted gave him pause. He finally looked up into her eyes. She was on the verge of tears and his shock hit him like a physical blow, making him flinch. “Just… keep in mind that I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know what I’m thinking, and you have to tell me if I’m being crazy or stupid. The problem is I keep hearing the things you say and reading more into them because I think I… I’m in love with you. I need you to tell me if you don’t like me like that.”

He swallowed hard, his throat feeling almost too constricted to let anything through. His heart was beating fast, the pulses thrumming through his body and nearly drowning all sounds against the torrent. Even with the drumming against his ears he heard Zo's voice from a poignant memory.

"Tell her, you fool." Zo had sighed at him. "You two are the bravest cowards I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. Your loyalty to Aloy speaks volumes, but you'll discover that burying your feelings in the Earth will grow weeds of resentment instead of the healthy, thriving relationship you both deserve. At least give her the choice of rejecting you before she crumbles under the weight of her tasks and is lost to us forever." Zo's voice had faltered at the end, her hand on her belly.

Never had he thought he'd take advice from an Utaru, but Zo seemed singularly wise. Particularly when it might not be a rejection as he feared. "No," he finally said. He watched Aloy flush in embarrassment and nod her acceptance, turning away from him. "I do like you like that. More than like. I was called a 'dumb tree' for never telling you of my interest, though I believed… I would not be welcome."

Aloy paused, sighed, and then frowned looking irritated. That was evidently also not the right thing to say. His anxiety spiked again as she drew her knees under her and made to stand up. Kotallo turned to give her room and then felt her lips at the corner of his mouth.

He blinked in surprise. "Wh--"

Aloy took his hand and pulled him back toward her, cupping his face with her other hand and pressing a harder kiss against his lips. "Is this 'welcome' enough?"

Champion. Savior. Anointed. None of that mattered. Aloy just kissed him. Twice, even. And he was stunned speechless.

Good thing he didn't need words for this. He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her in. He did then what he had been idly dreaming about for months and pinned her down beneath him, kissing her back and more with this realized fantasy. He got lost in this indulgence, though still hyper aware of all her reactions so he wouldn't push too far. Aloy was surprisingly willing, her legs crossed over his waist, her mouth capturing his whenever she had the chance.

There was a ping from his Focus that he barely heard as he kissed down her neck. Sylens' voice came through, stopping Kotallo in his tracks as abruptly as if he was splashed with chillwater. "Aloy, had I known about your intentions to seduce Hekarro's most trusted Marshal and literal right hand man, I would never have bothered with Regalla. I could have moved up my timetable considerably. Do think about the consequences of dallying about like you are when the world is at stake." Why… was the cryptic asshole addressing Aloy over Kotallo's Focus? Unless… Sylens was addressing them both at the same time.

Aloy inhaled sharply. "Sy--"

Chaos cut her off. It sounded like someone spat out their drink and choked, the sound electrically garbled over the Focus. There was a blue-purple overlay of all of their companions staring at Kotallo and Aloy through their own Focuses. Sylens was broadcasting to everyone at the same time.

"Oh no," Zo sighed.

Erend was yelling. "FIRE AND SPIT is that why you're delayed?"

Alva covered her mouth but a high pitched giddy squeal leaked from under her hands.

Beta was screeching, one arm covered her eyes while the other was flailing. "OH MY GOD ALOY GROSS!"

Kotallo reluctantly sat up and pulled off his Focus, putting it away somewhere. Aloy rolled to her side away from him and covered her face with his blanket. "That was… unexpected," he said dryly.

"GAIA, please revoke Sylens' access to our internal network," Aloy muttered underneath the blanket. "Or at least restrict access since he says he's so obviously crucial to our planet's survival." She pulled off the cover from her face. "Except I haven't seen anything come out of this stupid arrangement." A moment later she pulled off her own Focus, tossing it into a corner of the shelter.

"Aloy--" Kotallo started but she cut him off.

"Don't! Don't say anything. I'm going to go… I'm gonna go kill something right now. Maybe Sylens." Kotallo reached out and touched her elbow and Aloy was startled. She turned to face him. "What?!" She yelled at him. He knew her yelling was out of panic rather than anger.

He raised his eyebrows still. "You asked me to not say anything. But I do need to speak." Aloy sighed and sat up again, nodding at him. "I don't know to what purpose Sylens intends in embarrassing either of us. Whatever that is, it does not change what I feel. I can only hope the same for you."

"Yeah, that certainly wasn't how I expected things to go," she huffed, looking into his eyes. "But I still want... this. If anything I just want to keep kissing you to spite Sylens more."

He couldn't help cracking a smile. "Then perhaps I should thank him," he chuckled. He reached out and placed his arm around her waist, drawing her into his lap again. "I look forward to your spiting Sylens time and time again."

She laughed, wrapping her arms around his shoulders again. She pressed her forehead to his. "I... I like this, but--" She stopped short of continuing. "No. No. I'm not going to let that worm make me doubt myself. Not again."

"Good. I have a vested interest in having you be sure of 'this.' And more, if you're willing."

Aloy pulled back a little to look at him. "I'm in for 'more.' I think I'm in for everything."

"Everything, hmm?"

She raised her eyebrows a notch. "I can handle it. Try me."

⁂

(Later In Meridian)

"Is it just my old eyes or is the Savior perhaps walking a little strange?" Marad commented quietly to his companions. Both Talanah and Erend burst out in laughter. Again.

"By the damned forge, man, you just can't -- ah blast it Talanah shut it -- your face! You're making me laugh--" Erend gasped, having difficulty breathing in between his guffaws. "My sides," he wheezed, his arms wrapped around himself as he doubled over.

Talanah was brushing aside tears of mirth from the corners of her eyes. "Ahhh, my Thrush has… has said that she--she's sore from riding all day," Talanah nearly screeched out. "Riding 'the Sunwing,' she said."

"I see," Marad said evenly. "And you two are implying the Savior has been involved with another type of mount."

Erend laughed again and bellowed out "Blast it Marad! Blast you straight to HELL! 'Blameless' my ass. You flamin' heap of scrap, you're just as bad if not worse than Vanasha or this one." He pointed at Talanah with an accusing finger.

"Sure, Aloy's said nothing about that Behemoth of a man she brought from the West," Talanah said, her voice still slightly shrill. "But that Tenakth Marshal's the 'mount involved' with the Savior, that's for certain." Talanah took a deep breath and sighed. "Reach whatever conclusions you need to, Marad. Sun and Shadows, I haven't had a laugh like this in years."

Marad sighed. "Leave it to the Savior of Meridian to bridge East and West by aiming straight at the Tenakth and foregoing the Sundom entirely."

#fxl fic #fxl hfw #kotaloy #aloy x kotallo #kotallo #aloy #sylens #zo #erend #alva #beta #talanah #marad #harley asked for spice and I instead gave comedy #whoop

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feminaexlux · 2 years

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Underneath (Pt. 1 / 2?)

Okay so just to clarify I'm pinning Kotallo's age down at 27 and yes I know Aloy is 20 but she carries the weight of the entire world on her shoulders and acts as if she's twice her age a lot of the time so she's a Cougar in spirit in this fic. Girl can get it from her local sassy beefcake sweetheart yanno what I'm sayin'

Quick shoutout to my beta @vanorablogs 🧡

This is largely the same snippet as before but there's more text underneath I swear

Read on AO3

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"By the Ten," he breathed out. Kotallo grabbed onto Aloy's proffered arm and hauled himself behind her on the Sunwing with her assistance. "You sure this... machine won't attempt to shake us off when we are in flight?"

She snorted. "You've got nothing to worry about, Marshal. I've got it. I thought you trusted me?"

"With my life. It is why I'm on here," he said, his voice low.

"Good. Hold onto me. The takeoff is a bit rough but that's the price we pay for air travel. Chief Hekarro!" Aloy called out, performing a tiny salute to the Tenakth chieftain atop her Sunwing. "I'll have to borrow your best Marshal again, sorry!"

"He is no longer mine to lend, Aloy," Hekarro said back in his deep dulcet voice, smiling up at them. "I borrow him from you, Champion."

"What is he talking about?" Aloy asked Kotallo under her breath. She didn't need to speak above a whisper since Kotallo was right behind her.

"Hmm," Kotallo answered in his usual way, non-committal. It almost sounded embarrassed, but Aloy doubted the grumbly Marshal behind her knew anything of embarrassment.

"O... kay then," Aloy chuckled. "Let's go!" The Sunwing reared onto its legs and Aloy hunched forward to brace and keep her head level, but she wasn't expecting that a man easily twice her weight was using her as a brace on their ride. "Oof," she grunted, feeling the air get squeezed out of her as his arm pressed into her midsection.

"Sorry," Kotallo gritted out. She could feel his legs strain trying to wrap harder around the Sunwing's plated exterior and easing off some of the pressure he was putting on her with his single arm by grabbing at the Sunwing plates in front of her. He managed to grab the ridge of plate right in front of her crotch. "Sorry," he said again, half-chuckling.

"It's fine," she hissed out, a blush rising to her cheeks. "Just... need... to--" Finally the Sunwing got enough lift. It beat its wings down and after a couple of intense seconds climbing at a steep incline Aloy leveled out the beast. "Whew," she breathed out, Kotallo's arm settling more comfortably against her stomach. "I didn't expect how hard that was. I need to get used to how additional passengers affect takeoff."

"You... have not done this with the others?"

"No, you're the first. I thought you might enjoy it," Aloy grinned, though she wasn't certain Kotallo could see. "Seeing as you were inspired the last time I flew one?"

"It is an honor," he said, his voice sounding awed. Aloy's smile widened. It was too bad she couldn't see his expression, she thought. His little smile would have been a treat.

"And now that we're alone, you mind telling me what the Chief meant?" She knew she had him as a captive audience and he knew she never backed down. It wasn't a surprise when she felt more than heard him sigh behind her. Several months with the terse Tenakth Marshal had allowed her to understand and enjoy these wordless exchanges more than she thought she would. He was expressive in his own quiet way.

It meant he didn't choose his words lightly. "Chief Hekarro understands your mission to save the world. It is no easy task to take on by a single warrior. Even if you won't ask for it, you need all the help you can get," Kotallo said, lightly teasing. "So I am here. With you. Until the end."

She smiled again, still hidden from him. "So you are." Aloy banked the Sunwing around a mountain range, taking on more altitude. Going too high would make the air harder to breathe and skimming too close to the land would only attract trouble, so she had to balance the reach of any cannon shots and human comfort. It felt wonderful to fly without worries and have the wind pass through her hair, though she idly worried that her hair would be buffeting Kotallo in the face. "Are you alright back there?"

"It is... more than acceptable," he said simply. She rolled her eyes. "Thank you. For bringing me with you. For letting me fly." He sounded sincere. He always sounded sincere because he was, when he wasn't teasing her. It was his best trait. She loved that.

And ultimately she didn't mind the teasing either.

"We'll see if you're still thankful after we get to Meridian," Aloy mused. "I get sore after riding for a couple of hours." She felt a soft snort behind her. What was funny about that? "But thank you, Kotallo. Establishing the embassy was important for Tenakth and Carja both. And now it should be easier since Regalla won't be there to interrupt."

"And I will be meeting this Sun-King Avad himself?"

"More or less. Me and Erend have already vouched for you since you're Hekarro's envoy, and one that was at the original embassy. You'll need to talk official things with Avad but I think that's it."

"I won't be held captive for five years, will I? I remember Marshal Fashav had agreed to those terms."

"I don't think so... but if that does happen we still have the Sunwing to make our escape. If I never have to step foot in Meridian again it will be too soon. But try not to have any diplomatic incidents."

"Hmm," he grunted, sounding amused. Aloy was continually surprised at how much Kotallo could convey with just one hum. "For you I will try." Aloy smiled to herself again. "I should ask, this has nothing to do with Nemesis, does it?"

It was her turn to sigh. "No. But this is a problem that can be solved."

He didn't say anything for a few heartbeats. "Of course." He hugged her a little tighter and relaxed his hold. A comforting gesture, Aloy thought. It was nice. They fell into a comfortable silence.

Aloy wasn't sure when it started but her little squad at the base had given her the gift of touch. Varl had rested his hand on her shoulder. Zo had embraced her. Erend had drawn her up in his crushing hug. Alva had sometimes reached out to grab Aloy's hands when she was excitedly explaining things. Beta herself had run up to give Aloy a hug after she was freed from the launch tower.

Far Zenith were gone forever. But so too was Varl.

The remaining squad had each other and they reminded Aloy through their touches. Except for Kotallo, who gave his touches more sparingly than his words. That made it more meaningful in a way. She was soaking up what she could get with his arm against her stomach and his chest against her back. He was warm and solid and here and those experiences meant more to her than she knew.

She tried not to think about how much she was enjoying this.

And she tried not to think about how she could have just taught him the override to get his own Sunwing. A tide of guilt rose up in her and she put it on her mental to-do list. He'd get his own. She owed him that for all that he'd done. She'll help him catch one when they got back to the base.

She got a notice on her Focus that the Sunwing's battery was running low. Oh. Right. Extra weight meant extra load on the battery. And there was 3 times the usual riding weight. Whoops. She spotted a nearby fire pit with a basic shelter and turned toward it. "Sunwing's running low on power, we'll need to camp for the night."

Kotallo gave a grunt of acknowledgement. As they were coming down and the Sunwing reared up to land on its legs, Kotallo grabbed the ridge plate in front of Aloy again. Again she blushed at how close his hand was to... a place, but wasn't like he had much choice in the matter and she didn't have to think about it too long.

Aloy landed the Sunwing and tapped on her focus, connecting out to Erend. "Hey, slight delay, we ran down the battery on the Sunwing. It should be recharged tomorrow afternoon."

"Oh, hey Aloy. Alright," said Erend, sounding slightly surprised. "Still faster than on foot so no worries. We'll see you when we see you, then."

"What was your original estimate for reaching Meridian?" Kotallo asked after dismounting from the Sunwing. He reached out his arm in an offer to help Aloy down.

She smiled a little and grabbed his arm, letting him guide her to her feet. "I figured it was half a day of riding. We'll only be late by one day." There was a distant clap of thunder and Aloy sensed the change in air pressure of incoming rain. "And it sounds like we got to shelter in time. I hate flying through storms."

"To travel by sky and soar over mountains, crossing vast distances in a single day. I have lived as one of the Ten. I will never stop feeling blessed." He chuckled softly. "Tonight I'll hunt for dinner. Will you set camp?" Kotallo asked.

Belatedly Aloy realized she was still holding onto his arm. She let go immediately. What was wrong with her? "Yeah, sounds good, thanks," she said, feeling mildly embarrassed. Aloy took their bags and placed down the bedrolls under the shelter. She lit a fire with blaze and foraged nearby, filling their water-skins with fresh water from a nearby stream.

Kotallo was already there when Aloy came back to camp. They sat down next to each other in front of the fire, having a simple meal together with the turkey he caught and the fruits she found in their comfortable silence. The rain came in soon after and the fire sputtered but blaze kept it lit.

"What is Meridian like?" Kotallo asked after they finished cleaning up, surprising Aloy a little. She assumed he hadn't really cared at all with it being the Carja capital.

"It's… crowded," she replied, feeling the chill settling in around her as the rain came down around their shelter. "It's a big city. I guess it's pretty? There are people everywhere, mostly Carja but also a lot of Oseram. And too many petty Carja nobles who think they're better than you."

"You saved their kingdom and they still think they're better than you?"

"Some Nora girl stopping Deathbringers and Corruptors from razing their city doesn't fundamentally change how they look at outlanders."

He frowned. "I suppose I understand that. Perhaps there's some similarities with the Tenakth."

"All tribes are like that," Aloy shrugged. "And that's why I need this embassy to happen. We'll need everyone working together to have a chance against Nemesis." She sighed and hung her head, feeling exhausted.

"I will be on my best behavior," Kotallo said, adding a little humor and nudging her with his shoulder. "Be charming. Witty. Noble."

Aloy looked back up at him with a smirk. "I need you to talk with Avad, not sleep with him."

"What a union that would make. The esteemed Sun-King Avad taking a Tenakth barbarian to bed? Bawdy drinking songs would be sung for generations to come."

"Stop that," she laughed, slapping his right shoulder. "And you're no barbarian."

"I may be charismatic but I doubt I'd be appealing to the Sun-King nonetheless."

"Well, he does seem to like people who could snap him in half," Aloy said absently.

"You know of his interests?" Kotallo asked, raising an eyebrow.

"He uh… was in love with Ersa, Erend's sister. She led the Freebooter mercenaries that helped him overthrow his father. He also asked me to stay with him," she answered, feeling awkward. "I didn't want that, or him," she added a little hastily, watching as Kotallo's brows ticked down in... annoyance? Concern? Maybe... jealousy? Aloy's heart strangely soared at the idea that it could be jealousy.

But for the love of GAIA, she didn't want Kotallo thinking she was interested in Avad.

Kotallo smiled sadly. "Ah, I think I understand him. A single person making the difference in your people's survival. Appreciation turning into something more…" he said, trailing off. Aloy's heart fluttered in sudden despair. If Kotallo liked her, saw her, only because she saved his people?

She needed a partner, not an admirer.

It took a lot to admit she needed a partner.

"You would have been trapped by duty to a single land," Kotallo said, solemn. Aloy nodded, not trusting herself to speak. "It would be suffocating."

She scoffed bitterly. "Yeah. But what's one more problem to add to the pile? I'm only trying to save the entire world from total annihilation because I'm one of only two people who can unless there's more surprise clones of Elisabet out there."

"It is my belief that you and Beta will save the world," he said simply, choosing to ignore the comment about more clones.

Aloy felt a different kind of despair. "How do you even know?"

"I don't, but you've shown me things I'd never even dreamed before. I've witnessed countless miracles in the time I've known you." He shrugged. "I know it won't be easy. It is why I intend on knocking down whatever obstacles we come across that would impede you, much like your actions for me at the Bulwark."

She buried her face against his shoulder. "Thank you," Aloy said softly, slightly muffled. He drew her in closer, putting his arm around her shoulders. Aloy got shifted in to rest her head against the crook of his neck. "I'm so fucking terrified, Kotallo."

"The wisest warriors are, when faced with uncertainty."

She groaned. "I could use a little less rhetorical goatshit."

"My apologies. Yes, it's fucking terrifying," he chuckled, ending it with a weary sigh. "I'm scared too. We've survived such incredible adversity and overwhelming swarms of enemies, each time pulling through with your - and your sister's - knowledge and ingenuity. But I wonder, how much of that was... luck?"

Aloy closed her eyes and stayed quiet for a bit, replaying over the events of the past 2 years. Life was so damn simple back before the Proving, when all Aloy wanted was to know who her mother was. "Not all of it was luck, but... but maybe some of it was," Aloy admitted.

She felt so lost.

As her teacher, Rost had made her focus on her goal of becoming the best at the Proving, honing her mind and her skills to the sharpest edge, driving her to the very brink of her capabilities... and then letting her realize for herself that she was more capable than she believed. Aloy knew that Rost had loved her in his own way, but there was no denying she had felt alone and unwanted for most of her life. He had been her father. But she had not been his real daughter.

Aloy knew she was needed by the world. She'd been created by a dying GAIA, given a dire purpose to unlock hidden mysteries with her genetic code serving as key.

People like Petra and Avad wanted her… for her skills and fighting prowess and symbolism to bolster their own tribes.

She was no longer alone in her role now that she had Beta, but Beta was still fragile, learning to be part of this world after being isolated for so long.

Where could Aloy feel safe when the Earth was dying?

"Aloy?"

A voice, both distant and yet so close. She half remembered she was having a conversation but she must have been falling asleep. "Mmm sorry," Aloy breathed. The fire was still going and the meal she had was filling, satisfying, lulling her closer to slumber. There was someone? incredibly warm next to her, holding her, touching her skin. The heat suffused through her, easing the bone-deep weariness of her thoughts.

There was a low hum by her ear, a familiar rumble. "Rest well," Kotallo said softly.

#fxl fic #fxl hfw #aloy #kotallo #hekarro #kotaloy #better start ignoring the fxl hfw tag if you just want ml stuff... sorry #erend #whoops forgot erend #aloy x kotallo #i'm pulling the trigger now and making a fool of myself #🥲#horizon forbidden west

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