#fully believe that chay is the only one who can stand against Kim without consequence

[elithemiar-blog]

KimChay reconciliation and a bit of Porsche & Chay

Let me know what ya think. First time writing for this fandom, Kim may be a bit OOC, but I tried.

--

The garden had darken under the fall of the sun, stars climbing over the horizon as the moon stays hidden. The gorgeous bright almost neon colors in a sea of pastel that is normally seen at all times in this new life of violence and retribution, revenge and agony, of the mystery if a puzzle will finally provide the details hidden in the message when the puzzle will be solved.

Only to find that the puzzle solved is only a piece of a much larger scale.

The green foliage of the shrubs that surround the compound is a vivid reminder that even though the ones he loves are alive doesn't mean that they are safe. Drops, much like his own tears at one time, fall from the leaves and absorb into the soil to fuel growth, and even help the seedlings that have yet to sprout.

He can't help but think of himself, falling for so long and hard after a brief time of warmth in a struggle of fending off the cold, and seeing the small things to get through until the next day.

Now, even the white posts that hold the small gazebo, he can only see as gray.

And the ceiling that he would normally see as maybe a dark brown, is as black as the sky is right now.

His head hangs back, neck burning at the angle as he tries to reach the railing to rest on but unable to, instead he feels chill of water droplets hitting his forehead.

Flinching at first, as the uncomfortable feeling of dry to wet, of warm to cold shocks his skin, he calms, the different spectrums becoming soothing.

"If you want to get wet, I'll sneak you over to the pool."

His eyes open to see the border between the sky and the wood of the shelter ceiling, not remembering when he shut them in the first place. Raising his head until meeting the almost guilt wrecked gaze of his brother, but he doesn't speak, just turns his head back down, hands already twisting in his lap and brushing his own calluses on his finger tips.

Rough but gentle hands brushing over his shoulders, skin barely touching skin that sent goosebumps down his arms and ricocheting back into his heart that gave him the courage to speak up, and release the bound feelings inside.

"Chay."

His brother calls again, and still doesn't answer. He shifts until is back is against one of the corners, but his front still staying facing the entrance. Something that he has felt the need to do as of recent, startled several times already with the guards coming up behind him. He feels safer seeing the way in, and exactly who is standing there.

He tucks is legs up on the bench, one leg bending to lean against the railing while the other stays tucked under, hands gripping that leg in an act of self comfort.

"Chay."

He swallows, knowing that this is a conversation has to happen, no matter how much he wants to avoid the nerves, "What?" Where is his courage to battle through those nerves like last time.

Porsche sits next to him, and with his brother being for more proficient at keeping them safe he turns his gaze to his hands, feeling the weird soft material that the oldest brother of the mafia sons had procured for him.

He heard his brother sigh, and the near choking feeling climbs and builds in his throat, but he's so tired of crying, of seeming weak. Another hand hovers over his, then pulls away.

"I know we haven't talked in a while, with everything going on, I just thought that you need time to…let everything settle."

He nods, that was one way of putting it.

"You've changed, Chay. These spontaneous decisions aren't you."

"And what if they are?" he challenges back, softly, barely a whisper between them.

A small smile appears unbidden on his brother's face, "Because I know you. I've seen you angry, happy, sad, nervous, and even petty. I've practically raised you, but you're acting like -- " he sucked in a breath, "Who hurt you, Chay?"

"Does it matter?"

"Yes, tell me their name and I'll go take care of them."

He could, but there was only two, and for once he's tired of holding back the hurt. "You can't take care of yourself."

Porsche flinches back.

"I understand why, I really do, but you couldn't tell me the truth? At least hinted that what you were involved with wasn't legal?" he quickly wipes away the single tear that had escaped, sniffling.

"I didn't think you'd approved."

"Obviously, I didn't matter -- " snapping his mouth shut, the frustration voicing his darker thoughts.

Porsche's voice pitched as he spoke, "You are the reason I took this, our money problems are no more and even if I declined on my death bed, I'm pretty sure we would've been here anyway."

He chokes out a laugh, barely making it past the lump in his throat that still remains there.

Porsche observes him for a moment before nodding along, though concern still evident. "At least you're feeling something."

The corner of his lips tucked up slightly, at least one of them can still see the bright side.

"Who else?"

If there is one thing Chay knows of himself, he can't lie, not to Porsche, no matter how much he really wants to. "Nothing worth your time."

"You're worth everything." he replies. "When everything started to go down before the coup, I thought of taking you and running, escaping while there was still a chance. Then just like that, answers started come, secrets being revealed, and the amount of a hassle there had been of someone trying to keep everything hidden."

"I don't think Kinn," and Kim, he wants to believe, "wouldn't try to follow if we tried."

"And about a dozen bodyguards." Porsche agreed. "I just want you safe, that's all."

He rolls his eyes, "I know."

Porsche opens his arms, inviting the younger for a hug, and this time Chay doesn't deny the embrace hiding his face into his brother's shoulder. "I haven't forgotten that you hadn't revealed a name, but…I'll wait until you're ready."

Nodding back, and seeing the garden around them makes him feel a little lighter.

"Come back to the party when you're ready. I'll keep them distracted for as long as I can."

With one final look, Chay turned his back, refusing to witness Porsche leaving.

His heart felt a little lighter, being able to get through that without the yelling he fearfully expected, for a moment thinking that his brother found out about his outings, and how he'd been followed home, and by who.

The feeling of being watched, eyes penetrating into his back, and he could only think of one single person who would genuinely be watching over him, and that person just left. His heart thumps thinking that it could be the other person, the same person that keeps an eye on him for some reason other than a duty.

"I don't know why you continue to follow me when you've never cared!" he shouts, the accusation on his tongue tingling, taking a breath to release another statement.

"I never said I didn't care." a mellow-toned voice whispers.

Chay whips around, "Then what was with the apology?" the anger that had surfaced immediately dropped back down at seeing the cold, frigid eyes that gazed back. "Kim?"

"Chay, I -- " his gaze turned away, jaw clenching, his hands though hidden in the pockets of that leather jacket, could still be seen forming into fists. He leaned back on his heel, already twisting to walk away.

"Why should I stay, when you won't?"

Kim is forced to pause at that question, his body a quarter of the way twisted back to exit the structure, slowly he met Chay's gaze over his shoulder. "Would you have? If you knew?"

"I don't know." incredulous at the question, but hopeful, "Not like you gave me a choice!" He suddenly stood, finding more strength than he had all week, and nearly stood toe to toe in front of Kim. "I can see why you wouldn't answer any question in the vicinity of this place, from what very little I could figure out, but why hurt me?"

Kim didn't move, just stated straight into the doe-eyes that had haunted him, but at the very least no tears were shedding.

"Did you enjoy playing me like a fiddle? Enjoy that I had been so easy to get information out of? Enjoy--"

"Enjoy our time as if breathing sunlight?"

Chay blinked, "Then why hurt me?"

"Safer --"

"For who?!" he snapped, those frustrated tears threatening to re-run their course down his cheeks.

Kim barely stopped himself from reaching out, shifting so minutely that no-one could've noticed.

"For me? Or for yourself?"

Frustration and anxiety with a brush of hope shifted through Kim's veins, and he couldn't stop his next words, "I can't let my own father know of any weaknesses!"

The sheer vulnerability that reflected in his eyes, of regret, fear, and so much more made Chay's own emotions freeze, his hands rose scrubbing over his eyes, and he turned away, moving back toward the bench he'd been on to curl up as if he's a defenseless child.

Kim reached out, hand missing the fabric of his shirt to hold him there. Tamping down the panic that pierced his heart, as he witnesses Chay turn his back on him, to look out into the garden. A part of him knows that he should leave, and he realized that he's a coward, the beauty in front of him having so much courage for the both of them.

And maybe it could be enough.

Chay lets the tears roll into his sleeve, hearing the footsteps, so light as he's sure Kim is walking away.

"For both of us."

Stunned, the younger turns to give him his full attention, but stays silent.

"If my father knew about our connection he'd use that to tie me into this family again, he'd put your life in danger to get me to cooperate." He sits, turning his head to the garden, being unable to meet the inquisitive gaze just yet. "I knew early on that you didn't know anything, and even after trying to cut contact, you persisted."

"Alright, so attracted to stubbornness?"

"No." Kim glances back to see Chay, insecurities showing through as the younger's shoulders dropped. Panic of a different kind squeezed his heart as he struggled to say something. Than an idea came through the fog, "What do you see in the garden?"

Chay shrugs, "Bushes, foliage, might be some rose bushes." he sees colors, various ones, "What's that got to do with anything?"

"Humor me. What did you think initially?"

"It's calm, quiet, even without the sunlight or the moon, it's beautiful."

Kim, missed the exaggerated hand movements, that showed there was nothing that could be hurt him in those hands. "I see where cameras can be placed, I see places to hide, I see an open area with very few places to use as a barrier in case of another fight. I see things that could be used as a weapon, and even though we are a bit further from the main building, there are cameras that point in this direction."

"I -- "

"This is my world."

"Okay, I can see your point." he nodded, once, "How would keeping me in the dark protect me, if I don't know what I'm being protected from? If I'm in danger, I have a right to know that, so I can protect myself, so I know what to look for."

"I was hoping Porsche would take you and run." he mutters out, "I didn't know about your mother."

"But you knew something." Chay shakes his head, getting his thoughts back on the reason they're here, "What do you want?"

"Whatever you'll give me." his answer rushes out as he exhales.

Chay wants to go back to whatever they had on the base of lies, to go back to that comfort, but he knows that he needs to know Kim without the pretentions of an investigation. To know all sides of him, even the ones he tries to keep hidden. Memories flashed back to Hum's Bar floor, he's not exactly happy about the killing, but at the same time he's grateful, satisfied in a weird way of Kim's ability to protect him.

Kim, will deny to anyone else that he did not perk up at watching Chay unblock his number, a thrumming in his veins that gives in the urge to be able to reach him again.

"I'll let you know."

#kimchay #kinnporsche #fic writing #ever get an idea when your barely awake and think I should write that but immediately fall back asleep #yeah that happened but I waited till late to actually work on it #bc i was trying to work on other stories and brain wouldn't focus #first time writing for this fandom #halp been listening to Black Tie for over a week #fully believe that chay is the only one who can stand against Kim without consequence #let this boy make his own choices #continuation TBD?