#fucked up that they encourage their user base to get a Facebook or Twitter when they actively farm your data (and are dying platforms tbh)

[edenisme]

Just spent two hours working on a splatoon art post, had to take care of a sudden bloody nose during which the console fell asleep. When I turned it back on the game said it lost connection to internet and booted me out of the draw screen and had no memory of my drawing :((

Is there seriously no auto-save for this? Ik you can save and quit manually but what do you do if it just kicks you out like this without warning? What if I’d gone to the bathroom and the console fell asleep then? It has to be common…

Bummed about this. Thanks splatoon :/

#I should know better than trust auto-save I grew up on Microsoft word and other manual save programs #now I have to get back into the habit #although in my defense it’s rlly unintuitive to expect me to LEAVE the mailbox mid-drawing as a way of saving it??? #splatoon #splatoon 3 #and while I’m ranting why do we still have to post to social media if we want to make in-game art #it was bad in splatoon 2 and it’s worse that they kept the system for splatoon 3. #fucked up that they encourage their user base to get a Facebook or Twitter when they actively farm your data (and are dying platforms tbh) #also kids play this game. they’re encouraging kids to use that shit when they might not have before #splattedby.E

[personalattack16]

Sites Like Tinder Meets

Sites Like Tinder Meets People

Free Dating Apps Like Tinder

In the beginning of February, we warned you that Tinder was about to monetize their their app AKA charge for swipes. Tinder’s premium service launched on Monday and there was a new stinky wrinkle; a bit of age discrimination towards horny users aged 30+. Users between 18 and 29-years-old will have to pay $9.99 for unlimited swipes, but anyone over the age of 30-years-old pays $19.99. Dirty deeds and ageism right there by taking advantage of thirsty individuals over 30, who really want to get ass from an app too.

With Tinder, the world’s most popular free dating app, you have millions of other single people at your fingertips and they’re all ready to meet someone like you. Whether you’re straight or in the LGBTQIA community, Tinder’s here to bring you all the sparks. Tinder Meets Review - If you are looking for a simple way to meet someone, then try our popular online dating service. Tinder profile search, tinder review app, unlock tinder reviews, is tinder good, free tinder search, review tinder dating site, tinder dating review, tinder scam.

Tinder is awesome, but free is even more awesomer. If you are strapped for cash or just looking for a new dating app, we have 15 alternatives to Tinder.

There are so many location-based dating apps, but Happn is really, really location-based. It matches you up with potential people that you’ve been recently near (Approximately one city block). You’ll be able to see the number of times you’ve crossed paths with someone, as well as the time and place of your last encounter. Actually, it sounds kinda stalkerish.

Available for iOS and Android.

This app does not want any daters with failing grades. The Grade will reward users who are very dateable, have a quality profile, response rate and tone of messages. However those who fail to meet quality standards receive failing grades. An algorithm assigns a letter grade to users which range from “A+” to “F.” Do you think your profile would make the grade?

Available for iOS.

Hinge suggests matches of your Facebook friends, friends of your friends or third-degree friends. You’ll receive a whole list of potential suitors every day, then you can swipe right or left. For better or worse, Hinge markets itself as the “anti-Tinder.” The downside is having a much smaller dating pool, and people who may actually know what a piece of shit you really are. It’s currently only available in 34 cities.

Available for iOS and Android.

Revealr utilizes not only words and photos to help you get acquainted with someone, but also audio. The user’s photos are pixelated, so matches are not solely based on looks. Every user records a 20-second audio clip and if you like what you hear you can match up.

Available on iOS.

While men are usually the aggressive party in most dating apps, that is not the case at Bumble. The app is said to be “run by girls,” and men can’t send the first message to women. Act fast because the chance to connect disappears after 24 hours.

The app also gives more information than most dating apps. You can share such intimate details as occupation and education history. It looks much like Tinder because Bumble was founded by Tinder co-founder Whitney Wolfe.

Available on iOS.

For those who are a little more picky who they want to date, The League is for you. It connects to your Facebook and LinkedIn to determine if you are qualified to be on the dating app. You are then placed on a waitlist to determine if you are boushie enough before being accepted into the app.

Sites Like Tinder Meets People

If and when you are deemed worthy of being on the exclusive app you’ll get five matches a day. Currently The League is only available in San Francisco, but it is expected to be in New York City, Atlanta, Seattle and Denver soon.

Available on iOS.

Pure claims that it is “The Uber for dates.” I don’t really know what that even means. Does some creepy guy pick you up in a beat up 2001 Mitsubishi Gallant when you can’t drive home because you had too many Strongbow Ciders?

It’s very similar in Tinder in seeking people to hookup. However requests and photos are only available to those with matching search criteria. When you download the app you’re given five free tickets. Each one is good for one hour of your profile being visible by potential partners. However this is some Candy Crush bullshit where you’ll need to purchase more tickets to extend your presence on the app. Only your first five hook up attempts are free. But regardless of the success of the posting, you will have to spend a ticket each time.

Available on iOS and coming soon to Android.

Loveflutter is what would happen if Tinder and Twitter fucked and had a dating app baby. The app blurs people’s profile photo and you only have a 140-character description of them to base your interest. This seems perfect for the “But he/she has a great personality” crowd.

Available on iOS.

Love Milky Chance, The Weeknd or Black Keys and only want to meet a chill chick that has the same taste in music as you? Tastebuds.fm does just that. With Spotify and iTunes integration, you can seek out those with similar preference in music, including bands and genre. Available on iOS.

The Down app was previously the ever romantic “Bang With Friends” app. The site encourages users to “Skip the chatting, and get to smacking those cheeks.” It utilizes Facebook to help you get the nerve to approach that super hot chick on Facebook that you’ve been to terrified to approach.

Available on iOS and Android.

Looking to meet someone who loves posting photos of their coq au vin dinner and excursions to Bermuda? Glimpse may be for you. The app connects to a user’s Instagram account. Use your love for photography to meet that cool, new chick.

Available on iOS.

Skout is much like Tinder, and much like Tinder they have a free version and a premium version. Your location isn’t revealed unless you choose to do so. It does have very good reviews on iTunes and the Google Play store. The downside is that there are annoying ads and only upgrading to Skout+ will get rid of them.

Available on iOS and Android.

Make your bubeleh proud and stop kvetching that you can’t find a nice Jewish girl. Be a real mensch and join JSwipe and hope you don’t get stuck with a meschugena.

Available on iOS and Android.

Coffee Meets Bagel just sounds like a nice, quaint place to meet a lovely girl. It connects to your Facebook and presents you with one match each day at noon. If you both like each other you can then chitchat for a week on the app, after that the line of communication is cut… unless you pay to upgrade your perks.

Available on iOS and Android.

Free Dating Apps Like Tinder

Do you have a beard or are you a gal that appreciates a man with a beard? Welcome to Bristlr, a dating app that claims, “Connecting those with beards to those who want to stroke beards.” Sorry clean-shaven bros, you need not apply.

Available on iOS and Android.

[96thdayofrage]

ProPublica gained access to the group after Lang sent an invitation to a reporter’s social media account. It’s unclear whether Lang knew he had invited a reporter, and the reporter joined but did not participate in the chats.

The group, created two days after the Jan. 6 attack, grew from a few dozen members to nearly 200 in just a week. There, safe from the deplatforming spree of mainstream social media giants like Facebook and Twitter, Lang set out to recruit “normies” and radicalize them to the point that they joined regional militia groups.

Lang’s conversations offer a window into how some of President Donald Trump’s most fervent supporters — still simmering over baseless allegations of election fraud — are finding new connections on messaging platforms that are largely hidden from public scrutiny. Unlike sites such as Facebook, Telegram is a messaging app where users can create large, invitation-only and encrypted chat groups, and it allows users to remain anonymous by hiding their phone numbers from one another. Within days of the riots, more than 25 million users globally joined Telegram, the company’s CEO said, although the U.S. accounts for a fraction of its user base. A company spokesman did not respond to questions from ProPublica.

The chats also make clear that at least some of those involved in the Capitol insurrection, despite a sweeping crackdown by U.S. law enforcement that has resulted in more than 160 cases, appear dedicated to planning and participating in further violence.

“This has been one of my concerns shorter-term: That folks who are more fervent are seeking each other out in a way that can lead to some short-term, violent outbursts,” said Amy Cooter, a senior lecturer of sociology at Vanderbilt University who has studied militia activity for more than a decade. Homeland Security officials on Wednesday warned of heightened threats of violence across the country from domestic extremists who felt emboldened by the Jan. 6 attack.

The FBI referred questions of whether the government was aware of Lang’s activities to the U.S. Attorney’s Office in Washington, which did not immediately return an inquiry seeking comment Wednesday. 

ProPublica sifted through thousands of videos taken by Parler users to create an immersive, first-person view of the Capitol riot. 

A lawyer for Lang, Steven Metcalf, said he was not aware of his client’s private social media messages, including the Telegram group. Metcalf said he planned to enter a not-guilty plea and to contend that Lang was exercising his First Amendment right to free speech on Jan. 6.

After Lang’s arrest, his father, Ned Lang, told the local newspaper, the Times Herald-Record of Middletown, New York, that his son had struggled with substance abuse. “As a result, he has had numerous issues with law enforcement over the past 11 years and it has only gotten worse, as is evidenced by his most recent arrest and actions at our nation’s Capitol!” Ned Lang said in an emailed statement to the newspaper. “We are praying for my son that he conquers his addictions and finds a new path forward in his life!” Ned Lang did not respond to messages from ProPublica seeking comment.

Jake Lang’s public social media accounts depict him as an internet-savvy serial entrepreneur, with one now-defunct Instagram account, @jakevape, chronicling hashtagged trips to Coachella, California, and to Art Basel in Miami. Public records show he had moved through various business ventures, from one selling vaporizers to another selling custom baseball hats. For a time, he ran Social Model Management, which promised to help prospective models get “social media famous” by unlocking “industry secrets” that would triple their Instagram followers.

More recent social media posts by Lang acknowledged his struggle to stay sober and a deepening interest in religion. In an Instagram post from last year, tagged “#ChristEnergy,” Lang set goals for himself to memorize the Hebrew alphabet and stay kosher.

After his participation in the Capitol insurrection, Lang seemingly turned his online audience-building skills to a new mission: On the evening of Jan. 8, he turned to Instagram to send a round of invitations to join his private Telegram group, appealing to “patriots” willing to act locally and nationally as an armed paramilitary.

When new members joined the group, he emphasized they should remain anonymous by hiding their phone numbers and changing their usernames to “@Patriot[name].” He urged members to avoid chitchat and any specifics about future actions. Some floated gatherings on Inauguration Day or a few days before in state capitals, although others warned that protests on those days could be a trap. Participants were told they’d be vetted “to make sure they are who they claim to be,” wrote user Silence DoGood, before they were added to their local group chats by regional leaders.

Lang repeatedly used photos and videos of himself from the Capitol insurrection to stress the importance of military-style organization in future attacks.

“A woman just died in this video being trampled by DC police because we aren’t organized as patriots,” Lang posted on Jan. 10, an apparent reference to Rosanne Boyland, who died in a stampede at the Capitol. “This was my carnal cry for the real men to step up and help.”

Replied one member, who went by the username Tony Bologna: “Damn brother! Amen.”

“It was the first battle of the Second American Revolution- make no mistakes,” Lang continued. “This is WAR.” He posted a code of conduct in the group, as well as a set of meme-like instructions for members to prepare for a national “blackout,” buying long-range walkie-talkies and stocking up on guns, ammo and food.

“It’s really happening huh?” asked another user, Alastair. Lang replied with a video attachment, again of himself outside of the Capitol: “Do not be afraid of these tyrants.”

Some of the chat’s new recruits referred to Lang in language borrowed from the military. When one new member asked who the group’s leader was, another replied: “GENERAL JAKE😈😈😈 Your soldiers are reporting for duty.”

One user, dubbed Nomad, appointed himself a regional organizer in western Michigan, while another volunteered to boost the group’s ranks in central Florida. 

“This is grass roots,” wrote Patriot Captain RedorDead, who claimed to invite 20 prospective recruits from a local gym. “This is real.” Lang also encouraged recruiting at local gun shops.

He chastised members who veered into more social territory. “Guys please this is a MILITIA group to defend our country from communism - private message each other if you want to flirt. Only warning.”

While the idea was to organize a coherent strategy ahead of Jan. 20, when President Joe Biden would be sworn in, the group didn’t appear to coalesce around one. Lang offered few details: “The plan for now is to Martin Luther king style March on 17th and 20th, exercising our Rights (that means armed),” he wrote on Jan. 13. “Peace and God be the forefront of all of what we do. But we cannot not show up and appear weak! That is not an option.”

There’s no sign those in the chats took action on those days, but experts like Cooter warn against writing off their intentions as chatroom bluster. While most new online militia groups “are probably keyboard warriors and nothing more,” she cautioned, “we don't know that for sure, and I don’t think we can be complacent about a real risk from even a small minority of such groups.”

Experts have warned about the dangers of online echo chambers for years, but deplatforming may bring other risks, said Josh Pasek, a political science and communication and media professor at the University of Michigan. “The concern is much larger if the selection of which platforms people are using in the first place is itself more polarized. The chance that they make themselves far more extreme is high.”

He added: “The Capitol riot isn’t the end of much. What happens online can move offline. We’ve seen way too many examples of that to ignore it at this point.” 

By Jan. 18, word of Lang’s arrest reached the Telegram group users. 

“Seems as though the FEDs aren’t fucking around…” wrote one member. 

“Omg @patriotjake !!!” Patriot Jetaime wrote.

Some members left, but others vowed to stick around. “I’m still going to stay in the group in case he comes back, which is unlikely, but we may have to continue where he left off,” Patriot Zoomer said.

“The group is still here,” added PatriotLos. “Being patriotic is a lifestyle. Everyone has the capability to lead so don’t get lost.”

ProPublica gained access to the group after Lang sent an invitation to a reporter’s social media account. It’s unclear whether Lang knew he had invited a reporter, and the reporter joined but did not participate in the chats.

The group, created two days after the Jan. 6 attack, grew from a few dozen members to nearly 200 in just a week. There, safe from the deplatforming spree of mainstream social media giants like Facebook and Twitter, Lang set out to recruit “normies” and radicalize them to the point that they joined regional militia groups.

Lang’s conversations offer a window into how some of President Donald Trump’s most fervent supporters — still simmering over baseless allegations of election fraud — are finding new connections on messaging platforms that are largely hidden from public scrutiny. Unlike sites such as Facebook, Telegram is a messaging app where users can create large, invitation-only and encrypted chat groups, and it allows users to remain anonymous by hiding their phone numbers from one another. Within days of the riots, more than 25 million users globally joined Telegram, the company’s CEO said, although the U.S. accounts for a fraction of its user base. A company spokesman did not respond to questions from ProPublica.

The chats also make clear that at least some of those involved in the Capitol insurrection, despite a sweeping crackdown by U.S. law enforcement that has resulted in more than 160 cases, appear dedicated to planning and participating in further violence.

“This has been one of my concerns shorter-term: That folks who are more fervent are seeking each other out in a way that can lead to some short-term, violent outbursts,” said Amy Cooter, a senior lecturer of sociology at Vanderbilt University who has studied militia activity for more than a decade. Homeland Security officials on Wednesday warned of heightened threats of violence across the country from domestic extremists who felt emboldened by the Jan. 6 attack.

The FBI referred questions of whether the government was aware of Lang’s activities to the U.S. Attorney’s Office in Washington, which did not immediately return an inquiry seeking comment Wednesday.

ProPublica sifted through thousands of videos taken by Parler users to create an immersive, first-person view of the Capitol riot. 

A lawyer for Lang, Steven Metcalf, said he was not aware of his client’s private social media messages, including the Telegram group. Metcalf said he planned to enter a not-guilty plea and to contend that Lang was exercising his First Amendment right to free speech on Jan. 6.

After Lang’s arrest, his father, Ned Lang, told the local newspaper, the Times Herald-Record of Middletown, New York, that his son had struggled with substance abuse. “As a result, he has had numerous issues with law enforcement over the past 11 years and it has only gotten worse, as is evidenced by his most recent arrest and actions at our nation’s Capitol!” Ned Lang said in an emailed statement to the newspaper. “We are praying for my son that he conquers his addictions and finds a new path forward in his life!” Ned Lang did not respond to messages from ProPublica seeking comment.

Jake Lang’s public social media accounts depict him as an internet-savvy serial entrepreneur, with one now-defunct Instagram account, @jakevape, chronicling hashtagged trips to Coachella, California, and to Art Basel in Miami. Public records show he had moved through various business ventures, from one selling vaporizers to another selling custom baseball hats. For a time, he ran Social Model Management, which promised to help prospective models get “social media famous” by unlocking “industry secrets” that would triple their Instagram followers.

More recent social media posts by Lang acknowledged his struggle to stay sober and a deepening interest in religion. In an Instagram post from last year, tagged “#ChristEnergy,” Lang set goals for himself to memorize the Hebrew alphabet and stay kosher.

After his participation in the Capitol insurrection, Lang seemingly turned his online audience-building skills to a new mission: On the evening of Jan. 8, he turned to Instagram to send a round of invitations to join his private Telegram group, appealing to “patriots” willing to act locally and nationally as an armed paramilitary.

When new members joined the group, he emphasized they should remain anonymous by hiding their phone numbers and changing their usernames to “@Patriot[name].” He urged members to avoid chitchat and any specifics about future actions. Some floated gatherings on Inauguration Day or a few days before in state capitals, although others warned that protests on those days could be a trap. Participants were told they’d be vetted “to make sure they are who they claim to be,” wrote user Silence DoGood, before they were added to their local group chats by regional leaders.

Lang repeatedly used photos and videos of himself from the Capitol insurrection to stress the importance of military-style organization in future attacks.

“A woman just died in this video being trampled by DC police because we aren’t organized as patriots,” Lang posted on Jan. 10, an apparent reference to Rosanne Boyland, who died in a stampede at the Capitol. “This was my carnal cry for the real men to step up and help.”

Replied one member, who went by the username Tony Bologna: “Damn brother! Amen.”

“It was the first battle of the Second American Revolution- make no mistakes,” Lang continued. “This is WAR.” He posted a code of conduct in the group, as well as a set of meme-like instructions for members to prepare for a national “blackout,” buying long-range walkie-talkies and stocking up on guns, ammo and food.

“It’s really happening huh?” asked another user, Alastair. Lang replied with a video attachment, again of himself outside of the Capitol: “Do not be afraid of these tyrants.”

Some of the chat’s new recruits referred to Lang in language borrowed from the military. When one new member asked who the group’s leader was, another replied: “GENERAL JAKE😈😈😈 Your soldiers are reporting for duty.”

One user, dubbed Nomad, appointed himself a regional organizer in western Michigan, while another volunteered to boost the group’s ranks in central Florida. 

“This is grass roots,” wrote Patriot Captain RedorDead, who claimed to invite 20 prospective recruits from a local gym. “This is real.” Lang also encouraged recruiting at local gun shops.

He chastised members who veered into more social territory. “Guys please this is a MILITIA group to defend our country from communism - private message each other if you want to flirt. Only warning.”

While the idea was to organize a coherent strategy ahead of Jan. 20, when President Joe Biden would be sworn in, the group didn’t appear to coalesce around one. Lang offered few details: “The plan for now is to Martin Luther king style March on 17th and 20th, exercising our Rights (that means armed),” he wrote on Jan. 13. “Peace and God be the forefront of all of what we do. But we cannot not show up and appear weak! That is not an option.”

There’s no sign those in the chats took action on those days, but experts like Cooter warn against writing off their intentions as chatroom bluster. While most new online militia groups “are probably keyboard warriors and nothing more,” she cautioned, “we don't know that for sure, and I don’t think we can be complacent about a real risk from even a small minority of such groups.”

Experts have warned about the dangers of online echo chambers for years, but deplatforming may bring other risks, said Josh Pasek, a political science and communication and media professor at the University of Michigan. “The concern is much larger if the selection of which platforms people are using in the first place is itself more polarized. The chance that they make themselves far more extreme is high.”

He added: “The Capitol riot isn’t the end of much. What happens online can move offline. We’ve seen way too many examples of that to ignore it at this point.” 

By Jan. 18, word of Lang’s arrest reached the Telegram group users. 

“Seems as though the FEDs aren’t fucking around…” wrote one member. 

“Omg @patriotjake !!!” Patriot Jetaime wrote.

Some members left, but others vowed to stick around. “I’m still going to stay in the group in case he comes back, which is unlikely, but we may have to continue where he left off,” Patriot Zoomer said.

“The group is still here,” added PatriotLos. “Being patriotic is a lifestyle. Everyone has the capability to lead so don’t get lost.”

[whenislunch]

This summer I saw my favorite artist perform live on an island off of Manhattan that used to serve as a jail/mental health institution.

When Frank Ocean came out with his screen grabbed text file posted as a “photo” on Tumblr in 2012, I knew the platform was something special - the one niche he could safely post something so revealing and vulnerable and still not open himself to the direct hate-filled or homophobic comments of any other forum. I had signed up for Tumblr the year prior. I joined with the fantasy of becoming a famous food blogger (and later as a nail artist) so I could quit my publicity job and score all of the PR perks that I so readily dished out to any 'mommy' with a touch of digital pretense.

Personal space on the vast internet was never my craving. I resisted being too present, and enjoyed the ability to control how much I “put myself out there” on facebook, twitter, and later Instagram. With my original two tumblrs, like Frank, I could focus on sharing and following the things I cared the most about: in early cases, it was fan art of Bill Murray, gifs of Daft Punk, and mostly photos of food I had eaten from the everyday life of a new New Yorker discovering the cult nature of the restaurant scene (a similar practice to my behavior as a teen taking shitty photos at punk shows in St Pete, Florida to pin on my bedroom wall). Tumblr became my collection of “curated cool," and nobody cared how hard I was trying or what I put up there, except for me, and it became my favorite place on the internet. Eventually, I realized all of the writers I was admiring on The Awl were including their Tumblrs in their bios, and I was there to follow them. I saw Rebecca Black become a meme before her one-hit would become a wedding band wonder. If sitting at the open kitchen counter at an edison bulb-lit restaurant was the closest you could get to a food industry version of “backstage”, then a Tumblr dashboard filled with all of the blogging generation of the “fake news media” was the analogy. It’s human nature to want to be seen and understood. Selfies perform better than friendies on Instagram - and GPOY’s on Tumblr… well I challenge anybody on music.ly to define the acronym without that peeking at the Childish Gambino Genius page first.

And that’s the tip of the iceberg for where I stand with Tumblr now. After three years of hanging out in the same field, they invited me to meet them at the dugout. After four months of interviewing and pitching challenges and pretending like I was at a digital optimization workshop, I was offered a job. After five years, or nearly, I’m ready for another one. I had the BEST time and the BEST TEAM working at Tumblr. Sentiment is incalculable, and being the Comms professionals that we are, we can swear to the moon that the effect of press results on a brand is unquantifiable when one piece can qualitatively alter the nature of the public’s perception versus the reality of a goal. And I had the the immeasurable luxury to be surrounded by the smartest, most creative, intensely productive, and to borrow a food world phrase - hardiest colleagues in the history of the internet.

My first day at Tumblr also belonged to six others - together we endured a questionable onboarding interaction and then were sent with laptops and branded hoodies to our respective seats at our superdesks on various floors. There were dogs everywhere. I was told that I’d be introduced to the company on Friday and to submit two truths and a lie to help them get to know me. Here they are:

I have photo credits in the New York Times and New York Magazine

I appeared as a backup dancer in a rap video in high school

I watercolor paintings of crustaceans as a hobby

Leave your guess in the comments (oh wait, it’s Tumblr, you can’t). 

Friday lunches were my lifeblood for a couple of months. Every week for at least seven thereafter unloaded a new set of amazing humans to be introduced in some absurd way by Sean from recruiting. I remember @sexpigeon vs Homer’s owner in game of pictionary, Johnny and Jake quickly competing for my heart as #1 engineer dudes, and of course, the instant classic game of Mark Coatney/ Marc Cote/ Marked Coat. Tumblr ramped up fast thanks to Lee, a fundraising series and at the tireless behest of my personal champion, Lindsey Dole.

Meanwhile, more magic was brewing in the cauldron. I heard @amandalynferri talking about some game she invented called Pretty Little Lasagna box, or I heard Maddie recalling the time she had her palm read in 14th street psychic's booth seeking refuge from a snowstorm, or @lexkap who sat on the other side of the building with a dog on her lap DM’d me on hip chat to show me her own nail art blog. Then a few of us won a chance to see a sneak preview of a new arthouse film by Harmony Korine and featuring an ensemble cast of former Disney talent that had been filmed in my hometown with a y2k airbrushed aesthetic - there was something innately emotional tied to each of us with this first viewing of Spring Breakers. When we left the midtown theater alongside the ATL Twins, I realized that this company had curated a community to match the intended behavior of its user base. We all connected on a level beyond any workplace I had experienced before.

And there was the professional side to the job - the work wins came quick because I was so lucky to sit under leaders who wanted the team to succeed. Rick Webb and Katherine encouraged me to dig in, and get deep with these shiny new toys called “evangelists” - Valentine, Nate, Liba, Annie, Max, Rachel, Jen, and briefly DCH. An enviable group of brilliant minds and creative energy who have all gone on to accomplish even more for their respective industries than a marketing budget at a start up could have enabled - and I had the pleasure to help share their Tumblr stories with the world - from a puppy bowl to annual southby's to groundbreaking art auctions to thirteen fucking fashion weeks to 35+ art and music shows (brrr)?

And then Tumblr got acquired and the Jenna Wortham turned the New York Times blue, and I got to do something I’m sure will never happen again in my entire career: I threw a party where the goody bag included a free tattoo, and multiple brave souls got them (Tyler, @bryanasortino, Megan & Johnny, among others).

And then Karen (aka #takingitallin aka @beautifulliving) joined, and me and Katherine gained a new teammate at the same time that I gained a new soul sister (and because of her self-described passion for advertising I never had to write an announcement about a new ad product ever again.) I’ve never been more challenged to succeed as I have over the three years I sat next to Karen - a generous and driven woman with endless dreams of supporting others (literally, ask her about the gap in the undergarment sector), who will always find a spot to squeeze me into a photobooth. Even at her wedding.

And lucky us, because then we invited @lilders into the #teamcomms fold and wow, wow, wow was life good. It was my honor working with Lily as she grew from FIT intern into somebody we should all aspire to work for someday.

Which leads to me to the poker faced improv master of all - Katherine. Allora @alittlespace! I am so lucky she believed that this girl who came into talk about a hypothetical strategy to get Eleven Madison Park on Tumblr and then pitched her a fantasy football launch party hosted by Nick Kroll and Mark Duplass could fit in and have the privilege to join the Tumblr Communications team. KB - I’ve already written you the dopiest thank you letter and shared my orchid growing miracle secrets - but it can’t be said enough - I am so grateful to have worked for you for all of these years. You are the best boss, and we will always be the #bestteam.

Because of Tumblr (and @david), I had the pleasure of working with so many additional incomparable people on projects outside of my designated Marketing Comms position, wearing more hats than we even produced for branded activation swag:

Designing and contenting for months with the relaunch of the precious Staff blog with David, Peter, Damien, Tag, Toph, among others

Setting the inaugural year in review with Danielle, Amanda, Christine loose (and then doing it again and again and again, with the wonderful team at DKC - especially that time we added a serving Kale to America’s breakfast.

Marathoning dozens of events with amazing producers like Julia, Suzanne and Magic - and encountering the native talent that thrives on Tumblr like Humans of New York, Chloe Wise, Sam Cannon, Johnny McLaughlin, Jillian Mercado, to a point where I can honestly say “I knew them when.”

Participating in the first ever Sales Offsite aka the greatest bar mitzvah ever thrown by Lee Brown, Dan Walsh and Sarah Won and the rest of the coolest sales team ever assembled (here’s to you @katemaxx, @jeffdtaylor, Meredith, Ari, Kira, and so many more)

Reaching back into my fashion bag of tricks and launching three different clothing lines.

Creating partnerships to show off super surprises at nerd parties at Comic Con and another breaking the internet for Art Basel

Interviewing the CEO of Shake Shack for the one-time-only live episode of “5 with a side of fries" in front of the whole company.

Urgently dealing with Legal, Ads, Trust and Safety on one of the definitive news story of a generation after nine months of back channeling and reporting.

DOING IT FOR THE CULTURE: Racing with the content and analytics teams for stats on the contentious day of #thedress, and then bling rings, witches, boneghazi, superwholockians, wholesome memes, studyblr, emojis, and of course, the toe thing! Thus redefining what it means to “go viral.”

Cleaned a ball pit for the dude from the 1975 to make a splash into them and trolled a legacy music publication

And wow - it took me this long to mention Post It Forward…I am so proud of everyone who helped make Tumblr the most empathetic community on the internet: Nicole Blumenfeld, Jeff D’Onofrio, @skiphursh “Dolphin", @dougrichard, Andy Sebela, Jess Frank, Sarah Won @swon, @pauwow, the brilliant and diligent Michelle Johnson. From building the blog, commissioning the art, recruiting and onboarding the partners, writing the endless number of give/gets, planning the sponsored posts and social content, running the day to day on the blog (and bequeathing that role to Lily), then doing it again with the Mental Health Quilt and IRL with the Post It Forward Summit - I’ve found my new track as a special projects person who can take on any issue, even suicidal teens. If this is my legacy, I’ve planted seeds in the garden I might never see. And special thanks to Victoria, who allowed me to speak at Obama’s White House about why kids need a place on the internet that can help heal - so long as they can find each other.

As it turns out, adults need that, too. From tailing Frank Ocean’s Ferrari to the most woke, mentally aware community and on to, thank god, a bonafide company to match - I will forever cherish my time at Tumblr and I’ll forever been asking #whenislunch. But from every tomorrow on, it will be somewhere else. And you can find me on the internet! 

Here’s my LinkedIn, I’m looking. 

#bye tumblr #good luck david karp #this is my job #this is my life #memes #tumblr hq #tumblr staff

[humanauction]

chapter draft - R (digitisation of youth)

R - disenfranchised middle-class youth

people, they say this new lot, these kids, are many things:

narcissistic selfish can’t focus disconnected hard to control entitled nihilistic lazy no accountability

it’s got to a stage now, that the people in charge - those people - have actually started asking them what they might want. seems a lot like shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted, but whatever.

to the kids, they ask:

“so what do you want?”

and these new lot they say all sorts of things:

we want to be heard we want to have a job that means something we want to make a difference we want to leave our mark on the world

and…

we want meetings on tiny chairlifts (google) we want fruit and macha tea, barista coffee for free. (zoopla) we want inclusive gym memberships (find company) and we want monthly staff prize giveaways (apple) we want fitbits (target) iPads! cereal! BREAKFAST-LUNCH-AND-MOTHERFUCKING-DINNER!!!

and so they get it. but they still aren't happy. they never use hardly any of it. but they do make sure people. all the people. their friends, fans, followers. all of those people.

:-)

sooooo lucky, babe

and this makes the kids feel.

lets break this one down for a second. what can be blamed, now that the time for blame has well and truly elapsed? you can still try it, but whats the point? most of your torturers will be dead soon if they aren't already. so anyway, coming from a blame-based culture of email accountability what have we got:

i. technology 2 - nurture C) nature IV = AAA

technology

Facebook. it has a lot to answer for. twitter, too. instagram, reddit, snapchat, VK, vine, youtube… all of them. enablers that they are. because technology has skewed the kids minds and everything they do is uploaded. everything. clever or stupid, bad or good. there forever. even if you think you deleted it. uploaded and photoshopped. because even though these kids are keen for everyone to know they are definitely having fun, the most important part becomes the enhancements. masks are added, things get rubbed out and smoothed down, everything gets a cool looking filter with a anonym. so even when having fun, the fun still needs to be improved upon before sharing it with the world for their approval. everything:

what they eat; what they wear; where they go; who is there; what makeup; cars they saw; buildings they passed.

go to a fireworks display sometime. don't take your phone. instead just look around. try to count the people just enjoying the display. then try to count all the people busily recording or streaming it for upload. all these uploads, they would be fine if they were examples of your daily happy life, but the overwhelming truth is that most of these kids, they make it look amazing but inside they don't know who they are and they are weak and they are cowardly. and yet to the rest of the world they are confidence incarnate. someone, anyone, has a question or a problem and immediately, out of nowhere:

Andreas messaged you; je$$ie commented on you link; tom messaged you; doug28 messaged you; Leon messaged you; Melinda Hart messaged you; hotdog24 messaged you; messaged you; messaged you; messaged you; messaged you…

and it goes on. and on. and hundreds of people “like” your sad, existential, question, even though this is the only genuine, honest, question anyone has asked in months. and all these scared little weak cowardly children who know nothing, you know what they say?

they tell you EXACTLY what you should be doing. no questions, no doubt. they KNOW everything about what you need to do. they simultaneously search google - with its very limited menu of results - and type comments. they copy the words of some sadu from india, or a woman respected for her feminist stance, or elon fucking musk. but they don't say this, instead they quickly repackage it for your very public consumption, with their own mark added as if this pseudo-philosophical answer isn't actually the re-hashing of some ancient, greek or german or chinese scriptures they don't even know exist.

“but why?” ask the adults, “why?”

why? why? everything always comes back to one thing. its almost a running theme through societies facilitators: the internet, mobile phones, drugs, booze, sex, gambling. they all give us this one thing that we all love:- dopamine

dopamine NOUN

Biochemistry

[mass noun] A compound present in the body as a neurotransmitter and a precursor of other substances including adrenaline.

the irony of the fact all anyone is trying to do is release something already present in their own bodies is thoroughly lost on the kids, however. they don't really know what dopamine is; all they know it they have no confidence. how do they feel better about themselves then?

posting pictures; getting various likes; gaining followers/subscribers; receiving calls & text messages; getting something shared; having their comment favourited; tweeting; being re-tweeted (that’s a big one)

because what these things do to these young minds is exactly what smoking, drugs, alcohol and gambling did for the generation before. and the results of heroin, crack, super-strength booze, barely regulated gambling, binge-encouraging licensing laws and draconian governmental drug policy have now been accepted as deeply damaging and complete failures respectively. so kids, they don't do all the normal stuff. they don't learn to get natural levels of things in your brain like serotonin or dopamine you would get from doing all those things your grandparents enjoyed so much:

dancing travel picnics laughing the cinema sports love

you get the idea. without this they have to find it elsewhere, or else be miserable. these kids, they are at a difficult point as it is, and they have access to this thing the adults don't really understand. they may have invented it, but the great thing about kids is they'll always find a better way of using your idea or invention than you ever thought of. no one ever really thought social media would end up being our primary mood regulator. and that creates a unique difference between older generations ability to access large dopamine stimulants and the new. for the traditionalists there are age restrictions. there are legal restrictions. there are “controls” placed on “substances”. but the internet and social media is an ever expanding constantly evolving dopamine dealing monster of the kind the adults have never seen before. its easy to see why as we get older religion becomes more important. when you start to see the devil in things, you start to think maybe we could do with some sort of righteous opposition.

so low self-esteem combined with a literal 24/7, 365-days-a-year access to small, neatly-packaged releases of the very addictive, Dopamine. and the adults look at the kids and they despair.

how? why?

as if living through the first attempt to supercharge the release of mind altering alkaloids and the like had happened to someone else. or maybe that’s why. and the ultimate fears of the kids are now so different. so removed as they are from the real world, everything negative is directly relatable to their social media feeds.

if 20,000 hectares of primary rainforest gets bulldozed for soya someplace? thats ok. a north african nation collapses into war creating a flood of immigration? so what.

no one liked my comment; I'm not getting as many views as previous vlogs; losing subscribers; being unfriended.

these are the things that they obsess over, reading their own posts and comments over and over and over and just check one more time in case… in case nothing, really. just to see how other people have reacted. if they have reacted. whoever they are. or most likely are not. and the adults, they don't understand. so you got unfriended, so no one liked a video you posted.

“what’s the big deal, kid?”

they don't understand. despite everything they have essentially become more technologically able versions of their own parents. they got through just in time to buy a house, to have a career, to afford a family. mostly. just. but to a young mind already busy withdrawing into a digital construct they view to be more real than the reality they occupy in, increasingly, physical form alone. it is not only a big deal, it is the only deal they can relate to. and in the end, they just end up in the same cycle of addiction that has plagued humanity since we learnt to identify, cultivate, extract, distill, process and store the things we love so much to consume to excess.

take any junkie.

please.

no, but seriously take any addict and examine their behavioural patterns for just a second. ask one addict. ask a former user. ask a junkie. ask me. ask any, ask all. ask them to take you back to when all this started and the story you get will go something like this:

“when i was between the ages of 9 and 16 something happened to me. maybe it was one thing maybe it was a series of things. maybe it was a person, an event, a situation. and whether or not this was true in hindsight, at the time, i didn't feel i had any friends or support and someone introduced me to (enter relevant drug/drink/behaviour here), and it made me feel like i fitted myself. and this was the first time i had ever really felt like that,”

rewind a second, to when you were even younger:

“when i was younger all that mattered was my parents. they stood as gods. real gods, like the one in the old books. not a kind and patient lord, no, an autocratic benevolent and wrathful being. that made me feel unimportant, scared, abandoned.”

why does this matter? let’s go back forwards for a second to most people’s ideal path through their developmental period:

so you are at an age where your parents recede in your mind as you are made aware through religion or neglect that there is a bigger picture full of clans and tribes and groups and affiliations. you need the approval of different people now. potentially people your parents would not approve of. and these people, some of them, eventually, will become something you feel a part of, support, are supported by. based on things like love, respect, and mutual understanding. as you grow older these regular and reoccurring figures lean on you and support you and they become your family.

nice, right?

but what if this never happens? not really. not physically. what if this only happens on a screen and your peers consist primarily of fans, followers, subscribers or thousands of friends you will never meet? it is human to need the tribe, because it is human to need. but back to our gambling, alcoholic, addict:

so now i’m 19-46 and I'm running through cycles of abuse, abstinence, relapse, abuse, abstinence, relapse… based on the stresses in my life. normal stresses. job problems? consume. personal problems? consume. the message is consume and he/she does so willingly. the supply is so massive demand will never catch up. it never occurs for the longest time to her/him it might be the behaviour that causes 90% of all consumption related stresses. without having ever formed any relationships in his/her adolescence that weren't mutually exclusive to the drug/drink/behaviour she/he decided to be his/her favourite(s). she/he can’t just go and see a friend. by this stage any interaction requires consumption.

but there are treatments. there are options. there are ways to get away. it isn't easy, but it is possible and there is some sort of legislation to deal with problematic members of society. if nothing else, there is medication. but with an increasingly technologically immersed society, how can someone addicted to something like social media and the internet possibly get away.

ask a scientist. ask a few. ask me. or ask google this exact thing:

people who spend more time on social media are more likely to suffer from depression than those who don’t.

and that. that’s a fact. so now you're an addict. do any of these things:

check your phone first thing in the morning? have your phone out when you are with friends? check your phone whilst driving? read emails or generally scroll whilst in meetings? message people you know are not there to answer?

addict. like it or not, thats exactly what you are.

2. nurture & 3. nature:

the western failed parenting techniques of child psychology and personal empowerment. the whole:

“you are a precious snowflake” “you are special” “you can be anything - if you try hard/want it badly enough”

and these kids, they live in a whole new world. there is political correctness for the first time. some kids always come last at everything. they used to just be last, but now? now they get a certificate or a medal for taking part. for the first time, just being there is rewarded.

but its a bit like mcdonalds in the end. you remember the star system? well if you dont, the employees wore stars they earned to show… something. but rewarding failure or mere participation, it doesn't work. in the end the medals aren't worth anything, the stars are pointless, and all they do is depress the individual who “won” it/them and has to display this very public badge of weakness or subservience. you get it in the military too - medals earned and medals given. they are two very different things, and the second are largely auction pieces.

so these kids, the ones we are talking about, they go through this whole, ever-shorter, “childhood” of entitlement, filled with promised futures of exceptional achievement.

and then they go to the workplace. not to work, because now there aren't any jobs and you are going to be working for free, then minimum wage, and eventually you’ll be a professional and wont earn enough to survive in a city like london. the kind of city you need to be in if you stand a chance at all. so these kids, they move to the new city slums and their parents guarantee rents these kids cant afford. first day, they walk in, probably late, get shuffled about for a couple of hours between people who need someone, but don't really want them and WHAM!

imagine: a huge wall, a wall so huge it blocks out the sun.

got it? ok, so now imagine that wall falling like a rogue wave off the coast of hawaii the size of an office block directly through your soul when they make you understand, these, these, these adults. make you understand, it turns out, that what you were told was wrong. everything all of it. and more relevantly here:

“you are NOT a precious snowflake” “you are NOT special” “you can NOT be anything - NOT if you try hard/want it badly enough”

ego shattered. soul screaming. hot adrenaline flushes. green soundless black-out flashes. it’s like a panic attack. oh no wait - it is a panic attack. and it hits fast. you, who can do anything, cant control panic when it hits. everyone thinks they’ll be able to. mostly no one ever can. and now you have a whole generation with a naturally low sense of self esteem, who need medication for anxiety and panic attacks on top of everything still to come. nothing is real. everything a lie, pretend, an illusion. everything is fake except for the only fake thing here. so they dive into a digital simulation of an approximation of the life they wish they have and get pleasure when people tell them they like the person they in reality, aren’t.

4. AAA

remember how it was, before the internet? before broadband?

having to wait for CDs to be released? waiting for the shops to start selling them? or records? digging through crates for weeks, month, years, for that one tune? having to go and watch bands play live to hear rare performances? that feeling of finding something new? to have to wait week-by-week for your favourite show to air? before auto-record? before boxsets? on normal analogue CRT television sets? those big massive things? having to go and take a night-class to learn something? by doing it? with other people? going to the supermarket to chose your food, let alone actual real markets? contribute to delivery costs? for anything? food? clothes? postal items? from china? having to research from books? referencing whole books? lots of them? technical books? having to use them in situ because they were reference material? microfilm? those big blue/green screens of blackness?

photocopying? like scanning, but different?

museums? of history? to see how things looked on walls? in frames? books? weapons? jewels? bones? museums? of art? deciding on your favourite school, again? style? artist? sculptor? surrealism? dada-ism? dutch? renaissance? meeting girls? meeting boys? face-to-face? standing around? asking them out? the groups? the bravado? the nerves? the acceptances? the rejections? borrowing books from the library? waiting for a book to be returned? paying fines for late returns? meeting up at the cinema? making plans in advance? agreeing where to meet because of all the people? because no phones? going to the video store and seeing if any of the newest movie were for some reason behind another movies box-cover? because they were all out? yeah, you took the copy of the movie you wanted from behind a box with the picture of the movie you wanted on it. thats how you knew they had it. and if it was a new movie, they had loads of copies.

but they always ran out. remember that?

not now, no way. now it’s all: AAA

Access All Areas

in a world of near-instant gratification, these kids they get confused. its back to the whole first day at work scenario. the one where they arrive knowing fuck all and expect to be making life-changing decisions by the end of the week, if not the day. imagine that same kid after six months, dejected, feeling wasted and useless because they aren't achieving anything related to the buzzwords they crave:

importance impact effect

abstract concepts. like time itself. irony at least is still doing a healthy trade through all of this, this, temporary glitch? collapse of civilisation? no one really knows, and increasingly the kids, they don't care. means nothing to them. doesn't give them what they need when they see pictures of it so they don't look and the algorithm makes sure that part of life goes away. and these kids, they don't know what a 10,000lb bomb looks like, let alone how you get it halfway across the globe. and drop it on someone they will never meet? definitely don't care. instant access, instant gratification - what did it get them mainly - desensitisation to everything that isn't directly related to their ever-shrinking worlds. what would you like to see?

road rage videos organised fights between rival hooligans how to cold-extract OTC drugs to leave only narcotics how to make guns and knives at home any and all types of porn, gay porn, horses fucking hookers porn dog-fighting bull-fighting murders decapitation compilations rape war-footage bombing campaigns

its all there. google it, you don't even need to boot TOR from a flash drive outside a coffeeshop and use a secure, encrypted VPN client to start surfing the real web. the “dark” web. you don't even know what’s on there. no, all of that stuff is on google. once you know this stuff exists, mainly, most people, they ignore it. they don't like it. we all know horrible stuff happens every day.

how do you build legacy, quickly? an over-night empire? seems maybe you can’t, so knowing this, the kids, they call for revolution. but what for today? we wait for nothing now and this is what they know. don't like your wrinkles? inject your face. anyone over 24 should consider it really. make-up: it’ll only get you so far. and it takes seconds. you don't need anyone even nearly like a doctor related anything to do it, either. just a girl from a shop. what could possibly go wrong? lips? cheeks? piercings? tattoos? a culture expanding as people at once require armour to protect them and imagery to define them, yet all at the expense of the seemingly increasingly expendable physical form. as they retreat into virtual reality so their ability to interact on a personal level is reduced. as they become less able to interact with different types of identities due to essentially poor socialisation through lack of experience, so they need aggressive external visual stimuli to confirm what it is they like, and by extension like to be seen doing; being; enjoying… combined with obsession in the western world with perfection of the physical form, unrealistic expectations of the human body and the now-perverted nature of sexuality, it creates people at once obsessing over how they look, yet at the same time destroying it with chemicals, inks and holes ensuring that they will never achieve the natural perfection they secretly, unknowingly programmed to strive for.

but the world, it continued despite this western regression into virtual reality. and in the meantime some terrible things have been happening.

the middle east becomes a battle ground. a global recession wipes out most peoples chances at a productive future. but these kids, none of this means anything to them. despite going global, the choices available due to the frankly poor algorithms that chose your future online, it drives the kids deeper into smaller, more extreme, more perverse groups. where all they care about is a constant rolling stream taking them down and backwards towards the last thing they saw. despite a potential global meltdown, international political upheaval, environmental catastrophe… they largely - after signing a petition maybe, or liking or sharing some corrupt culture and land destroying oil disaster waiting to happen - remain obsessed with:

what about x celebrities lips? look at the funny kitten/child/puppy limited edition gold adidas trainers cars women men food place they will never go things they will never see

they feel better. like things. re-tweet. minds so programmed to rank and number everything, this all-consuming infatuation with what the best one is, the prettiest one, the thinest… the top tens:

(search for most self/celebrity-obsessed top tens on youtube)

1. Living in a Car: Top 10 Places to Sleep 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10.

(+ add section of “i added him on snapchat, but i didn't subscribe to his youtube. channel.

and the adults, they don't understand what this means…)

when they look back, in the future, this will be the time. the time when the lines, they first started to blur.