#from the day i moved back to campus (which was sept 3rd 2022) until the day i get home from camp this summer (aug 3rd 2023)

[clumsyclifford]

x

#feeling sad #feeling like i cannot cope with the fact that i can't be every kind of person i want to be #because they contradict each other #i can't travel a lot and also be home a lot. i can't live a city life and also a suburbs life #i can't do a technical hands on job and also a music job and also a psych job like i can't #i can't have or be everything i want to have or be #i am struggling with that #but also right now i'm struggling with the fact that #currently i am at home. my bus back to school is in eleven hours. and i don't wanna go #i'm GONNA go cos i don't have a choice but i'm miserable about it #psychology explain how people get past this because i am at a fucking loss #stuff #things happen at my house and i just miss them. because i don't live here anymkre #anymore #you know i did the math #from the day i moved back to campus (which was sept 3rd 2022) until the day i get home from camp this summer (aug 3rd 2023) #i will have spent more or less ten days at home. maybe twelve. that's my generous estimate. #ten to twelve days at home in ELEVEN MONTHS. #that number makes me want to scream into a pillow and like cry on the floor #but instead i am going to go to sleep. because i have a bus to catch. in eleven hours. and then a concert to attend #and i. can't be miserable forever