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mountsmason · 1 year

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Conflicting Emotions; Part 1

summary: it was the world cup quarter-finals, with your national team England playing against France. so it was less than ideal to have a French boyfriend, as it would leave one of you completely dejected.

pairing: any French player x reader, slightly mason mount x reader

a/n: needed some angst in my life so I wrote this :))

The final whistle blew, signalling the match was over. A sudden heaviness overcame your body as you inhaled a shallow breath.

England lost the quarter-finals against France.

The atmosphere divided into two, with half the stadium erupting in sheer euphoria while the other half fell silent. Utter devastation spread amongst England supporters, as this was the outcome we were all dreading. You heard your heart shatter at the sight of your national team collapsing on the ground in anguish, trying to console themselves after having lost their chance at winning the World Cup.

You truly believed the England team gave it everything, so you were inexplicably proud of what they had achieved. All you wanted to do in that moment was hug each of them and reassure them that they played incredibly well with so much determination and passion. You glanced around the stadium, your eyes landing on your ex-boyfriend Mason, who had his face buried in his hands as the French team celebrated behind him.

Seeing Mason vulnerable like that reluctantly revived the memories of the Euros final— the same pain and heartbreak. You remember how Mason was inconsolable for days after the loss, taking a while to come to terms with how close they were to winning the final, but you were there to constantly reassure him. Despite it being a difficult time, Mason made sure you knew how much he appreciated you being there for him. A few months later, you two mutually agreed to break up and still remain good friends.

In an attempt to drown out the noise and memories, you squeezed your eyes shut while a stream of uncontrollable tears rolled down your face. Everyone’s hopes and dreams for England winning this year’s World Cup ended the second the whistle was blown. The noise didn't seem to quiet down, so you lifted your heavy eyelids, to see the French players sprinting chaotically around the pitch in a frenzy of celebration while the England players were consoling each other.

Your gaze drifted between different players, and that’s when you saw him. Your boyfriend had that perfect, irresistible grin tugging at his lips as he embraced his team; a sense of guilt washed over you. He is through to the semi-finals, so as his girlfriend, you should be ecstatic for him, yet here you are completely heartbroken at the result. Dare you say, you feel a slight resentment toward his national team. It's not fair on him, and you're well aware of it. He’s worked equally as hard as the England team to get to this stage, so you should be proud of him.

At that sudden realisation, you wiped away your tears with your sleeves before he noticed you. But it was already too late; he had seen your tear-stained cheeks, and his smile immediately faded from his face as his expression softened with worry. Under your breath, you muttered “shit,” knowing that you had ruined this moment for him.

Giving him a small smile, you pointed in the direction of the French team, telling him to enjoy himself and celebrate. He didn’t move. His gaze remained fixed on you as his brows furrowed, trying to study your expression. You gave him a more genuine smile and mouthed “go,” tilting your head towards where his team was. He slowly shuffled backwards in uncertainty, a small laugh escaping you, as he was still staring at you to see if you really were okay with it. And you were; at the end of the day, you loved to see him succeed, even if that meant winning against your own team.

The England players didn’t waste any more time on the pitch as they came into the stands, where their families and friends were waiting for them. You were also sitting here with Sasha, as you became close friends with her when you were dating Mason. While you were talking about the match with her, you saw some players trying to put on a brave face as they managed a faltering smile before completely breaking down when being comforted by their family and friends.

Mason dragged his feet up the stairs to meet his family, who were seated in the row in front of you. For a split second, your eyes met his red and puffy ones, and you knew he was in a worse state now compared to the Euros final. You watched him melt into his mum’s arms as she hugged him tightly, while his family members all took turns reassuring him and reminding him that he's done the nation proud, regardless of the result. Shortly after, Jack made his way upstairs, instantly looking for comfort in Sasha’s arms.

Mason stood on the stairs when he was finished talking to his family. He was covering his face with one hand, and rubbing his eyes while his back rested on the handrail. You took this opportunity to talk to him.

“Hey, how are you holding up?” You spoke gently with a reassuring smile as Mason moved his hand away from his face.

“Not too bad,” he mumbled, avoiding eye contact.

“Really Mason? You’re forgetting I can tell when you’re lying,” you tilt your head in the direction he was staring, trying to get him to look at you.

“I’m okay,” his voice was frail and quiet as he continued to avoid your gaze. Mason’s eyes were glossy as he fought back tears, his bottom lip trembling ever so slightly.

"Just come here," you reach up to wrap your arms around the back of Mason's neck, pulling him in for a hug. That’s when he gave up his pretence of being fine, as he didn't hesitate to wrap his arms around your waist to hold you close. He buried his head in your shoulder, letting out a muffled sob that only you could have heard. The sound of Mason breaking down was enough to flood your eyes with tears, so you had to bite the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from turning into a sobbing mess.

As your attention was fixed on Mason, you didn't notice your boyfriend watching the two of you. He was aware of your history, and because of that, he didn't know how to feel. From one perspective, he understands how a huge loss can be so devastating, so Mason will need everyone there for him, even if that includes you. But on the other hand, he can't help but feel a little jealous considering Mason was your first love and everyone knows you don’t forget them. So he was torn in that moment, the same way you were about England losing and France winning. But before his mind can conjure up the worst, his friend drags him back into the group celebration.

“You did great, all of you; you should be so proud of yourself,” Mason simply hummed in response, taking in rapid and shallow breaths as you felt your shirt dampen with his tears.

"You've given us so many amazing memories to look back on in the future. It wasn't meant to be this time, but there's another World Cup just around the corner," you reassured him, not knowing whether your words would make a difference to how Mason is feeling right now.

"Don't be so hard on yourself, because you've done us proud, you've done me proud," you felt Mason's breathing become more even against your skin.

The two of you stayed like that, with no-one interrupting you. Mason had forgotten how safe he felt in your arms, the way it silenced everything around him, and suddenly everything became more bearable. A few minutes passed before Mason lifted his head to look you in the eyes.

"How do you do it?" Mason asked, searching your eyes for the answer.

"Do what?" Your voice was barely a whisper as you brushed away the tears from his face.

"You always know exactly what to say to make me feel better,"

“It’s not difficult when I’m being honest,” you shrugged your shoulders, giving him a smile he found impossible not to return.

"Thank you, it means a lot to me that you are here," you pulled away from the hug as his grip on your waist loosened.

“You don’t have to thank me; I’m just doing what any good friend would do,” you replied, as your gaze wandered around the stadium, watching some fans begin to leave. Mason winced at this; for those few minutes, he forgot that you two were not together anymore.

"Yeah, friends," his voice was monotonous as he looks onto pitch to see your boyfriend still celebrating. You were about to say goodbye, but Mason had something else on his mind.

"Why are you with him?" His question caught you off-guard, an icy contempt flashing in his eyes.

"Mason—" you began before being interrupted.

"No, seriously, why are you actually with him? Do you guys even have anything in common? Surely you can do better than that," he narrowed his darkened eyes as they burned into the back of your boyfriend’s head in envy.

"That is my boyfriend you're talking about, and you don't know the first thing about our relationship. I’ll let your comments slide just this once because I know your emotions are running high, but next time I won't hold back," you scoffed, shaking your head in disbelief as you grabbed your handbag and explained to Sasha that you would call her later.

"Y/N, I'm sorry!" Mason called out as you walked up the stairs and out of the stadium.

➪ read part two here

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