#fortunately I'm secure enough in my identity now that it doesn't send me all the way down the questioning spiral again

[aro-absol]

I hate how when I come out to other people as aromantic I'm so often met with a version of "don't you think you'll find the one?" and them telling me that I should be open minded and not rule out dating completely.

Like, why do they feel like they need to tell me that? Those words just revive all my doubts that I shouldn't call myself aro and that I'm not "valid" as aromantic. Do they not understand that it took a lot of courage to tell them this personal thing about myself and that them immediately questioning what I've said won't make me feel better?!

It took me over a year of soul-searching to gain the confidence to use this word to describe myself and my experiences, and their first reaction to me letting them in on this knowledge is that I have to be wrong and that it's not okay for me to call myself that.

I literally would have been fine if they just said, "okay, cool."

I hate that aromanticism is still seen as something so negative that people's first reaction to a coming out as aromantic is to console the person coming out (by invalidating them).

#inspired by my coming out to my mom #and by talking to a guy that has a crush on me #fortunately I'm secure enough in my identity now that it doesn't send me all the way down the questioning spiral again #a couple months ago I would have had a full-blown identity crisis after such a response #luckily my first coming out to my bestie went great and she has my back now #aromantic #aro #vent #coming out #arophobia #aphobia