#for the purpose of going to a club and having A Nigjt

[malewifespike]

it’s crazy how genetics and addiction work because I have alcoholism in my family going back like several generations on my bio-dad’s side and yet I do NOT understand how ppl become alcoholics. like I’ve been drinking casually since I was a teenager and it’s never ever gone into problem territory simply because it Makes Me Feel Terrible…….the visceral physical revulsion I have at the thought of drinking again after a night of heavy drinking is so strong, plus the Gross Feeling u get when u start drinking early in the day and then u just feel like SHIT for the whole day…..I Do Not Understand how people drink all the time constantly like babe u have got to feel so physically ill……….no entiendo

#my mom (who is technically my bio father she’s trans) tells me about her alcoholic days #how she would drink all day and all night and then wake up and drink more…..I actually don’t understand #when I wake up after a night of drinking I would rather stab my eyeball with a fork than consume more alcohol #even just tje smell is revolting #and this isn’t meant to be shitty or insensitive I’m saying I actually physically and mentally don’t understand- #-how it’s possible to make yourself drink that consistently when it takes such a physical toll #but hey at least I know I’m gonna break the cycle lol #although I am very much dependent on weed so maybe I just swapped tjw cycle with something else lmfao #i mean don’t get me wrong I like to party I can binge drink up a storm for 1 night #for the purpose of going to a club and having A Nigjt #but I need like 3 days to recover from that I cannot imagine drinking again the next day no fucking way