#for more san guo memes check out my sideblog @grand-theft-carbohydrates

[its-not-a-pen]

First day as an early-3rd-century warlord and I am fighting in the bloodiest civil war of my country’s history. Very few records were kept during this time and even fewer have survived, but I am one of the only people of my era to have an accurate, physical description that was verified by multiple sources. Was it because of my meteoric rise from sandal-weaver to king? My heroic exploits? My compassion for the downtrodden? No. it was because my contemporaries would NOT stop roasting me about my extremely big, stupid-looking ears.

#liu bei #san guo yan yi #second century warlord #romance of the three kingdoms #last last time i exploit this format i swear. #pour one out for lu bu. mans about to be executed and goes down absolutely SWINGING. #FUCK YOU YOU TWO-FACED BIG-EARED BASTARD #i love this genre of Random Fact that Accidentally Makes History like “hegelochus sees a weasel” #ok. ok guys. yknow when cao chong was weighing his dad's elephant? #what if he was like “look 爹爹 uncle liu came to visit!” cao cao would make him heir on the spot i think. #for more san guo memes check out my sideblog @grand-theft-carbohydrates