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littlelieshq · 3 years

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hey my loyal readers, ALISE here, your one and only source of gosan’s finest. aren’t you curious about what i have in store for you today? don’t lie, of course you are! well, today’s highlight happens to be the only and only YUN EUNSANG. the yun eunsang? yes, that’s right, him. you know him, don’t you? TWENTY-ONE, JUNIOR AT GOSAN U? no? well—i don’t blame you if you don’t, if you’ve seen one gosaner, you’ve seen them all. but this one, he’s a little special—not everyone selling photos of their famous older sibling for pocket cash, after all.

interested? well why wouldn’t you be?

lucky for you i always deliver.

being mediocre isn’t so bad.

2019. as eunsang stares at his family’s christmas card, he wonders what the hell his sister had ever done to deserve this. she’s seventeen years old, already bring airbrushed to unnerving perfection so that distant acquaintances & estranged family members will find her pretty enough to stick to their fridges. but it really isn’t the editing that bothers him; that’s bound to happen no matter who the subject is. hell, his own school id photo hardly looks like him for that same reason. it’s the pose that strikes him as odd, really. the frilly santa hat, the sleeveless outfit that contrasts with the snowy background, the perfectly-curled hand with a perfectly-manicured fingernail between her teeth.

she doesn’t look like a teenage girl representing her family on a christmas card that nobody really wants to receive. she looks like some d-list model being paid to send good cheer from the yun family!, whatever the hell that means.

“you don’t really like this, do you?” he asks her, holding it up with that familiar expression of distaste. he prays for her to say no, prays for her to agree that this evident favoritism is really getting out of hand. but she just smiles at him, all-knowing.

“why wouldn’t i? you’d understand if it were you.”

she can think whatever she wants, but he’s never been more grateful for his wide jaw & chubby cheeks, how awkward they look on camera.

2021. you’ll get it next time seems to be the family motto. well, it’s the motto when eunhye is the one being spoken to, at least; there’s always the next day, the next month, the next year, the next audition. the motto for eunsang is not nearly as motivating, though — sharp eyes, accustory tone: why didn’t you try harder?

he understands. he’s not the one with the million-dollar face & his failing grades are undeniably a little more serious than his sister’s failure to be selected for some background role in a drama with ratings projected to be lower than average.

still, he learns to keep his mouth shut. doesn’t look for encouragement in his family because he knows he’ll never find it.

2022. it isn’t like eunsang’s a loser or an outcast. he has his fair share of friends who will claim that he’s fun to be around, but affection—familial, platonic and romantic—is something that his life lacks. so the first time a hand caresses his face, accompanying a gentle voice that tells him how well he’s growing into his looks, he shatters.

he knows his classmate well enough to know that she’s not really interested in him. no, she’s not interested in anything other than expensive gifts around the holidays and he already knows she had seen his sister in that breakout drama of hers. why not go for the actress’s little brother? but there’s a disconnect between his mind and his heart. a wall crumbles.

his inclination to cry at compliments always chases the girls away.

2023. his sister’s unpredicted level of fame becomes the hot topic among his friends, his peers, his mentors. there are hardly ever any concerns about how eunsang’s doing. so, he does the only thing that feels right — he picks a few fights, gives a handful of eye-rolls & seeks comfort in a local pc-bang.

no one he meets online knows who his sister is, nor do they even give a damn about who he is beyond his gamer tag and quick learning skills. it’s fun, he finds, to have something so innocent to turn to. fictional worlds where he can be whoever he wants to be, do whatever he wants to do…

gaming leads to groupchats on kakao & there always seems to be some guy getting kicked for claiming that he has an idol’s private information available for purchase. eunsang knows in his heart that what he’s thinking isn’t right, but he doesn’t seem to care.

he asks his parents for a dslr camera for graduation.

2026. eunhye thinks she has a sasaeng. to be fair, she isn’t entirely wrong — there is someone watching her a little too closely, a little too often, waiting for any slip-up or display of vulnerability. he just happens to be a lot closer than anyone knows.

it isn’t like eunsang wants to ruin her career. well, maybe he does — but it hadn’t started out that way. he’d only wanted to make some money considering how fucking greedy she is with hers (not that he wants her money, anyway — she can keep it all for all he cares) & her fanbase was so willing to greedily consume any crumbs of her life that they could, even if those crumbs painted her as being less-than-perfect. in retrospect, maybe the humanness of it all had been the appeal. she seemed so much easier to reach when she was vulnerable, didn’t she? still, he’d sent warnings with every purchase, letting it be known that bad things would happen if any of the photos were leaked. he even followed through, doxing the few users who were brazen enough to go against his word.

but his patience lessens a little every time eunhye visits him, bragging about that perfect life of hers. it’s not like his own life sucks; in fact, it’s better than ever. university has helped him become his own person rather than a boy just stuck in his sibling’s shadow, but he’s still green with envy over how their lives have played out.

“did you ever find the source of those pictures of you?… the ones from that club or whatever?” he asks one day, stepping closer to the edge of the cliff.

but she just changes the subject.

#ll:accepted #krp #fm_03 #llsp:fm

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