#fitnessdrama

[isloveworthdyingfor]

In the Serpent's Lair

(Esther Nicholette Sullivan) My fingers fumbled with the laces, yanking them into a sloppy bow. Each breath felt heavy as if I were trying to inhale through a blanket of humidity. Sweat wasn’t just from the workout; it was the anxiety, the nervous energy crackling in the air, electric and foreboding. Delilah’s usual post-class banter was absent tonight, replaced by the silent rhythm of our synchronized movements as we packed up.

“Mrs. Sullivan, can I see you back in the office for a second?” Major S’s voice, usually so steady, held an edge that cut through the tense silence.

“Of course,” I replied, my voice betraying none of the turmoil churning inside me.

Delilah’s arched eyebrow caught my attention from across the room. Her typically sunny demeanor was momentarily veiled by a flicker of concern. I responded with a pasted-on smile that didn’t reach my eyes and tried to shrug off her worry nonchalantly.

Rising to my feet, I felt the rapid thud of my heart, each beat echoing an insistent plea for escape. I moved towards his office, a sense of trepidation marking each step.

As Major S’s words began to flow, they seemed distant and distorted, as if spoken underwater—the sudden ringing in my ears muffling their clarity.

I left the door to Major S’s office slightly open—a minor act of rebellion against the stifling tension that seemed to permeate every corner of the room. As I neared his desk, I positioned myself strategically so only the back of my head was visible to Lilith, who sat rigidly in the corner chair. The air was thick with her frosty presence—her disapproval almost tangible.

A wave of guilt washed over me briefly as I questioned my motives. Was it a genuine concern for Major S’s marital troubles? Or did the tantalizing allure of forbidden fruit keep me hooked?

“Nic,” he said again, and I snapped back to the moment, his dark eyes searching mine. “You have to understand the position this puts us in.”

I nodded, though understanding was the last thing I felt. My mind raced, trying to piece together his fragmented sentences, the unspoken implications hanging heavily between us. Lilith’s shadow loomed large, a specter of doubt and malice.

“Thank you for being understanding, Nic,” Major S said, his voice a thin veil attempting to cover the tension.

“Of course.” My response was automatic, hollow.

I turned on my heel, my body rigid with a newfound defense mechanism. It wasn’t just the fear of Lilith’s unpredictable fury that frayed my nerves. It was the terrifying realization that the ground beneath me was shifting, and I wasn’t sure where to stand.

Lilith shifted in her seat, the leather creaking under her. I felt her eyes boring into me, icy and calculating. Her suspicion was a sharp knife slicing through the already taut atmosphere. I yearned for a gulp of fresh air and the freedom waiting beyond these oppressive walls.

Our eyes met—mine and Lilith’s. I stood rooted to the spot, the muscles in my arms tensed, fists clenched at my sides as Lilith’s voice cut through the silence.

“We’ve had issues in the past with inappropriate relationships between trainers and students,” she rasped, each word slicing the air with an accusation meant to wound, to mark territory.

I felt the blood rush to my face, a simmering anger bubbling up from a place I didn’t know existed within me. My heart thundered in my chest, a drumbeat urging me to fight back. “I’ve heard the rumors, too,” I shot back, the words pouring out of me like a river breaking through a dam. My voice was surprisingly steady, a testament to my growing fire. “Just because you have a history of being unfaithful does not mean that Major S will, nor does it mean that I would.”

Her eyes narrowed, but I pressed on, fueled by righteous indignation. “If you were worried about what was appropriate or not, you would have never sat in the corner and made your husband tell one person out of a group of people who all text about football that they were crossing a line.”

My breath hitched, disbelief at my audacity mingling with the adrenaline coursing through my veins. Major S’s protective nature and fierce loyalty swirled into the potent cocktail of emotions I was choking down.

“This entire interaction with you is inappropriate, and frankly, you have lost the little respect I did have for you.” The finality of my words echoed in my ears, a declaration of war I hadn’t intended to make—but now there was no turning back.

Lilith’s expression shifted subtly, her mask of control slipping just enough to reveal a flash of uncertainty. But I didn’t linger on it. With every fiber of my being screaming to flee, to escape this confrontation and its complicated web, with determination etched in my features, I took a firm step towards the exit.

Her eyes narrowed then, the initial shock giving way to a hard glint of determination as she squared her shoulders and leaned closer. “You think you’re so clever, don’t you?” she sneered, her voice low and laced with malice. “But you’re playing a dangerous game.”

“Am I?” I countered, my anger flaring hotter, mingling with something akin to exhilaration. I was standing up to Lilith Aamon, something I’d never imagined doing. The air between us was tense, our wills clashing invisibly but palpably.

“Careful, Nicolette,” she hissed, her words a serpent’s warning. “You have no idea what—”

“Enough.” The voice cut through the toxic atmosphere, firm yet calm. Delilah had appeared at my side, her posture relaxed but unyielding. She didn’t touch me, but her proximity was sunlight against the storm Lilith conjured.

Our gazes locked, and I read a thousand silent words in Delilah’s eyes. Concern was etched there, yes, but behind it, something else swirled—a kind of solidarity, perhaps, or maybe even pride. Did she approve of my newfound backbone, or did she worry about the fallout from crossing Lilith?

“Nic,” Delilah said softly, pulling me back from the brink of further confrontation. “Let’s go.”

I nodded, feeling an odd sense of detachment wash over me as if a part of my mind had taken a step back to observe the scene unfolding. The heat of my emotions cooled slightly, replaced by a steely resolve.

As we turned away, I heard Lilith’s scoff, a scornful sound meant to claw at our retreating forms. But I kept walking, Delilah at my side, the echo of our silent understanding reverberating louder than any of Lilith’s provocations.

Without a backward glance, I navigated through the maze of punching bags and weight racks, the tension in my shoulders easing with each step toward the exit. Once thunderous in my ears, my heartbeat settled into a steady drum as the gym’s fluorescent lights gave way to the night’s gentle darkness.

The chill of the night air bit at my skin as Delilah and I walked side by side, our footsteps a soft echo on the pavement. Her question lingered between us, an open invitation to unravel the knot of secrets I carried.

I glanced over, catching the moonlight reflecting off her concerned eyes. She always had this uncanny ability to read me, to sense when something was amiss. The corner of her mouth quirked up in her half-smile, patient and waiting.

“Nic?” she prodded gently, nudging me from my thoughts.

A shiver ran through me, but it wasn’t from the cold. “Delilah,” my voice broke the silence, “it’s complicated.”

“Most things worth talking about are,” she replied, her tone light but her eyes serious.

I took a deep breath, the crisp air filling my lungs. The spark with Major S was undeniably kindled in a place I thought had long since turned to ash. Yet, voicing it felt like crossing into forbidden territory—a confession that could alter everything.

“Have you ever felt drawn to someone so strongly, knowing it’s probably wrong, but...” I trailed off, unsure how to continue.

“Nic, we’re human. It happens,” Delilah said, her words a soothing balm.

The silence returned, comfortable yet charged. I could almost feel the weight of my decision resting on my shoulders. To share or to hold back? Each option came with its own set of consequences.

“Sometimes,” Delilah began, breaking into my reverie, “keeping things to yourself can be just as damaging as sharing them.”

Her insight struck a chord deep within me. I knew she was right; the pressure of holding it all in was already causing cracks to form.

“Delilah,” I said, my resolve strengthening, “I think I’m starting to have feelings for Major S. And with James... I just don’t know what to do.” The words tumbled out, a mixture of relief and trepidation flooding me.

“Hey,” she reached out, giving my hand a reassuring squeeze, “whatever happens, we’ll figure it out together.”

We arrived at my Jeep, the familiar shape of a silent sentinel in the empty parking lot. I unlocked the doors, the beep of the locks disengaging, punctuating the moment. We slid into our seats, the interior enveloping us in a cocoon of safety away from prying eyes and judgment.

“Thank you,” I whispered, gratitude warming my chest.

“Always.” Her voice was steady, a rock amidst the swirling storm of my emotions.

#drama #forbiddenlove #complicatedrelationships #standingup #womensupportingwomen #confrontation #innerstrength #findingmyvoice #loveandbetrayal #gymlife #fitnessdrama #fightingspirit #complicatedfeelings #toxicpersonalities

[shazz]

Limping our way into 2022

Like many others around the world, I started a new fitness challenge on New Year's Day. It was a kettlebell challenge (note the past tense) and completely manageable in my view, especially since I had been exercising regularly throughout the winter.

I had noticed my right knee was a bit tender on New Year's Day and chalked it up to Dr. Darling and I having walked to and from the New Year's Eve dinner we attended the night before (just over 5k in total). It for sure wasn't sore enough to keep me from starting the kettlebell challenge, which I incorporated into a bodyweight workout that also included a set of squats.

At no point did I feel as though I had overdone anything, so I was really surprised when my right knee was super achy when I got up the next day. Still, we set out on our usual Sunday morning grocery shop on foot, and we weren't even halfway there when I knew I was in trouble. The pain was so bad that we ended up grabbing a couple of rental bikes because I did not think I could walk all the way there and back.

We zipped through the store as fast as we could manage with me leaning heavily on the shopping cart for support. Then we biked home and I immediately started the RICE regimen (rest, ice, compression, elevation). We also positioned Dr. Darling's exercise bars at strategic locations around the apartment so that I could keep as much weight off the knee as possible.

And it all seemed to be working. The pain was lessening, and as of Tuesday afternoon it was only really ouchy when I first stood up after sitting (or sleeping) for a while.

By Wednesday morning I was slowly walking around the apartment in even less discomfort and was confident that I was on-the-mend when I felt (and heard) something "pop". This was not good, because afterward, I could no longer put any weight on my right knee at all. It was definitely time to consult a medical professional, but it was also the day before a holiday (Epiphany is a public holiday in Sweden) ... which seems to be the story of my life.

I was able to speak to a nurse who consulted two doctors and the recommendation was that I see a physical therapist ASAP, which in this case is Monday morning. So I am preparing for a long holiday weekend on one leg, which ... based on my experience over the last 24 hours ... is a lot harder than it sounds.

Please send a good thought Dr. Darling's way ... because in addition to having to do a lot of fetching for me for the next couple of days, she whacked one of her toes on the base of the gym bar in the hallway (pictured above). Something she had cautioned me about multiple times before she did it herself.

So now she is limping, too. But at least she can walk.

#fitnessdrama #dr. darling #scrawls