#female homosexuality isn't biphobic

[olderthannetfic]

https://olderthannetfic.tumblr.com/post/735066906548191232/calling-mf-relationships-straight-anon-i-would#notes

You know it would have been 100% more helpful if you'd just added the link, because like this I had to use tumblrs dreadful search function to figure out which parts you were specifically refering/answering to. /post/734652801973616640/what-word-should-i-use-biphobic-heteronormative#notes Now I'm gonna write unreasonably long response, so skip if you don't wanna read, bc I'm currently running on energy drinks and bad decisions.

1 It might surprise you but I can and do both. I in fact tell a lot of people not to assume a couple is heterosexual or homosexual just because of how they "appear." I can do both lol.

2 If they can get married or not has absolutely nothing to do with my issue as such. I'm really confused why you even bring this up since my focus was on how M/F relationships are treated in queer spaces, and how people always default to straight or gay, instead of just not doing that since queer is more than just "straight" or "gay". Maybe it was because I mentioned not liking the way straight passing/straight passing privilege is used? But that still is a different layer of the issue I have with the term itself and how it's applied in queer spaces to treat non-homo queer identities. I do think the term has its valid uses, but there's a difference between "you can't be queer if you're in a M/F relationship, because even though you're queer that privilege means you shouldn't enter queer (safe) spaces" and "SPP is when you don't need to fear from the Government or bigots for being out with your opposite gender partner." Though that doesn't take into consideration what happens if a M/F couple might not fit the typical cis normative and heteronormative gender roles. A feminine man, and/or a masc woman in a relationship can still experience open queerphobia. A lot of people do not acknowledge that even straight passing privilege isn't as cut and dry and "M/F", but comes also with the need to uphold a certain type of gender conforming role in society. Anyway, I'm objecting to the use specifically of "straight" as a way to other bisexual, and other non-straight relationships and how it's actively used to push M/F couples or M/F presenting relationships out of queer spaces, even when one or both people are queer. This includes relationships with trans, enbies, and other queer identities. Because it happens and it's not rare that even the queer community has tried to erase or push out bisexuals, and other non-monosexual queer identities. 3 My question more along the lines: Why the need to "gender" a relationship to begin with? As in why do you need to label a relationship as straight or gay just by looking at someone? Especially by queer people. Why is it ok to use that "binary" in queer spaces to exclude queer people because they're on the "wrong" side of the binary? A binary, hetero or homo, they don't even belong to? How often do you actually need to label someone else's relationship? We know the gender binary is bullshit, but people in queer spaces still decide to uphold certain binaries in so many aspects, and then judge you based on the binary they uphold, instead of you actual identity. It always seems to be much more acceptable to other and mess around with the identities of bisexuals and pansexuals, or other identities that fall outside the monosexual binary of homo and hetero, or the even the gender binary of male and female presenting.

Add-on: I also see bisexual relationships be labelled gay and it becoming a big thing in queer fandoms to erase their bisexuality, or of course pansexual character, even when one or both characters are bi, and then they get claimed under just the homosexual label, aka "Lesbians" or "Gay." This happened with Korrasami, Bubbline, and recently Lumity, even though each of these relationships has at least 1 bisexual character. I still see fandom wank about these relationships and how people are "erasing" lesbians when they state that the bisexual character is in fact bisexual, or how people label them under the lesbian identity for both. This happens with males as well, but it's more visible with female presenting relationships and characters. And obviously on the other end, when queer characters get labelled as straight, and then suddenly their actual queer sexuality doesn't count and they get treated as bad rep, or as not-valid because they aren't performing queerness on the right side of the monosexual binary. An example from recent times was Owl Houses HunterxWillow, where even though Hunter is bi and Willow is said to be pan, people disregarded their queerness because it was an implied M/F relationship sp people started wank about it being a "straight relationship" and doesn't count. Obviously there are more instances, but Owl house is more recent in my memory and this is long enough.

Ps: I don't care what you label your own relationship. I'm speaking in general terms, and I do not decide or speak for each individual bisexual, or pansexual or w/e. I'm speaking on my observations on how the label "straight" has been used to treat bisexuals and pansexuals as less valid or even completely erase their identity the moment they enter a M/F presenting relationship.

Pps: The first post was just a tired vent, and more of a throwaway thing. Not sure what this is, but I'll try avoid the energy drinks for now.

--

[alexsaxonexposed]

stormwitchfaerie This is such fucking bullshit. Comedians make fun of everyone and everything because if u take yourself and everything else too seriously this kind of cancelling bs happens. Leave people alone. Alex isnt even doing anything to hurt anyone. This has gotten way out of hand.

Comedians DO NOT GET A FREE FUCKING PASS TO MAKE JOKES ABOUT MARGINALIZED COMMUNITIES.

I get it that you don't understand that transphobia isn't just murdering/assaulting trans people.

Do you know what I've been doing here? Helping trans fans, who are hurt by his actions. Because, yes, liking transphobic tweets and following transphobic people hurts his trans fans. Blocking them doesn't help either.

Funny how you ignored everything I said on that post. THIS ISN'T CANCELLING. Do the big letters help? Or can you still not understand it? He had an opportunity to explain himself and instead he blocked people and tried to pretend like it didn't happen

This is from GLAAD. Are you really gonna say that GLAAD is overreacting? Do you understand that even "jokes" against marginalized communities are not actually "jokes" to us?

This is only overreacting to you because you don't actually care about trans people. And since you don't I will say this more clearly. Get the fuck off my page because it clearly isn't for you.

stormwitchfaerie: He's literally doing nothing. These people arent even transphobic. Theyre making fun of the cancelling of people who

Liking tweets and supporting the platforms of awful bigotted people isn't doing nothing. Blocking people when they point out their disappointment in you liking a transphobic tweet and following transphobic people isn't doing doing nothing.

I literally don't know who told you this, but they lied to you. These people are transphobic and have done more than just make fun of cancel culture.

JK Rowling has been known for her transphobic views since before cancel culture was a thing. Also the fact that she's racist, antisemitic, homophobic, etc.

Dr Jordan B Peterson is literally well known as being part of the starting block of the alt-right pipeline. He is not the only person on his follow list that are a part of it. He's made his sexism, fatphobia, and transphobia extremely clear. Also that he's against climate change.

Ben Shapiro says that homosexuality and being transgender is a mental illness and a sin. When Elliot Page came out he referred to it as "pathetic, creepy, and disgusting." He is against same-sex couples adopting children. And so much more. These things are all transphobic and homophobic

Quillette/Claire Lehmann: Putting these two together because Lehmann founded Quillette and she pops up enough in Saxon's likes. Quillette is a magazine founded by Lehmann that was initially focused on science. Transphobic (poses the idea that "transgenderism is dangerous") and also against feminism because "men are the real victims." Someone once sent a fake article and they published it without fact checking. 

Glenn Greenwald: Transphobic: claimed that trans and non-binary people are actually cis lesbians who are being pressured to identify as trans/non-binary. Chelsea Manning, a trans woman, openly spoke out against him and he retaliated by publishing private DMs from her in his replies. Biphobic: categorizes bisexual relationships as "hetero-appearing" and "gay/lesbian-appearing."

Ian Miles Cheong: Transphobic--misgendered trans women, publicly shames non-binary as an identity in doubting its existence (Call of Duty once had an option for Male, Female, and Non-Binary and he publicly called it "historically inaccurate", etc). 

Kara Danksy: Transphobic. Profile is cut off, but I feel it illustrates everything perfectly: Feminist fighting for the sex-based rights of women and girls. Publicly speaking out about the 'gender identity' industry. All tweets my own. Furthermore, she published a book in November of 2021: "The Abolition of Sex: How the 'Transgender' Agenda Harms Women and Girls." The title speaks for itself.

All of these are transphobic actions and not the only ones that they have committed. They probably aren't even the only bigotted actions they've committed. And I'm sure you'll notice that none of these people are comedians. Although I should repeat that even if they were, comedians do not actually get a free-pass to say bigotted things as a joke. Especially when they are not a part of the punchline.

Their actions hurt the trans community. He hurt his trans audience. Instead of spewing bullshit and trying to defend a man that you will never meet and will never actually care about what you say, try listening and seeing why people are upset.

But since you seem incapable of understanding the fact that this type of behavior causes damage. I will help you out. Here's some fan reactions by both trans audience members and actual allies

(Side Note: if anyone that is in these photos would like them removed please let me know and I'll do it)

There's a lot more where that came from. Check out our Twitter. Since the likes are public you'll have no problem finding these and more if you scroll down a bit. https://twitter.com/SaxonExposed

And if you still have a problem and don't understand the accountability I'm searching for. Just get off my page. Just get off. It's simple. You don't care about what I, the other mod, trans fans, and actual trans allies are doing when we call him out on this shit. It'll save us all time if you just left.

I mean I'm gonna block you again, right after I post this. But again you can just leave and ignore us. That's what Alex is doing to the people who call him out anyway, take a page out of his book.

~ Lachesis

#Literally just leave if you choose to be this obtuse that you think any of the fucks that he follows aren't transphobic #a simple google search with their names and transphobia (and more) proves you wrong

[rantingcrocodile]

May ask another question? When I say that a bi sexual woman in a relationship with a man is heterosexual relationship I mean in way that is by the definition so for example a heterosexual relationship means two people of the opposite sex it does not take into account the persons individual sexualitys, so if a bisexual women was dating another women I would as easily say that is a lesbian relationship, because by definition a relationship between two women of the female sex is a lesbian relationship.

So I want to now why is it Biphobic to say this?

I've already touched on that with the other question, so let me answer by asking you a few questions.

Why is it okay for both of those two sexualities to be referenced in a relationship setting, but there's no mention of bisexuality at all?

Why is it that our sexuality has to be erased to fit into the "heterosexual" or "homosexual" boxes?

Why is it too much to ask to have relationships described as "opposite-sex" or "same-sex" instead, so it includes us?

I don't know about you, but I feel extremely uncomfortable in describing two bisexual women in a relationship as being "in a lesbian relationship," because that implies that they're both lesbians, when neither of them are, and neither of them have a lesbian experience of the world.

So why is it that bisexuals are presumed to have a heterosexual experience if they're in an opposite-sex relationship? Or if the relationship is between a bisexual woman and a bisexual man?

We can talk about literal definitions all day long, but the term "heterosexual" is synonymous with "straight," and "lesbian" and "gay" refer to homosexuality, of which bisexuals are neither.

This is also why there's so much confusion and anger. There's this desire to erase bisexuals as being in "heterosexual relationships," but when bisexuals don't have the terms to describe how our experiences aren't straight but bisexual, then some will describe themselves as gay instead - which is then attacked as them being homophobic.

If there was actually inclusive language and an understanding that bisexuals only have a bisexual experience, then there wouldn't be that kind of outrage.

It isn't even a difficult solution. It's really easy, it starts a better understanding and avoids LG upset at bisexuals who misuse words for a lack of our own language.

#crocodilian answers

[josephandmarycore]

obviously bisexual women can and often will perform same sex desire for the male gaze, but heterosexual and even homosexual women do this too. and while this is obviously harmful to lesbians (and indirectly to female sexuality as a whole) it's not like other bisexual women aren't impacted by the idea that our sexuality is only for male consumption. and people also seem to forget that the bi women who perform in this way are victims too. giving into the misogynistic and homo/biphobic ideas propagated by society and feeling obliged to display your sexuality for men isn't a sign of privilege, it's a sign of oppression. anyway bisexual women aren't just airheaded sluts who want to make out with their female friends so their boyfriends give them some attention before they fuck them heterosexual until the next friday night party. and if that description fits a bi woman you know it's probably because you're not crediting her with the complexity and depth she is owed.

#this will be incoherent #bisexuality

[callioscope]

Maybe I understood it wrong but isn't that screenshot you posted with the caption "they're mad Everytime a bisexual woman isn't erased" from an interview with a female director talking about how the press refused to use the word lesbian to describe the lesbian main character of the movie or something like that?

It’s a screenshot from this article which quotes this article from Advocate. The Advocate article is about movies with queer female love stories - it’s not about exclusively homosexual people at all. Often you’d see people use “lesbian” to refer to all wlw, but this article opted (mostly) for more accurate terminology that doesn’t implicitly erase bi women. It still does use “lesbian” as an umbrella term several times though.

There’s no way to win with biphobes. If you call all wlw “lesbian couples” and “lesbian romance” and “lesbian stories” you’re calling bi women lesbians and “erasing the definition of lesbian.” If you use other, more accurate words, it’s “erasing lesbians” because you’re not using the word lesbian as much. The result is that any time bi women aren’t erased, some homosexual women will claim that they’re being erased. Idk if it’s a conscious, malicious act of biphobia, or just because they can only conceptualize themselves as victims in every scenario? Idk what exactly motivates these angry, rambling articles about how lesbians are being attacked from all sides just because bi women are not always erased from conversations about wlw.

[goldfyshie927]

I'm not as extreme as the last person who said something, and I /know/ you didn't ask, but pls hear me out. I'm a bisexual female and I really enjoy having sex with my male partner, who makes sure I feel just as good as he does each time we have sex. I hate how a significant number of the LGBTQA community generalize and look down upon heterosexual sex as something to be made fun of/something that isn't as great as homosexual sex. I've even had LGBTQA members tell me I'm not bi anymore.. it sucks

I’m glad you enjoy it! That post was reblogged based on MY opinion and MY experiences with have sex with a man. I, in no way, feel that my experiences are meant to reflect anyone else’s or that I am the subject matter expert on all things heterosexual, bisexual, or gay, and I post content that I like and agree with. Bisexuality is a real and valid sexuality and if you’re happy in a healthy relationship with a man, that’s awesome! I’m happy for you. I don’t think being in a same sex or opposite sex relationship invalidates your bisexuality one way or another. Please stop trying to make the claim that I am biphobic. If you want to have a discussion in more depth, message me off anon.

#anon asks #ask away!