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jawsofbalmung · 2 years

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As forewarned promised, my extremely biased culprit/killer ratings based on nothing but physical attractiveness. Disclaimer: I am gay. Also my idea of who is considered a "true culprit" may be a bit weird so bear with me. Spoilers for all ten games!

Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney:

1. Frank Sahwit: 0/10. You are nothing. His case lasts 5 minutes and he is ugly. I am not any more endeared seeing him in aai2.

2. Redd White: 2/10. Only gets a 2 because a friend told me about him a long time ago and I thought he was more of a major character and that he would become a blorbo. I was wrong, but I feel kinda bad for being wrong.

3. Dee Vasquez: 4/10. Woman, but pretty cool. Has the mafia on her side, so that's a plus.

4. Yogi Yanni: -10/10. Gross old man.

5. Manfred von Karma: -50000/10. Fuck you die.

6. Jake Marshall: 5/10. Cowboy if you're into that, but I'm personally not that much.

7. Damon Gant: -1/10. Not as bad of an old man as you could've been.

Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney 2: Justice for All:

1. Richard Wellington: 6.5/10. Pretty boy. Cool ringtone. Could be hotter.

2. Mimi Miney: 4/10. Woman. Not very memorable, but cute anyway.

3. Morgan Fey: 1/10. Old woman.

4. Acro: 6.5/10. Would like him better with his hair down, but he's literally the only aa character in a wheelchair and I like him.

5. Matt Engarde: 8/10. FINALLY a hot villain. Very, very cute before he goes evil, but gets worse when he drops his facade I think tbh.

6. Shelley DeKiller: 2/10. Again could be a worse old man, and I saw cool fanart of him once.

Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney 3: Trials and Tribulations

1. Dahlia Hawthorne: 6/10. Woman, but I love her. If you're into high femmes, that's the one for you.

2. Luke Atmey: 2/10. Looks like Spamton Deltarune.

3. Ron Delite: 7/10. Adorable twink.

4. Fiero Tigre: 4/10. Smh the original is always better than the bootleg.

5. Viola Cadaverini: 4/10. Woman. Really skinny. Not much to say.

6. Godot: 9/10. You KNOW my mans is getting a high score <3

Apollo Justice Ace Attorney:

1. Kristoph Gavin: 9273897/10 AAAAAAA

2. Alita Tiala: 4/10. Another high femme woman.

3. Daryan Crescend: 4/10. Could be hotter if his hair wasn't Like That.

4. Valant Gramarye: 3/10. Could be a hotter old man.

Ace Attorney Investigations: Miles Edgeworth:

1. Jacques Portsman: 3/10. Major Eh vibes from this guy.

2. Cammy Meele: 4/10. Another kinda cute but not that memorable woman.

3. Lance Amano: 5/10. Femme. Not much else to say. I like his hair.

4. Ernest Amano: 0/10. Yeah. Old man.

5. Callisto Yew: 5/10. Another high femme woman, I think her sprites are cute tho.

6. Quercus Alba: -10/10. Gross old man.

Ace Attorney Investigations 2: Prosecutor's Path:

1. Horace Knightley: -100/10. Nasty.

2. Patricia Roland: 3.5/10. Woman. Her fox is the best part of her.

3. Dane Gustavia: 5.5/10. Really cool design but not my type. His song is sick tho.

4. Blaise Debeste: -10000/10. Nasty gross man with a terrible beard. Nasty.

5. Simon Keyes: 8.5/10. LOVE him. I am not immune to a sexy clown. Sorta awkward but cute before, but letting his hair down really did it for me.

Ace Attorney: Dual Destinies:

1. Ted Tonate: -1/10. Gross.

2. Florent L'Belle: 2/10. Ehhh.

3. Aristotle Means: -50/10. He scares me.

4. Bobby Fullbright: 3/10. I want him to be hot so bad. I call him Midbright.

5. Aura Blackquill: 6/10. I like her!! Her hair is stupid tho.

6. Marlon Rimes: 2.5/10. Extremely grossly skinny pre-transformation, weirdly buff post-transformation.

The Great Ace Attorney: Adventures:

1. Jezaille Brett/Asa Shinn: 4/10. I love her swan hat.

2. Magnus McGuilded: -500/10. He makes me SO uncomfortable to look at.

3. Ashley Greydon: 8/10. I like him. Weirdo twink. <3

Ace Attorney: Spirit of Justice:

1. Pees'lubn Andistan'dhin: 2/10. He looks like my stepdad. No thanks.

2. Roger Retinz: 3/10. Robert Downey Jr. That's all I have to say.

3. Tahrust Inmee: 2/10. Sorry not into the skinny bald thing going on. He's a good man tho.

4. Beh'leeb Inmee: 4/10. Plain, but not bad woman.

5. Geiru Toneido: 5/10. The big one. Personally I do not have a bad case of clussy fever, but her design is cute! She reminds me of Pinkie Pie.

6. Ga'ran Sigatar Khura'in: 3/10. Her evil design unnerves me. She's overall just pretty mid of a villain.

7. Pierce Nichody: 9.5/10. Bro.... When he brings out the mask and the scalpel I can't handle it.... I was hoping he would be a villain from the beginning because I knew it would be hot if he was....

The Great Ace Attorney 2: Resolve:

1. Raiten Menimemo: 7/10. Kind of a twunk. Reblog.

2. William Shamspeare: 2/10. I appreciate the commitment but not for me thanks.

3. Olive Green: 4/10. Woman, but she's cute!

4. Enoch Drebber: 8/10. Auughh.

5. Courtney Sithe: 8/10. Hottest woman. Almost converted me.

6. Seishiro Jigoku: 5.5/10. Could be hotter if he didn't look like hipster Rasputin.

7. Mael Stronghart: 9/10. How did this happen to me. I did not like him before but now I do. What happened.

#ace attorney #feel free to boo throw tomatoes etc #my tastes are very specific and strange you must understand

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zelos-official-armrest · 5 years

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Seoul Limited and Forever with Babyz (Madrid)

I’m about half a year late, but I just want to share a bit of my B.A.P concert experiences both in Seoul Limited and Forever With Babyz tour in Madrid. You know, if anyone’s interested…

First of all, how did I get to Seoul? I applied for a month-long summer university program and I got a smaller tuition fee thanks to my schools being partner universities. Still, it took me about 5 years to get enough funds. I’m not going to talk much about that in here, but it was the most amazing time of my life. I do advise everyone not to ONLY go there for running after a potential Korean boyfriend tho. The culture is so much more than kpop-related fantasies.

Ok, on to the actual topic- B.A.P. While in Seoul, I did want to see the TS building with my own two eyes (so I’d know where to go to throw the tomatoes, haha). Therefore, one evening me and my fellow coursemate/ friend went to look for it, but apparently that day B.A.P and TRCNG had a practice there as it came out. When we approached the building, Zelo was chatting with someone in front of the house, but seeing us coming scared him off and he fleed to the building. I felt so sorry for him, because it must be a common occurrence for them to not get privacy even there by the way he reacted. So, I got nervous because I really wanted to have a picture in front of the building, but I didn’t want to be causing any discomfort to them. Me and my friend decided to take a picture real quick and I kinda got my two half-blurry pictures in front of the building.

Here’s potato me making TS surrender to the Matoki power:

When we stood back a bit, I saw TRCNG entering the house and we decided to leave. While we were walking away, around the corner came Himchan who was, for some reason, followed (basically cornered) by a bunch of blonde chicks (stalkers I guess?). Since I was a bit too close, for some reason I thought it would be really impolite if I didn’t say anything so I bowed and let out „annyeonghaseyo“ (It’s really weird to type it out like that). He answered me with a nod and when he had entered TS, some Korean fans who were following set themselves to wait outside the doors. That was the last we saw them as we moved further away from the place…

Before going to the summer program and buying the plane tickets to Korea, I didn’t know B.A.P would have a concert. When it was announced, I praed for the dates to overlap with my stay. I was incredibly lucky, because B.A.P’s first Seoul Limited concert was on the last day of my stay. The day itself was super-hot (38+ degrees) and I had a lot of troubles from moving out the dorms with all of my luggage etc. In the morning I managed to go to the venue to buy some merch (got myself a matoki whistle and a t-shirt). In the afternoon, there were already fansites distributing free merch (got also 2 banners, but I lost my shiny Zelo banner at the concert T_T).

The queueing was so different from European stops, where we camp in front of the venes. Here you had a number on a ticket and you just went and looked for your spot in the line and everything went smoothly. I actually had bought two tickets, because I was hoping for someone to go with me (and to get more people to appreciate B.A.P, lol). I did manage to get a friend from the program to come with me, so it was a success. The venue was really well ventilated and the sound system was great. B.A.P had a live band to back them up and they put on a great show as always. Too bad I couldn’t really understand much when they did their talking. In the crowd, there was a couple and B.A.P pointed at them and stated that „This is how you take your girlfriend out. You take her to a B.A.P concert !“, and they continued to chat for a bit. The best things from the concert- Coma rock version, Blind and small snipets from songs fans had selected as the ones they want to hear from B.A.P the most, watergun fight, new solos and tons of adlibs. Even though my ticket queue number was quite big, the stage was so well built that when idols came off from the main stage to those cat-walks, I had maybe only 2 rows of people in front of me making it the closest I’ve been at a concert.

This is basically how I saw them went they came near:

But there is one thing I found different from previous concerts. I don’t know if it was because I was really nervous about my flights and everything that day, but the crowd in Europe felt more passionate. I guess it is just in the way we cheer. I mean, their fanchants and everything was on point, but somehow it felt more calm and collected that I was used to. Either way, I loved that I could be there with OT6 and that Jongup released his cute MV for Annoying as a memory of that day. Oh, oh, and I finally got on Himchan’s fancam J. Really blurry, but I know it’s me. Thank you Channie!

Moving on to my Madrid experience. At first, I didn’t really plan to go to another tour because I’d already seen them this year, but the fact that there were tickets with best perks I never really managed to get before still available started creeping on me. I had to decide whether to wait for the mess that was Berlin ticket sale or settle for the Madrid one. I decided to save myself from the excess stress and take the Madrid VVIP. I don’t regret going one bit even though the Youngbros organisation was freaking awful. As VVIP holders, we were promised more time at the high-touch than VIP but nothing like that happened. The signed poster was actually just printed on and they had ran out of black beanies before even half the VVIPs could pass the counter.

Just a small look at the merch etc:

The worst thing was that they messed with B.A.P’s sound system so some time the microphones didn’t really work and the security guys didn’t pay any attention to people fainting in the crowd, which Daehyun and Zelo had to point out to them (Zelo tried to get their attention in Spanish, Daehyun wanted to stop the song to resolve the case) and Jongup threw his own water bottle to fans in need. The concert itself was really good (even though we still missed Bang and were chanting his name from time to time). I loved being able to hear Howler in it’s Spanish home and Zelo went wild with the butt-slaps and butt-wiggles. During Do What I Feel, he threw his towel to the crowd and guess who was the lucky one to catch it! It still has his makeup on tho :D.

Haha, towel-kun has seen some things... At this point I knew. For 5 years, I didn’t manage to choose a bias in B.A.P. That was the day my bias chose me (lolololol)

The only kind of OK clips that I got from the concert was Youngjae’s acapella “I’m happy” and Jongup’s “Try my luck”, because I was trying to enjoy the concert too much which resulted in my hands being extra shaky.

There was also a lottery where they chose a random number and a fan for every member got a small canvas bag with member’s drawing and autograph on it. And a hug. At some point, Youngjae managed to hurt his shoulder, I hope he is ok now. Them teaching us the fanchant for All the way up was pretty memorable since they almost booed Daehyun off the stage because he couldn’t contain himself and do the right thing. And Zelo just went like “OMG, it’s our song”. We also had a support project for Himchan where we held his banners and chanted his name.

My high-touch experience. While we were standing in a line, the organisers started to let B.A.P take their positions near the wall. To get there, B.A.P walked through a small bordered area which was right next to where some of us were queueing. I noticed Himchan and told him “annyeong” for which he raised his head, looked at me and just had the cutest smile ever on his face. I made Himchan smile, everyone! I don’t know if he noticed that this is the one person who never manages to greet him correctly (me in Warsaw, Seoul and now Madrid). He was also first in line at high-touch and he was still so extra smiley at me.

To sum up the high-touch experience, this is basically it:

B.A.P with their beautiful hands vs Me coming from a jungle

And then this 1 second you had to admire all the beauty

I mean, there were so many things I wanted to say (just one sentence to each member), but I couldn’t do anything because it was too fast. I tried to tell them stuff in English or Korean, but they tried to tell me stuff in Spanish and in English and it was honestly such a mess. It was so funny. Then right after we had the group photo so I fastened my steps and got next to Zelo. After everything I just had to go to him. I could tell he did something over my head while taking the picture since he was touching it, but I had no actual idea what. The picture turned out better than I expected. I am not really good friends with cameras, specially when I don’t even know, where the cameraman is or when the picture is exactly taken. Got the cutest photo ever and I will now officially present my short ass as “Zelo’s armrest” since this is what he used me as.

Tbh, I had to photoshop my face on the picture a bit, because the camera reflected on me so bad that I looked like a Christmas tree in a Colgate commercial. Literally.

Anyways, after the short time for pictures, I could pass by all of them again and thanked them, especially Zelo, when I turned around. I love them all so much and I had soft hours for days after we got to know that Zelo shouldn’t have even been on the tour but he insisted to come. Made it all 10 times more memorable and important.

I wish I could also go to Yongguk’s tour. I don’t know if it’s possible, because I have already emptied my bank account for them. So I guess we’ll see what happens. I hope he receives a lot of love and support anyways.

That’s it, folks!

#bap #b.a.p #bapinmadrid #seoul limited #concert experience

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