#feed themselves? and that isnt to say we're going to be happy doing it but i guess satisfied that its helping someone instead of quietly

[puppyeared]

i wrote this as a joke because I wanted to strangle a guy watching tiktoks without headphones on the bus, but im genuinely disturbed that we've gotten to a point where convenience comes first. and it depresses me even more that its used to justify and monetize greed

#like we have so many ways of doing things that could help us in the long run but because we're told it requires more work we just cant #its too resource intensive. or maybe its too much to maintain. we have to overlook benefits so money can go into more important things #we teach each other to do things a certain way so it works for everyone but who was it convenient for first? what abt who it might hurt? #i have to wonder if the rules our current system uses is worth listening to or following if it doesnt have our best interests in mind. u an #me and the ppl around us.. would we be better off if i ate my meals knowing the person who grew it wanted to feed others the way they could #feed themselves? and that isnt to say we're going to be happy doing it but i guess satisfied that its helping someone instead of quietly #accepting that itll eventually go in the dumpster behind a grocery store because it stopped looking appetizing or it wasnt on sale anymore #what about building homes so we can shelter each other? what if we were satisfied with what we did because we knew it would be paid back #with kindness? isnt that what we evolved to do?? heal each others bones and tell stories and help each other?? #why dont houses come with solar panels or generators unless we find a way to make people pay to use the sun? why is our pooled money used #to fund genocides instead of education and hospitals? whose interests and convenience came first when we started this?? #i wont pretend to know the answer because i dont. but we all know we're miserable and im sorry to say that i cant see myself fighting #for a world that wont fight for me too. why do we work if we cant live from it?? why did they stop us from plucking more teeth from our #bosses until they could build more walls around themselves and then go back to underpaying us?? #im so tired. i cant even imagine making it to age 70 #yapping #vent

[writing-good-vibes]

what am i supposed to do?

is this my first lester-centric bit? maybe it is (even though i cant help but talk bout the terrible twins). i love @early20sfailingplenty dearly which is why i am inflicting this on her. this is a sort of dark!lester i guess? a lester who knows the twins are fucked up but isnt going to do anything about it. warning for angst and murder mentions.

Lester loved his brothers, he supposed, as much as anyone loves their family.

The sun is still barely above the horizon as he leaves Ambrose, having left the twins with a racoon he'd scrapped up off the road about 10 miles outta town. It was still in fairly good condition and not even close to the meat spoiling in the sun. It'd feed them for a day or so.

Lester had to skin and debone everything for Bo and Vincent or else they'd never eat it, both too squeamish to even go near the carcass let alone prepare it for cooking. So, Lester does it, out in the yard while the twins watch from the back door. Bo gags and Vincent laughs, before catching sight of the entrails that Lester is pulling from the inner cavity and turning away.

He warns them about cooking the meat properly and they grumble in response.

(We're not children, they say.)

Lester smiles cheerily and hops down the steps of the front porch, jumping in his truck and pulling away. Bo and Vincent watch him from the door, absently elbowing each other as they struggle to fit both of them in the door frame.

Lester glances up at the rear-view mirror a few times as the house fades into the distance and finally his smile can drop. He leans back heavily in his seat, hands clenching and unclenching on the steering wheel.

The shit he puts up with.

There was a long day ahead of him. Hours of back-breaking labour, and for what? Minimum wage and the pick of the roadkill?

It was a shitty job, for shitty pay, and people always had to voice their shitty opinions on the matter. But it was more than that, always had been. He got this job when he turned 18 and he couldn't stand being at home anymore. He worked for six months before he saved enough to buy a run-down trailer and get the hell outta dodge.

Even when he ached to the bone and his electricity got cut off, it was better than Ambrose. Better than the loneliness of a dwindling town and a house that felt like a foreign land.

Lester loved his brothers, he supposed, but more than anything, he felt sorry for them.

They weren't ever going to get away. Ambrose had a hold on them, like it did for anyone who stayed too long. But Lester wasn't stupid, not in the slightest, and he got out while he still could.

After the twins finished high school, Bo was borderline agoraphobic. Whether he couldn't leave town, or was just happier not to, was up for debate. Either way, he never strayed more than 20 miles away, unless Vincent came with him. Vincent himself wasn't much better, moody and sullen for weeks after he dropped out of college, but glued to Bo's side all the same.

When Lester was a kid, he hated the twins as much as he loved them. It was always Bo and Vincent. And then Lester made three. Except it was never three. Three was a crowd.

Now, he was ambivalent at best. Now he had a life of his own and he didn't need to third wheel with his brothers anymore. What did they have that he would even want?

They lived in a goddamn ghost town, surrounded by corpses and barely surviving. They were letting themselves rot away and they didn't even notice. Or didn't care. Happy to while away their days, talking in a language no one else could understand and making plans they knew they'd never be able to fulfil. Lester didn't know anymore. Didn't care anymore.

How could he?

He did his bit to placate them. Lured people in and kept the twins fed, in more ways than one.

Lester could spare them some time, he supposed, safe in the knowledge that he wasn't trapped. That the town hadn't gotten him. That the twins, in all their ruthless, reclusive, self-sabotaging glory, hadn't got him.

No, they'd never bring him back. Not now.

#lester sinclair #bo sinclair #vincent sinclair #house of wax 2005 #house of wax #man idk what this is #i just got the thought in my brain of lester being lowkey smug about how he'd got out of ambrose #whilst bo and vincent are so obsessed and reclusive and co-dependent #lester is actually kinda out here thriving #this is defo to an extent a dark au for les #like irl i think he really loves the twins #but just by virtue of their dynamic #he is never as involved with the whole thing #or with them #as they are with each other #they think they could live without him but they cant #and lester knows it so it makes him feel just the tiniest bit superior #lester deserves better #erika you get tagged just because who else am i to inflict this on #and you fuelling my brain rot for les ?? ily dearly this is the thanks you get #im sorry #this city's cold and empty