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ilyhaitanii · 2 months

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101 tips on how to burn soup ft. haitani bros

sfw. after living with you for 2 years now, neither haitani brother has ever touched the stove-- mainly because you're afraid of them burning down the house, but what chaos will ensue when you fall ill and the two brother have to learn how to operate the kitchen gas stove?

the haitani brother are men of many talents, however cooking has never been their strong suit. since the three of you moved into this dingy apartment when you all started college, it's been mainly you who has done the cooking. they deal with their fair share of chores.

for example, ran dusts everything in the house since he's able to reach the top of the bookshelf without a stool. rindou's job is to take everyone's laundry to the laundromat across the street and fold them. he finds it therapeutic being able to fold clothes as he watches the new episode of "new girl."

in the two years you've all been here, never once have either of them cooked an actual meal besides an instant pack of noodles. now with you sick and bedridden, they're at a loss. how does one make congee? or should they make soup? or both?

ran sighs heavily as he stirs the pot of chicken broth, watching the veggies and spider-man shaped pasta swirl around in the liquid. rindou's carefully trying to dice the onions without his retinas feeling like they're going to seer off his eyeballs.

"i dont get how they do this," rindou tearfully says, hissing as his eyes water painfully. ran chuckles from behind him, his ankle brushing against rindou's heel.

"i have no idea. i think they just do it," rindou glares at ran, elbowing his older brother in the side.

"well no shit, sherlock. i would've never guessed that!" the younger boy grumbles as he finished cutting the onions. "goddamn these are strong," he presses the sleeve of his sweater against his eyes to dry the tears.

"go stand outside, it'll help," you sniffle as you walk out the bedroom with a blanket wrapped around you. there's a tissue comically stuffed up your left nostril, trying to drain the snot that's built up inside. ran quickly shuffles to your side, guiding you to the sofa. there's a soft frown on his face,

"why'd you get up? go back to bed," he watches as you lay your head against the large cinnamon roll plush on the couch. you shake your head, pulling the blanket closer to your face.

"it was too quiet in there. plus, i needed to make sure you guys didn't burn the house down," you joke, looking at rindou who is also crouched near the sofa. he presses a cold palm to your forehead and your eyes flutter shut.

"you're still too warm. if this continues, i'll take you to the hospital while ran goes to work tomorrow." you shake your head again, lips jutting out in a childish pout. you sigh, moving around on the sofa.

"it'll be fine," you keep your eyes close and you sniffle once again. your eyes instantly open at the smell of somehting burning. "what the hell is burning," the two brother instantly look at the gas stove, watching a flame burst from the pot. a chaotic mess of screams occurs in the house as the two rush to put the flame out.

"how the fuck do you burn soup?!" you scream at the them. in unison they turn back with sweat lining their foreheads,

"we don't know!" needless to say, there truly is never a dull moment in this house.

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