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#every free moment he has he is on instagram but i haven't found his profile???
vaultscoring · 3 years
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lmao i am talking to ASB again BUT SOMETHING IS OFF
#gay struggles#i decided to apologize for giving him the cold shoulder for a new days#because he doesn't have to like to talk to me just because i think he's cool#and i don't like having bad blood with ppl who didn't actually do anything bad to me#and then he was like 'it's fine i just don't talk much i like to stay alone'#and i confirmed if it was like if i kept starting conversation and he said yes so?#but idk it really feels like he doesn't really enjoy when i start to talk?#not that he actively starts talk with literally anyone ever but it doesn't seem as bad when other people bother to talk to him lol#also he is sooooooo weird with one thing and i need commentary#every free moment he has he is on instagram but i haven't found his profile???#like i didn't bother to look for CEB when i first had a crush on him because that's a quick way to get disillusioned#but ASB is sooooooo averse to talking and so awkward that i just want to know anything?#why is instagram so relevant and yet he doesn't use his name nor does he have any of his woekmates and yes i did some csi-ing#he doesn't have facebook either#like if it was just scrolling the feed i'd just think 'burner account' and it would fit the 'hates talking to people' thing#but i am sure hr was DMing someone one time we were having lunch WHO are you DMing without using your name it's instagram not tumblr lmao#why did i crush on someone even more inscrutable than the previous ones my therapist must be like 'i am homophobic now'#also yes CEB is fine but i think he might have noticed i am less anxious around him now#and weirdly he seems to be a bit more awkward towards me these days rather than less? idk i might be imagining
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yeongwvnhi · 3 years
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ᴸᵒᵛᵉ ᴬᵍᵃⁱⁿ
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Pairing - Baekhyun x fem reader -> exes to lovers | Genre - Angst, fluff | warnings - none | taglist - @twancingyunhoe @trashlord-007 @tiddy-boys | synopsis - when Baekhyun and you broke things off a year ago, it felt alright, but you came to the painful realization that nobody could ever replace him or love you like he did | word count - 2.1k | thanks to @tiddy-boys for beta-reading ♡
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It's days like these, rain hitting the window in harsh taps and angry wind blowing, when the nostalgia hits the hardest. After all, you were always one to dwell on the past. It's just what you do. 
Every day felt the same after the two of you broke things off. You don't even remember why exactly you even ended it in the first place. The pain still sits deep, coming to haunt you when you least expect it. 
Rainy days like those just trigger the nostalgia, the memories and bygone feelings. 
It's 12pm when you check your phone, yet you're still laying in bed. The lack of motivation due to this sudden wave of sadness is something you're not experiencing for the first time. 
And it's killing you slowly. These feelings are eating you up from the inside out. 
Without even realizing, tears are running down your cheeks in even, salty streams. 
"Why am I even crying…" You mumble and lift your arm to cover your face, trying to make it stop. "God, I'm so pathetic" 
You try to manage to stop your tears, wrist harshly rubbing your eyes. After a minute or so, you succeed in stopping them. 
instead pick up your phone, unlocking it and opening Instagram. 
One peek won't hurt, right…? 
His name at the top of your searches seems to be mocking you as you hover your finger above it. Should you really do it? What if he found someone new and his profile is filled with couple pictures? Or what if he feels nothing and is glad to be alone? What if, what if, what if…
"Fuck it" you hiss and tap on his username, his profile popping up after a brief second of loading the page. 
He… hasn't posted anything for a few months, his last post being from October last year. 
Oh for fucks sake… is this a good sign or not? It could mean he's been seeing someone new, but it could also mean he's just been living his life like usual. 
So many possibilities, yet no resolution seems to be in sight. 
"This is so annoying, oh my gooood" You groan and smack your head into your pillow, laying sprawled out like a star with an annoyed pout on your face. 
"It's been a god damn year," You grumble, "why do I still feel like this?" 
The sound of your fist hitting the mattress of your bed is dull, not the way you wanted it to sound. "I hate this, UGHH" The frustration in your voice is for sure loud and clear, accentuated well by the 'ugh'. 
This whole situation is stressing you out. "I need a shower.." You mumble, absent-minded, as you fling the covers back and swing your legs over the edge of your bed. 
Despite the gloomy weather, you decided to take a walk outside. The rain still hasn't let up, droplets of it occasionally hitting your face. 
"Why is it so cold today? It's already spring…" You mumble quietly to yourself, eyes strictly trained on the path in front of your feet and head held low. 
You're so lost in your thoughts, you don't see the person headed your way. 
And apparently, the person doesn't seem to notice you as well. So your shoulders collide and you stumble, umbrella falling out of your hand and fast quick steps to regain your balance. 
"I'm so sorry! Are you al-" The man rushes to apologize, but his words get stuck in his throat as he takes in who he just, quite literally, stumbled into. 
Rain has hit you mercilessly, soaking you from head to toe within seconds as you stand there, paralyzed. "Baek…Baekhyun?" 
His eyes are wide and mouth slightly open in shock as he doesn't know what to say or do. 
He hasn't seen or talked to you in at least nine or ten months for sure. What is he even supposed to say? "Yeah… it's- it's surely been a while" he dumbly answers. "Ah! Your umbrella!" Baekhyun rushes to pick it up and hold it over your figure. 
But the damage is already done. 
You're shivering, dripping with water but still you've a tiny smile on your lips at the sight of him. 
You delicately take hold of the handle, fingers gently enclosing around the man's hand. 
He doesn't move to let go, just standing there and staring into your eyes. "I-" 
You cut him off by mistake with a sneeze, the cold creeping in deep. It feels like your bones might freeze, grasp around both Baekhyun's hand and the handle of your umbrella tightening, muscles contracting to desperately stay warm. "S-Sorry for interrupting you" You say, teeth clattering and eyes averting. 
"No no don't worry about it!" He insists, "but we should get you home, your hand is cold as ice, Y/N" 
"Ah… you're right" You nod and he flashes you a warm smile. 
"Do you still live in the same apartment or did you move?" Baekhyun asks, back to being concerned about your wellbeing now. 
"I- I still live in the same place" You reply, your free hand holding onto your jacket for warmth, but in vain. 
"That's too far away, my place is way closer" He objects and gently pulls you along, "come on, let's get you freshened up before you really get sick" 
You only manage an awkward nod and let him lead you along, a surprisingly pleasant silence engulfing you two. 
Baekhyun unlocks the door to his apartment and firstly puts both of your umbrellas away, taking off his wet shoes in the process and you follow along. 
"Come on, I'll show you the bathroom" He says and you tag after him. 
He opens the door, turns on the light and quickly pulls out two towels for you. "You can just use my shampoo, I don't have anything suitable here for you, sor-" 
"Thank you" you break his rambling. "You wouldn't need to do this, so thank you" 
Baekhyun smiles softly, although his eyes tell a different story. "I'll bring you some clothes in a bit, okay?" 
"Mhm" you nod and give him a curt bow before he leaves the room, shutting the door behind him. 
You waste no time in stepping out of your soaked clothes and into the shower. 
You set the water to a nice warm temperature and rinse off the cold first, feeling relieved. 
Then there's a knock. "Hey Y/N, I'm putting some clothes on top of the washing machine for you now" he announces before opening the door, doing as he said and then leaving just as quickly as he came. 
"Still the considerate guy he always was…" You mumble with a sad smile, old memories coming back to haunt your mind with sweet images of the two of you. Him always knocking before he'd enter a room you would be in to announce himself. 
You loved that about him, he was always mindful of others and you're happy to see it hasn't changed at all. 
You finished quickly and put on the clothes he gave you. Some boxers and a way too big on you, black shirt. You dried your hair as best as you could with the towel he gave you and made sure you don't look like a lion by patting down your hair a bit. 
"Baekhyun?" You timidly call out after opening the door a bit. 
"Yeah?" He replies and you hear his footsteps approach. "What is it?" 
"Uhm- Where to put my wet clothes?" You ask. 
"Oh- Hold on, I'll put them in the washing machine" He says with big eyes and opens the machine for you to put them in. "I'll dry them after they're washed so you can change back, alright?" 
You nod quickly and thank him quietly. He opens the machine and you put your clothes inside, him doing the rest. 
"So, uh-" 
"Do you want some water?" He quickly asks, ears flaring red as he avoids your eyes. 
"Sure" you squeak back and follow him into the kitchen. He gets a glass out of a cupboard and fills it with water before handing it to you. 
You nip at the liquid as Baekhyun leans against the countertop adjacent to you, eyes taking in your figure. 
He missed seeing you in his clothes, you always looked so good in them. He just missed you in general. 
The reason why the two of you broke up a year ago? 
Baekhyun remembers it all too well. 
It was a work related thing actually. The two of you worked in different shifts and barely saw each other, yet alone had time for any couple stuff. 
Free days? Spent alone or arguing about never seeing each other. 
And at one point you had said to just break up. In that moment Baekhyun felt like he was hit by lightning, body stiff and eyes wide. He couldn't believe what he heard. Baekhyun felt anxiety cursing through his veins as his brain processed your words.
You had told him that you wouldn't hate him, but that your situation at that time just didn't allow any dating. The two of you never had hard feelings about the outcome, but it was hard to suddenly go back to being alone. 
And now you're here, in his apartment, wearing his clothes and smelling just like him. He can't believe this is happening. 
"Uhm, so" You speak up after setting the glass down on the other counter behind you. Your hands come up to grab the surface besides your waist and you avoid the man's eyes. 
"Yes?" Baekhyun can't help the hopeful hint in his voice as he urges you to continue your thoughts. 
"How has life been for you?" 
A chuckle escaped his lips at your question, shoulders jumping up and down in the process before he answered. "It's been rather boring but nice, if you get what I mean? I found a different job and work from home now" 
You nod quietly, "I've also found a new job and my shifts are less hectic" 
"Have you… found someone new?" 
You halt at his inquiry, gears in your mind temporarily stopping and he seems to take the lacking answer the wrong way. A frown pulls at his normally friendly and soft expression, making him look grumpy and bothered. "I see" 
"No, no! I- I haven't found anyone!" You quickly say, "I just… I couldn't move on" 
His expression changes to a sad smile, although he's kind of glad you're still somehow his. "Me neither" 
You scoff lightly, a cheeky smirk suddenly on your face. "No wonder, nobody could put up with your annoying ass anyway" 
"Hey!" He exclaims in shock. 
"I'm joking, I'm joking!" You insist, holding your stomach and laughing. "You're bearable most of the time" 
"That doesn't make it any better!" Baekhyun whines and you laugh out loud, hand flying up to cover your mouth. 
"Still the cocky little girl you've always been" He fires back and you snort. 
"Like you're one to talk" You roll your eyes at him and he exhales through his nose. 
His hands grab you by the collar of his shirt you're wearing and unexpectedly pull you into him. You squeal, hands shooting up to brace against his broad chest and you look up to be met by his cocky smile. "You never knew when to stop, no change at all there" he playfully nags. 
"Shut up" You weakly fight back. 
Baekhyun chuckles and you feel the rumble drumming against the palms of your hands. "How come you haven't moved on?" 
You lower your head, hands fumbling with his shirt. "Well… I came to the conclusion that just nobody could replace you. Nobody could love me like you did…" You mumble against his chest and Baekhyun feels a smile creeping up on his face. 
"I felt the same" He whispers back and his arms move to pull you into him more by your waist. 
After hearing that, you look back up at him with big eyes. "Really?" 
He nods and flashes you a bright smile. "Even though we fought a lot and barely had time for each other, I never stopped loving you" 
"Shut up" You almost whimper and move your hands to pull him closer by the back of his neck, lips meeting in the middle. 
Baekhyun's eyes almost fell out of their sockets before he came to his senses. 
One of his hands found its place on the back of your head as he moved his lips against yours with fervor. He greedily breathes you in, not wanting this to end as moves his mouth against yours. 
You shiver when his tongue meets yours and that's when you draw the line… for now. 
He chases after you for a second and you chuckle, dazed eyes meeting yours. "Slow down tiger" you say and peck the corner of his mouth. 
"Okay, okay" He smiles and pulls you in for a hug, "will you let me love you again?" 
"You bet" 
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